Bachelorette

Bachelorette

Those who signed up for the Bachelorette with Hermione as prize: Harry Potter (of course), Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Viktor Krum, Percy Weasley, Severus Snape, Vincent Crabbe, Colin Creevey, Dennis Creevey, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Blaise Zabini, Roger Davies, Cedric Diggory, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Ernie Macmillan, Dudley Dursley, Neville Longbottom, Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint.

Hosts: Minerva McGonagall, Sibylla Trelawney

Chapter 1 - Bed-mates and the secret guest

When the guys arrived to the house where they were going to live for the next twenty days, they were all nervous. They had just find out that Hermione would ditch one per day until there was only one winner left, and that made especially Harry very unsure. He didn't think he would stand it if he was the one to get ditched first.

Everybody sat down in three huge and ugly sofas, but at once Harry stood up with a look of horror in his face.

"Cedric!" he cried out, "but... you're dead!"

"Or so you might think," said Cedric arrogantly and winked at him.

"Oh, so this is your famous boyfriend Cedric," said Dudley and laughed at his own joke, who by the way, no one but himself understood.

"Muggle," Blaise hissed under his breath.

At the exactly same time, the door opened and the two hosts for the show, Trelawney and McGonagall, came in.

"Welcome my friends, to the Bachelorette of Hogwarts! You will not meet Hermione Granger tonight, but she'll look at pictures of you lot, and then pick out who'll leave the castle tonight. If you ask me, I think that she'll ditch the ugliest of you," said Trelawney with a friendly smile on her face.

"You're so out Longbottom," Draco grinned.

"Indeed!" Dudley laughed. Everybody looked digusted at him.

"Well, we could stand here all day, chatting with you lot, but we're in a hurry, so have a pleasant evening," said McGonagall sharply, then turned around and stepped out of the room with Trelawney following her like a little dog.

For a moment, everybody sat in silence, then Ernie Macmillan opened his mouth... and yawned.

"I'm tired," he said, "where are the beds?"

Seamus, who was the owner of the house, smiled and said

"Upstairs, but we only got ten... so we have to share beds. Dean, will you be my bed-mate?"

"Sure," said Dean, his face flushing in red tones. Suddenly, McGonagall came back in the room.

"I forgot, I was supposed to draw lots about which ones who's going to be bed-friends."

"You're kidding, right?" said Draco and glanced at Dudley, who was like three Harry.

"I'm afriad not, Mr Malfoy," McGonagall said. Krum giggled and looked at Wood.

"Very well, let's get started." McGonagall took up a bowl made by gold, with twenty pieces of parchment in. Everybody looked tensed at it, as she took up the first note.

"Harry Potter," she called out loud. "And..." she took up her second note. "Percy Weasley."

Percy patted Harry gentle on the shoulder, but Harry just stood still in shock.

"Dudley Dursley and Vincent Crabbe."

"Hah! That will never work out, they have to have atleast three beds for their fat asses," Draco said with a scornfull smile. McGonagall looked coldly at him.

"Draco Malfoy and Cedric Diggory." Cedric shrugged.

"Works for me," he said.

"Yeah, beuaty bed," said Draco, clearly satisfied.

"Oh, really Malfoy. I didn't know you were into boys," said Ron.

"No surprise to me," said Blaise.

"And what the hell do you mean with that, Zabini?"

"Oh, come on Malfoy, I know you're been looking at me in the bedroom at Hogwarts while I'm asleep," said Blaise.

"In your dreams," Draco said, surprisingly self-controlled.

"Yes, thats exactly my point you idiot," said Blaise.

"No need for fighting, boys, I have much to do so we have to hurry, hurry, hurry, all day long," said McGonagall.

"Viktor Krum and Ron Weasley." Ron went light red, then dark red, then blue.

"Easy Ron, remember to breathe," Harry said, who had recovered himself from his shock.

"Hermione is mine," Ron hissed at Krum.

"I love Her-my-own-Ninny," Krum said aggressively.

"I just signed my name up for the money," said Draco, he couldn't resist interfering in other peoples conversations.

