Rating:
R
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
James Potter Remus Lupin Sirius Black
Genres:
Humor Action
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 06/30/2003
Updated: 04/13/2004
Words: 9,674
Chapters: 7
Hits: 3,886

A House Party... Wizarding Style

Dementors Anonymous

Story Summary:
At age sixteen, James and Sirius are left alone in James' house for seventy-two hours. The horror. The chaos. The bloodshed. The spells gone wrong. The amazing amount of bunny ears. Also featuring Lupin As A Dining Room Chair and a Very Very Very Very Drunk Sirius making snow angels. (WHEEE!!!)

A House Party... Wizarding Style 01

Posted:
06/30/2003
Hits:
951
Author's Note:
Warning: This is a challenge fic. Any strange, unnatural, or otherwise scary images in this fic are from the minds of my friends. Example: Sirius in Bermuda shorts in winter. Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid. Enjoy!

False Accusations

     "James? Sirius? JAMES! SIRIUS! BOYS! GET DOWN HERE!"

     James Potter looked at his best friend, Sirius Black. "Damn," he muttered. "Caught again..." Sirius shook his head, his messy hair flying.

     "Let's just...not go down then?" Sirius suggested meekly. James surveyed his friend over his glasses. Sirius grinned sheepishly as James gave him a severe look. "Well, it was just a suggestion..."

     Both boys winced as Mrs. Potter's voice rang out once more. "BOYS!! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

     "We are in such deep..." Sirius began, but James cut him off.

     "Trouble."

     Sirius nodded as though this were exactly what he was going to say. "Right," he said. Both of them looked at each other and exchanged a knowing look. "Well, let's just get it over with then..." muttered Sirius.

     With a huge CRACK, both boys disappeared simultaneously.

     CRACK!

     "AHHHHHHH!!!!!"

     "Oops...sorry mum...we didn't know you were making pie there..."

     James jumped off the counter where he had accidentally Apparated. "Where's Sirius?" he asked, looking around.

     "He didn't come with you, dear?" his mother asked, looking concerned (James thought that this was mainly for the pie he had just landed in).

     "Well, I though he-" James was cut off by a loud knocking on the front door. "What on earth..." he muttered, walking to the front hall and opening the door. The next moment, he was breathless with laughter.

     Sirius was standing in the doorway, looking positively livid. Twigs were sticking out of his messy hair, and he had two bloody scratches down his face. The rest of him was covered in spiky rose bush stems, and a few nettles were sticking out of his shoes. He glared at James.

     "That was not funny!" he exclaimed. James was now on his knees, clutching his stomach in mirth.

     "Can you...can you...you should see yourself!" he choked. Sirius looked down at himself, and a smirk crossed his face before he frowned.

     "This bloody hurts..." he commented, with the air of someone commenting on the weather. James got up, still laughing, and led his friend to the kitchen, where his mother was waiting.

     "SIRIUS!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, running over. "What happened dear? Oh...my poor dear...oh you must be so hurt..."

     "No...Mrs. Potter...I'm really fine...I just...no, no, stop, I'll be fine..." Sirius feebly tried to fight off Mrs. Potter, but to no avail. James snickered.

     "Don't be silly dear, it won't take a moment." She waved her wand, and all the twigs and leaves vanished into thin air. "There we go, all better. Now, boys..."

     The two boys looked at each other with identical looks of horror. "Y-yes, Mum?" asked James, in a manner of asking someone what their method of torture would be. But before Mrs. Potter could answer, Sirius jumped in.

     "Mrs. Potter, my distinguished colleague James and I," he began, with a wave in James' direction. "Have discussed the matter throughly, and would like to present to you a full and humble apology. We have decided that-"

     Mrs. Potter cut him off. "That's nice dear, but in some places, like this house, going away for a holiday doesn't need an apology! It's a good thing dear. We enjoy ourselves."

     "Oh...is that right? Yes...yes of course you do..." said Sirius. "Sorry, bad childhood.," he muttered under his breath, smirking at James.

     "You're going on holiday?" asked James, looking at his mother, confused, as though she had just sprouted an extra head.

     "Er...yes dear...we told you a month ago, then three weeks ago, then last week, then last night..." she said, looking concerned. "Dear, are you on drugs?"

     There was a shocked silence, followed by a quickly stifled snigger from Sirius.

     "No, Mum! Why on earth would you think that??" James asked, looking shocked.

     "Yes, but, over this summer, you've been a bit..." his mother fished for the right word, "more...mischievous that usual. You know, it might be just because of Sirius being here, but..."

     Sirius stopped laughing. He frowned at James instead. "Yeah, mate, you have been weird this summer," said Sirius in a very serious manner.

     "What???" asked James, looking back and forth between them. "I never...Sirius...you know I'd never..."

     "Well, I dunno, but there was that dare last September about you sneaking..."

     "SIRIUS!!! Shhh...." said James hurriedly.

     "What dear?" asked Mrs. Potter, looking severe.

     "N-nothing mother...well...all right, so the guys and me smoked pot. So what?"

     Mrs. Potter fainted.

     "Um...Prongs? I think we just killed your mother."

     James shrugged. "Don't worry Padfoot, it happens all the time."

     "You mean...she dies all the time??" asked Sirius, looking terrified. "You mean...your mom's a...ZOMBIE???"

     James burst out laughing. "Are you high, Padfoot? What kind of pot have you been smoking??"

     Sirius grinned. "Heh. Just kidding," he said laughing. But his laugh was oddly strained, making James laugh harder. "Hey...shouldn't we...you know...do something? About your mum?"

     CRACK!

     "Dad!" said James, looking surprised. "Get off Mum!"

     Mr. Potter looked slightly bemused. "What James? What about your mother? I seem to be standing on something rather...dear!" He jumped off of Mrs. Potter, looking shocked. "Dear? Dear? Can you hear me?" He quickly pulled out his wand, and pointed it at her. "Ennervate!" he muttered.

     Mrs. Potter opened her eyes and looked around. "Yes...sorry...James...drugs...dear?"

     "WHAT??????" Mr. Potter roared, rounding on James.

     "Sorry dad, we were just..."

     "IS THIS TRUE?"

     "No! Of course not! We were just..."

     "FRAZZLING YOUR MOTHER OUT OF HER MIND! NOT AS THOUGH WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITH..."

     "DAD! It's fine. We were just winding her up, that's all. Right, Sirius?" asked James with a pointed look at Sirius.

     "Yeah...yeah...course we were." Mr. Potter raised an eyebrow. "No, really," said Sirius seriously. "We don't do drugs. That would be stupid. Besides, what did you want to tell us?"

     "Right," said Mrs. Potter, getting to her feet. "Sorry about that boys. Your father and I are going to leave right now for Germany. We are going to be back in two days, so be careful, and don't cause any trouble. This is big responsibility, and we trust you enough to let you take care of yourselves for two days and a night. But I want it clear," she said, glaring up at the two boys, both of whom were taller than her. "That if anything happens to this house, you will both be hearing from me. Understood?"

     Both of the boys gulped and nodded. "Yes Ma'am," they mumbled.

     "Good," she said, patting James on the shoulder. "See you in two days!"

     And with that, she Disapparated. Mr. Potter clapped James on the back. "Have fun boys!" he said with a huge wink, and then he Disapparated too.

     James and Sirius stared at the empty air where the two people had been. There was a silence. Both looked at each other.

     "EXCELLENT!" they exclaimed, high fiving each other and missing.

TO BE CONTINUED...


Next Chapter: Sirius and James teach Remus a new game. Hehehehee....