The Scarlett Letter

Disclaimer: JK is the one with the billion dollars, not me.

Chapter Nine

A Scarlett Epilogue: Things Are Not Always As They Seem

A week later. Most of the older students had gathered in the library after school for a spot of studying. Hermione and Ginny were among them. The red-headed girl was flipping through her Advanced Transfiguration, Level 5. The bushy-haired witch was busy looking up cross-references in a gigantic tome entitled Magical Fungi of Central Asia.

Ginny's gaze eventually wandered away from her textbook and towards the various people that populated the library. A group of Slytherins and Ravenclaws studied Charms around a thick oaken table near a large window. Seamus coached two first-year Slytherin girls through one of their basic spells between the shelves of books. Pansy tutored Gregory patiently through a particularly difficult potions assignment, and Gregory listened intently. None of them spoke above a whisper.

Watching the scene before her, Ginny couldn't help but smile. Everyone was getting along so perfectly--and she knew exactly who had allowed for that.

She pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and began scribbling a note:

Hermy, have you yet stopped to notice Scarlett's handiwork?

Ginny tapped Hermione on the shoulder. "What?" the witch replied, not paying much attention. "I'm trying to study here." But she took the note anyway and read it through. She couldn't help but smiling.

I did indeed notice.

She handed the parchment back to Ginny and returned to her book.

It still surprises me what one single porn star was able to do to Hogwarts.

When Ginny pushed the note to Hermione as second time, she carefully laid aside her thick volume with a shake of her head and took up the parchment.

It's amazing how some things turn out, Ginny. What seemed like a small tool meant to teach a lesson became a big phenomenon like nothing before. Absolutely stunning. . .

And the outcome! I never expected such benefits, Hermione, I really didn't. Not only did The Scarlett Letter manage to sack Lucius Malfoy as a school governor AGAIN, but it also made him lose every bit of standing he had in good society.

Ha, especially after the Daily Prophet arrived last Saturday! It drew out every embarrassing aspect of the whole thing to its utmost potential. Everyone--the Hogwarts parents especially--thinks that Lucius Malfoy is a perverted pedophile. Lucius Malfoy the Death Eater they could handle--but this. . .

Not a chance. Aw, they're afraid he'll rape their ickle kiddies. Though I'll bet he did worse at the Death Eater saturnalias.

Ugh, Ginny, don't let's talk about that before dinner!

Speaking of Death Eaters, you do know that he was their major source of money and influence.

Emphasis on "was." Fudge won't even speak to him now. He's raging furious that Lucius wrote about them having sex in The Scarlett Letter. Though that might also have to do with Scarlett comparing his member to a tiny link sausage :)

Haha! Fudge fined him something awful for that particular libel. That's on top of all the other fines. He had to send back his 500,000 galleon advance from BWIP, as well as an additional 50,000 for violating the contract in such a manner.

Then there was all the money he had to send back to refund his subscribers. Then the plagiarism fines for all the photos he stole from other porn magazines. How much was that again?

Twenty-five thousand galleons a picture. And there were about fifty pictures an issue. It came out to about 10,000,000 galleons in the end, including all the other fines. Lucius kicked up a tremendous fuss over the whole thing. He insists that he didn't make the magazine, that he didn't plagiarize the photos and lust after the youngsters, but nobody believes him. They found a whopping pile of porn in his home that had a good deal of the pages cut out. When the Ministry Aurors got their hands on other copies of the same magazines, they saw that the missing pictures from the originals all appeared in The Scarlett Letter! Bad, bad Lucius Malfoy!

It's strange how those things happen, Ginny, isn't it? *wicked grin*

Yeah, Hermione. What's even better is that Lucius Malfoy is banned from setting foot inside this school again. Dumbledore didn't even have to beg before the minister pulled a restraining order on old Lucius. The Malfoys can't give this school their shit any longer.

Not even Draco. If you've noticed, he's actually becoming a better person. He's truly trying to be nice to people now.

Or at least not so rude. Parvati seems to talk about him more each day, and her comments sound less and less unfavorable all the time.

All our doing. They'll be a couple by springtime, I guarantee it. Not even the Slytherin-Other House pairing will be such a huge hurdle, seeing as Crabbe and Eloise jumped it before them.