"What money?" everybody said, including McGonagall.

"Aren't there some money in this game? You know, win the chick, get the million galleons."

"No, Malfoy, why didn't you just read the rules before you signed up?" Draco didn't answer, instead he went out in the kitchen and came back with some toasts and ham. "Who's up for a midnight-snack?" he said.

"I just said five minutes ago, I'm in a hurry, so please put away your god damn ham," said McGonagall and took up two new notes.

"Severus Snape and Neville Longbottom." It was a loud sound at the exact spot Neville had stood the second before. He had fainted.

"I didn't know he fancied me that much," Snape said, surprised.

"Roger Davies and Ernie Macmillan," said McGonagall loud to shut down alternative answers to Snapes comment.

"Colin Creevey and Dennis Creevey." Both Creevey-brothers burst into tears and hugged eachother hard.

"That's disgusting," Draco said.

"Jealous?" Blaise asked cunningly.

"No, I just said one second ago: disgusting"

"You're jealous..." said Blaise irritating.

"Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint!" McGonagall shouted.

"That's not going to last for more than five minutes," Harry whispered to Ron, who giggled. But when he thought on his bed-mate, he looked sad again.

"Dean Thomas and Blaise Zabini." Everybody looked at Blaise, excpecting him to say something mean to Dean.

"What?" he said after a while.

"Nothing, nothing..." Everybody looked away.

"And the last couple, Seamus Finnigan and Justin Finch-Fletchley. Well, it's late and we're all tired. Good night everyone." McGonagall ran out of the room.

"Isn't it weird that almost everybody got someone they hate?" said Blaise, and Harry nodded, agreeding. Percy blinked some tears away.

"But Harry, surely you do not hate me? I thought we were mates, mum has always told me how much you and Ron admire me."

"Sure Perce, whatever."

"Well, I'm off to bed, coming Roger?" Ernie Macmillan said.

About ten of them went to bed, but Harry and the others who didn't like their bed-mates stayed in the room with the ugly sofas.

"Okay, does everybody here really like Hermione, or did you just sign up because you want to be all famous and stuff?" Blaise spit out.

Everyone looked away, except Krum, who said again

"I love Her-my-own-Ninny."

"Is that all you can say?" said Draco, smiling crooked smile and shuffled away to the toast and ham, who no one had payed attention to.

"Where am I?" said a weak voice behind the sofa. It was Neville, who had woke up.

"Neville, you look terrible. I suggest that you should go to bed," said Ron, sounding very much like Mrs Weasley.

"No... I think I just stay here all night," Neville said.

"Oh yeah, Snape is your bed-mate...I forgot."

Suddenly, Dobby came in with a board loaded with drinks on in his hands.

"Butterbeer everyone," he said, smiling at Harry, who smiled back but didn't say any greeting to him.

"Yes, finally we can get drunk!" Blaise beamed and drank up two glasses in one gulp.

Everybody ran up to the board so they could get some Butterbeer, and soon Percy rised his glass for a toast.

"For Hermione...and me and my bed-mate Harry ofcourse!"

"For Harry!" everyone repeated.

Five minutes later, Harry felt how tired he was. He yawned and said

"Guess I' going to bed now." He glanced at Percy who directly said

"I'm glad you finally want to sleep, I'm very tired myself, but I didn't want to be impolite so I waited here for you."

"Well...err...That's very kind of you Percy," Harry said. He looked around and saw everybody yawning, except for Blaise who looked very alert.

"You don't think there was something in the butterbeer that made us tired?" Neville said worried, "because I just can't go to bed, ever in this house. Oh, I hope Hermione will vote me out soon, this is not good for my poor nerves."

"I'm not at all tired, I can stay up all night and play funny games with you, Longbottom," Blaise said with a sadistic smile, and Neville looked even more horrified then he had done before.

Everybody except Blais and the frightened Neville went with heavy steps up the stairs to their beds. Although Harry was so tired that he could fall asleep standing, he still had some energy left to tell Percy that he absolutley insisted that they should sleep feet-to-head.

