Harry Potter and the Loss of Innocence

Chapter Seven: The Boy Who Made
A Bloody Fool of Himself

I don't want to make this
Harder than it already is.
This is how it has to be
~Simple Plan: I Won't Be There

Harry spent the last two weeks lazing around the Burrow. Remus and Tonks visited often and Remus would make time to talk to Harry about his parents. The girls and Tonks often disappeared for long periods of time. When they did return, they were always smiling. Harry enjoyed these weeks immensely because he got to hang out with his friends like a normal teenager.

He managed to gain some much-needed weight and his muscles started to show slightly. He was proud of his muscles. He had always been beaten up due to his slight stature. Now, he'd be able to stand a chance in a fight.

The downside of those two weeks was the nightmares. Though he didn't have them every night, they didn't let him sleep peacefully more than two nights in a row. Ron had started to grumble the past few days. Harry felt horrible about interrupting Ron's sleep, but Ron refused to accept any apologies. Ron told Harry that he'd be there for Harry whenever Harry needed him, even if it meant waking up every other night. Harry would then wonder if Ron would stick at his side if he knew about the Prophecy.

When any thoughts of the Prophecy, Sirius, or Dumbledore intruded, Harry would change his train of thought and think about something else, anything else. The Prophecy scared him. Thoughts of Sirius left him feeling deserted. And Dumbledore made him angry. Instead, he thought about the stories Remus had told him. Or he would try to figure out how to ask Ginny out. Both were dangerous topics also, but Harry preferred them to thinking about the first three.

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Soon, September first arrived and Mrs. Weasley woke them all early. She had already made sure that everyone had packed everything they needed the night before. The normal chaos of leaving with the Weasley's was lacking this year. With only four students and no younger children it was easy to get everyone ready and out the door. They took a Portkey to number twelve Grimmauld Place. Harry studied his feet carefully once they arrived. He wasn't happy to be back in this house. This building had served as Sirius' last prison. He absolutely hated to be in the house that reminded him so vividly of Sirius.

A few minutes later and they were all outside, walking to King's Cross Station. They still had half an hour until the train left so they were in no rush. They walked through the boundary and onto Platform 9 ¾. The crimson Hogwarts Express was steaming on the tracks, filling slowly with students. Their group slowly headed to a wall where they chatted and talked until they had to leave.

Harry was still thinking about Sirius. He started a conversation with Remus, but couldn't keep his concentration on it. His mind kept straying back to last year. Sirius had come with them as a great big shaggy dog that had been his Animagus form. He had run along the side of the train until he couldn't any longer. And his mind wandered to the memories of that house; Harry hated that house.

Mrs. Weasley noticed some dirt on Ron's face and started to clean it off. The twins and Ginny started laughing at him; even Hermione was giggling. But at least she was trying to get Molly to stop, whereas Ginny and the twins were encouraging her.

Remus was still talking to Harry, but he wasn't really listening. He was thinking about last year, glancing around the platform. He noticed a girl he had never seen before standing in the gateway. She was staring at them and she blushed at being caught. He started to smile at her however, at that moment Narcissa Malfoy stepped through the gateway. She grabbed the girl's arm and whispered something in her ear. The girl nodded submissively, but violently pulled out of the woman's grasp. That's great, we have another Malfoy now, Harry thought to himself sarcastically.

"Harry, are you even listening to me?" Remus asked, noticing the scowl on his face. Surely Harry wasn't scowling because they were talking about his Quidditch captaincy.

"No, sorry," Harry apologized. He had no idea what Remus had been talking about. "What were you saying?"

"Nothing important enough to repeat," Remus answered tiredly. Harry had started becoming extremely vacant at times. At those instances it seemed that he wasn't even living in the world around him. "What were you thinking about?" he asked trying to figure the boy out.

"Sirius." Harry glanced at his shoes. He didn't want to talk about him here on the platform.

"Oh, he came with us to drop you all off last year, didn't he?" Remus asked, trying to get Harry to talk about his Godfather.

