Losers Like Us

"Fearless" (1)

Relevant Intake Information:

Client: Winky

Age: not calculable in human terms, due to cultural differences in calculating time

Race: Magical, House Elf

Intake Date: April 1, 1996

Referred by: Headmaster, Hogwarts School

Principal Informant: Headmaster, Hogwarts School Language: English

Diagnosis:

Axis 1: Major Depressive Disorder; Substance Dependence (alcohol); Enuresis; Encopresis.

Axis 2: Dx[diagnosis] deferred

Axis 3: None reported

Axis 4: Significant recent losses among primary support group. Removal from home. Loss of preferred "job". Rejection by and self-isolation from peers.

Axis 5: 40

Session One: April 1, 1996

Present: Headmaster, Hogwarts School; Ind.

Long-Term Goals: Form therapeutic alliance w/[with] ind[ividual--i.e. patient]. Develop goals for treatment w/ ind.

Session Goals: Develop goals for treatment w/ ind. Assess ind's need and readiness to work on substance dependence issues, as reported by Headmaster.

Sxs[Symptoms]: Headmaster reports: Ind has been abusing alcohol (butterbeer) for prev[ious] 18 mos approximately. Ind consuming approx. 12 bottles per day. Poor hygiene, self-soiling, enuresis, encopresis. Inappropriate language. Trust issues w/ th.

Interventions & Response: Th introduced by Headmaster to ind, who was locked in converted basement pantry "for her own safety", as her peers do not accept filth and were beginning to physically abuse her, by Headmaster's report. Ind presented as covered in bodily waste, became tearful, screaming, not responsive to speech at sight of headmaster, whom she called "lying, kidnapping, murderer", claims he allowed her "master" to be killed. Th made verbal contract w/ ind, against Headmaster's advice: Ind will be supervised by th, will work with th, not harm th in any way or practice magic on th in any way. In return, th will take ind back to her previous home to help her search for family of former master, all of whom are reported deceased by headmaster. "Working w/ th" to be defined as ind will tell th her history. At end of this time, if ind maintains contract, ind free to drink as much as she wants & go where she pleases. During time of contract, ind not to consume any addictive substances, unless expressly given permission by th. If ind finds fam members surviving, ind freed from contract immediately to return to service of family.

Plan: Remove ind to less-restrictive setting as possible. Continue working w/ ind to formulate therapeutic goals. Help ind to reduce depressive sxs as possible.

Personal Process Note, April 1, 1996: Oh, gods, what have I done? Which is pretty much what Albus Dumbledore said to me a second after I said to Winky, "Look, I'll make you a deal." House elves, it seems, are bound to such ancient magic that even the magical humans don't really get all of it. But here's what they do get: bargains are very old magic. And house elves, when they make them, rarely lose them.

"But I drove a hard bargain," I wailed anxiously at the older man. Dumbledore's mouth twisted. "Except," he said, when you forgot to define what Winky's telling you her history would require. Except when you told her that you'd help her return to her previous home and search for family survivors. Do you know how many homes her master's family has owned?"

"Wait," I cut in, mulishly. "Wait. I did only say 'previous home', singular. She only gets to visit one home."

Scowling, Dumbledore said, "I grant you that, Doctor. And I am grateful that you have observed the literal-mindedness of users of old magic. But where is she to stay all this while? You insist on removing her from this place where she has been safe--"

"Safe! Safe? She's covered in her own filth!"

"That is by her own choice."

"She's locked in!"

"House elves are known for 2 things, Doctor Walker: their loyalty to their families and their cleanliness. When Winky became..." the elderly man struggled for words and actually reddened.

"Encopretic," I interjected wryly. To his raised eyebrows, I explained, "It's how my people say that she defecates on herself without known physical or medical cause."