Gosh, I was just as surprised as the next person when they came out and told everyone. But, as much as I hate to admit it, Slytherin romance seems more appealing with each passing moment. Even Crabbe and Goyle seem more gentlemanly nowadays.

Why should you hate to admit it, Ginny? It was Scarlett who did it for them. Aren't you proud of her? She made Crabbe and Goyle--especially the latter--realize that good looks aren't everything in a girl. Goyle's stopped ogling everyone except Pansy, who is, incidentally, his girlfriend.

She sure got over Malfoy surprising quickly.

I'm sure part of her wanted to prove that she didn't care for him any longer. But I think an even larger part of her knew, long before their break-up, that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. And I think The Conspiracy really helped her cope.

I think that Conspiracy helped not just her, but every girl in this school. They've finally found a proper way to chase after boys.

Yeah, Luna told me about the Quidditch tournament they're planning for late March. I'm really quite proud of her for thinking it up. What do you say we help them with it?

Great idea. My brother and Harry are helping with the Valentine's Day breakfast the boys are planning. I think it was supposed to be a surprise, but nothing stays a secret at Hogwarts for long, not when half the student body knows about it.

*sniff* Those boys learned some real lessons, too, it seems. I'm so proud of Scarlett. I never would have thought she could do all of this.

Sure, everyone hates her now, but the houses have united in a common cause against her.

Wait, Ginny, they don't hate Scarlett. They think she doesn't exist. They're united against LUCIUS.

Oh yeah.

And that's the best part of it! Lucius didn't write The Scarlett Letter! He didn't send messages to those boys, and he didn't collect their photographs for his endless amusement. He didn't receive an advance from BWIP, nor did he receive any funds from the newsletter. So, for comeuppance of all the other stuff he's gotten away with in the past, he had to pay for a whole list of offenses he didn't commit! The REAL Scarlett got away with everything!! Talk about perfect!

. . . . . . Yes, perfect. Except for one thing.

What's that, Ginny?

You got Ron, Pansy got Goyle, Malfoy got Parvati, Eloise got Crabbe, Flitwick got McGonagall, etc. Heck, Moaning Myrtle even got Nearly-Headless Nick! But I didn't get Harry.

I'm really sorry, Ginny. I wish that it didn't happen that way.

It almost makes me sorry that the entire thing happened in the first place! Sure, everyone got taught a wonderful lesson, but was it worth it if I lost Harry forever because of it?? People talk about the greater good, but I can hardly bring myself to care at times like this. Before the newsletter, I at least had hope. But now, after everything is all said and done, I know that Harry has fully lost interest in me. He still wants to meet with Scarlett tonight!

I know, Ginny. I'm sorry. Look, we'll think of something. Remember what Harry said in his letter to Scarlett?