"Yeah."

"Harry, you really shouldn't bottle it all up," Remus chided him. Harry heard the rebuke in the statement and felt his temper rise. Why did they always tell him what he should and shouldn't do?

"I know," he answered, trying not to lose his temper.

"But, Harry, the longer you wait to talk about it, the more violent your anger and grief becomes." Harry felt his patience snap. Why did they always have to do that?

"Yeah, whatever!" Harry looked at his watch. "It's almost eleven. We should board the train," Harry said angrily and pushed away through the crowd.

"Mr. Potter, where do you think you're going?" Mrs. Weasley asked indigently.

"It's time to board," Harry told her logically.

"Are you not going to say goodbye to everyone?" Harry looked at her surprised. It hadn't even occurred to him to say bye. He was used to just disappearing from the Dursleys or running to catch the train with the other Weasleys. Molly noticed the surprised look and once again cursed the Dursleys.

"I'm sorry. Bye Fred, George." He shook their hands knowing he would see them on the first Hogsmeade trip. He turned toward Remus and silently apologized to him with his eyes. "It was nice spending time with you, Remus. Thanks for everything Mrs. Weasley." Harry walked over and gave her a hug. "I really appreciated everything."

"No problem, Harry. Come back for Christmas this year, won't you?" Molly was beside herself. That was the first hug Harry had given her.

"Of course." The train whistled, signaling to everyone that it was nearly time to leave. Those going to Hogwarts and hadn't boarded yet, ran to the train and jumped on just as it started to pull out.

"Wow, that was close!" Ron gasped. "Get a compartment for us, won't you two. We have to go to the Prefect's meeting. See you later." Ron and Hermione started to walk towards the front of the train.

"C'mon, let's go, Harry." Ginny started looking in compartments and Harry followed after her. They only found one with enough seats for the four of them, but the new girl from the platform was in it.

"I don't want to sit in there with her," Harry said with some bite.

"And why not, Harry?" Ginny asked surprised at the amount of venom in his voice.

"'Cause she came with the Malfoys, Gin, and I don't want to deal with a Malfoy right now," he answered tiredly. He ran his fingers through his hair distractedly. Ginny had learnt to recognize that as a sign of weariness or deep thinking for Harry. She wondered which it was this time.

"There aren't any other compartments, Harry. We'll have to put up with her."

"Fine, then let's get this over with," Harry said angrily. He slid the door open and glared at the girl. She had long white blond hair just like Draco's, but her eyes were a beautiful honey brown color. Harry took a deep breath and said quickly, "Look, I know you came with the Malfoys and so must absolutely hate me and my friends, but there isn't anywhere else to sit, so we're going to have to deal with one another." Ginny entered and stood right behind him.

The girl looked at him confused. "Tell me again why I have to hate you, I don't even know who you are," the girl asked. Harry could tell that she was annoyed by the tone of her voice.

"You came with Malfoys, so you must be a friend of theirs. Any friend of theirs is a supporter of Voldemort and because of that you must want me dead. I'm the reason Voldemort fell the first time and I'm the reason why Lucius is in prison."

"What?" The girl must be really slow. How clearer could he get?

"Do I have to spell it out? You support Voldemort and I'm Harry Potter, the-bloody-boy-who-lived! You all want me dead! Are you really that dense or something?" Harry inquired. He wanted this conversation to end; so that he could start to ignore her. Ginny reached over and put a hand on his arm. He felt his whole body relax; but the girl seemed to find insult in what he had just said.

"So, just because I happened to come with my only living relatives, I'm evil, twisted, and a follower of the idiot Voldemort?" she yelled at them in a strange accent.

"You're not from around here, you sound funny," Ginny stated calmly.

"No, I was born in London, but my family moved to the States when I was a month old, and I only moved back because the idiot that I'm supposedly serving killed my parents," the girl retorted irritated. "Now do you have anything else you want to say or do you just want to continue with your insulting frenzy?"

