A Godfather's Love (aka The Other Side of the Coin)

3 - Erotic Dream

It was a long time before Sirius managed to tire himself out enough to lie down--and this time, he was able to sleep. Best of all, he had a wonderful dream. It was so perfect, that he knew it was extremely unlikely that it would ever happen in real life. But at the moment, he didn't care; what mattered was that it was happening now--so to speak.

It was the night before Harry's wedding to Ginny. Sirius had been chosen to stand with Harry as a surrogate father since he was James's best friend, and Molly Weasley had been chosen as surrogate mother since she was the closest thing he had ever known to a mother. Too bad the kind of feelings Sirius harboured for Harry were anything but fatherly. As of tomorrow night this time, Harry would be on his honeymoon with Ginny, in her arms, making love to her for the first time.

He had confessed that it seemed like an eternity until they could be together, but once they were, the joy they would share in making love would be well worth the wait. Sirius wished that he would be the one making love to Harry. At the same time, he couldn't wish more for Harry than a long, happy life together with the girl he loved. When Sirius had gone to bed, however, he found himself unable to sleep, no matter what he did--mainly because of the intensity of his arousal at the mere thought of Harry.

His touch, his kiss, the warmth of his body close to his own ... but most of all, picturing the boy moaning and writhing beneath him in ecstasy as he moved inside Harry's delicious tightness, which hugged Sirius's arousal so closely that it nearly drove him mad trying to keep from coming off, even as much as he wanted to. At the same time, he wanted to feel himself inside his godson's sweet body as long as possible ... be able to touch him, kiss him, caress him. The joy he felt upon picturing this made him forget--at least for a while--how wrong it was. All the same, how could it be so when it felt so right?

He had tossed and turned for roughly an hour, so hard he hurt, his face wet with tears of love and loneliness when he heard a soft knock on the door and a beloved voice laced with concern call to him.

"Padfoot? You all right?"

Sirius fought not to come at the mere sound of Harry's sweet voice. He wanted to answer, but he couldn't bring himself to do so, which prompted the door to open and Harry to enter. Sirius forced his eyes open to see Harry standing beside his bed, clad in just a dressing gown, his hair even messier than usual from sleep, although he wore his glasses.

"Sirius? Are you okay? Please answer me."

"I'm ... all right, Harry. Go back to bed. You're getting married tomorrow and need your sleep."

"No, you're not," Harry shot back. "Besides, I'm too keyed up to sleep."

"You have better things to concern yourself with, Harry. I'll manage. I've done it before."

"You're the main thing I'm concerned with right now. You need something," Harry remarked, a knowing note coming into his voice. "Something only I can give you."

Sirius's eyes widened. "How long have you known?"

"Almost from the start. I'm not totally clueless, after all. I've seen the way you look at me, the way you smile at me ..."

"Even so, the way I feel about you ... it's wrong. You're my best friend's son--a friend who was like a brother to me. Because of this, my feelings for you border on incest. For Merlin's sake, how can I possibly feel like this?"

"Love could never be wrong, whatever form it takes," Harry insisted, his voice almost a croon.

"But I can't spoil you for your future wife," Sirius protested.

"Pleasuring you won't change any aspect of my relationship with her. I won't allow it. Besides, after all you've done for me, it's the least I can do for you."

"No, Harry. Save yourself for your bride. She's waited a long time for you."

"Still being stubborn, are you? Well, I think I know a way to make you change your mind." With that, Harry undid the sash on his dressing gown and shrugged it off his shoulders. It dropped it to the floor, revealing his slender, well-built and gloriously naked body -- not to mention his large, deliciously throbbing arousal, which stood up proudly against his flat belly.

Sirius's heart began pounding even harder, transfixed at the impossibly beautiful vision before him. His throat was so dry that it felt like it was stuffed with cotton--and he became even more aroused ... if that was possible. How could anything so perfect possibly be real?

"I'll have the rest of my life with Ginny, but I only have one night with you. Let's make the most of it."

Harry approached the bed, throwing the blankets aside to reveal Sirius's own nudity.

"Now what do you want me to do? For tonight, I'm at your disposal. I'll do anything you wish--and I do mean anything."

Harry situated himself next to Sirius and lifted his face so their eyes met, sparkling green to grey.