Yeah, yeah. "Things are not always as they seem." Sure. But most of the time they are.

~~~~~

That evening Harry was too jittery to sit still during dinner. He shifted about in his seat and tapped his fingers against the side of his glass. He ate half his food with astonishing rapidity, then pushed the other half around his plate, looking both excited and slightly nauseous.

"Anything the matter with you, mate?" Ron asked around a mouthful of roll.

"Nope," Harry answered as he stacked his butterbeans atop his roast lamb.

"You seem. . . different," Ron persisted.

"I'm just excited," Harry said with a secret sort of smile. "You know how life gives you excitement sometimes, don't you?"

Ron raised his eyebrows, but didn't push the matter. With a shake of his head he returned to his roll.

After a while Harry got up from the table and left for the Entrance Hall. A flame raced in his heart as he reached the double doors of Hogwarts. Pushing them open, he stepped into the twilit violet of the evening and flitted softly down a cobblestone path.

Tonight he was going to get what he longed for. Many were the days he spent wishing for this very thing, wondering if his daydreams and fantasies would ever come true. And now his instincts told him one thing: this was his night to succeed--he had waited long enough.

He reached the portico just as the grand clock of Hogwarts struck seven. Its every booming knell reverberated in Harry's chest, as if it were his own heart pulsing violently in the darkening air. He turned his gaze towards the courtyard.

Only one person was there, sitting on the rim of the fountain and gazing out at the rugged Scottish landscape around her. Her fiery hair caught the last ray of sunlight, casting a glowing aura around her petite frame. It wasn't Scarlett--it was Ginny.

Harry's heart beat faster. He stepped from the portico into the courtyard. "Hello, Ginny," he said.

She didn't even turn around. "What around you doing here?" she asked. Her voice was low and toneless, yet tinged with a note of bitterness. A lurch in Harry's chest stopped his heart for a painfully endless moment.

But no, this was his night for success! It didn't matter that Ginny was sad now; it all would change! He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he strolled towards Ginny, his casual gate belying his thundering heart.

"I said what are you doing here?" Ginny repeated, acidity poisoning her gentle voice.

"I'm here to meet somebody," he answered lightly as he took a seat beside her.

She slid away from him, still not showing her face. "Who?" she asked astringently.

Harry let a smile play across his lips. "A girl," he said, his voice measured.

This was too much for Ginny, she whirled around and hissed, "It's Scarlett, isn't it?!" Harry saw her face for the first time--tears streaked her cheeks and her eyes were rubbed raw. She looked truly a nervous wreck. Harry felt a pang of guilt, but he squashed it. Everything would be all right in just a little bit. . .

Instead, he let his smile spread across his face and said amusedly, "Why, however did you guess?"

"You know bloody well how!" Ginny retorted, suddenly flaming up. "Scarlett told Hermione herself! We saw your blasted love notes! And we know why you want to meet Scarlett here tonight!"

Harry raised his eyes. "Why is that, I wonder?" he said.

"BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FUCK HER TO PIECES!" Ginny screamed. "You said you only wanted part of her--only part! And I know exactly which part that is."

"Oh?" Harry said, deciding now might be the best time to cut her off before she stormed away.

She didn't give him a chance to speak, however. "You want her body!" Ginny screamed furiously. "You don't care anything about her mind! I thought I loved you--I really, truly thought that you were the best man in the world! But I was WRONG!"

And she whirled around, fully intending to leave Harry by himself to wait for a Scarlett who would never show up.

But he stopped her with a simple, "Wait." It was a plain request, not a command, but Ginny felt compelled to obey it. She stopped in her tracks, and Harry stepped closer to her, his cloak whispering softly in the evening breeze.

"You're right, Ginny," Harry said softly. "I want only part of Scarlett." She sniffed back a tear and flung her gaze away from his. "But you don't really believe that I'd want her body. I think we both know which part I really want."

"Oh?" Ginny said, her voice high with anxiety. "And what part is that, exactly?!"

Harry's smile split across his whole face and lit his green eyes with a fervor of passion. "I want the part that is standing in front of me right now."

Ginny froze, completely dumbfounded. Her anger slowly drained away to be replaced by a twisting confusion. "What?" she said simply, fully lost to Harry's last comment.

Harry laughed softly. "Don't think I didn't know," he said, highly amused. "There never was a porn star. But neither did Lucius Malfoy write The Scarlett Letter. Heck, there was never even an old friend of Hermione's from her primary school. It's been you and Hermione the whole time."

A sudden leap of hope flicked through Ginny's heart. "How long have you known?" she whispered, still unable to fully comprehend what was happening. "I thought no one would guess!"

Harry laughed. "Not after the Daily Prophet had their say, they won't!" he said. "But I figured it all out before that. I admit that Scarlett's unique voice and style sounded familiar when Parvati read her "Flower Sonnet" aloud at the Gryffindor table. But the answer didn't come to me until you recited a sonnet of your own."