Harry realized that he had made a huge mistake and sank down into a seat across from her. "I'm sorry, I just assumed..."

"Yes, well, do you know what assuming does?" Harry shook his head. "It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me.'" Ginny started to laugh and Harry joined her. The girl smiled at them and it was genuine.

"I'm very sorry. Let's start over. My name is Ginny and this is Harry, the-bloody-boy-who-just-made-a-fool-of-himself. He's going to apologize the entire way to Hogwarts, so just learn to ignore him. It's kinda cute, but it get's old really quickly." Harry reached over and punched her in the arm. "That didn't hurt, you're such a wimp." And with that she punched him back.

"Ow! That hurt Gin," he teased back. "I'm going to tell your brother on you."

"Tattletale!"

"Yes I am and proud of it!" Harry turned back to the girl that was watching them with a smile. "So, I am sorry. I just don't get along with Draco..."

"Understatement of the year," Ginny mumbled.

"Shut it. And when I saw that you arrived with them, I misjudged you. If I would have thought it through, I would have realized you'd be sitting with him now, instead of here all by yourself." Harry stopped and looked at her. "So you're related to them. And I thought my aunt, uncle, and cousin were bad."

"Yeah, Lucius was my mom's brother," she explained wearily, "and so Narcissa is my aunt and Draco my cousin. It sucks living with them. I was supposed to live with my best friend's family, but they couldn't find my parents' will, so I ended up here."

"That sucks," Ginny said. "The summer must have been bad."

"Yeah," she said carefully. After a moment's pause she asked, "Who was that boy being attacked by his mom near you?"

"What? Oh, Ron!" Harry started to smile. "That was Ron, Ginny's brother and my best mate. The bushy haired girl was Hermione, my other best mate. And the twins, I'm sure you noticed them." She nodded. "Well, they're Fred and George, Ron and Ginny's older brothers. There're also three others, but Ginny's the youngest. Ron, Hermione, and I will be sixth years this year and Ginny will be a fifth year."

"I am a fifth year, thank you very much." Ginny was more than a little sore at being younger than the other three. "Did you ever say your name?"

"No, but it's Sephra Carrigan." She held out her hand and shook both Harry's and Ginny's. "I'm a sixth year. I'm glad to meet both of you."

"Yeah, and I'm really sorry about that," Harry mumbled again.

"Harry, shut it. You called Voldemort, Voldemort. Why?" Ginny asked Sephra curiously.

"I'm not sure. My parents called him that and in the States, we um...." She seemed a little embarrassed for what she was about to say, but Harry and Ginny nodded at her encouragingly. "We make fun of the British for calling him 'You-Know-Who'. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Ginny replied quietly. "It is really stupid." Harry rolled his eyes; as if it wasn't just this summer that Ginny started to use his name. Ginny caught him and glared at him while she was talking. "The only one from our group that calls him that is Ron. He's a bigger wimp than Harry, so you'll have to be extremely patient when dealing with him." The door to the compartment opened and Ron and Hermione stepped in. "Speaking of the devil, this is Ron and this is Hermione," she said, pointing to each in turn.

"What are you doing sitting with her?" Ron asked rudely, glaring at Sephra. "She came with Malfoy."

"Thanks for telling me something I already knew, Ron," Ginny hissed at him. "It's not her fault she came with them, just like it wasn't your fault Mum felt compelled to clean your face." Ron turned his glare towards his sister, but she just laughed at him along with Harry and Hermione and, naturally, caused his ears to turn a little pink.

"Why did you come with them?" Hermione asked through her laughter.

"I live with them," was all Sephra said.

"Why do you live with them? I sure wouldn't want to if I had a choice," Hermione pushed curiously. Sephra looked at the floor of the train.

"Because."

"Because why?" Hermione asked again.

"Why did you call yourself 'the-bloody-boy-who-lived' earlier?" Sephra asked Harry obviously trying to change the subject. The four just stared at her. "I'm basically from the States, remember? I didn't catch what your name was other than Harry."

"He's Harry Potter," Ron said, staring at her as if three horns had just sprouted from her head.

"Oh, the baby who beat Voldemort?" Harry just stared at the girl, who spoke about his parents' death so frankly. "I'm sorry. I've just learnt it as a fact in World History. I'm so sorry, that was rude. Now I'm going to apologize the whole way to Hogwarts," she added with a slight laugh.

"That's alright. It's kind of nice meeting someone who didn't know who I am, who didn't look at my scar first," Harry said to her. And it was nice that she didn't try and sneak a peak at the lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Not to mention, extremely odd.

"I'm sorry though. I should have known better. I mean, my parents still get the London Daily Prophet and they told me about England during his Reign of Terror. That was stupid of me. Sorry."

"How about this? Because you both are going to be apologizing to each other the whole way, let's just call it even. Deal?" Ginny asked glancing at them both.

"Fine," Harry replied and Sephra nodded, but she was still blushing. He remembered her saying something about the Malfoys being her only relatives. Yet it sounded as if they were alive. Maybe he had just heard her wrong? "Why do you live with the Malfoys? I mean, you said earlier that you should be living with friends and that you live with your only living relatives. But you've made it sound as if your parents are alive."

Sephra turned her head away from them and Harry thought he saw tears on her face.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?" Why did he always make girls cry?

"No, no. It's just that my parents died this summer. I really haven't coped with it yet, ya know. And.... Oh! I'm sorry." The tears were falling freely down her face.

"No, I'm sorry." Harry looked quickly at Ginny. He didn't want her mad at him; he was close to having the guts to ask her out. "We're even again. No more sorry's, I don't want Ginny mad at me."

"What about me, mate? It gets on my nerves too," Ron said to Harry.

"Yeah, but she hits harder." Ron took offence at Harry's words and punched his arm. "Like I said, she hits harder."

"Would you two stop fighting? It's starting to get really old. If you don't mind me asking, how did they die?" Hermione asked Sephra politely.

"They were killed. Murdered by Voldemort." Ron and Hermione looked at her oddly. They weren't used to strangers using his name. "It isn't such a big deal in the States. Anyways, they died while I was at my best friend's house and I didn't know 'til the Aurors came to tell me. I'm living with the Malfoys only because they couldn't find my parents' will."

"Do you play Quidditch?" Ginny asked to change the subject.

"Yeah, my dad taught me and my brother when we were little and I played on the intramural team."

"You have a brother?" Ron asked perplexed. "Where is he? Why isn't he sitting with you? Why didn't he arrive...? Ow, Hermione, that hurt!" Hermione, realizing that it wasn't a good topic, had stomped on Ron's foot.

"He died last summer. The Aurors still don't know how or why he died," Sephra said shortly. Harry noticed even more tears fill her eyes.

"What position do you play?" Harry asked trying to change the subject to safer ground.

"Seeker," she said grabbing a hold of the new topic. "I love it."

"Harry's the Gryffindor Seeker," Ron informed her.

"You never know, Ron," Harry laughed out, "the captain might not like my style of flying."

"That's just stupid, Harry," Ginny rebuked him.

"Harry's Gryffindor captain," Hermione told the confused girl. "Of course he'll be the Seeker."

"I'm the co-captain, Hermione," Harry said modestly. "Anyways, I'm just glad to be playing again."

"You're so certain that your ban will be lifted," came the sneering voice of Draco Malfoy from the open door. Harry looked up to see Draco's sneer plastered on his face with his two bodyguards, Goyle and Crabbe, at his side. "I am positive that it was a life ban."

"And I'm positive that none of Umbridge's "changes" will be upheld," Hermione retorted.

"If you say so, mudblood," he said with a smirk. Ron nearly jumped at the boy, but Hermione held him down.

"Shut up, Draco," Sephra snapped at her cousin.

