Knights of Hogwarts

The Ducks galloped out of the portrait hole toward the Great Hall. Once again, the Ducks received confused stares. The Ducks also started to hum the theme of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which resulted in even more confused stares.

Finally, the Ducks reached their destination- the Great Hall. (Dramatic music plays in the background.) Anywho, Harry grabbed a goblet, and poured some pumpkin juice into it. Then, the Ducks galloped toward Snape's dungeons. Once again, they received more confused stares. (The dramatic music stops.)

The Ducks congregated around the door of Snape's dungeon. Just then, Ron yelled, "Holy shit! I forgot the pumpkin juice! Wait for a few minutes while I get it." As everyone groaned, Ron said, "Come, my faithful Ginny!" Then, he galloped up the steps, while Ginny ran behind him, banging coconuts.

Everyone else stood around Snape's door, humming the theme of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. After about five minutes, Ron returned, carrying the goblet full of pumpkin juice.

Harry knocked on Snape's door. Snape opened it, looking as bitter, callous, and ugly as ever. "What do you want?" he barked.

Dignified, Harry replied, "We are on a quest, which was appointed by Carl the Shrubber. In our quest, we must give you a goblet full of pumpkin juice. Sir Ronald the -not- as- brave- as- Sir Gred, hand Professor Snape the goblet."

Ron handed Snape the goblet. Snape's dark eyes darted from Harry, to Ron, then to the goblet, back to Harry, back to the goblet, then on Harry again, then to the goblet, to his shoes, then on Harry. All of the sudden, Snape stuck his thumbs under his armpits (Like how one would place their arms when imitating a chicken,) cocked his head upright, and started lifting his feet up toward his knees. Meanwhile, he was singing, "I like meatloaf! Meatloaf is good! Meatloaf is tasty! Beautiful, yummy meatloaf!"

The Ducks backed away from the strange professor, in fear of injury.

"Holy shit, what's wrong with him?" roared Ron.

"I have no clue." answered Fred, who was watching Snape as if he had just started singing about meatloaf. (Which, he was. Never mind, then.)

"Let us go back to the common room!" Harry ordered, just as Snape decided to add a tap- dancing rhythm to his ballad.

The Ducks galloped back toward the Gryffindor common room. Once again, they received bewildered stares. When they reached the common room, they flopped onto the comfy chairs, panting.

"Dude, what just happened?" asked George, panting.

Suddenly, Carl the Shrubber reappeared. "The goblet caused Snape to do what he did. I gave you this quest for a single purpose."

There was a long pause. After a few moments of silence, Hermione asked, "Well, what was the point?"

There was another long pause. Carl the Shrubber seemed to be at a loss for words.

Outraged, Harry stood up and roared, "Listen, Carl, I..." he paused. "Can I call you Carl?"

"I don't know. Can you?"

"Hey, you know what I mean."

"What makes you so sure that I know what you mean?"

"All I was asking was-"

"For all I know, I could have thought that you meant that you like purple elephants."

Harry paused. "How did you know that I like purple elephants?"

Carl eyed Harry's pajamas, which had pictures of purple elephants on them. Until then, Harry had forgotten that he put his robes over his pajamas. (See the very first paragraph of this Fanfic to see what I mean.)

Everyone, excluding Harry and Carl, shouted, "Get on with it!"

Harry sighed. "Okay, let me rephrase that. May I call you Carl?"

"Of course you may," replied Carl, politely

"Okay, good. Hey Carl, do you like Quidditch?"

Annoyed, Hermione said, "Carl, what was the point of our previous quest?"

Carl thought about that. "I honestly cannot remember. But anywho, I have a new quest for you- to gather some minstrels for Sir Ronald, the not- as- brave- as- Sir Gred. (Dramatic music plays again.) Suddenly, the tortoise vanished.