Our Little One

.~*~.Our Little One. ~*~.

Chapter Seven

First Times

***************************************

This chapter is not from any particular first-person POV.

This chapter is partly flashbacks.

***************************************

"Lucius?" Olivia asked quietly.

"Mmm-hmm?" the blond man mumbled in response, raising his eyes to the girl.

Olivia was sitting in an armchair once again, reading the same book as she had been reading during the previoust full moon. Now the book, however, lay forgotten in her lap, and her eyes were locked at Lucius and the wolf in his lap. "How did it all begin?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How did this begin?" she asked, gesturing towards him and his wolf-shaped husband. "Harry and Draco only told how you two came in public. But how did you get together in the first point?"

"You mean, when we were young?" Lucius asked, and Olivia nodded.

"Exactly. How did you realize you were in love? What was your first kiss like? When was the first time you said 'I love you?' When was the first time you thought about marrying Remus?"

"Well..." Lucius smiled. "You really are interested in our background, aren't you?"

Olivia looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "I am just curious," she said, and smiled. Then her smile faded away. "When I was young, I used to wonder how my parents got together, since they clearly didn't love each other," she said with a very quiet voice. "I guess... I guess I just want to hear some kind of story about the same topic."

"Well, I suppose our story is a bit happier," Lucius said, and smiled. "At least if you drop away all the years between 1979 and 1993." Remus raised his head to glare at his husband. Lucius chose to ignore the gesture. "But other than that? I think I can tell you. At least some of it," he added as Remus playfully snapped at his sleeve with his sharp teeth, being extremely careful not to even touch his skin. "Nothing inappropriate, though, or my dear husband will skin me alive once he's again able to use his hands on me."

Olivia chuckled and put her book aside. "Go on, then."

Lucius leaned back in his own armchair, starting to slowly scratch Remus's head behind the ears. "Well, the moment we realized our love was the same as that of our first kiss, which came half on an accident..."

~*~*~*~

13th of November, 1975

***

A wand was held in a small hand. The hand trembled a bit at first, but then it got steadier and pointed right at the little rat that was running around in the corner. Then a voice with no hint of hesitating or nervousness said, loudly and clearly, "Crucio."

The tiny creature let out a little "squeak" as it began rapidly trembling under the grip of a tormenting curse. The curse was released almost immediately, but it left the rat weak and unable to walk, almost dead in its current state.

"Imperio," came the next command.

The rat winced as another curse hit it. Then, despite its weakness, it rose to its four feet. Unable to resist the unspoken commands, it turned around and walked to the corner, where it then sat down, obediently waiting for the next command.

It never came. Instead, there was a low hiss, "Avada Kedarva."

The rat didn't even flinch as the bright beam of green light hit it. It merely fell onto its side, dead before its head even hit the floor.

"Excellent." Lucius smirked and clapped lazily his hands as Remus turned towards him, the amber eyes twinkling with excitement. "Simply excellent. Where do you get all the power? I've never even heard of someone as young as you having such a powerful killing curse!"

"It isn't actually my power," the teenager said darkly, the slightly amused look disappearing completely from his face. "It's the wolf's."

"Oh!" Lucius exclaimed. "Sorry about that." He was almost surprised with himself. He didn't even remember when he'd last said "sorry" to anyone. Then again, he didn't remember when he'd last talked civilly with someone for as long as he did with Remus.

It was weird, really. As soon as he had returned to assist in Potions at Hogwarts in order to get his Masters, and found out about little Lupin's Lycanthropy, he'd become oddly interested in the fifteen-year-old Gryffindor. When the boy then had come to him to ask about the Dark Arts, he'd replied truthfully, telling anything the boy might ask.

After that, neither of them was sure what had really happened or in what order. It had, however, led to this situation: They practised Dark curses together, in the meantime telling each other a lot of things they'd never told to anyone else. During the progress Lucius had slowly grown to like the boy, and he sometimes even dared to think that Remus liked him as well.

He glanced at the corner and saw some movement there. "A-ha!" he exclaimed. "Another one."

"It's yours," Remus offered generously. "This is your room, after all."

The young Potions Assistant nodded. "So it is." He aimed at the rat in the corner as it began sniffing at its dead companion. "Imperio."

