Eudice Eusyram: The Multi-Chapter Fic

Gee, golly, gosh, gloriosky, thought Eudice as she stepped out in front of Grindelwald. Here I am, in front of my evil, abusive father for the first time since I was fifteen and a half years old. Grindelwald came up to her.

"Oh, Eudice, I love you madly. Will you come to bed with me?"

"Father, I am not that kind of girl!" said Eudice indignantly.

"You're right, and I respect you for it," he replied an insincere voice because he was evil! "Here, sit here for a minute while I go get some pumpkin juice for us."

Snape came into the room. "What are you doing here, Eusyram?"

"My dad told me to sit here," Eudice replied.

"Perfect," said Snape silkily. "I admire your mind, but I know no one can get out of this. Having you roaming around free like this will prove that your father is smarter than you. I know you won't actually escape and go free because we're the bad guys and we're always overconfident."

"Maybe you shouldn't be so overconfident," Eudice replied, knowing Snape wouldn't listen to her because he was evil.

"Nonsense!" Snape laughed. "We're the bad guys, so we always win! Besides, you should get help. You're no match for him; he's a Dark Lord!"

"Professor Snape, Dark Lords are my specialty," Eudice said a way that displayed her confidence without making her seem at all arrogant (which, of course, she wasn't, because she was perfect.)

"Your wand, please," Grindelwald said suavely as he reentered the room. "We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the professor."

"I am a professor too, you know!" Eudice declared.

"Yes, but you don't have the same class as Professor Snape because you're a good guy," Grindelwald replied.

"That's not true!" Eudice declared. "I'll prove I'm even greater than Snape by fighting you not only without any weapons, but also without any clothes on. That is to make all the boys ogle over me even more and to make all the girls jealous, because I'm so incredibly gorgeous."

"So be it," Grindelwald declared, agreeing to the competition because he was a villain and villains are always overconfident.

Eudice got the whole world to watch them and shamelessly displayed her naked body because she was perfect. Grindelwald had clothes on because he was evil (not to mention very, very ugly.)

"You have met your match," Grindelwald said, pointing his wand and trying not to get distracted by Eudice's incredibly gorgeous body. "Prepare to be--"

Grindelwald never finished that sentence, because Eudice jumped on him and in five seconds she had beaten him up so much he couldn't move. She stood over him with her legs spread out so everyone could see her intimate parts. Grindelwald was so hurt he started to cry and begged for mercy.

"On one condition only," Eudice told him. "You drink a quart of Phreneticus Potion."

Grindelwald did so and suddenly his secret feelings for Uma Thurman were overwhelming. Colin Creevey snapped a few pictures while Grindelwald and Uma had sex and posted them around the castle. When Grindelwald returned to his normal state, he was so embarrassed and humiliated that he moved to Mexico. Eudice took over as ruler of the world because she was perfect and Kofi Annan retired. Everyone lived happily ever after except Grindelwald, who was now living in Mexico, and Snape, who got fired and sent to the South Pole.

"I don't think I could go back!" Ron said happily.