Insanity

INSANITY: THE LOST CHAPTER SERIES

PART ONE

Draco: Yet again we show up, and what for? You ruined a very important appointment I had to have today. I hope you're happy. ::Harry smirks just a bit::

Mandy: And what are you smiling about, Harry?

Harry: Nothing!! ::Mandy raises an eyebrow::

Mandy: In...deed. Anyways, I have a special treat for you all.... ::smiles like a maniac on drugs:: I found them a while back. I've just been waiting to release them.

Harry: Do we dare ask what? ::Mandy points at the title above her head, looking like Igor::

Draco: AW HELL NO!!!

Mandy: AW HELL YES!!

Draco: Why? Why? Just tell me why.

Mandy: Just because you're the brat.

Draco: I am not a brat!

Mandy: Yes you are.

Draco: HARRY!! SHE'S TEASING ME!!

Mandy: See? You are a brat!

Harry: Let's just get this over with.

Mandy: If you insist....

The first twelve hours after the start of the spell, everything went smoothly. Until he woke up and started singing "West Side Story" and got hit with a cupcake. But after the first period of INSANITY ::echoes::, Draco had a few more things to offer before his time was up.

"POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO PLATYPUS!!! PLATYPUS!!! POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO POTATO PLATYPUS!! PLATYPUS!!!" Draco shouted as he ran down the halls in his leather capris and loose silvery shirt, along with the SQUEAKY SHOES OF ZANZIBAR! And every time he said "platypus" he would stop and try to do a Russian and then started singing "potato potato" again. A few people got pretty annoyed and threw things at him. Like for instance, one threw a phone number of a "Jenny Muqueaosdosdoansuoa" in the form of a paper airplane at him which hit him right in the head. A few other people started to throw noodles at him. How the noodles got there I don't know. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! A SHARK A SHARK!!! HOLY PESTO IT'S A SHARK!!!" he said as he pointed at a random Hufflepuff. The Hufflepuff continued to walk, embarrassed that he realized he was not a shark. He cried. But then he found a nickel, named it John and ran off to Vegas with it. YAY!!! SAND!!!

He then continued to swim through a sea of people singing the "Jaws" theme (Hahaha. MAJOR PUN intended). How he knew that I don't know. Oh, wait. I do actually.

His aunt came over one time and showed Draco the art of Muggle movies. They saw "Jaws". The shark ate a lot of people. Well maybe a few. I don't know that either. But he learned the theme from that because when you know that, someone's going to get eaten, and people that is NOT a good thing!!

Draco put a piece of parchment on his back and magically made it stand up on his back as he looked around for a victim. He waded around until he saw three lone Gryffindors, walking apart from the crowd. Draco spotted them and headed towards them, singing the "Jaws" theme ::queue "Jaws" theme::. As he got closer and closer the music heightened. And the closer he got the more suspicious the Gryffindors started to get. He had to act fast or the French fries (excuse me: Freedom Fries), would run away and join the Antarctican army! He then jumped on a flamed-haired boy and tackled him. He screamed for help but Jaws' jaws were just too strong. Until a raven-haired boy tackled Draco and pinned him on the floor of the hall. Draco tried to inflict his vicious bite upon the boy pinning him there, but he was just too strong. Until Draco bit his wrist and then ran away. He wanted to know if the nickel and the Hufflepuff lived happily ever after. "I swear I don't know what has... never mind," Harry said as he got up from the ground.

"THAT...BLOODY FUCKING GIT BIT ME!!!!" Ron shouted, astonished, as checked out his bite marks that Draco had left behind. "I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!"

"Oh relax. It's not like he has cooties or something," Hermione reasoned. After he heard that, he ran down the hall screaming like banshee, telling people to get out of his way. "Well if I knew that's how to get rid of him, I would have said that sooner."

"He should know that is twice that I got bitten," Harry replied as he looked at the red teeth marks left on his wrist. After he thought about the bites on his wrists, he then thought about vampires. Then the thought of vampires led to vampires doing things that cannot be said in this story...::AHEM::.

Anywho, Draco ran off into the middle of the hall and started his own theme music. It was like "Jaws" and "Mission Impossible". But anyways, he decided to skip Herbology and run around like the madman he was.