The next morning, they all woke up to the sound of a loud and noisy signal, some sort of bell, but apparently that wasn't enough for Percy.

"WAKE UP HARRY, IT'S MORNING!" he shouted into Harry's ear.

"I am awake, thank you very much Percy," Harry muttered. The door opened and Dobby went in.

"Gathering in the room with the ugly sofas," he said. When Harry and Percy went out, Harry glared back and saw Dobby make their bed.

Poor Dobby, always the servant. Hermione won't like it, he thought.

They were the very last one's, and Harry sat down next to Neville, who looked like a living dead.

"Haven't you slept anything, Neville?"

"No, I couldn't go upstairs, knowing that Snape was waiting in the bed, so I stayed here all night with Blaise."

"And boy, did we have fun or what?" said Blaise, who was sitting on Nevilles other side.

"No, we didn't," Neville said. Then he turned to Harry again,

"Blaise just ran around in circles. I think there's something seriously wrong with him."

Trelawney and McGonagall stepped into the room.

"Good morning everyone, I hope you all have slept well, we have a long day in front of us," Trelawney beamed.

Harry glanced at Neville, who had fallen asleep with Blaise' shoulder as a pillow.

Blaise didn't seem to have noticed it, but then, there probably was something wrong with him.

"We're in a hurry so let's get to the mainpart. I'm sure you're all very exited about who's ditched," said McGonagall.

"Yes we are!" Dudley yelled.

"Well, I will not keep you waiting. The one who have to leave the castle is Ron Weasley." Draco and Blaise started to laugh,

and Krum cried out in happiness "I love Her-my-own-Ninny!"

"Ron, will you come here with me?" said Trelawney, and Ron, white in his face with fury, nodded and followed her out.

Everybody looked after him, and Harry felt furious at Hermione. How could she pick Ron first?

Dudley and Snape were both twice as ugly, and absolutley twice as mean.

"Today, you will meet a special guest. You'll talk to him separate with only your bed-friend, and he will have a quiz between you. The one who wins can go and talk to Hermione for about half an hour."

Oh no... I will never win a quiz against Percy, Harry thought.

"Dudley Dursley and Vincent Crabbe, you're the first to go." McGonagall waved at them to follow her and they walked out of the room.

When the door closed behind them Dean shouted

"Poor Ron, that was a very naugthy thing to do."

"Naughty you said? Nothing's naughty compared to what I heard last night from Potter and Weasels room," Draco said, grinning.

"What?"

"Oh don't play games with us Potter, I know you have a crush on Mr Weasel here."

Percy went red.

"Harry...is that true? You have to understand, I have a girlfriend."

"Then why did you get here at the first time?"

When Percy did not answer, Seamus interfered in the conversation.

"Oh, can't we get breakfast soon? I'm starving."

"It's your house you know, mate," said Dean friendly and smiled at him.

"Yeah I know, I'm not stupid," Seamus spit out, and cast a look with hate in at Dean.

Then he turned at the others and said,

"The deal says that during these twenty days, I can not claim that this is my house or use anything in it that you can't. That means that I can't make you guys breakfast, I'm sorry."

"Fancy that, fatsos. Well anyway, I'm a Malfoy so I don't need to eat all the time. I would be perfectly fine even if I didn't eat for a week. So should you, Weasel. Guess you're used to starve, aren't you? Poor parents, many familymembers. Can't be much to eat in your house?" said Draco.

Percy opened his mouth to say something clever back, but he couldn't come up with something. Harry felt that he had to defend the Weasley family, even if it was Percy who was attacked.

"Oh, shut up Malfoy," he said, as usual.

"Potter, don't say shut up to everyone you meet," said Snape coldly, it was almost the first time he had opened his mouth in the castle,except for when Neville had fainted. Probably beacuse he was embarassed over that he was the only grown-up and wanted to keep a low profile, but his hate against Harry was too big.

"Really, Professor Snape, what are you doing here?"

"I don't like your tone Mr Wood, and that's non of your buisness."