They watched in amusement as the rat followed Lucius's commands, dancing and jumping around like a doll without own will. When he at last released the curse, they both laughed as the rat nearly hit the wall while trying to walk straight. The pressure had already broken its weak mind, like often happened to undeveloped animals that were held under the curse for a too long time.

"A pitiful creature," Remus said at last as the rat almost managed to kill itself by banging its head at the wall. "It'll end up breaking its skull. Finish it off."

Lucius nodded. This was one of the things he liked in the werewolf: Remus wasn't cruel or bloodthirsty. Even when he used the Unforgivables, like Ministry had named the three Dark curses they used the most, he never kept the victims under the Cruciatus long enough to kill them with the pain, and he always finished them right after releasing the other curses. He also always used the Imperiatus after the Cruciatus, thus making the victim numb to the pain until he'd finish it off.

Therefore, Lucius aimed his wand yet again and said, "Avada Kedarva." The rat bounced as the light hit it, then fell on the floor next to the first one. Lucius turned towards Remus. "You want to try again?" he asked. "I know a charm that calls spiders. You could try one of them."

"Nah. I have to leave soon," Remus said, shaking his head. "I have to work on my Potions essay." He grimaced, since he simply hated the subject. This gesture didn't go unnoticed by Lucius.

"Exactly why you don't like Potions?" he asked curiously as he took down the wards he'd built around his room to stop everyone from noticing the Dark powers they were using there. "You're doing very well in all other subjects. Why's this one too hard for you?"

The boy seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then he said, pretty slowly, "Imagine... Imagine that you got a new nose. A nose that allowed you to smell what your teacher ate for breakfast yesterday." He made a brief pause, then added dryly, "Then imagine that you were put in the same room with sixty-some cauldrons full of some stinking liquid, one of them right under your nose."

Lucius let out a low whistle. "Doesn't sound like a very pleasant experience," he admitted.

"Believe me," Remus sighed, "it isn't."

The Slytherin thought about it for a moment. Then he said, "There are some potions that might help the case. If you want, I could get you some."

The amber eyes widened. "You would?"

Lucius nodded. "Of course I would," he repeated his promise.

Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "And what would be in it for you?" he asked doubtfully. "I can understand why you're helping me with certain... other things," he said, nodding towards the two dead rats in the corner, "but there's no point in helping me to stand Potions."

"Well, maybe because it's painful to see as skilled student as you messing up the whole lesson," he said, shrugging. "Maybe... Maybe because I want something else from you."

"And what would that be?" Remus questioned, his eyes narrowing even more. This boy wasn't dumb, he knew very well what Lucius was going after. Especially after he'd found out about the man's bisexuality.

"A kiss?" the blond suggested, grinning. The suggestion was half a serious offer, half a joke - he admitted that Remus was pretty, yes, and he definitely wouldn't be disappointed if the boy took the offer, but he didn't want to force him to anything, not even ask anything from him yet. He might be nasty, he might be a snob, he might be a Dark wizard, but he definitely wasn't a paedophile.

Therefore, he was positively surprised by Remus's next words.

"And nothing else?" the boy asked. He looked more surprised than shocked, like he'd been expecting something like that, only not yet.

"Nothing else," Lucius verified, licking his lips nervously. "And not even that, if you don't want to. I can get the potions for you anyway."

"And what," Remus said, raising one honey eyebrow, "if I do want that?"

Now, Lucius smiled at the young werewolf and spread his arms. "Then you're welcome," he said and smirked, only just managing to cover his own nervousness.

Remus seemed to be nervous as well. He took a couple of hesitant steps towards Lucius. The blond also took one short step, not wanting to scare the younger wizard away.

Then Remus seemed to collect all his Gryffindor-ish courage, walked right to him and rose on tiptoes. Then he pulled Lucius's head down with his hands and kissed the Slytherin softly, some stray strands of his hair tickling the blond's face.

Lucius held his breath. Remus's lips felt so soft, their pressure on his mouth almost nonexistent. He carefully raised his hands to hold the boy's head as he started replying the kiss, at first slowly and carefully, not wanting to scare him. Then he felt Remus relax, and he became more demanding; slipping his tongue out to lick those soft lips, to taste better the strange sweetness that was Remus.

After a moment the small brunet opened his lips, letting his exploring tongue slip inside. He slowly traced the sharp, white teeth, examined them with the tip of his tongue. Then his tongue met Remus's, and the two began fighting each other for dominance, pushing and licking each other, slipping from mouth to mouth.