"We KNOW the cause! She's dead drunk most of the time!" By nature, Dumbledore is not given to roaring. I know him well enough to know that he thinks that I am endangered somehow, but he cannot change things, and he does not tolerate helplessness as well as he thinks he does. "House elves will never accept her at this level. Winky has made herself into a living, breathing icon of their worst sins: filth; refusal to serve--in this case, me, as the master of Hogwarts--and a degeneracy that guarantees that she will remain unable to act in a manner that her peers deem appropriate. Beyond these behaviors, the other elves do not know how to cope with Winky's allegations that I am a murderer. Finally, they began to abuse her physically, to try to drive her out. Alas, this was the only way I could find to make her safe." His voice modulates gradually throughout this speech, until he is almost pleading with me at the end.

"Sir," I say at my most respectful, "I feel compelled to tell you that studies have shown that, among Muggles at least, incarceration is far less successful as a treatment for alcoholism and depression than outpatient therapy."

"Gemma," the headmaster spreads his hands in a gesture of helplessness and defeat, "where will you put her? And what will she do to you?"

"We agreed; no magic on me." Where stubbornness is concerned, I am no slacker.

My companion sighs. "On you. On you. What about on other objects that she then sends to harm you?"

My guts clench in sudden, cold fear. "We agreed that she would not harm me in any way..."

"So what if she enchants the fire irons and allows them to harm you? Old magic is literal!"

Now I'm in trouble. I hear the small, whispery chuckle from the sodden heap of filth huddled on the dirty straw in front of us in the cell. At our feet, the smeared lump at the far end of the being rotates slowly amid the grasses, revealing 2 large, batlike ears above 2 enormous brown eyes. Winky has remained silent ever since her scream of triumph when I agreed to our deal. Now the look in her eyes is anything but affectionate. In fact, "sheer cunning" would far better describe that expression. It does not help that she has a squashed tomato, brown and overripe, stuck where her nose should be.

Oh, wait. That is her nose. Suddenly, I am brutally aware that I know next to nothing about her species, even though I have just contracted to practice therapy on one. But I do know therapy. And I know one thing more--indeed, I have formulated this entire insane scheme upon this one precious thing that I know, since Albus first told me about Winky 3 days ago--but I don't know how important it will be. I do know better than to ask Dumbledore, who would still resist my plan.

"She will come home with me, Headmaster." Albus Dumbledore groans again, loudly, and dirty little Winky giggles. Like all my kind, in a jam, I have followed my gut; and now I am praying that my intuition still knows a thing or two.

But how Winky will react is anyone's guess. Nervously, I peer at the elderly wizard next to me. "Sir? Can you put some kind of protection on me? Just in case?"

"Not in deal," squeaks the elf, in her almost unbearably high voice.

"No," intones Dunbledore coldly, "That is not part of the deal. But here is my promise to you, Winky. Harm my Healer, and you will regret the outcome. I do not need to tell you that those who give their lives in service to others are also protected in ways with which we--even house elves--dare not tamper."

My eyebrows shoot up; I cannot help it. Bracing my neck, I stop myself from glancing my curiosity at Albus, lest the elf see that I am not aware of his meaning. Apparently, Albus also has done some planning before this meeting.

"Yeah," I mutter in a feeble attempt to sound like I have some clue as to what we are now discussing. "Just you remember that, Winky."

Session Two: April 1, 1996

Long-Term Goals: Form therapeutic alliance w/[with] ind[ividual--i.e. patient]. Develop goals for treatment w/ ind.

Session Goals: Confront ind w/ home of previous master, as per deal w/ ind. Contain ind's response.

Sxs[Symptoms]: Despite recent history of ind consuming approx. 12 bottles butterbeer per day, ind has been sober since incarceration by Headmaster, 3 weeks previously. Poor hygiene, self-soiling, enuresis, encopresis. Inappropriate language. Trust issues w/ th. Rage. Anger management issues.

