Harry Potter & The Daughter of Malfoy

Chapter Three - Travelling

The carriage jolted over another bump and Harry Potter groaned audibly, clutching at his stomach, his face a very Slytherin shade of green as they thundered along the dark country roads.

On the opposite side of the carriage, Lucius Malfoy smirked, his hands resting atop the snake-head of his walking cane.

It was nearly three hours since Malfoy Senior had arrived at Hogwarts in a cloaked carriage, to take the surrogate `mother´ of his next infant home to his wife. To Harry, it seemed like a lot longer.

"I think I´m going to be sick."

Malfoy arched a brow. "You are improving in your whining. I almost felt concerned for you." he paused pensively. "Although, it could have been indigestion." Harry scowled at him. "Stop pulling that ridiculous face, boy. Anyone would think you had never travelled in a carriage before."

"I haven´t!"

"Ah."

Harry wondered if he could actually will himself to puke copiously over Malfoy´s cane, shoes and robes.

"I wouldn´t think that if I were you," Malfoy suggested lazily, as if reading Harry´s malevolent glare that was directed vehemently at Malfoy´s shoes. "After all, we still have six hours of travel left and you would truly hate to be stuck in a box smelling of vomit, wouldn´t you? Stop being childish."

Yes, it was childish, but he was pregnant for goodness´ sake! He was allowed to be petty and malicious and his back was aching a lot and all he wanted was a nice soft bed and a weepie film.

Leaning against the wall of the rocking carriage, he groaned.

He was really turning into a girl.

"Why did it have to be me?" he asked under his breath.

"Because you are a clumsy little pillock who should have been looking where he was going?" Lucius Malfoy suggested helpfully, tracing a finger over the head of his cane, studying it with what looked like a deep fascination.

Harry kicked him in the shin.

"Ow!"

"Ha!"

Lucius glared at him, bending to rub his ankle. "Oh, how very mature of you, Mister Potter," he muttered. "And the old coot at the school believes that you are meant to be the saviour of our world. What are you going to do? Kick Voldemort in the shins until he dies of boredom?"

"Shut up."

"Very eloquent."

Harry settled for the most dignified response he could think of. He stuck his tongue out, folding his arms over his chest and scowling at the man sitting opposite him. "I don´t like you."

"And I suppose that will ruin my deep and passionate secret crush on you, won´t it?"

"Eep?"

Lucius Malfoy smirked. "You flatter yourself, boy."

"At least I don´t play with my wand in public." Lucius looked up from his wand, which he was fondling, then went rather red at Harry´s smirk. He hastily put it back inside his trousers and settled, instead, for toying with his cane.

Leaning forward, Harry looked out of the window at the countryside they were flying through, the four immense grey horses leading the carriage faster than any he had ever seen before.

He had no idea where Malfoy Manor was, only that it was very big and was Lucius Malfoy´s pride and joy.

After his cane and his hair of course.

"Can I ask you something?"

"If I say no, you will irritate me about it for the next six hours, won´t you?"

"Yep."

"Ask, then. I can´t guarantee and answer."

Harry studied the man facing him. It was the first time he had received a remotely civilised word from him, which was rather...strange. Although, nothing in the present circumstances could entirely be considered as normal. "Why did you get a potion to get your wife pregnant?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Going rather red - although that was a minor response to the thought of sex in any way shape or form. No one mentioned just how horny pregnancy would make him feel. - Harry cleared his throat. "Why...er...you...you could have..."

"Spit it out, boy. If you are going to ask a question, I would rather have it out of the way before we reach the manor."

"Whydidn´tyoujusthavesexwithyourwife?"

"You wish to know why I didn´t partake in conjugal relations with my wife?"

Harry blinked at the collection of rather big words. He made a note to buy himself a dictionary and possibly a thesaurus as well, but nodded nonetheless. The big words sounded impressive and accurate.

"Tell me, Mister Potter," Lucius Malfoy laid his cane aside for a moment. "Do you find my wife attractive?"

"Um..."

"Believe me, boy, I wouldn´t kill you for that particular crime," There was an odd, amused gleam in Malfoy´s cool, grey eyes which made Harry feel a combination of wary suspicion and pant-wetting terror. "The hussy has a skill of attracting any man in the vicinity."

"She...er...she´s very beautiful."

"Yes, she is." The mirthful glint was even more pronounced.