"Wonder who the secret guest is. It's weird that we're not all allowed to meet Hermione, I mean, that's what the point is, isn't it? That she'll know us and then make the decision who she's going to marry," said Colin Creevey.

"Marry us?" Draco said, frightened, "but...the money?"

"For the last time Malfoy, there are no money in this game, and Colin, we're not marrying her," said Harry angrily.

"Yeah, Harry's right. But where is the god damn food?" Wood almost shouted.

"Malfoy, where did you get your toast and ham from that you fetched yesterday?"

Draco smiled.

"Oh, that's a secret between me and Finnigan."

Dean looked surprised at Seamus, who avoided eyecontact with him.

The day went on, McGonagall came out and fetched different pairs sometimes, but never Harry and Percy. No one came back, Harry assumed that they were transfered to antoher room so they couldn't tell the others what the questions was. In the end, it was only Percy and Harry left, and Harry felt pressed, there hade been a silent ever since Blaise and Dean had left the room.

"So...Percy...How's going between you and Penelope right now?"

"Not very good, actually. That's why I signed up, to get her jealous. Do you think it will work?"

"Err...Sure...But what if Hermione pick you? Haven't you given a though to that?" Harry said, doubting.

"Harry, I'm absolutley sure that she will not pick me, after all, Hermione is a clever girl and she knows that I'm far too old for her. Actually, there's a lot of guys here who's too old for her, Snape for an example. And there is one who looks very young, can't be a year over nine."

"Guess your talking about Dennis Creevey, but infact he's thirteen."

"Oh..." Percy began to say, but he didn't got time to finish the sentence beacuse McGonagall opened the door and Harry rised.

They followed her through the door and find themselves standing in a room which almost looked exactly like the other, just that the sofas were even more uglier. Seamus parents can't be good at furnishing Harry thought to himself, and felt very sorry for Seamus.

"Sit down and I will go get the secret guest," said McGonagall and hurried away.

Harry sat down in one of the ugly sofas, and immediately Percy sat down next to him.

They didn't have to wait long, the door opened almost directley and in stepped...Dumbledore.

"Good morning Harry," he said friendly.

"Good morning, Professor Dumbledore. Are you the secret guest? How stupid of me, ofcourse you are, what else would you do here?" said Percy eagerly, he really wanted Dumbledore to notice him, and perhaps say something nice about his glasses.

"Yes, I'm the secret guest who will have the quiz with you. Hello to you too, by the way, Percy. Well, as Professor McGonagall just told me before you came in, we're in a hurry, so we should start with the questions. That Blaise Zabini has an ability to make the time fly away by just chatting. Anyway, there's just three questions, and the first one who shouts his name get to anwswer. If the first person answer's wrong, the second one does not gives the oppertunity to answer. That's the rules. Are you ready?" "Yes sir, Professor Dumbledore!" Percy beamed and adjusted his shiny glasses.

"Harry?"

"Yeah..." Harry answered but with no empathy, there wasn't the slightest chance that he could win this.

Damn pompeuse Percy.

Dumbledore smiled and blinked at him.

"Question number one, how many ingredients is it in Butterbeer?"

"I KNOW!" Percy yelled.

"Err...Okay, but after this you have to remember to shout your name, Percy. So, what is the answer."

"There are two ingredients in butterbeer, butter and beer ofcourse."

"I'm afraid that's the wrong answer. There are seven ingredients in butterbeer, but as we are pressed on time, I can't tell you which. Next question. What is the spell that makes dementors go away?"

"Harr..."

"PERCY!"

"I'm sorry Harry, you were before Percy, but you didn't say your whole name," Dumbledore said.

"So Percy, what's the answer?"

"Well, this one I'm pretty sure of." Percy laughed a self-confindent laugh, "The Patronus-spell."

"Correct, one point to you Percy." Percy jumped up of the sofa and danced some sort of victory-dance. Dumbledore laughed, and then looked encouraging at Harry.

"Only one question to go now," he said.

"In the Dramanga potion, there are more than twenty ingredients, but what really is the use of it?" It stood still in Harry's head, he glanced at Percy who looked like an unusually stupid goldfish.

