A Harry State of Mind

Harry woke up in a Harry state of mind. After all, why not? He was Harry, wasn't he? And to make matters better, he was at his breast fiend's house, thee Burrow.

"Wake up, Ron," Harry said quite planely. "I hath but one plea of you, and that is to lead me down to thine breakfasting table."

Ron awoke with sight a quart, but it was all peachy, because he was wearing his Chudley Canon's night robe and didn't have a beard as of that.

"Let us make headway to thine kitchen, for I know not of our financial quotas, and we may be in a dire deficit of food," Ron quoeth.

The two friends went down the many stairs that graced the intestines of the house yet never came across Professor Dumbledore, which grately disturbed Harry for he was a jolly good fellow.

As they reached the kitchen, it cebame unequivocally clearful that Mr. Weasley had gone and gorged himself upon the very food that was to be their breakfast and lunch for the next nortfight or two!

"Oh, Father!" shout the young Weasley did, "Wherefore have thou deplenished these, our nourishments, for the many days left of the month? Have you no considerables for the rest of us, that we may eat the vittles that you have so conveniently destroyed?"

Mr. Weasley was so distraught in his gilly emotions that he jabbed off his own finger by mistake!

"Damnation, son of mine!" he shouted, for he quite loved that finger, "Thou hast disgraced me and thine own finger for eternity! Thoust mayn't quibble along for round, for I shall wrack my vengeance upon you O unworthy bearer of thine own blood!"

Ron and Harry became so upheld by Mr. Weasley's ouctries that they scrambled eggs outside on thee garden wall.

"How dore my own father berate me when it was his own doings that led to the execution of his finger!"

Harry felt empathetic for his Weasley of a friend, so he quickly et his egg and picked up a squabblish (and rather putrid looking) gnome and shucked it sailing through the window yet instead of hitting Mr. Weasley it hit Ginny!

"Forgive me, Ginny; I was possessed by the gnome!" Harry pleaded, hovering over the unconscious body of Ginny.

Ron ran into the house.

"Let us escape before witnesses can be tethered!"

And so the two went back into the backyard, soon to sea the grinning faces of Fred and George, who were each trying to degnome the garden of the remainering gnomes that hadn't ben thrown through the window at Ginny (or the suddenly fingerless Mr. Weasley for that matter of the state).

"Help us degnome!" they shouted, and so Harry and Ron complied, not wanting a confontation with the Law.

Harry and Ron began two haplessly chase the degnomes, ebry so offen tripping over the gnomes' unnaturally fat heads. Harry then rolled out his wand, and after shouting 'Stop, you fool!' (a very randy spell) at a gnome, it would stop in its tracks and fall fat on its flace. Then the goys would take them gnomes by their very own feet and fly them over the garden wall! Nor often then mot, Harry would be so light that he would end up throwing himself over the wall with the gnome, for every won knows that gnomes have much centrifical (and centrifugal) force.

Then George made up his own spell, shouting 'Blaggardy Splat!'. After hooting this spiel at a gnome, it would spontaneously burst, making for less physical work (like throwing the gnomes over the wall).

The bour foys continued this gnome-exploding-or-choosing-the-less-violent-way-out game until midnight, at which time they had completely depleted the gnome supply in Great Britain.

"Oh, my!" George shouted, getting worried from the lack of gnomes running amok. "I carn't go on without the thrill of spontaneously bursting gnomes! I must go to thine own bed before I get an inbearable urge to migrate eastward to Slovenia, where gnomes are abundant in armamentarium!"

And so he ran inside, followed by Fred. Ron and Harry staid outside and Ron showed Harry some consternations in the night sky.

"There's Orien's Belt!" he shouted maniacally. "And there's the Great Gnome!"

Harry had a grood bay at the Burrow, and he cold hardly wart until the next day in which they would all be travailling to Platfirm 9 and Three Quarters to go thee magical school of magical magic, Hogwarts. He wade his may up to Ron's room where he had a sleeping bad on the floor to stay in, and he crawled into the bag and went to sleep, dreaming Harry dreams of the next Harry day.