Harry was bemused. "So why don´t you just...you know...instead of having all the potions and things made. I mean, she´s gorgeous and everything, so why didn´t you just...do...stuff?"

"I have my reasons."

"Reasons for avoiding shagging a gorgeous woman?"

"Yes."

"What are they?"

"She is...not to my tastes."

"Not to your tastes?"

Harry stared at the man facing him in absolute shock and disbelief. How could she, the radiant Narcissa Malfoy, not be to his tastes when he was married to her? Was he blind? Insane? Barking mad?

He had only seen Narcissa Malfoy once and she was absolutely stunning! Stunning enough to achieve a place in the dreams of all the Gryffindor boys along with Fleur Delacour.

There was a long silence only broken by the clatter of the horses´ hooves on the road beneath the carriage.

"I get it!"

"Is that so?"

"You´re gay!"

Lucius Malfoy´s lips twitched slightly. He almost looked like he was about to start laughing, but he looked down at his cane momentarily and his expression became the cold, emotionless one again. "I´m afraid you couldn´t be more wrong, boy."

"Oh yeah? Then why do you have the poofy clothes? And the long hair? And the ribbons and everything about you! The cane! I mean, how camp can you get?" Harry pointed at him vehemently. "You have to be gay!"

"Maybe I ought to be that way inclined, but I certainly am not," Lucius answered, smirking in a way that suggested he knew something very amusing and that Harry was liable to feel very stupid if he knew it too.

"Then why don´t you...you know your wife?"

"Because, like I said, she isn´t to my tastes."

"And what is your taste?"

"Well, I suppose since you are to live in our household, there are some things you ought to know about us. Things that even Draco is not aware of."

Harry suddenly felt very paranoid. "Oh?"

"You have to understand that Narcissa is incredibly protective of Draco and his sensitive nature."

"Uh huh..." Harry acknowledged sceptically.

Draco and sensitive didn´t belong in the same sentence, in his opinion.

"And," Lucius continued, studying the head of his snake cane. "That my dear wife would no doubt make sure you never walked straight again, should you reveal this secret to anyone, including him."

"All right."

"And you were asking why Narcissa is not to my tastes," Harry nodded slowly. "Call me peculiar, but I do prefer it if the woman that I am to become involved with is actually female."

"Then why isn´t Narcissa..." Malfoy´s smirk widened visibly as Harry went several shades of green at once, clearly beginning to put the pieces together. "Oh my gawd... you have to be bloody joking..."

"I´m afraid not, Mister Potter," Lucius said gleefully. "My wife is, in fact, a man. I would have thought you might wonder why the potion worked on you, a male, when normally only females can get pregnant. We...added some little things and it was just bad luck that it was you who got in the way."

"Yes, but..." Harry mumbled. "But she...she looks..."

"Good enough to shag?" the older man chuckled. "Yes, but now, only you and I know otherwise. She´s is the most convincing transvestite that I have ever had the good fortune to come across."

"Good fortune?" Harry asked weakly.

As if things couldn´t get worse, he was on the way to the house of a transvestite he had... er... dreamed about, in a carriage with `her´ husband, who had a fetish for fondling his wand in public.

"You agree that my wife is beautiful?" Harry nodded vaguely. "So do all the pureblood families, who are - unfortunately - cursed with the faces of pugs. I had to marry to shut my mother up. Given a choice of a transvestite who every man and woman would envy or one of the local girls, who looked like they had run into the side of the manor, face-first, I chose the male."

"Y-you married a man to shut your mother up?"

"And as a favour to an old friend, with whom I have shared nearly twenty years of married life with no one being any the wiser."

"But..."

"Before you ask about sex, such a teenage obsession, had I married one of the pureblood pug-faces, I would have had less conjugal relations than I have in my mask of a marriage to Bob. Bob and I are simply involved in a partnership with no physical interaction involved, although I am certain he would happily jump on my back the first chance he got."

"B-Bob?"

"Narcissa´s male name," Malfoy replied as if this were the most normal thing in the world. "You may run into Bob from time to time, especially when he´s getting ready to go out. He´s an outrageous flirt, more so than Narcissa and I would advise you not to turn your back on him for a moment. I learned that lesson in a rather...oblique fashion."

"O-oh..."

