Something Kinda Funny

Chapter 6: Running Through My Head

"Insanity - a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."

- R. D. Lang

Pregnant men are not fun to be around - especially pregnant Malfoy men. You want to talk mood swings? Draco can go from nice to evil in 0.5 seconds. Little comments set him off as easily as big ones. The first time I saw him without the charms he wears to hide his size I happened to make a comment comparing him to a certain... marine mammal and he lashed out against me, and then Voldemort, and then men in general.

I waited until he had left the room, and I'd stopped the bleeding to start laughing.

I don't see how other students haven't noticed the changes in him and the teachers. The teachers - especially the female ones - are becoming much kinder to him, and I caught him discussing baby clothes with McGonagall the other day. In class he sits noticeably further away from the desk then he did before and - even though he was pretty moody before - he's been extremely vicious to almost everyone of late. His eating habits... ugh, don't even get me started. He has craving for the weirdest things at the weirdest times. Once he came and woke me up at four a.m. so I could go get him some pickles and watermelon from the kitchen!

And the whole time I'm thinking, 'why on Earth did I ever agree to this.' But really, I know the answer. It's because I do want a family and having a daughter of my own is so very tempting.

Besides, Draco and I are getting on better now.

XoX

Harry, I'm starting to get used to calling him that, and I are getting on better now. I attribute it to him knowing his place now. He does what I tell him to do and I don't get mad.

Speaking of getting - or going as the case may be - mad, mood swings are fun. One comment about how I eat or my size and I explode! Its hilarious watching Potter - dammit, Harry - trying to calm me down. He'll do practically anything for me when it gets to that point. Ah, the possibilities.

Not in that way of course. Honestly, heaven forbid anyone thinking we're in this together for any other reason then being victims of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's evil plans.

Because we're not.

Really.

Oh, stop looking at me like that you cretin. So what if I've noticed Potter's eyes on occasion? They are stunning - bloody hell, I did not just say that - and I blame it on being pregnant.

You can do that when you are pregnant you know, blame things on it. When I don't get my homework done on time I tell the teacher that I wasn't feeling well because of the awful ordeal I'm going through, assure them I want a daughter, and voila. No detention. I don't thing anyone's caught on to my little scheme yet, everyone seems so focused on keeping me happy they forget I'm a Malfoy and a Slytherin.

It's great; if I'd known the perks of being pregnant I'd of let Potter have his way with me sooner.

I blame that last thought on being pregnant as well.

Now go away, you bother me.