At last they broke the kiss. They just stood there, staring at each other, both panting slightly when their bodies tried to get the oxygen they'd been lacking.

"That was... good." Remus grinned at last, breaking the pressuring silence. "Very good, actually."

"I think so as well," Lucius said, and smiled. Then he added, very quietly, "Thank you."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Whatever for?" he asked.

"I - I don't exactly know," Lucius admitted with an ashamed grin. "For the kiss, I suppose."

"Then I have to thank you as well," the werewolf replied with a slight smile. "That was one of the most pleasant experiences in my life."

Lucius chuckled slightly. "Why, I'm delighted," he said and smirked. A bit hesitantly, he reached out his hand and took hold on Remus's smaller hand. The boy allowed him.

Afterwards, neither of them could tell exactly how it had happened. The next thing they realized was that they were kissing again, Lucius's arms wrapped around Remus's narrow waist, the brunet's hands fiddling with the shiny blond hair.

This time, however, Lucius broke the kiss soon. He pulled back, stumbling towards his bed. He sat down, his chest rising in a rapid pace as he breathed heavily in and out.

"Lucius?" Remus asked, sounding frightened. "What's wrong?"

"We can't," Lucius muttered, clenching his teeth. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" the boy asked, sounding hurt. "Don't you like me?"

"Yes, I do," he admitted softly. "I like you very much, Remus. It's just -" He sighed heavily. "We simply can't," he said. "You're fifteen, and a student. I'm twenty-one, and the Potions Assistant -- equal to a teacher. Do you know exactly what would happen if somebody caught us? You'd be expelled in an instant. And I - I'd be arrested, accused of paedophilia."

Remus didn't say anything. Instead of that, he slowly walked to the bed and sat down next to him. For a moment they were both quiet, studying the floor, not daring to look at each other.

Then Lucius noticed a slight pressure on his arm. He glanced at it and noticed a small, fine hand sliding slowly down along it. At last Remus's hand found his, his fingers tangling with Lucius's longer ones, not letting go. Remus squeezed his hand slightly.

After a moment, Lucius replied the gesture.

He glanced at Remus only to find those amber eyes looking back at him. As their gazes were locked together, Remus opened his mouth and spoke softly, "I'll be of age in April."

Lucius simply nodded. Nothing else had to be said. Then his eyes slid down to their still joined hands. Remus looked at them as well. Neither of them released the grasp.

They sat like that for a very long time.

~*~*~*~

7th of February, 1976

***

There were many things one could do whilst Potions tutoring. Things that the Potions Mistress would never have expected to be done whilst it.

Holding hands, for example.

That was what Lucius and Remus were currently doing. They sat in the corner, not even looking at the slightly simmering liquid in the cauldron. Their fingers were clutched together, the two joined hands resting at the point where their thighs were pressed against each other, the warmth radiating through the numerous layers of cloth.

Lucius brought his other hand before him. He pointed one long, fine finger and began tracing patterns on the back of Remus's smaller hand. He glanced sideways at the brunet, and they both smiled a bit. Neither of them said anything, but Remus snuggled yet a bit nearer to Lucius as the blond continued running his fingertip over the delicate hand.

He let another finger down on Remus's skin, then yet another. He ran the three fingers down to the narrow wrist. Then he slid them even further, lifting up the loose robe sleeve as well as that of the shirt as he went on.

Remus shivered and closed his eyes as Lucius exposed more and more of his arm. His skin didn't stay as smooth and flawless as it was in his hand for long. The pale arm was crossed by several scars and teethmarks, all self-inflicted.

Lucius frowned. Despite all the prejudices he had previously held against werewolves, Remus had shown him that they could in general be just as harmless and kind as anyone else. Only during the full moon did they become beasts, when they lost their mind and control. Why did such a nice and intelligent person as Remus have to suffer every month, tearing himself in shreds?

He traced one especially clear mark. It was rather new; caused the last full moon, which was now two weeks ago. That meant two weeks until the next time.

He lifted his fingers, allowing the sleeves to fall down to their place. He couldn't look at the arms, not when he knew that this wasn't even the worst. Remus had once shown him his chest, which had been almost only scars. There hadn't been any unharmed skin in sight. It had been only once, and only for a brief moment, but he didn't think he could ever forget it.

He squeezed slightly the small hand atop his. Remus didn't return the gesture, but he felt him relax a bit.