Sirius was too dumbstruck to speak or even move, scarcely able to believe this was really happening. How could Harry actually be in bed with him, so gloriously naked, so warm and smelling of soap and English Leather, his beautiful sea-green eyes looking deeply into his own, his perfect, kissable lips so dangerously close to his own? The older man's pulse increased to such proportions that he soon felt as if his heart were literally skipping beats. His arousal was deliciously throbbing and hardening even further, almost to the point of pain.

"We'd better get started; the night's not getting any younger, and we have to get up early to prepare for the wedding."

With that, Harry moved to claim his partner's lips with the warm, sweet softness of his own. The kiss deepened as his tongue gently pried his partner's lips open. An electric shock seemed to pass between them at the contact even as his talented fingers found and began to gently fondle his partner's achingly hard arousal.

"Harry ... oh, God ..." The pleasure of Harry's touch and kiss were almost too much for Sirius to endure.

"Shh ... there's no time for talking. There's only time for love." Harry gently pushed his partner back onto the bed beneath him, beginning to kiss and lick his way down his body. After this, Sirius became totally lost in the joy and ecstasy of this moment, losing all track of time and where he was as Harry made tenderly passionate love to him--then allowed him to return the favour. Sirius's mind was totally blank; he could not think, only feel.

Sirius awoke reluctantly but with a smile on his lips, feeling more energetic than he had in a long time. He even used Hair-Cutting and Depilatory Charms after his shower to make himself more presentable instead of looking so disreputable as he had for so long. He also intended to eat three square meals a day for a change until he wasn't skinny as a bloody rail anymore. Of course, he hadn't had a reason to look good until now, which was the main reason he was doing it. He even felt up to answering Harry's owl post and vowed to give him the best advice he possibly could. Even at that, it was difficult to keep his mind off his incredible dream.

Of course, a dream was one thing, and real life was another. All the same, Sirius liked to think Harry, Ginny, and their friends (namely Ron and Hermione) would accept his feelings, if not his attentions to the boy, romantically speaking. But he couldn't count on it--nor did he dare tell anyone except Moony until they could figure out a way to tell Harry.

In the meantime, he wrote Harry back, giving the best advice he possibly could, hoping it was good enough to help him. His next post would tell the story, one way or the other.

* * * * *

Harry's next owl post came within a week. Sorry to take so long to get back to you, Padfoot, he had apologised. But I've been ... rather occupied, if you know what I mean. Sirius could well surmise the story behind that statement, half-happy, half-sad that his advice had apparently worked. The last time he himself had tried it, he had gotten himself hexed. He knew he was taking a chance by advising Harry as he had, but obviously Ginny had taken it the way his one-time girlfriend should have.

All the same, he knew well from Harry regarding his girl's temper. You didn't fool with a redhead if you were smart--especially if the redhead in question was a witch. It was a cinch that James had had his share of run-ins with Lily--both before and after they were married--and Sirius had been unable to help. Harry had gotten a healthy share of that temper, judging from the episodes the boy had told him about in the course of their correspondence. That was another reason Sirius was somewhat apprehensive at the prospect of telling Harry about his ... unusual feelings for him.

He and Moony were still trying to figure the best way to tell Harry and his friends about Sirius's feelings for his godson. Part of that was figuring the best place to meet with them. They wanted it to be in as private a spot as possible--somewhere they all felt comfortable.

It was getting harder with every passing day not to write Harry and tell him about how he had come to feel toward him. But even as much as Sirius wanted to, he knew he didn't dare. Moony had said to continue the status quo until they could figure how to proceed, and despite his almost irresistible desire to just throw all caution to the winds, Sirius knew Moony was right. Conditions had to be as conducive as possible to both sides' comfort and safety, in more ways than one.

If Rita Skeeter ever got wind of this, neither he nor Harry would ever live it down. It was one thing to be accused of a romantic relationship with a girl, as had happened in Harry's fourth year, quite another to have a secret gay life exposed--especially if said life was with someone formerly regarded as the closest thing to a father that the younger participant, the wizarding world's most famous orphan, had ever known. If only for Harry's sake, Sirius knew he had to keep quiet until Moony said it was all right to speak--and even then, he could only talk under controlled conditions and to certain carefully chosen people.