Ginny stared at him in disorientation. "You figured out that very day?" she whispered, her voice unsteady.

"Yep," Harry said, smiling a tiny bit.

Ginny couldn't help it. She began crying again. Harry didn't love Scarlett after all--she had hope again! Oh, she had never thought it could be true!

"Ginny. . ." Harry said quickly, apparently very much startled by her sudden wave of tears. He moved closer and slipped his firm hands into her tender own.

"Oh, Harry," she whispered through her tears, "You are so. . . damn. . . stupid!!"

All trace of smile left Harry's face. "What?" he said, a suddenly stunned expression filling his clear green eyes.

Ginny didn't answer--she pulled him violently towards her and locked his lips against her own. She worked against him for an everlasting moment, pouring all her anxiety and frustration into that kiss. She let her six years of waiting go in a single endless moment and poured her all into him. He couldn't even respond against her sudden attack--he could only clutch desperately to her as the wave of her sensations rolled against him, sending his mind spiraling into the distant stars above them.

Then they broke apart. Harry took a deep steadying breath as he gazed into her eyes. "I. . ." he gasped. "I. . ." What was one to say at a moment like this? No words came to his mind except three that he longed to utter. And so: "I love you."

Ginny smiled through a mist of tears. "Why couldn't you have told me that last week during the storm?" she asked. "Why send us both on this wild escapade of emotions and worry when everything could have been resolved then and there?"

Harry shrugged, obviously coming up short for an answer. "I don't know," he said. "The thought didn't occur to me at the time. I guess I. . . wasn't thinking properly."

Ginny sniffed back again tear as she let out of a weak laugh. "Oh, Harry, you're so thick at times. . ." she whispered.

Then he pulled her up against him and initiated a kiss even more wild, even more passionate than the last. He fueled their connection with his own longing, with his overflow of love that ached to find another heart and soul in which it belonged. His fingers clutched desperately to the cusps of her shoulders as his palms molded themselves to the exposed skin of her neck. She ran her own hands through his lustrously raven hair and pressed her small frame up against his.

He drew her into his cloak, and together they intensified their passion. The wind whipped through the courtyard, but the more it blew against the two lovers the less it could touch them. It hit their warm bodies like a wave of desire, turned from ice to fire in a single second.

The clock struck the half-hour. They drew away, still holding each other in their arms and grinning warmly at each other. Harry had been right--it was the night of their success. They had waited so long, so patiently, and with such a particular, unmovable yearning, for this very moment, and it had come at last.

For a long time they didn't speak. Harry drew her into an embrace, and they clung tightly to each other, savoring the warmth that flowed endlessly between their two bodies. They thought of nothing--not the wind, not the chilling night, not of school or homework, not of their friends and teachers, and not of the rest of their lives--nothing but each other.

Then Harry let out a low laugh. Ginny pulled away to look him in the eye. "What is it?" she said, her lips turning upward in a smile.

"I just realized--The Conspirators went to so much work to make their magazine when you and Hermione made seven issues in under three weeks. How did you do it?"

"I came up with the idea," Ginny said proudly, "when we were thinking of a way to get back at Goyle one morning after he stared us down the entire time at breakfast. It wasn't the first time, see, that he had done it. So we decided to make The Scarlett Letter. We borrowed some of Fred and George's old porn magazines and pasted up our own magazine. Ha, The Conspirators went to the trouble of getting their copies printed and published when Hermione simply used some wisely-chosen words and a very strong duplication spell. After Lucius's exposure, Draco got rid of the magazines for us by dumping them in his father's house."

"Were you ever worried that the other girls would cause too much competition for Scarlett?" Harry asked, deeply amused.

"Maybe a little," Ginny said. "Anyhow, we couldn't have them cluttering Scarlett's playing field, so we fabricated a letter from Lavender's mum and sent it to McGonagall at the time of the photo shoot. Gosh, it was hilarious when she came bursting into Hermione's room to deliver the letter! Especially when she ran off to the Room of Requirement afterwards!"

"Ah, I have such a smart girlfriend," Harry said, savoring the taste of the last word on his tongue. "Not only did you teach Goyle and his friends a well-deserved lesson, but you set all of Hogwarts on the straight-and-narrow and got a million blackmail pictures in the process!"

Ginny laughed. "You're so wicked sometimes!" she said sweetly. "That last comment was almost Slytherin of you."

Whether he was getting tired of the conversation or whether he simply wanted to move on to other things, Harry chose not to answer her. Instead, he drew her into another kiss. They sunk to the ground against the fountain as their souls connected once more in a glorious melody of euphoria. And once again they forgot of everything around them as they enjoyed each other's company for a very long time.

~~~~~

From behind the grand clock of Hogwarts Dumbledore looked down on the pair as a smile spread across his face. "It's such a relief that both parts of Scarlett have found their love at last," he remarked to the ticking cogs. "It's exactly what our resident porn star deserves, after everything she has done for our school."

He chuckled at the couple that sat by the fountain, kissing passionately. "Ah, Miss Weasley and Mr. Potter, I just love these happy endings," he said in content. "And, my, what a to-do list you two have cut out for yourselves!"

He looked down at a copy of The Scarlett Letter he had clutched in his gnarled hand. Laughing softly, he starting sucking on a Bertie Bott's Every-Flavored Condom as he headed back up to his office.

**********

A note left on Hermione's pillow much later that night:

The best benefit of all: I GOT HARRY!!

The End

A/N: Whee, I finished posting this story! I've had so much fun with it, but (sadly) all good things must come to an end. This story is twice the length that I originally planned, and I put so much more into it than I expected. But end it did. Though I'm a bit sad about it, I'm quite pleased with the feedback I've gotten. Thank you all you wonderful readers! And thanks even more to my wonderful reviewers!

If you'll remember, this fanfic was based off a real story. Two people I know very well (who are represented in this story by Hermione and Ginny) were getting very annoyed and frustrated at the advances of a certain boy named. . . well, I don't believe some of my sites want me to mention real people, so I won't, but this boy became the framework for Goyle. So "Hermione" and "Ginny" set up an Internet account of a porn star named Scarlett, all the meanwhile keeping in mind their goal of teaching "Goyle" a valuable lesson.

Wouldn't you know, a whole herd of young men found Scarlett (and young women, too; the real Scarlett claimed to be bi, but that point didn't make it into my story), and she became quite a hit. "Ginny" and "Hermione" didn't even have to lure "Goyle" to Scarlett's page--"Goyle" found it all on his own.

And so, while carrying on outrageous flirtation with all her other correspondences, Scarlett slowly led "Goyle" on. It was sort of scary how much of their relationship made it into this story without me turning to wild invention. The standup really happened (except at a movie theater, not The Three Broomsticks). "Goyle" making out with "Pansy" really happened, as did Scarlett's resulting feelings of betrayal.

In the end (around the time when "Goyle" was getting dangerously close to finding out what was going on), "Hermione" and "Ginny" quit the charade. They originally planned to reveal Scarlett to be an old, fat man. Instead they found a picture of a Sumo-sized woman wearing a string bikini. I personally liked the idea of the old, fat man better, and Lucius Malfoy took the blame in my story.

I made the ending a lot more neat in my story than it was in real life. To tell the truth, the real events were a wee bit anti-climactic, especially since "Goyle" found out what exactly was going on. The dénouement of the real story happened with the closing of Scarlett's account, but it cropped up again in related events that aren't remotely funny and therefore don't belong in a comedy, nor enough in and of themselves to make another full story.

The best part of this whole incident was that I got to observe this entire episode from start to finish, quite a bit of it over the shoulders of "Hermione" and "Ginny." My life has never before presented anything as story-worthy as this. I am deeply indebted to the real "Hermione" and "Ginny" for their wonderful idea. I wish I could mention the both of them by name, but it wouldn't be a good idea, even if these fanfiction sites did approve of including real-life people in my stories! But I can't thank them enough, really I can't!

So if you thought I was a pervert for writing some of the stuff I did, then in my defense I reply, "It was based off true events! Didn't you read the summary?" But wait. . . I came up with the AIDS rumor. I came up with my pervy version of Dumbledore. I came up with the nude photos (the site that Scarlett posted at didn't allow nudity in their pics) and the nude photo shoot. I came up with the whole Conspiracy (which wouldn't have worked if my version of Scarlett had been bi). I came up with the fan club. I came up with the measurement games in the staff room. I came up with all the extra romance (H/G, Hr/R, D/P, P/Goyle, Crabbe/Eloise, Nearly-Headless Nick/Moaning Myrtle, FF/Vector, FF/MM, D/Parvati, Luna/her stud, etc. etc.).

Wow. I guess I am a pervert after all. Er, sorry? :D

See this is exactly what would happen if I wrote my memoirs. A lot would be based on fact, but I'd throw so many extra story lines in that it could easily pass for fiction. I'd do exactly what James Frey did with his book A Million Little Pieces, only much more so! So (for now) I'm sticking to fiction.

As for stories from me in the future? I promise to write more. I have a whole list of one-shots for you all to read, and I'll keep writing more. I also want to experiment with the novella form (I've done short stories and novels, but not any real novellas). So expect to see more from me in the future! Until then, tata!

Islander

P.S. Now would be a good time to review. :D