Lucius glanced at the cauldron and smiled. If the current Potions Mistress of Hogwarts, Professor McTurnip, looked in, she'd see the expected Quilldrying Liquid and two hardworking people around it - there were of course charms around the room to warn them of an approaching person soon enough to make them able to spring apart and act busy. If she took even the slightest bit more attentive glance at the cauldron, though, she'd notice that it was full of coloured water. Fortunately, she trusted Lucius enough to never take a better look - rarely even check up on them.

Lucius had easily spoken himself to be Remus's tutor. This they had done half to spend more time together without raising suspicions, half to get some kind of explanation to Remus's suddenly increased Potions skills. Now that Lucius's potions made him able to actually concentrate at the lessons without being distracted by the smell, he'd begun to even like the subject. It of course wasn't a bad thing at all that Lucius was present at all classes, either.

The fifteenth of April couldn't come soon enough to either of them. Of course they'd have to hide their relationship even by then, but at least they wouldn't be punished if somebody found out about it. A quick peck on the lips when nobody was seeing was the most they dared to do, and even that they did only in very rare occasions. They had come to some kind of an unspoken agreement that they'd do no more than hold hands before Remus was of age and therefore legally able to get involved with Lucius.

"I know I am ugly," Remus said darkly, shaking him awake from his thoughts. "You don't have to make sure I remember it."

"You're anything but ugly," Lucius said firmly. "You're beautiful, Remus - both inside and outside."

"Ha, ha, ha," the fifteen-year-old said gloomily. "I'm a beast, Lucius, don't you see it? What kind of people bite and rip and claw themselves? What kind of people almost kill themselves every month?" he asked hotly.

"The kind of people who have suffered much, and are brave enough to fight the curse that's hurting them," Lucius said simply. "The kind of people who don't give up. And you're not a beast. You're kind, smart, wonderful, loveable -"

"Loveable? You must be kidding," Remus interrupted him, snorting depressedly. "I don't think anybody can ever love me," he whispered, lowering his gaze at the floor.

"Remus," Lucius said firmly, "look at me." He placed one hand under Remus's chin, gently turning his head and forcing him to face him. Once he had caught the gaze of the amber eyes, he spoke again. "I love you," he said softly, stroking slightly the werewolf's cheek. "I love you, Remus Lupin, and I always will. This is a promise." Once he had said it the first time, it felt much easier to say again. In the end he was sounding as certain about the topic as he felt. He loved Remus, that much he knew. And it was all that mattered.

"I love you too, Lucius," Remus said very quietly. Then he suddenly threw his arms around the blond and clutched on him like a drowning man grasps on his saviour's hand.

Lucius, only a bit surprised by this gesture, simply hugged the boy back. "I love you, Remus," he whispered, holding tightly on the slightly trembling Gryffindor. "I love you."

~*~*~*~

13th of July, 1996

***

Lucius peeked through the bush leaves. He smiled as he saw the two people sitting on a bench in the garden of the Malfoy Manor. His son, and his lover.

Remus looked a lot better already. He had filled out a bit, and the sharp shadows under his eyes had disappeared. His frame was still dangerously thin, though. If one watched him carefully, there could be seen a slight tremble in his hands.

Lucius frowned as he remembered the previous full moon. It had been pure torture. The wolf had spent the whole night whimpering, too weak to even get up onto its feet, and afterwards Remus had had to lie in bed for three days, unable to do anything but fight for his life. Lucius had sat next to him the whole time, not leaving until he had been sure the werewolf would survive.

Now Remus looked almost healthy. The sunlight was playing on his hair, making it shine silver and gold at the same time. His skin was almost paler than Draco's, and the nice dark green robe he was wearing made his eerie appearance look even more sicklish, but his amber eyes were twinkling slightly and there was a small smile on his lips as he listened to Draco.

"Nice to see you're enjoying yourself," Lucius said as he stepped in the sight of the two. "But are you sure you can be outside already, Remus? You shouldn't exhaust yourself."

"Lucius!" Remus exclaimed and smiled even more broadly. "I'm fine, believe me. Although you've taught your son well - I almost had to fulfill my threat of hexing him before he'd let me out here." He shot a mock-glare at Draco, who merely grinned.

"All the better for him," Lucius said dryly. "If I found out that he'd insisted you to be outside the Manor, I'd strangle him, my only son or not. I'm glad you're better, but you should really be more careful. Silver burns aren't a thing to play with."

