Harry Potter and The Ten Sickle Hooker

"Okay, you guys are up! My audition went perfectly well, I presume. It wasn't that hard. Now get going! Oh, and don't forget to dance!"

Hermione pushed Harry and Ron through the dungeon door to the auditions. Ron staggered drunkenly around while Harry tried to remember the first part of the song. Is it toeses or supposes? he thought.

Ron looked up to see Snape, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle waiting for them to speak. He could feel a great vomit coming up but he quickly swallowed and looked at Harry. Harry cleared his throat.

"Uh... so we're going to be performing..." he started.

"Names please." Snape glared at them. Ron hiccupped.

"I'm Harry Potter." Harry looked at Ron.

"Uh... Ron Weasley," Ron choked.

"So we're going to do this uh... song from a muggle musical called Dancing in the Rain," Harry said. Snape raised his eyebrow. Malfoy smirked.

"Singing in the Rain, Harry," Ron nudged.

"Right. Sorry. Singing in the Rain. So... uh... here goes," Harry looked at Ron and counted to three.

Harry tapped his foot on the ground. Ron looked sick to his stomach. Here goes, he thought.

"Moses supposes his roses are toeses," Harry started.

All of a sudden, an invisible piano struck up behind him, playing the accompanying tune.

"But Moses supposes his toeses are roses!" Ron knowingly sung back to Harry.

"Right! But Moses supposes erroneously," Harry sung out, spinning around. Ron looked at Harry like he was an idiot. Harry shrugged and nodded at Snape and the others.

"So Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses..." Ron continued. Snape rolled his eyes and Malfoy covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing.

"And Moses supposes his toeses to be!" Harry danced around the room, getting into it. Ron spun around with Harry and immediately felt sick. He stopped.

What's the next lyric? Ron thought. Harry looked at Ron.

"Bloo Bloo Blee Blee Blee!" Ron threw his hands in the air and shouted nonsense to the tune, and it was Harry's turn to look at him like he was insane. But no, they were just too drunk for this. Snape clapped his hands to get their attention.

"That is quite enough," Snape stared at them. Harry stood up straight and bit his lip to keep from laughing. Malfoy caught Harry in the act and smiled. Crabbe and Goyle were smirking.

"Thank you," Snape said as he gritted his teeth. "For that complete waste of time. We'll get back to you." Ron saluted Snape and turned quickly around with Harry on his heels.

Malfoy turned to Snape and rested his head on his hand. He stared dreamily at Snape.

"I think we've seen all we need Sevvie." Malfoy reached up and pinched Snape on the cheek as if he were a child. Snape looked away with a glare and sighed, disgusted.

*

"That was absolutely embarrassing. I don't ever want to go to Potions again. And if I see Malfoy in the hall... I will shoot myself!" Ron plopped down on the couch in the Gryffindor common room.

"You remember what Hermione said though, Ron. Malfoy may still pick us for lead roles, and we'll be in it anyways!" Harry shrugged when he caught the repulsed look on Ron's face.

"I don't even care! I didn't want to do it in the first place. We completely messed up to song from the moment we started and I couldn't even remember the lyrics! It wouldn't even matter if it hadn't been Snape in that chair!" Ron covered his face with his hands.

Harry sat down next to Ron. A flyer lay on the floor in front of them. Harry bent down to pick it up.

"Where is everyone?" Ron looked around the empty room. "What's that?"

Calling all houses!

Come to the Hogwarts fashion show!

Arranged by the Gryffindor Girlies!

All proceeds will go to benefit Magic Dyslexia!

Password: Chocolate Frog

"Hufflepuff common room. Look. It says that some Gryffindor girls are having a fashion show today." Harry handed the flyer to Ron.

"Wicked! Oh man Harry we better get going. It starts really soon!" Ron immediately stood up.

"What about Hermione?" Harry stood up as well.

"Fuck that! I'm going!" Ron and Harry walked out of the room.