Interventions & Response: Th accompanied ind to prev master's vacation home. Ind frantically searched home while th waited outside, at ind's request. Loud screams periodically from interior house. Th approached house when ind silent approx'ly 5 minutes, showed deed of home to ind. Ind screamed incoherently, threw self bodily on stone floor of kitchen, wailed and beat fists on stone, head banging. Th restrained w/ 4-limb restraint appro for young human children. Ind continued screams following 40 mins. When ind too tired to struggle, th worked on gradual release of limbs. Th, ind sat on kitchen floor silently, while ind wept, refused to acknowledge th's presence. After another 60 mins, th rose, filled sink w/ hot, soapy water, threw her soiled outer clothing into water, as ind had smeared waste on clothing. Ind continued to weep on floor. Th offered ind choice as ind's supervisor: Ind to bathe in sink or to sleep outside former master's home. Th explained that ind not allowed to enter home unless clean and in appro house elf attire. Elf removed self to garden. Th gave elf blanket, which elf refused.

Plan: Remove ind to least-restrictive setting as possible. Continue working w/ ind to formulate therapeutic goals. Help ind to reduce depressive sxs as possible.

Journal entry (excerpt), April 1, 1996, 8:45 PM: When I first decided to relocate to Hogsmeade permanently, I bought the only home available, a home nobody else could bear to approach. But as a Muggle-newly-turned-Witch, the name "Bartemius Crouch" meant nothing to me.

My name is on the deed, right after his.

I have kept my end of the deal. Now Winky must keep hers.

Wow, this place stinks like crazy. I think she's out in the front garden. By tomorrow morning, I hope I still have a front garden. Shucks, by tomorrow morning, I hope I'm still alive.

Communication (included in chart April 1, 1996)

[Owl to Augustus Pye, Trainee Healer, St. Mungo's]

Once more need to slurp from muse-inspired springs of your medical wisdom. Can you tell me how one helps a house elf?

Cheers,

Gemma W.

PS. Owl's on me. Return this one or send bill.

Communication (included in chart April 2, 1996)

[Handwritten note by owl]

I love it when you psychological types have to kiss up to us hard-line medical Healers. Heard you've adopted the little dipsomaniac house elf. Frantic scroll to the Boss from AD last night. Well, done, Old Thing; we'll have you in here as a patient yet. Boss and rest of staff are betting on the First Floor, but I have my money on the Fourth, Locked Ward.

No idea what you need, Old Girl, to do the trick here. Isn't that your department? Be aware that the little monsters generally reattach themselves to someone else after their families die out, which has a lot to do with the good cooking at Hogwarts. They are snobbish, though, and generally belong to rich families, maybe because those families cannot run their own mansions without some help?

G'luck.

Gus P.

PS. But your elf failed to get on at the 'Warts, eh?

PPS. Please have someone show you how to use Floo Network.. This owl is a poor excuse for an O'Cedar. We had to stiffen her tail feathers with firewhiskey before sending her back. See you soon, I fear.

Session 3: April 2, 1996--9 AM

Long-Term Goals: Form therapeutic alliance w/[with] ind[ividual--i.e. patient]. Develop sense ind's needs, desires from treatment.

Session Goals: Contain ind's response to loss of family. Help ind discuss needs, desires, possible life plans.

Sxs[Symptoms]: Sober 3 weeks; butterbeer dependence. Poor hygiene, self-soiling, enuresis, encopresis. Inappropriate language. Trust issues w/ th. Rage. Anger management issues.

Interventions & Response: Met ind in garden. Ind screamed at th, accused th of stealing "master's home." Th offered to have contract reviewed by ind, lawyer, reminded ind that contract is human form of bargain and equally binding. Ind screamed, head banged. Th restrained, 4-limb hold. Ind negotiated release, then garden hose attacked th. Th wrestled w/ hose while ind laughed. Th got to spigot, turned hose on, wrestled hose back towards ind. Hose became more aggressive. Th reminded ind that ind not safe attacking Healer. Ind described th as "no Healer; bad Muggle Mudwitch." Th covered nozzle w/ one finger, sprayed ind hard w/ water; ind flew backwards into roses; hose relaxed. Th used water pressure to keep ind on ground, blew off some of ind's coating of filth. Rocks rose from rose border, hovered midair. Ind screaming at rocks. Rocks continued to hover. Th left off spraying ind, turned off water, recoiled hose, told it to "stay." Hose immobile on stand. Th gave ind assortment of tea-towels, pillowcases, told elf to "make yourself decent." Rocks still hovering. Th found rope, firmly tied down hose to stand.

