Fred and George Live!

Episode 10: Preamble

George: It has been a long time since our last installment. But, we are back with another FRED AND GEORGE LIVE!

Fred: Yes folks we are back and ready to spread the love. But, first we have something very serious and sad to share.

George: Yes. We aren´t going to be doing many more of these Fred and George Live Episodes. But, we hope to make the last few our best.

Fred: So send in your letters, reviews, underwear, and sacrificial animals to [email protected] for our final episodes!

George: Whaaaaa!

Fred: Get a grip man! *smacks George*

George: Sorry.

Fred: Now that we have gotten through that tough part we can start today´s amazing and awe inspiring episode in which we are interviewing someone we have never interviewed before, but whom we know you all want to hear from. Yes, Crookshanks!

George: Welcome to the show Crookshanks!

Crookshanks: Meow.

Hermione: Boys! What are you doing with my cat all dressed up in a suit?

Fred: We are interviewing him! Do you mind?

Hermione: What can he positively have to say?

Crookshanks: Meow.

George: See! You heard for yourself! He very plainly said meow. Now please leave us be.

Hermione: You boys are running out of ideas aren´t you?

George: Yes. *weeps *

Hermione: Oh don´t cry. I am sure you can think of something. How about another auction?

Fred: Not good enough. It´s been done. This time it would need something more spectacular for the readers. Probably involving strippers with flamethrowers and really I don´t think we can afford that.

Hermione: Is that really necessary for an auction?

Fred: No but, wouldn´t that be bloody wicked!

Hermione: Er, sure.

George: Well it´s not like we haven´t been trying. We had the interview with a vampire idea, but that fell through. Lighting issues.

Fred: And we wanted to do the: "Sell Your Siblings to a Needy Country" contest, but that didn´t fly well with mum.

Hermione: I see. How about getting Harry and Ginny together like you promised?

Fred: No can do.

Hermione: Why?

George: They would just sit next to each other and be practically catatonic. Honestly, I don´t know how either of them will ever have children.

Fred: I don´t really want to think about that.

George: But, really they would be so cordial and be all, "What do you want to do honey?" "Oh, what ever you want." "Oh, well can I be on top tonight?" "Only if you really want."

Fred: Please tell me we are not really related.

Hermione: Um, how about MST3king a fanfic story?

Fred: Maybe.

George: Actually, yeah! I bet we could do that!

Fred: Yeah! We are two wild and crazy guys!

George: You´re a genius Hermione!

Hermione: Thanks.

Fred: I´ll go find a fic. *runs off *

George: I wonder what he´ll get.

Fred: I found one! Is a cheesy ficlet on James and Lily.

George: Brilliant!

1977- Winter Break- Seventh Year

James stood on a stool while he was being fitted into a blue formal robe. He had been dragged to Diagon Alley by Lily to go shopping.

George: Uh yeah, dragged, um yeah.

He did need a formal robe for Xenia´s parent´s ball, but still he didn´t see why she asked him. Why not Xenia? Or Imogen? He tried to look on the bright side.

Fred: But it blinded him

At least he got to see Lily try on pretty robes.

Lily came running out of the dressing room, for the third time, in a green silk formal robe, with vines embroidered on the sleeves and hem in black. She looked pretty, but a bit like the Irish flag with her hair so orange, James thought.

George: I bet that´s not all he was thinking about

"So, what about this one?" she asked spinning around.

"I don´t know," he mumbled, "The white one looked better on you."

"Yeah," she sighed, "But I looked like I was getting married."

Fred: Uh, I bet you could say something really funny about that.

George: Yeah.

"Done, Mr. Potter," said the Tailor, "You can step down and change."

Fred: George?

George: Yeah.

Fred: We suck at this.

George: Yes. *weeps *

Fred: We are comedic failures!

Hermione: No you´re not. You just have hit a dry spell.

George: Really?

Hermione: Yes. I am sure something will tickle your fancy.

George: I´ll tickle your fancy baby . . . Where the hell did that come from?

Hermione: I worry about you sometimes.

Fred: You and me both.

George: All right, well, we will think really really really hard. I promise!

Fred: Yes we will make the best episodes of F&G Live ever!

Hermione: That´s the spirit!

Fred: We will pull out all the stops!

George: Harry and Ginny will be together damnit!

Hermione: Yes!

Fred: Auctions of eligible boys and girls of all shapes, sizes, colors, and frenchness will be on display!

George: Nigel will return to be molested even more!

Fred: The moral of stories will not only be that Hermione and Voldie are a bad couple but that Voldie and Dumbledore are as well!

George: Evil snakey men in diaries and the women who love them will stop by!

Fred: Seas will split! Pigs will fly!

George: The lion will lay down with the sheep!

Fred: And strippers will have flamethrowers or my name´s not Alfred Hitchcock.

Hermione: It´s not.

Fred: Never mind! We´ll have a stupendous finale!

F&G: Stay tuned!