"And should you breath a word of this to Draco, I give you warning that be it Bob or Narcissa that comes after you, you will know the true meaning of pain," Malfoy was almost grinning gleefully at the stunned look on Harry´s face. "I´m sure you´ll enjoy your time in the Manor."

Cringing back against the side of the carriage, Harry tried to push aside the image of one of the village people donning the rich dresses that Narcissa was so often seen in and wondered briefly if his mind would recover from the shock.

***

"Boy."

"Nguh?"

A sharp smack on the head from Lucius Malfoy´s cane quickly dispelled thoughts of drowsiness from Harry´s mind and he sat up, blinking around groggily. Smacking his lips, he yawned and cricked his neck.

"Where are we?"

"Home."

The door of the carriage was opened by a house elf, who backed away rapidly as Lucius stepped down, Harry a few paces behind him.

Night had fallen some time between the moment Harry had fallen asleep in the carriage and the moment they had drawn up into the grounds of the most incredible house he had ever seen in his life.

The Burrow had been fascinating, Hogwarts had been amazing, but this place...

It was spectacular.

Had the huge mansion been split right down the centre, each side could have served as a mirror image for the other. Warm, welcoming lights were flickering in many of the windows, the deep grey stone gleaming a silver shade in the moonlight.

So it wasn´t how imagined the home of a mad dark wizard, but still...

"Lucius!"

The immense, dark wooden doors, at the top of a long flight of stairs swung open, the lights from within the house revealing a slender silhouette of - at least up until seven hours ago, what Harry had assumed was - a woman.

Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and he was yanked forcefully forward, his feet clattering on the gravel that covered the ground. He was briskly positioned in front of Malfoy, who he noticed had a very nervous smile on his face.

"Evening, Ciss..."

The tall, slender and with a corona of golden hair swirling around her face...no way that was a man!

Not a bloody chance!

Running lightly down the steps, the long robes flaring around her legs, Narcissa´s face was illuminated by a smile, which faded somewhat when she looked down at Harry, who tried to surreptitiously back away.

Unfortunately, Lucius Malfoy was using him as a human shield and the dark wizard wasn´t about to leave himself open to attack.

"Dear," the warm tones of Narcissa´s first cry to him had frosted over a little. "Why is Harry Potter standing in front of you?"

"Um...well...erm...dar..."

"Lucius," Narcissa sing-songed.

"Wehadabitoanaccidentattheschoolandnowhe´scarryingthebabythatshouldhavebeenyoursanditreallyisn´tmyfault!"

Had he been fully awake and conscious without a snake-shaped dent in his forehead, Harry was sure he could only have identified two words in Malfoy´s sentence. He didn´t think it was possible for anyone to talk quite that fast without taking a breath.

"He´s carrying my baby? Harry Potter is carrying my baby?""

Malfoy nodded. "And he knows."

Somehow, Harry found Lucius Malfoy speaking in a squeaky voice, as if he had inhaled helium, highly amusing. Even the fact that there was a very annoyed, very beautiful statuesque transvestite looming over him didn´t stop the hysterical, high-pitched giggle escape him.

Narcissa´s look smothered the giggle instantly. "He...knows?"

"Um..."

"Well," Narcissa caught Harry´s chin in her hand and lifted his face to hers, studying him. Her voice seemed to have dropped an octave or two at the very least, when she spoke. "This is just bloody marvellous, Luce."

Harry stared at her.

With that deep, very male voice coming from her lovely mouth, she suddenly reminded him horribly of the overweight, dungaree-wearing builder that Uncle Vernon had hired to build a conservatory.

"Can we take this inside, Ciss?"

"Luce, you bring back a boy who is the enemy of our Master, to our house, carrying the baby I was meant to have as my bloody protection and you think you can ask me to do anything?"

"Would an apology help?"

"Luce."

"That would be a no, wouldn't it?"

Narcissa smiled coldly at her...his...um...well, you know, stared at Lucius, the bloke that he/she/it was married to, the expression making Harry´s already jumpy stomach twist with panic.

"So," she said, looking down at Harry, her fingers still holding his chin in a firm grip that he didn´t want to try breaking free of. "You know who I am, Mister Potter? And you´re carrying my baby?"

"Y-y-yes, M-Mrs Malfoy."

"Then I suppose there´s only one thing I can do, considering the circumstances."

Harry whimpered with terror as she grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to trot alongside her.

The idea of playing dead suddenly was very appealing.