Plan: Remove ind to least-restrictive setting as possible. Continue working w/ ind to formulate therapeutic goals. Help ind to reduce depressive sxs as possible.

Journal entry (excerpt), April 2, 1996; 11 AM

I knew I never should have bought that hose. I never did like it, although dying at its "hands" was not quite what I had expected. And I know she can probably untie any knots I tie. But I feel better knowing the blooming thing is battened down.

What was with those rocks? She must have meant them to hit me. Is that something to do with Albus' warnings to her about hurting healers or something else all together?

Small favors: At least she didn't kill me somehow during the night. Unless she figured that all that shrill keening would do me in.

Gus is right; I have to start thinking this one through like a shrink, because I sure can't figure it out as a Witch. I am so tired of being such a lousy witch. I wouldn't even know how to get the rocks off the ground, let alone use them.

Session 4: April 2, 1996--3 PM

Long-Term Goals: Form therapeutic alliance w/[with] ind[ividual--i.e. patient]. Develop sense ind's needs, desires from treatment.

Session Goals: Contain ind's response to loss of family. Help ind grieve loss of family. Help ind discuss needs, desires, possible life plans.

Sxs[Symptoms]: Sober 3 weeks; butterbeer dependence. Poor hygiene, self-soiling, enuresis, encopresis. Inappropriate language. Trust issues w/ th. Rage. Anger management issues.

Interventions & Response: Met ind in garden. Ind screamed at th, accused th of stealing "master's home." Th ignored ind, clipped various flowers, made into bunch. Ind watched silently as th piled flowers by rear garden wall, around cardboard sheet, covered with plastic, with name of cottage's previous owner on it. Th read short statement by improvised memorial, thanking Crouch family for leaving this wonderful home for th and telling fam[ily] how sorry she [th] is that they died, but promising to care for their home as well as th can. Ind began to shriek that th not worthy of masters' home; th excused herself to Crouch fam for stopping their memorial service and explained to ind that this is how th's people say farewell and show final respect for each other. Th resumed "service" by reading poetry over site. Ind silent. Th asked ind if ind wanted to say anything or add anything to site. Ind replied that she does not perform "bad Muggle Mudwitch" magic. Th planted small white lilac bush start by cardboard, explained that lilac is native to th's home and is her gift to fam for allowing her to have their home. Ind began mumbling, waving fingers at lilac; th advised ind not to steal gift from her dead masters. Ind's mouth dropped open; ind began babbling apologies in direction of cardboard. Sound of rocks hitting ground around garden. Th left ind at memorial.

Plan: Remove ind to least-restrictive setting as possible. Continue working w/ ind to formulate therapeutic goals. Help ind to reduce depressive sxs as possible.

Communication (included in chart April 2, 1996)

[Handwritten note & scroll by owl]

Sending you everything I have on elves and Crouch family.

G'luck.

Gus P.

PS. Please reply, as I have considerable money riding on a bet that you are still breathing as of this post.

PPS. You may be new to this, but you're more underhanded and cunning than you think. Good move on taking her to the old BC place. I had to tell old AD what you had done; he missed it. Well played.

Communication (included in chart April 2, 1996)

[Owl to Augustus Pye, Trainee Healer, St. Mungo's]

Yes, thanks, yes, but what on earth does she WANT??? She's lost her family, she won't bind herself to Hogwarts, thanks to blaming Dumbledore for their deaths...how does one give an 'Ouse Elf what she blooming WANTS???

Cheers,

Gemma W.

PS. Your owl needs Geritol [spurious reference to incomprehensible Americana, sorry, Old Bean] or at least some vities. Returning him to you for bright career in dissection labs. Could you PLEASE tell me how to use the Floo Thingie?

Journal entry (excerpt), April 2, 1996; 11 PM

I now have a 20-foot white lilac tree, gloriously leafed and blooming from root to crown, growing by the rear garden wall. And a miserable, alcoholic house elf sleeping curled up against its roots.

Whatever will I tell Winky when the neighbors ask me to trim off all those extra limbs hanging threateningly over their roof?