Knights of Hogwarts

Chapter 3

After Harry "knighted" Ron, he "knighted" Sir- Who- Will- Not- Be- Appearing- In- This- Fanfic. (Yay!) Anywho, when his knights were "knighted," King Harry of Hogwarts provided his men with horses. We all know that Dennis was the king´s noble steed. Dennis´ brother, Colin, served as Hermione´s steed. Ginny served Ron, Dobby served Fred, and Professor Flitwick served George.

"What do we do, now that we´re knights and stuff?" asked Fred.

Everyone was silent. After standing around and doing nothing for about ten minutes, Ron yelled, "Banana!"

Everyone repeated him. "Banana!"

"Knights and steeds, let us go to the Gryffindor Common Room!"

So, they all galloped to the Gryffindor Common Room. They received even more weird stares, because there were five kids galloping, and five other people running around while banging coconuts.

The group approached the portrait of the fat lady, and shouted, "Cookie!" Then, they entered the common room.

"Knights and steeds," ordered King Harry, "We need something to call our group. A.. A.." Harry couldn´t think of the word.

"Title?" guessed Hermione.

"Yeah, that´s it!"

"Hey," bellowed Fred, "I´m supposed to the one that´s at a loss of words!"

"Not in this Fanfic." said George.

"Anywho, what should our title be?"

The group sat stupidly, without any ideas. After about a half an hour of sitting, Hermione shouted, "The Ducks!"

"Yeah," said Harry, "We will call ourselves the Ducks!"

So, the Ducks discussed important ducky affairs. (Don´t even ask what those affairs are. Even I, the author, don´t know what the Ducks would discuss.)

All of the sudden, a blinding light appeared above the Ducks. Ron looked directly into the light, then ran around screaming, "Holy shit! I can´t see!"

Everyone else shielded their eyes until the light became dimmer. Finally, after about twenty minutes of shielding their eyes, the Ducks could make out a huge animated tortoise floating above them. (By now, Ron had calmed down a wee bit. He stopped running around like an idiot, but he was still screaming, "Holy shit! I can´t see!")

As I was saying before I described Ron, a bigass tortoise was floating above the Ducks. He was wearing sunglasses and orange spandex pants.

"Dude, what´s going on?" asked Fred.

"Yeah, dude, who are you?" asked George.

The tortoise replied, "I am a shrubber. My name is Carl the shrubber. I grow, design, arrange, and sell shrubberies."

The Ducks stared at Carl the Shrubber blankly.

"Anywho, I have a quest for you- to seek the goblet of fire!" (Dramatic music plays in the background.)

The Ducks continued to stare at Carl the Shrubber. Except now, their mouths were hanging open. Ron and Hermione were also starting to drool.

Carl noticed that the Ducks were speechless. "What?" he asked. (The dramatic music stops playing.)

"Dude," answered King Harry, "The goblet went out last year. It won´t work again for another four years."

"Damnit!" shouted Carl the Shrubber. "Well, in that case, I shall out you on another quest- to give a goblet filled with pumpkin juice to Professor Snape! (Dramatic music plays in the background again.)

"Dude, that´s easy!" exclaimed Hermione.

Ron stared at Hermione. "Dude, Hermione said dude!"

"That´s right. I said dude!"

"Anywho," continued Carl the Shrubber, "You are to give a goblet full of pumpkin juice to Snape."

Harry was skeptical. "What´s the catch?" he asked.

"I´m going to continue to give you quests, so you can prove yourselves worthy."

The Ducks pondered that for a moment. If they found any of that confusing, they didn´t show it. Instead, they said, "Okay, that´s cool." (The dramatic music stops playing again.)

"Okay." said Carl the Shrubber. "Well, then. Get on with it!"

Suddenly, the giant tortoise vanished. As everyone else got ready for their quest, Hermione asked Ron, "I thought you couldn´t see."

Ron shrugged, "I wasn´t that bad, really. I must have gotten better."

"Um, okay."