Something Kinda Funny

Chapter 7: Every Morning

"Beware of your habits. The better they are the more surely they will be your undoing."
- Holbrook Jackson, Platitudes in the Making

I lay sprawled out on the couch waiting for Draco to finish getting ready so we could go down for breakfast as I did every morning. Professor Dumbledore had told the school that to 'improve house relations' Draco and I had been paired together in an experimental new system. The reason? Draco was very obviously the Slytherin king and I... well I was Harry Potter, the Gryffindor Golden Boy as Draco so often says.

Just as I was preparing to roll off the couch and drag Draco away from the mirrors in our joint bathroom he waddled out.

"Potter," he snapped, "get your arse out of that chair. I'm hungry," and then continued on his way out the door.

Really, I know it's because he's pregnant but it's still damned annoying to be yelled at for every other move you make. Sometimes I wonder about Draco's future wife or husband and find myself pitying them.

Or wanting to tear them to shreds - either sounds like a good option right now.

"Didn't you hear me Potter? Get off your fat arse and help me!"

I barely managed to refrain from making a comment about which on of us really had the 'fat arse' and dragged myself from the couch, stretching as I did so to get the kinks out of my back. "Fine Draco, where are your books? I'll carry them for you."

He gestured behind him and I took that as permission to go into his room and gather up his school things, it was one of the tasks I had to do for him now. His supplies beyond his wand and a book or two wee much to heavy for him to be carrying around in his condition, originally I hadn't believed his excuse but then we'd visited Madame Pomfrey and she'd affirmed it.

Draco's room was nice - almost exactly the same as mine, but with a heck of a lot more black in the theme. His books lay piled on his bed with what looked like Hermione's idea of 'light reading' material.

I read the title of one as I weeded through them for his textbooks. The Veela Enigma by Jennavere: An in-depth look at the mating habits of male Veela

Why on Earth would he need to know that? I thought, tossing it towards his pillow. But, curiosity killed the cat and the symbol of Gryffindor is a lion.

The Fay Ones by Keyvie Snape; I shuddered and tossed it towards the other book. Anything written by a relative of Snape's had to be evil. Alvatas by Tinanit Enozym; it was another book on mating habits and the like by the look of it. I'd always thought that Malfoy was in Care of Magical Creatures because it was an easy course, but looking at what he read in his free time I began to think that maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe it was time for me to change my opinion on Draco yet again.

Draco stomped into the room, grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the main door. "Let's go! I need to eat!"

Maybe not.

XoX

Holy shit.

Potter was hot.

No wait... Harry was hot.

I watched as he stretched languidly, arching his back and exposing a touch of smooth, pale skin. He made a humming noise in the back of his throat and it took all my self control not to jump him.

Not that I'm in any condition to jump anybody, fat as I am right now.

He asked me a question and I gestured vaguely behind me, hoping he'd get the answer he was looking for out of that while I replayed the vision he made while stretching over and over again in my head.

Mmm...

Which reminded me that I was hungry.

I spun on my heel and walked as fast as I could into my room, where I vaguely remembered seeing him going. "Let's go!" I cried, walking into the room and grabbing his arm, "I need to eat!"

XoX

The first day Draco and I had walked into the Great Hall together and ripple of surprise and shock had gone through all four tables, now they ignored it as a perfectly natural occurrence.

"It's my turn to sit where I want," I told Draco firmly, knowing that in the morning 'turns' made absolutely no difference to him.

"Don't care. Want food." And with that the moody bastard walked as smoothly as he could over to the Slytherin table and sat down beside Goyle, making sure there was enough room for me to sit down beside him.

By Draco Malfoy standards the action could be considered sweet and I chose to see it in that light, ignoring the nagging voice in my head that was telling me that the only reason he'd saved me a spot was because he wanted his textbooks.

I sat down beside him and quietly ate breakfast while Draco took control of his court again, we'd eaten at the Gryffindor table the night before and it seemed as though Zabini and Knott had staged a revolt while Draco was otherwise occupied.

"I'm telling you Zabini," Draco hissed, gesturing to him with a half-eaten cinnamon roll smothered in yogurt, "if I hear the slightest hint of another revolution from you you'll be in so much trouble you'll wish your mother hadn't carried you to term!"

"Carried me to term?"

"Never been born," I supplied offhandedly, reaching for an orange.

"Stay out of this Potter, I can use whatever analogies I bloody well want to!" Draco snapped.

Rolling my eyes I continued began to eat my orange, I was all but used to Draco's behavior by now and the fuming blonde beside me no longer ruffled my metaphorical feathers. The Slytherins, however, seemed to think I'd done something fantastically brave and were staring at me in a peculiar mix of awe and hate.

"Fuck Potter," Zabini said, eyes wide, "you've got to teach me how to do that sometime!"

I looked at him questioningly, while Draco munched on his second cinnamon bun.

"Do what?"

"Stand up to him like that... it's... it's amazing!"

I had to wonder what rock Zabini'd been under for the last six-and-a-bit years, me standing up to Malfoy wasn't exactly a new thing.

"What rock have you all been under for the last six-and-a-bit years?" Draco asked, snorting into his goblet of milk.

Okay, the word 'freaky' doesn't even begin to describe how I felt about my thoughts being echoed by Draco Malfoy.

Zabini blushed, "I... I need to get to potions."

I turned to Draco and raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged.

We laughed.