"I see on your faces that you haven't the slightest idea. Well, that makes Percy the winner. I'm sorry Harry, and congratulations Percy."

Percy was about to say something, but Harry immediately got up from the sofa and asked loudly

"Where are the others?"

"Oh, they are in the next room, waiting for you and for lunch."

They went out to a huge dining room, where all the others sat and waited around a big table, loaded with delicacys.

"Finally, I was so hungry that I could have eaten Longbottom here," said Blaise and patted Neville, who sat next to him, on the head.

"Indeed," said Wood.

"Well, let's start eating then," sighed Dean.

"Some of us has already started," Draco said, looking at Dudley and Crabbe, who both already was on their second plate.

"Disgusting."

Everybody stuffed themselves with food for about five minutes. You have to understand, they hadn't got breakfast and no dinner yesterday, just little ham and toast for some of them.

"So anyway, whom won?" asked Blaise. "I know I did," he added and grinned at Dean, who made an ugly face expression at him.

"Yeah, I did too, I'm still in chock of how stupid Cedric are," said Draco.

"Like the first question, he actually thought that it only was two ingredients in butterbeer, butter and beer!"

"I did not, don't lie, Malfoy, you git," said Cedric angrily.

"Yeah, I actually belive him. No one can be that stupid," said Blaise, and almost everybody agreeded.

Harry glanced at Percy who had a tomtato-like colour in his face and looked very embarrassed.

And so did Dudley.

"Did anyone actually know the answer on the last question?" said Seamus, "for I sure didn't." "I did," said Snape, very proudly,"I knew all the answers." "Oh really Professor, happy about seeing Hermione tonight?" said Blaise with a sarcastic smile. "Watch yourself, Zabini." "I love Her-my-own-Ninny," said Krum, when he heard Hermione's name mentioned. "Yeah, we kind of know that now," said Draco. Krum beamed at him and he looked disgusted away.

When they all had had enough to eat, a troop of houselves with Dobby in front came in and cleared the table.

Then McGonagall and Trelawney went in and told the winners to follow them out.

Harry was left with Neville and a couple of losers like Marcus Flint, Colin Creevey (Dennis had won over him) and Seamus Finnigan.

At the moment Snape left the room, Neville started to complain

"Oh, I really, really hope that Hermione'll ditch me out tonight. Snape is horrible, he knew all he answers and even if I had known them, I hadn't dare to compete with him.

And I'm sure that he mumbled curses at me when we waited for Dumbledore in the room with those awful sofas."

"Hey, those are my mum's favourite," Seamus snapped.

"I hope we doesn't have to cooperate with our bed-mates, Malfoy is really annoying. Like this morning, he stood in front of the mirror for a whole hour, I received three minutes to arrange my hair," said Cedric.

"Really? I actually didn't know that he was that vain," said Harry with a grin on his face.

"Hey, is there any food left?" Dudley asked loudly.

"No there isn't, I don't even know what your doing here Dudley, you hate wizarding, you don't belong here," Harry muttered.

"Yeah, but when I saw you sign up, I read about it, and I thought like that Malfoy-guy that you could win money. And I wanted to beat you ofcourse," Dudley answered.

"Ofcourse..."

It was a silence for about one minute, then Marcus Flint opened his mouth. He turned to Dudley and said

"So, your a muggle. How's that working out for you?

Dudley looked frightened at him, he was indeed scared of wizards, especially when there were no grown-ups around. Harry was okay to talk with, and actually Crabbe also, they had a very huge interest together: food. Crabbe was amazed over how much candy there was in the muggle-world.

"I'm fine, thanks," he stammered.

Flint looked with a condescending expression at him.

"Okay..." he said, the he looked at Roger Davies and rolled with his eyes.

Harry ignored them and decided to start a conversation with Neville again, but when he turned at him he saw that he had fallen asleep again. He thought that he could do that too, after all, he hadn't slept very well the night before. It was rather hard to feel safe enough to have a good night sleep with Percy's feet just ten centimetres away from his head.

