Our Little One

.~*~.Our Little One.~*~.

Chapter Six

Potions, Potions, Potions

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This part of the chapter is from Lucius Malfoy's point of view.

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I glance at Olivia. She's looking through the shelves. She reaches out a hand to feel a bunch of herbs just as the shopkeeper steps into the sight.

"Don't touch anything you can't afford, girl," the shopkeeper says sharply. She pulls her hand back and looks frightened.

I narrow my eyes. This is maybe the best potions store in Britain, but I still don't like the shopkeeper. He's sharp-tongued, nasty, and a pure bastard in general. I know that's the way people usually describe me, but really, I'm an angel compared with him.

"Didn't you hear?" he shouts. "If you aren't going to buy anything, just get out of here!"

"If she goes," I say, stepping in his sight, "then I will go as well."

They both turn around to look at me. Olivia looks relieved, and I walk beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. To my great delight she lets me keep my hand there and doesn't jerk away. The shopkeeper just stares at me, his jaw hanging open. Obviously, he hadn't expected anything like this.

"We'll leave this shop right now, if you don't apologize to my daughter," I inform him. "And believe me, that'd be a great loss to you."

"L-Lord Malfoy," he stammers. "I didn't know - I didn't realize -"

"Well, now you do. Apologize to her. Now," I command him. Maybe I could be more polite, but he's got me angry - no, furious. He should be happy I haven't hexed him yet.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Malfoy," he mumbles, managing even a little bow. Unbelievable. With a body like his - short and fat, like a barrel - you'd think it's impossible to him to even bend his head. "I didn't realize who you are. I'm honoured to have the daughter of such a great Potions Master as your father in my store."

"Oh, really," I snort. He's really getting on my nerves. "Get us everything on this list, right now. And Olivia?"

"Yes?" she replies, sounding still very cautious.

"Go ahead looking around the store. Pick anything you want, and I'll buy you that," I tell her.

"Anything?" she asks, looking surprised.

"Anything," I renew my promise. "Whatever you want - a quill holder or a flying tray - it's yours."

She nods happily and smiles. I turn towards the shopkeeper. "Is there anything on the list you don't understand?" I ask him.

"Well... I'm sorry, but there's 'three sets of cauldrons'. What metal should they be of?"

"What do you want, Olivia?" I ask her. "Usually valuable metals are the best. Gold? Silver? Platinum? Copper? What would you like most?"

"Umm... Silver," she replies after thinking for a while. "But I think at least one set should be of some other metal for potions that don't stand silver, right?"

"Right." She's a clever girl, you can't deny it. "Let's say... Two silver and one platinum set. And if anything else is too difficult for you to comprehend, you can ask right from my daughter," I tell the shopkeeper. "And Olivia? Just say what you want. There's no point in me telling what should be get. It's your lab, after all. You decide."

She nods again and continues examining the shelves. I continue getting supplies for my own lab; I've run short of some ingredients, and the test-tubes just keep getting broken.

"Don't bother," I mention as I see she's stopped in front of a shelf full of different kinds of test-tubes. "I already ordered you two sets of crystal, two of glass and one of every common gem."

"Really?" she asks, looking surprised. "But why? I heard in the orphanage that they need only glass in Hogwarts!"

"You've already done some potions far more complex than those they teach at school," I remind her. "You'll soon get to the point where glass simply isn't enough. Many more difficult potions require just the right materials to react properly. Don't bother your head with any basic equipment - look for the luxury instead." Remus would probably say that diamond test-tubes are luxury, but then again, he knows nothing about potions. Many of Potions Master leveled potions require diamond instruments, and she'll eventually get there. Better to get them beforehand than too late.

She in fact follows my instructions. When she's done, she shows me three decorative test-tube holders, two cutting knives and several sets of glass phials for storing the potions, as well as labels for the phials. "Can I have these?" she asks almost shyly.

I do my best to not to smirk. When I got Draco shopping for his own lab for the first time, he bought at least twice as much extra stuff - and he didn't spend even half as much time in the lab as she does. He is interested in potions, and pretty good in them, but he's more like Narcissa than like me, since he has never been interested enough to become a Potions Master like I. His interests lay in other areas - for example Quidditch, and especially some particular Montrose Magpies Seeker.

"Of course," I promise. "Don't you remember? Anything you want. I meant what I said, Olivia."

When we go to the counter, she gasps when she sees all the stuff the shopkeeper has collected. "Are these all for me?" she asks, almost shocked.

"Of course," I reply and glance quickly through the stuff. Cauldrons, mixing bowls and spoons, measuring equipment, test-tubes, basic glass bottles, a few notebooks, knives, different kinds of powdering equipment, and some potions books. Good. It looks like everything is there.

I add the stuff she's collected to the pile and put my own purchases on another. "Pack these," I tell the shopkeeper.

He does so, muttering something under his breath while saying the spells. I pay him - the sum doesn't sound even big to me, but Olivia looks terrified as she hears it - and give Olivia the small package containing her stuff. "Put this into your pocket," I advise her.

"Okay," she smiles, pocketing the little parcel. "And where are we going now?"

"Well, I'd guess we're going to the bookstore," I say, smirking, as we step out of the dim store. "I bet Remus hasn't got to the end of the first shelf yet."

She chuckles. "Don't underestimate him," she says. "He's at least half through the second one!" We both laugh when we walk to the bookstore.

When we step inside, Remus doesn't even look up from the book he's been glancing through. He has a few more on a table next to him. Every book I can see on the pile is in some way or another about Lycanthropy. The book in his hands is titled, "The Cure - Does It Exist?"

My poor dear. I'd want to go and embrace him, but I doubt he'd appropriate that gesture right now. "Are you ready to go?" I ask instead. "It's over midday already, and I know you two are going to spend an eternity at Madam Malkin's."

"Oh!" he exclaims, seemingly now waking up of his "book-slumber", like we others call it. When he's reading, he doesn't know anything about the world around him. Books are to him pretty much like potions are to me and especially to Severus - a legal drug. "Did you get your stuff, Olivia?"

"I really did," she says, and grins. "Lucius bought me more than I'll ever use - but at least I'm going to try my best."

"I figured so," he laughs, collecting the books and walking to the counter. He pays and spells the book into a package similar to those containing our potions stuff. Pocketing it, he grins at us both. "What about an ice-cream before I take Olivia buying clothes and we can both drive Lucius mad?" he suggests.

"Ice-cream?" I echo. "Are you probably nuts? It's the end of December!"

"And your point is?" he snorts. "I take that as a 'no'. What about you, Olivia?" He turns towards the girl, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"I'd love to," she says, and grins. "There's no better time for an ice-cream than when it's cold."

"Listen to her, Lucius," Remus laughs. He looks so beautiful when he laughs. "Your daughter has more brains than you!"

"I'd rather say that your daughter has even less brains than you do," I say, and smirk. "Ice-cream in the middle of winter! You're both absolutely nuts. But then again, you can eat anything you want, as long as you don't try to force me to eat it as well." Really. Remus has odd taste in many things, but this is the one I'll never be able to understand.

"How nice of you, Lucius," Remus chuckles, starting to lead our way to Florean Fortescue's.

*

"I can't take those, Remus!" Olivia protests.

"Why?" Remus asks, holding up some robes. "Don't you like silk, dear?"

"Yes, I do," she says and sighes. "But they're going to be for lab use! One drop of a potion, and they'll be spoiled!"

"And?" Remus looks very astonished. He seemingly doesn't understand at all. "Why couldn't you look pretty in lab as well?"

I decide to step in to the situation. "Take them, Olivia, if you like them," I advise her. "If you don't, then take something else. Anything you like. We have enough money to buy you new robes every day, if need be. I myself wear always velvet in lab, because I feel comfortable in it."

"Yeah," Remus verifies, now undestanding the problem. "Take what feels good to you, dear. Don't think about the cost."

"Well..." She looks thoughtful. "If it's up to me..."

"It is," I tell her. "It's completely up to you what you wear. Just make your pick."

"Then I'll take these," she says, lifting some robes up from a nearby pile. Velvet, so dark green that it's almost black. Short sleeves, tight chest and wide hem. "The hem isn't narrow so it won't slow me down when I walk around, nor will the sleeves be in the way."

"They look okay for me," I say and shrug. "I think five sets would be enough at first, right?"

"Right," Remus says. Then he grins. "And now we're going to buy you some every-day clothes," he says to Olivia. She grins back.

"I'll leave," I say hastily. I'm not too eager to spent the rest of the day merely waiting for them. "I have some business in Gringotts, and then I'll go home."

"Spoilsport," Remus laughs.

I lean forward and kiss him lightly on the lips. "See you later," I say, and he smiles.

"Later," he replies, and his eyes are already wandering towards all the clothing around.

Then I walk out of the store, leaving them alone with their affection.

*

It's very late when they return. They both have satisfied smiles on their faces and not a few packings in their pockets. Olivia is wearing a new, fur-lined winter cloak, and has new gloves on as well.

"Spent your time well, I see," I say dryly. Then I give Olivia a shiny silver key.

"What's this?" she askes, astonished.

"The key to your vault in Gringotts," I reply.

"I don't have a vault," she says warily.

"You have one now." I smirk slightly. "Vault number 472. An useful amount of money will be transferred from my vault every month. Use as you please."

Her eyes are very wide. "Thank you," she whispers.

"You're welcome." I smile at her, trying to relax her a bit. "Give the packages here," I say to her then. "I can open them and then house-elves can carry them wherever they belong to. Okay?"

"Of course it's okay," she says, smiles. "I'll first go and arrange the clothes and then the potions stuff."

"Good." She lays her packages down onto the floor, clothes on one point and the potions equipment some way away. A wave of my wand and some more muttered words, and the objects in the packages return to their original size.

I gasp when I see the amount of clothes they've purchased. "Unbelievable," I whisper. "Did you left anything into the store?"

"I wouldn't have bought so much," Olivia hasties to say with a bit defensive tone, "but Remus practically forced me to!"

"I believe that," I laugh. "It's no problem, Olivia, really. I was just teasing. I kind of expected something like this - Remus is definitely not one to resist the urge to buy every even tiniest bit tempting piece of clothing he sees."

"Then it'll be better if you don't look at my purchases at all," my husband laughs. Then he turns to give instructions about Olivia's new goods to a nearby house-elf.

"Go to your room," I tell Olivia. "The clothes will be brought soon."

She nods, smiles, and leaves the room.

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This part of the chapter is not from any particular first-person POV.

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Olivia glanced around her.

She had already taken care that the house-elves had got her new clothes where they belonged. Then she had dressed herself in one of her new lab robes and come down to her laboratory.

All the new equipment was there, yes, but it was a real mess - books next to the test-tubes, extra ingredients lying all over, bowls stuffed inside the cauldrons. She snorted and started putting the stuff to the proper places.

She worked quickly, knowing exactly where everything belonged to. The test-tube holders she placed next to her first one, placing some crystal and glass tubes in them. Then she filled the shelves on the far wall with empty vials and phials for the potions as well as some goblets and larger bottles for larger amounts of them. Cutting knives in tidy rows, cauldrons and bowls on their places, mixing spoons assorted by size. Books on the bookshelves, one open notebook along with the Voice-Quill on the end of one of the tables. Her previous notes on a pile on one shelf, instructions given by Lucius on another.

At last everything was on the proper place. She looked around herself, satisfied.

"Maybe I should try my new lab, then," she mused aloud, looking through the books. Then she picked up one of them, labeled "Recipes for Future Potions Masters" and began glancing through it.

At last she found a recipe that satisfied her and place the book on the reading table, examining the instructions.

"There's far too much powdered Morrow in this!" she noticed. "It'll cause an explosion! Maybe I should try some other amounts..." On this point, her head was already deep in thoughts about potions.

She collected the required ingredients from her stock and then took them and the proper equipment on one place on her tables. Then she mumbled the activating spell for the Voice-Quill and began chopping the bat wings.

***

"Olivia? Olivia, may I come in?" Lucius asked carefully, not really expecting a reply. He knew better than to walk right in to a lab where somebody was currently at work.

He got a reply, but it was nothing he'd expect. There was a loud blow and then a soft "thumb" as something - or, rather, someone - flew against a table. "Olivia!" he exclaimed, opening the door and rushing inside.

Olivia was getting back on her feet. "Too much Venderroot might also blow up the potion, just like I thought," she said, and the Voice-Quill wrote furiously down her every word.

"Olivia?" Lucius asked, looking carefully around him. "Are you all right?"

"Most certainly," the girl replied happily. "I've already proved that this recipe of Advanced Healing Potion is imperfect or erroneous on at least five points, and it can be even dangerous if followed straight like it's written down."

"Proved?" he echoed. "So you tried every possiblity?"

"Very much so. Look at my notes, if you want - the amount of Morrow and Venderroot are both too large, the rushes should be cut to twenty-four degrees instead of twenty-seven, and size five cauldron is far better than size four. And it requires a silver cauldron but gets spoiled if you use a silver spoon on it - something they've forgot to mention." She snorted. "I can't believe they actually publish something like that."

"Well, perhaps I should have told you about that book," he said and chuckled slightly. "All the recipes in it are erroneous. They're meant for those who are practising for their Masters, or Mistresses, like you are - the whole point is to find as many errors as possible and correct them."

"Oh?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Then she smiled a bit. "Then I have some very fun time ahead, I guess."

"Whatever," he chuckled. "But come for dinner before continuing to the next recipe, okay? It'll be served in half an hour."

"Okay," she said, and smiled. "I'll be ready then."

-*-*-

"Cione Chang," Sirius read from the newspaper. "Thomas Crabbe. And Melissa and Jonas Darkholm, William Goyle..." The list went on and on. At last he reached the last lines, reading them, "Severus Snape, Lucia Snape, Teresha White, Rosalyn Yvelwa and, oh my, Sybill Zerann-Black." He snorted. "I always knew Sybill was useless."

"Snape?" James echoed. "Oh, well. I guess we knew it already, right? That greasy git was good for nothing, and now he's nothing for good..." He laughed.

Sirius flinched a bit at his friend's words, but fortunately managed to hide it, and even fake a chuckle at James's words. "Right," he said, trying to keep his voice light and cheerful. "He was just as bad inside as he looked like." 'Or just as good,' he thought, but definitely didn't say it aloud. "Anyway," he said then, "where's Remus?"

"He? He got up at least an hour before you did," Lily replied cheerfully. She was currently busy preparing some breakfast for Sirius and James, the two Marauders bound to wake up late every morning, in the tiny kitchen of her and James's. They had got married right after graduating from Hogwarts, and Remus and Sirius were currently staying in their house. "He ate his breakfast, read the Prophet, and went away. He looked somehow distracted, though," she added then.

"Not too surprising," Sirius said gloomily, glancing at the list where the name "Sarah Lupin" caught his eye immediately. "Maybe I'd better go and have a talk with him."

"Maybe," James said, shrugging. "But I'd suggest you eat your breakfast at first."

Sirius did so. After he was done, he thanked Lily - he might be mischievious and immature at times, but no one could say he couldn't behave if he wanted to - and went to see Remus.

He walked to the door of Potters' tiny library. Remus was bound to be behind it; he spent a lot of time going through all the books - especially the Muggle ones Lily had got from her family. He took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped inside.

When he saw his friend, he felt his heart shattering into tiny pieces.

Remus sat on a couch, looking blank. There was not even the slightest hint of emotion on his face. His mood, however, could be well seen from the knife he held in his right hand, the blade placed on his left wrist in an experimenting way.

"Remus," Sirius said breathlessly, his voice barely more than whisper. "Don't. Don't do it."

The werewolf raised his eyes very, very slowly. "Why not?" he asked dryly, and there was a coldness in his voice that Sirius had never heard before. Not the coldness of hate, but of loneliness.

"It's not the right choice." He walked to his friend and sat next to him. Then he carefully removed the knife from his hand. At first Remus resisted, but then he let go. Sirius threw the knife away in disgust. "Don't you ever, ever even think about that," he pleaded, grasping the other man's hands. "You're needed, Remus. You're loved."

"Right," he replied with a whispering voice. "Needed by whom? Loved by whom?" His expression was now a stunning mix of pain, confusion and sorrow.

"Remus," Sirius said quietly, "who of them it was?"

His friend didn't reply, but he felt a shiver going through the werewolf's body. In this situation, it was an answer better than any words ever.

"Yes, I know," Sirius continued talking as he didn't get a voiced response to his words. "I saw it on your face, I saw your eyes, Remus. I recognized the look in them."

"Recognized how?" the werewolf asked bitterly, avoiding his gaze. "What do you know about this kind of loss? When have you met a person who has lost his heart to the Dark?"

"I've never met one," he replied truthfully. "But I do own a mirror."

Remus shot his amber eyes back to meet his sapphire ones. "You?" he said sharply. "You too, Sirius?"

The Grim Animagus merely nodded. "Yes, me too," he replied, sadness creeping into his voice. "It seems to be a bad habit to us, doesn't it?"

"Don't try to joke, Sirius," Remus hissed. "I'm not in the mood for that." He looked a bit distant for a moment. "Who it is for you?" he asked then, half curious, half doubtful.

Instead of saying the name, Sirius reached to his collar. He slipped his fingers under his shirt and then drew up a thin chain. There was a tiny, black glass bottle hanging on the chain. He turned the bottle around and showed it to his friend.

Slowly, a dry smile came back to Remus's face. "Just like you," he sighed, "to fall in love with your worst enemy. And very unlike you, to carry his Soul Potion around even after his falling to the Dark Side."

"I have my reasons," Sirius replied quietly. Then he took the bottle in his palm and looked at it. There was some black-purple liquid inside. A face reflected from the liquid, but it wasn't his. It was the face of his only love ever, obsidian eyes as sharp as usual, raven-black hair surrounding a pale face. He sighed and let the Soul Potion of Severus Snape slide back to its usual place under his shirt.

"You wanted to know who it is for me," Remus said after a moment of rather uncomfortable silence. Without waiting for a reply he went on, "I don't think I'm any better than you. You and your worst enemy. Me and the worst enemy of us all."

Sirius blinked. He couldn't possibly mean...

Remus noticed his gesture and simply nodded. Then he grasped the golden necklace he always wore around his neck. He fiddled with the round pendant, and suddenly it snapped open. He then showed Sirius what was inside.

Sirius took a deep breath. On the left side he saw a lock of smooth, platinum hair. On the right side was a photo of a man with a firm expression and that blonde hair. Lucius Malfoy.

Remus snapped the pendant back closed and let it fall from his hands to hang on its chain. His eyes were looking somewhere in the distance.

Sirius placed his hand on the werewolf's arm. "I'm sorry", he whispered carefully. "I'm so sorry for you."

"I think I always knew it," Remus replied with blank voice. "I knew how interested he was in the Dark Arts. And still I hoped - I hoped he could return before it was too late. I returned. It seems that he fell."

"You returned?" Sirius echoed warily. "What do you mean?" He stared at his friend, and shocking realization suddenly hit him. "You - Remus, were you involved in Dark Arts?"

"I still am," Remus replied bitterly. "If you didn't know it before, werewolves are Dark creatures." Then he sighed. "In the way you mean? Yes. I was fifteen, and desperate to know more about the powers that made me what I was - what I still am. And he was there, the Potions Assistant, young and tempting Lucius Malfoy - and horribly fond on the Dark Arts.

"I asked him about them. And somehow, we ended up practising those spells together. While that, we also fell in love.

"But then, slowly at first, he seemed to go much further than I could have ever gone. Using Unforgivables on beings other than humans wasn't enough for him - for me it was, and believe it or not, I could still cast any Unforgivable even in my dreams - but he was interested in those attacks against Muggles and Muggleborns. I tried to keep him away from Death Eaters and their actions.

"For some time, it seemed that I managed. On my seventh year, I stopped practising any Dark curses, and he promised me he had stopped it as well." Remus was quiet for a moment. Then he added bitterly, "I see that I was wrong."

Sirius didn't know what to say at first. Then he placed his hand on the werewolf's shoulder, saying softly, "I'm so sorry, Remus. But really, you should have told somebody - I'm sure we can help you - you don't have to think about suicide, Remus. We'll just tell the guys what's upsetting you so much, they're getting worried, and then -"

"I won't tell anyone, and neither will you," Remus said, pointing a wand at him. Before he could do anything, his friend smiled apologetically and whispered, "Obliviate."

***

Sirius sat up on his bed, panting like he had ran up and down all the stairs in Hogwarts. He remembered every little detail about his dream. He even remembered the little pearls of blood on Remus's wrist when the knife had broken the pale skin.

"Mm-hm... What's it now, love?" Severus asked, blinking sleepily. "Another nightmare about Azkaban?" Sirius felt the long, thin fingers of his lover grasping his shoulder, comforting him.

"No," he sighed. "Just a memory. Just a memory that returned to me."

"A memory?" Severus yawned, sounding half interested. "What was it about, love?"

"It was during the First War," Sirius said darkly. "When the lists of those who had left to the Dark Side were first published in the Prophet."

"Yes?" Severus asked warily, raising himself into a sitting position next to Sirius. "Sirius... You knew that I was already a spy in that point, right?"

"Right..." He took a long breath, trying to soothe himself. "It was... it was about Remus. I seemingly found out who he had been in love with, and he Obliviated me..." He bent his head down. "Severus - I found him considering suicide."

Severus took a sharp breath. "Yes?" he then said, embracing him warmly. "Why are you so shocked, love? I don't mean that it wasn't horrible, nothing like that, I love Remus like a brother and you know that - but I mean, you've known about his attempts before, right? Why does this particular memory disturb you so much?"

"You don't understand," he whispered. "Only a week after that - that occasion I just remembered - he tried to kill himself for the first time, Severus. He was on the verge of death, and for a week everyone was sure we had lost him. If I had known -"

"But you didn't, since he had Obliviated you," Severus interrupted. "There was nothing you could possibly have done, Sirius, love. He didn't want you to know, so you didn't know."

"I could have fought the charm!" Sirius said angrily - he was not angry at Severus, but at himself. "I am able to fight Memory Charms, Severus. You know that. If I had been stronger, I could have helped him in time!"

"Stop that, love," Severus sighed. "Believe me, Sirius, you couldn't. Memory Charms from people close to you are much more difficult to fight than other ones. And you were young back then, Sirius, young and weaker than nowadays - there was no way you could have fought his charm."

"I still feel guilty, Severus. Remus is my best friend, and I'd do almost anything for him. I feel so bad about the fact that I knew for a while and wasn't able to prevent at least some of his pain!"

"Sirius!" Severus exclaimed. "There was nothing you could have done! He refused accepting your help, and you have nothing to be sorry about! And even if you had known, do you really think you'd have managed to talk him out of it?"

"Of course!" Sirius said desperately. "Remus isn't stupid, Severus, if he had only listened to me -"

"You tried to talk to him last time," Severus interrupted with a dry tone, "and it didn't work then. Why would it have worked back then, when the situation was even worse? His Lycanthropy makes him more inclined to suicidal attempts than people usually are, Sirius. You know that. You have to simply accept it and be grateful that he hasn't managed yet!"

Sirius was quiet for some time. Then he sighed deeply. "Right," he said. "And I am grateful, really. But I just hope he hadn't had to go through so much."

"So hopes every one of us, love," Severus reminded him gently. "Besides, according to his owls, he's more than happy right now. He has friends, he has a loving husband, and now he has also Olivia - whom I am looking forward to meet, by the way."

Sirius smiled dryly. "I bet you are." Then he sighed once again. "Maybe I should try to sleep, then," he said. "There's no use to cry over spilt potion."

"Right," Severus said and smiled sleepily. "Just sleep now, love." He pulled Sirius determinedly back down to the bed.

Within mere minutes they were both asleep, closed in each other's embrace.