"I know that better than you do," Remus said dryly. "And believe me, I'm not playing with anything. If I weren't able to leave the Manor, I wouldn't have done it."

"Don't bother, Remus," Draco chuckled. "Father isn't really interested in your well-being. He's just trying to keep you and Mother away from each other. Not that there really was any reason to worry," he added lightly. "She's too fond on her dear Thomas to even remember that she already has a husband."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "And how did you come to that?" he asked. "I am worried about you, Remus. I think I have more than enough reasons for that. And about your mother, Draco, there's really no problem. We came to an agreement recently. She won't say anything about Remus and I'll keep quiet about Thomas, and everyone's happy that way."

"Good," Remus said, and smiled. "Now I feel a bit less like a home-wrecking slut."

Lucius snorted. "There wasn't much to be wrecked to begin with," he reminded. "The marriage was prearranged and Draco was born because I needed an heir. If somebody's wrecking this home, it's Narcissa and I ourselves."

Remus raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything.

"Come inside now, okay?" Lucius pleaded. "I know it's the middle of summer, and I know that it's rather hot out here, but you're still to recover wholly. I don't want to lose you now when you've already come over the worst part. You were nearly dead, I don't want to risk anything anymore."

"I hardly think that one sunny afternoon spent outside could kill me," Remus chuckled. "But if it makes you feel better, I can come in." He got onto his feet and stretched himself. Then he took a couple of careful steps forward, before he became certain enough of his own feet to start actually walk towards Lucius. Once reaching him, Remus placed a hand on his arm, searching for the support he still needed. "Let's go."

Lucius obeyed gladly, starting to lead their way towards the Manor. Every now and then Remus almost stumbled,but not quite. This made Lucius half delighted, half worried. He was glad to see that the werewolf could already stay upright, but it worried him that he still couldn't use his legs properly. Remus's upper body was what had been hurt most; his legs and feet had been almost unharmed. If he couldn't walk by himself, in what condition were the parts of him that had suffered more?

'Nothing is so bad that there isn't any good in it, though,' he thought as he glanced at his smaller lover. The small man's arms, bared by his sleeveless shirt, were almost unmarked, the pale skin glowing eerily in the sunlight. Remus's upper body had been burned black, his skin mere ashes from the touch of silver. When his skin had been re-created by various spells and potions, most of the scars had disappeared. Only some deeper marks still stayed on his otherwise flawless skin.

Those few remaining were still hard for him to see. He didn't think that they made Remus uglier, anything else; they were a constant reminder of the infinite stamina and strength of his lover. What disturbed him was that they reminded him of the pain that Remus had experienced so many times. And what hurt Remus, hurt him as well.

He told neither Draco nor Remus about the other agreement he and Narcissa had come to. Their divorce would take place right after Voldemort's defeat, when they wouldn't have to keep up the facade anymore. This had been set so Narcissa could marry Thomas right away, but now another thought came into Lucius's mind.

He had nearly lost Remus only couple of weeks earlier. This had shown him that he didn't want to lose the werewolf, never. He simply couldn't live without Remus in his life. He had to come up with some way to bind Remus permanently into his life.

Next week, at Diagon Alley, he bought the ring. He put it away to wait for the delightful day to come.

The day when he would be able to propose to Remus.

~*~*~*~

"Oh, that was sweet," Olivia said and sighed dreamily.

"So it was," Lucius admitted. "I was quite happy about how it turned out in the end myself, too." He petted the large, golden canine in his lap. "Remus seems to be sleeping already," he chuckled. "What about us calling it a night as well?"

"Sounds like a great idea." Olivia lifted up her book and got on her feet, yawning slightly. "Thanks for the story. It was really enjoyable to hear."

"Why, thank you," Lucius chuckled. "I bet Remus would be very happy to hear that you liked our story." He glanced down at his sleeping husband and smiled.

"That silver burn," Olivia said suddenly. "Was it the reason that he spent that summer here?"

Lucius nodded. "The only reason. Otherwise, he'd been at Hogwarts." Then he reached for his wand to levitate Moony up. "But that's another story for another time," he said as he got onto his feet as well. "I'll tell you some day, though." He watched as the girl walked to the door. "Good night."

"Good night," Olivia replied.

Then she closed the door behind her.