"Could you imagine the look on Hermione's face if she knew we were going to this? She proably has no idea that there's even a fashion show today! I mean, think about what she'd do to us if she knew we were going to this... Especially you, Ron, now that you're dating again." Harry hurried to keep up as Ron bulldozed down the hall.

"We are not dating again. It just never works out between us. Trust me, we're not!" Ron stopped in front of the portrait to the Hufflepuff common room.

"Chocolate Frog," he said, as per instructions from the flyer.

The lights were already dim when the two walked in. The music was about to start, so Harry and Ron grabbed the first seats they saw next to Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.

"Hey Ron! Hey Harry," Seamus whispered to them.

"Hey Seamus," Harry said. Ron clapped his hands together and looked around the room. The audience was mostly male, and a few girls who were probably friends with the ones in the show.

"I don't see Hermione around... Boy are we gonna get it when she finds out we were ogling her friends," Ron whispered to Harry. The music started and big bright lights lit up the runway. Ron clapped Harry on the back and they smiled. Seamus and Dean looked happy as well.

"Good thing its mostly Gryffindors and not all Slytherin. Could you see Millicent Bullstrode in a bikini or underwear?" Ron shuddered.

"I try not to think about it Ron." A girl he recognized as Percy's ex, Penelope Clearwater, walked out from behind the curtains and down the runway.

"Welcome to the first annual Gryffindor runway show. I'm Penelope Clearwater. I graduated from Hogwarts a few years ago but have been asked to return just for this occasion. So without further adieu, please welcome our line of Hogwarts girls modeling clothes from the Delacour line!" She walked off the runway and the music changed to something a bit more upbeat.

"Is that uh, Fleur Delacour she's talking about?" Ron leaned over to Harry with wide eyes.

"Might be but I doubt she's here..." Harry shook his head.

"SHE IS HERE!" Ron hissed, and pointed to beautiful but now more refined woman than they remembered. Her blond hair was shoulder length and she was wearing a very classy cream-colored business robe. Harry raised his eyebrows.

Lavender Brown was the first one out on the stage for the underwear part of the show. Ron looked at Harry and they had to fight to keep from giggling. Followed by Emma Dobbs, Parvati and Padma Patil, and some younger girls they didn't know. Some other girls that Harry and Ron knew came out in classy suits like the one Fleur was wearing and some girls came out in fancy dresses. A song by Celestina Warbeck came on and it was time for the swimsuits.

Ron wooed and clapped like a fool when a really beautiful blond girl walked out first in a swimsuit and sarong. She was striking. She was tall, thin, and had really long hair. In fact she was so beautiful Harry and Ron felt they had never seen her before. How could they have missed a girl like that? Yet she was somewhat familiar, but who she reminded them of, they couldn't recall. The beautiful girl turned and walked off.

A cute girl with straight, long hair came out. She walked with pride and her swimsuit was very flattering. Harry looked at Fleur and she was smiling contently with her arms folded in front of her. Was this another one of Fleur's sisters? No, she had brown hair; Fleur's sisters would be blonde... wait!

"Oh- my- God," Ron choked out. Harry's eyes grew wide as the girl seemed to float towards them. They looked at each other in shock

"IT'S HERMIONE!!"

Hermione looked down at them and stopped.

"RON?"

Hermione staggered on her heels. Lavender Brown, out again for the swimsuits, ran into Hermione. Hermione swayed and stepped on the side of the stage where she fell straight into the arms of Neville Longbottom who looked absolutely terrified. Lavender fell back on her butt and her heel broke off.

Fleur stood up and looked around where she caught Ron Weasley's eye. With a slight look of recognition, Fleur raised her eyebrow, turned away and quickly walked backstage to help. The gorgeous blond girl came back out from the stage to help Lavender, but Lavender pulled on her hair and the girl screamed out. Off came her hair.

And there stood Draco Malfoy formerly known as the gorgeous blonde, in all his glory, in a bathing suit, and wearing a ton of makeup. Ron put his hands over his eyes and screamed a girlish howl. Harry laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed.