A House Party... Wizarding Style

T h e F i r e P o k e r

     "Moony? Moony? Remus mate, can you hear us?"

     "I dunno Padfoot, are you sure this works?"

     "Of course I am you idiot...wait! Here he comes!"

     A dirty blonde head appeared in the fire, followed by blue eyes, which were gazing with interest at James. "James!" Remus Lupin exclaimed, smiling at him. "Padfoot!" he added, seeing Sirius, who quickly shoved James out of the way to say hello.

     "Hey Moony! Listen, can you come over? We're at James' house, and...well...you knew that." An awkward silence followed this statement. Moony nodded and motioned for him to go on. "Well...anyway...we're alone for two whole days! I know it's new moon...so couldn't you come over? Can you Apparate?"

     Remus grinned. "Sure! I'll Apparate right now. I mean...actually...I'll have to ask my parents...but I'm sure they'll say yes!"

     James shoved Sirius out of the way, causing Sirius to bump into a nearby table, knocking the floo powder jar onto his head. "Oops..." commented James, watching, deeply amused, as Sirius wiped shattered pieces of pot (floo powder pot!) and floo powder off of his face. "Anyway...come as soon as you can Moony!"

     Remus nodded, then James pulled his head out of the fire. He experienced a few moments of dizziness before his vision righted itself. He then turned to Sirius, who was standing up and glaring at him. "That was not nice Prongs..." said Sirius, sounding annoyed.

     "Yes, well, convincing my mother that I am a druggie was not nice either, Padfoot," commented James airily, giving a honey-sweetened smile.

     "Yeah Potter, why don't you just shove me into the fireplace while your at it, grab some floo powder, and yell ‘HELL!'"

     "Good idea Black, why don't I...." said James, taking a few menacing steps towards Sirius. Sirius's face went pale.

     "Prongs! Prongs! I was joking! Wait...wait...what are you doing with that?" he ended with a squeak, looking at the fire poker that James had just picked up. James cracked an evil grin, and began to advance, holding it out in front of him. Sirius backed into the table, and promptly fell over it. James burst out laughing, looking at his friend lying sprawled on the floor, looking terrified.

     "I thought you had lost it!" exclaimed Sirius, looking stricken. He then glared at James, got to his feet, and then launched himself at him.

     "What're you...OW! Padfoot! Calm down! OUCH! Not the foot! Not the foot! Stop, stop, I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

     Sirius folded his arms like a rebellious four year old. He was currently sitting on James' back, who's face was pressed deeply in the carpet. James turned his face to the side and spat out a few hairs from the carpet.

     "Damn my mother and her love of shag carpets!" he muttered, spitting out more fluff. Sirius smirked.

     "Apologize," he said stubbornly. "Then I'll get off of you."

     "Padfoot..."

     "APOLOGIZE!" yelled Sirius, grinning, as he stuck his elbow into James' back. James sighed. "Oh alright, I...."

     But what exactly he was no one would ever find out, because right then there was a loud CRACK, and Sirius collapsed on top of him.

     "Argh...sorry Sirius..." came a voice from somewhere above Sirius. "I can't really aim with Apparating..."

     "S'alright Moony..." said Sirius thickly into James' back.

     "Gdahehloffameh!" said James from deep in the carpet.

     "Sorry?" asked Remus, sounding puzzled. "Didn't catch that."

     "Gedaheloffamehhhhhh....!" said James again.

     Remus folded his arms. "I'm not getting off until you tell me!"

     Sirius groaned. "James..." he said into James' hair. "Tell ‘im!"

     There came a muffled crack from the kitchen, which none of the boys noticed, being slightly preoccupied with trying to buck Remus off.

     "Mnycodyoujasgetofameh?" asked James politely.

     Remus looked utterly superior. "Ha! I'm not getting off of you until you...er...hello Mrs. Potter...er...I just...just arrived..."

     "Olyhit!" came a voice from under Sirius. Mrs. Potter looked shocked.

     "Are you...what are you...JAMES?!?!?"

     "Huhimum..." said James. "Disisotutitooksike!"

     A worried Mrs. Potter looked at Remus for help. "What did he say?"

     For answer, Remus quickly got off Sirius, who jumped off of James immediately, wiping off his mouth. James stood up, spitting out some white hairs, and turned to face his utterly confused and shocked parents.

     "Um...hi Mum...dad...." he said weakly. His mother, however, was looking at his right hand, and was uttering what sounded like a string of small screams.

     "What?" asked James, looking down. "Oh my god..."

     James was still holding the fire poker. "Oh dear," he muttered.

     "James, we need to talk," said his father seriously, ushering him out of the room.

     Sirius snickered, and Remus smirked. "Bye bye Jamsie..." commented Sirius under his breath. On James' way to the door, he socked him. "Ow! Is Jamsie-wamsie in a wot of troubie?" asked Sirius, grinning like a maniac. James hit him again, then looked pointedly at the fire poker. Sirius shut up.

     James followed his parents out of the room, looking as though he were going off to be executed. At last, they stopped in the kitchen, and his mother turned to face him.

     "James," she said, looking concerned. "I know we haven't always been available, you know, to talk to you, but you know you can tell us anything, right dear?"

     James grimaced. This conversation had barely started and it was already taking a very bad direction...

     "You mother and I were wondering..." said Mr. Potter, looking at his wife, who squeezed his hand. "If you...if you were...you know...interested in...people other than...girls."

     James' mouth fell open. "What?" he asked feebly. If he had been expecting anything, it wasn't this.

     "Well, dear,"said his mother, looking at him seriously. "You always hang out with....you know...Sirius, and now he's living with us...and we were just curious of if you two...you know..."

     James stared. "NO!!!!" he exclaimed, looking stricken. "What...where...how...did you...I...no!"

     "Oh," said his mother, looking thoroughly relieved. "Of course not, dear... We knew all along that you were straight! We were just curious!"

     His father smiled, looking happier. "Well, getting back to business...your mother and I have decided that we are going to stay an extra day in Germany, so you and Sirius will just have to deal with staying longer..."

     James tried to keep the excitement off of his face. "Yeah, well...isn't getting late?"

     "It's...er...ten o'clock in the morning dear..." said Mrs. Potter looking concerned.

     "Yes, well, don't want to keep those Germans waiting, do you?" he asked, whisking them out of the room. "Now, have a nice trip, and don't worry, we'll be fine!" said James. "Bye!"

     "Yes, bye dear..." said his mother looking confused. Both of them then disappeared with a CRACK.

     James slumped against the door. "Jesus..." he muttered. Then, Sirius strolled into the room, taking large steps, shoulders thrown back, nose in the air.

     "Oh dah-ling...I just love that color on you!" exclaimed Sirius, throwing his arms around James' neck. "Why don't we go decorate a big cake? Just for me? Please?" Sirius gave James big puppy-dog eyes, and batted his eyelashes.

     Sirius then leaned forward, eyes closed, lips pursed. James socked him in the mouth.

     "JAMES! THAT WAS NOT AT ALL WHAT I EXPECT FROM MY BOY—OW!"

     Remus had just jabbed Sirius in the back with the fire poker. "Don't touch me with that thing!" yelled Sirius, backing into James. "Help me James darling! Help me!"

     "You're sick," said James, shoving him in the direction of the fire poker. Sirius screamed. "NOOOO!!! James!! NOT THE FIRE POKER!!"

     James cackled, and high fived Remus. And missed.