He was having as much fun as a monkey on a tricycle smoking a pipe while doing the Macarena. He tossed his cookies a couple of times at people walking down the hall. That was until Peeves showed up. He tossed his cookies at Peeves, but they went right through him. "Those pumpkin and corn cookies go right through me! You will never hit me, Malfy Walfy!"

"YES, I WILL, AND IT'S ROXIE!!" Suddenly, Draco stopped and looked at Peeves like he, well, "just seen a ghost". He pointed at Peeves and cried out, "CHRIST ON A TRICYCLE!! THAT WITCH IS STUCK IN A CUBE OF SHIT!!! TTTTTAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SOMEBODY CALL THE BADGERS IN!! WE NEED BACK-UP!!! CALL THE MUTANT MUSHROOM MEN!!! CALL THE MUTANT PIG-MAN!!! WHERE THE HELL IS THE MUTANT PIG-MAN WHEN I NEED HIM?!?!" He decided that running around in circles screaming his head off would distract the witch trapped in a cube of shit. Peeves looked at Draco, confused for the first time in his Poltergeistic life. He vanished before things got really bad. Dumbledore came around the corner and saw Dra-Roxie lying on the floor spinning in circles (It's quite fun, actually. Try it sometime!). Dumbledore rushed to him and hit him in the head with his fist. "I WANT AN ELKLESPROUT!!!"

"Draco-"

"ROXIE!!"

"Fine. Roxie, what happened?" he said soothingly. Draco got up from the ground and pointed at Dumbledore.

"DEAR SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD AND ALL THE JELLYBEANS IN A JAR!!!" Draco paused. "You're not Santa.... I smell it."

"I never said-"

"That can only mean one thing... you are a robot chameleon sent from the planet of Raccoon to come take my foot and make me a mermaid!!" He turned to run. "You Raccoonian Bublebore will never take this foot!! NEVER!!! CALL THE PLUMBER!!!" He then ran away. But in laughing to himself he ran into a wall. "DAMNIT, WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT SHOW UP?!?" he shouted as he got up. He then started to skip down the hall while singing "Chicks Dig It". Dumbledore shook his head and walked away.

"I'm to damn young for this," Dumbledore muttered to himself.

It was break. It was after first and second period and it was time for Draco to go seriously nuts (Hehehe. Nuts. Hehehe). Anyways, he saw Harry and ran towards him. He had this odd fascination with him. He reminded him of the giant squid, and he liked the giant squid. Then he ran away from Harry to the giant squid. "Gleek," it went.

"SQUIDDIE!!! I MISSED YOU AND YOUR TURTLE SCENT!!!" Draco went into the water and took the tentacle and wrapped it around his head. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I'M BATHING WITH A TENTACCCCCLLLLLEEEEE!!!!" he sang. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I SAY, AND 'GLEEK' THE SQUID SAY!! OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH GRANDPA!!! OOOOOOOOHHH GRANDPA!!! WHY DID YOU GET EATEN BY THE TURRRRRRRRTLE!!! WHY DID YOU LEEEEEEEAAAVVVE ME WITH THAT HAGGARD BITCH?!? OOOO SWEEEEEEETTT JESUS SAVE ME FROM THE GRAPES OF CRYYYYYOOLLLL!!" Finally, the squid got tired of him and ate him.

Draco: I GOT BLOODY EATEN?!?

Mandy: We will never know....

Draco: What is that suppose to mean?

Mandy: A good girls kisses and never tells.

Harry: Great. I don't want to know what you've been up to anyways.

Mandy: Hehehehe. ::evil smile::

Draco: Don't get her started. You don't know what's on that mind of hers.

Mandy: The world may never know.

Harry: I hope it stays that way.

Mandy: I hope so, too. If people knew what was on it, I would be locked up forever. They would throw away the key and keep me in a straightjacket...in a cell... surrounded by psychotics... ehehehehehe. NO! BAD MANDY!! BAD!! NO SINGING!!

Harry: What?

Draco: Whoa. I'm convinced. Let's go.

Mandy: You two be gay all you want!! MAHAHAHAHA!!! MORE FUN FOR ME!!! THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED!!! MAHAHAHAHAHA!!!