"And why should I?" he asked fingering his wand delicately. Harry noticed as Sephra swallowed slightly.

"Because, I'll tell everyone what Sephra just finished telling us," Harry responded. "That you still sleep with a teddy bear."

"I do not!" Draco yelled at Harry defensively.

"A little guilty there, Draco?" Ron asked, enjoying Draco's discomfort.

"I am not," Draco said panicking. "If that damn girl has been lying to you, I'll need to deal with her!" he said pulling his wand out and pointing it at her. Harry beat Draco to the draw and had his wand under Draco's throat.

"What's going on here, dears?" a kind voice asked. Harry saw that it belonged to the witch who pushed the lunch cart.

"Nothing, ma'am," Sephra answered quickly. Draco and his cronies stalked down the hall as Harry and his friends burst into raucous laughter. Harry bought everyone lunch. They talked idly about this and that. Sephra had a lot of questions and they were more than willing to answer them.

"So what's the transfiguration teacher like?" Sephra asked curiously. "That's my second favorite class."

"Professor McGonagall, well, she's strict," Ginny answered. "But fair. She doesn't treat you any different if you're a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin."

"Unlike some," Harry muttered under his breath. Sephra gave him a quizzical glance. "Professor Snape, head of the Slytherin house, is a biased git."

"And that's putting it nicely," Ron told her. "I wouldn't have used those words."

"What does he teach?" she asked them.

"Potions," Hermione told her simply.

"Oh, no," Sephra said softly. "That's my favorite class."

"Won't be for long," Ron said pessimistically.

Harry turned the conversation away from Snape. He didn't really feel like talking about the man he blamed for part of Sirius' death. Why hadn't Snape taught him Occulmency properly or at least showed some recognition back in Umbridge's office?

"What house do you want to be in?" he asked.

"I don't know," Sephra said thoughtfully. "My parents were both in Slytherin and they turned out all right. But I don't want to be in the same house as Draco."

"You could be a Gryffindor," Hermione offered. "We're all Gryffindors here and you fit in nicely."

"I don't know," Sephra replied with a shrug. "I'll just wait to see what happens.

They talked about all of the different Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers they had had over the years. Sephra got a kick out of Professor Lockhart and sympathized with them over Umbridge's stupidity. The conversation wandered on from there and the afternoon started to slip towards evening.

At one point, the bracelet Sephra was wearing caught Ginny's eyes. "That's beautiful!"

"Thanks. My mum gave it to me for my fifteenth birthday," she explained. Sephra let Ginny look at it and Harry peered over Ginny's shoulder. It was a simple chain with large silver links. The chain had to be old, because it was worn and tarnished in several places. There were several charms on it, some obviously new and others obviously old. There was one of a Snitch with outstretched wings and another of a quodball. Another said "peace" over a strange multi-colored symbol and yet another said "princess" in pink glittering script. The last one Harry could see was in the shape of a crown and had a half white, half red rose in its center.

"I like that one the best," Ginny said pointing to a muggle charm of a red sports car. "I want dad to get a car like that."

"My best friend, Kelsey, gave that one to me," Sephra told them quietly. "We both wanted red convertibles. We planned to cruise the Washington coast in them. Guess that won't be happening."

"Which charms did your mum give you?" Hermione asked politely.

"These ones," she said pointing to the sport related ones and the crown, along with several others. "My dad gave me the princess one, 'cause he said I was his princess." She slipped into deep thought. Harry turned to look out the window and was surprised to see how close they were to Hogwarts.

"It'll be another hour, I'd guess," he told the group. Ron got out the chessboard and he proceeded to trounce Harry at a game.

"You don't play very good," Sephra remarked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I know," Harry grumbled. "You wouldn't believe how many times I get that. Even I'm not sure how often."

"Do you want to play?" Ron asked her. Sephra nodded and they started a fierce game. They hadn't finished their game by the time the Hogwarts Express arrived at the Hogsmeade station. They slipped into their robes and headed off the train. Harry was immensely glad to be back.