About three hours later, he woke up by the noise of the winners coming back.

"Damn, Hermione was sexy in that swimsuit," Harry heard Blaise say.

"What swimsuit?" said Justin Finch-Fletchley.

"Yeah, what are you talking about, Zabini?" said Ernie.

"I actually don't know, but I can assure, Hermione loves me. She practically said straight out that she was going to pick me."

"Sure, Zabini," Malfoy said scornfully, "what did she really say?"

"That I was the most good-looking boy here. Me, you and Cedric."

"Hah, I knew it. Potter, did you hear that? You're UGLY!" Malfoy went mad and jumped up on the table and started to dance some sort of cheerleading-dance.

"U-G-L-Y, you aint got no alibi, you're ugly, eh eh, you're ugly." He finished it by wheeling twice."That was for you Potter," he added.

Everybody stood still and stared at him for a second, then all started to laugh and applaud.

"Where the hell have you learned how to dance like that Malfoy? And not to mention where have you learn that song?" Harry said.

"It's a damn pity that Ron isn't here. And I don't even have a camera."

"Oh, please Potter. You will go crazy sometime in this house too. It was actually very refreshing. Want to come up here and dance the balloon-dance with me?"

"Thanks but no thanks, Malfoy"

"I can do it sometime," said Blaise, "but I have to have som butterbeers first ofcourse, my source to madness."

"I think you're all acting very childish. Doesn't anyone want to play non-wizarding-chess or anything like that?" Percy said, glancing at Harry.

"How fun can it be, really?" said Seamus. Percy looked angrily at him, then went away with sad steps.

Cedric looked at his Gucci-watch and said, "Well, it's only half past eight... Does anyone know what we can do for about three hours?"

"We can dance."

"I just told you Malfoy, I have to have some butterbeer first," said Blaise with an irritated voice.

"Okay... let's have a role-play. We can play a story I've made," Draco answered.

"Have you written a story for a role-play? Hah!" Harry said and laughed wild and high until he got some weird looks from people around.

"Yeah, what's so funny about that, Potter? I'm sure that you couldn't do it even if you tried."

Harry's bad mood came directely,

"Is that so? Want a bet?" he snarled.

"Sure, why not? You get one week from now to write a role-play story, then everybody who's left get to read it and mine,

then they vote and the story who the majority votes for wins. That sounds fair doesn't it?"

"You've got it ,Malfoy. Just one thing, what if one of us isn't left next week?"

"Then that person loses."

They shook hands and everybody applauded. Blaise went too far as usual and made a song.

"The stupid potty and the amazing ferret,

they made a silly bet

but all I can think of is butterbeer,

I want to make my throat wet.

The stupid Potty and the amazing ferret,

they can't keep their hands off eachother

I think they're so disgusting,

and I truly hope that they won't meet my mother"

"What the hell?"

"If anyone is disgusting in this room it is you, Zabini," said Harry angrily.

"Yeah, and perhaps Snape"

"Dean Thomas, you do not talk about me like that. You just be glad that we aren't in school, because if we had been there,

you can be sure that loads of points from Gryffindor had been lost."

"Yeah, I know," said Dean with a self-confident smile.

"I'm going to the bedroom now. I have to start writing on my role-play story. Good night, you guys," Harry said.

"Good night, Harry!" almost everyone answered.

"Sweet dreams my little flower," said Krum.

Everybody's head turned against him.

"What did you just say?"

"I have some problem with my english, so he helped me," said Krum and pointed at Blaise, who had tried to sneak away and hide behind a large pot.

"Did I say anything wrong?"

"No, Krum, that was absolutely correct english. Carry on saying that to everybody," Malfoy said.

Harry sighed and started to go upstairs. He had to sneak so Percy, who stood in a corner and looked sad, wouldn't hear him and follow him. He thought of what he was going to write about. His story had to be better than Malfoy's, it just had to. What was he thinking, he had never been a good writer, but that was Malfoy on the other hand.

Bloody hell, what had he given himself into?