The Other Side: Thick and Thin (Book 1)

Additional Disclaimer: This chapter contains some lines lifted directly from, as well as some general ideas but not direct quotations from, Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone and Deathly Hallows. I do not own any of these.

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The morning of September first found Sirius Black fidgeting in the first floor drawing room, waiting for the rest of his family to come down. It wasn't that they were late. Rather it was that Sirius was early. It was perhaps the only time in his life that he'd been early for anything of his own accord, but he'd been so excited the night before that he'd woken up at four o'clock and not been able to fall back to sleep. He had read some of his Transfiguration textbook until six thirty, when he'd gone ahead and begun his preparations for the day.

Now he was pacing from one end of the gray and black rug to the other, because he hadn't been able to sit still for more than a minute or two at a stretch.

At seven fifty his mother appeared in the doorway. "Sirius," she said, stopping short when she noticed him, clearly astonished that he was already downstairs. "I just sent Kreacher upstairs to get you."

The house-elf popped into the room just then, Sirius's things along with him. He was wringing his hands and, Sirius assumed, getting ready to punish himself for failing to carry out his mother's order.

"I was already here, Kreacher," he told the elf. "Don't bother punishing yourself."

It wasn't that he particularly cared whether or not the elf hurt itself--in fact, it was quite funny to watch--but Walburga appreciated it when he was nice to it.

Orion appeared next, Regulus on his heels. "Ah, your school things are already down here," said Orion. "Are you sure you've packed everything?"

Sirius replied that he was, as he had already been packed for three days and checked again and triple checked at his mother's behest. He wasn't sure if she was really that concerned over him forgetting something or if she just had been running out of ways to distract him as September first approached and everything at home seemed to bore him. In recent weeks, Sirius had taken to setting up elaborate booby traps around the house using the supplies his father had bought for him in Diagon Alley in July and the additional ones he had bought when Bellatrix had taken him again in August. Originally Regulus and Kreacher had been his targets, and he had managed to get them with everything from buckets full of water that wouldn't dry to itching powder. His mother had tried to stop him, but his father and grandfather hadn't seen the harm.

That is, until Arcturus had accidentally sat in some of Sirius's Bulbadox Powder. There hadn't been any effects until later, as it only affected skin but had only touched his grandfather's robes. Arcturus must have been sprinkling the powder as he went, because no less than a law wizard, a witness, and two Wizengamot members had appeared to spontaneously burst into boils throughout the day. No one had known the cause, until Arcturus had gone to use the facilities and had broken into boils himself on a most uncomfortable part of his body.

After that, Walburga had any number of mundane tasks for Sirius to perform and re-perform at the slightest hint that he was bored, though Sirius had heard her quite sweetly repeat Arcturus's own words back to him about the lack of harm from boyhood pranks, before she'd agreed to keep her son entertained.

Regulus surveyed Sirius's things with a jealous eye. "Where's your owl?"

"Aquila decided to fly to Hogwarts. She didn't want to be in that cramped cage all day."

There was a snort from Walburga, and Sirius grinned. He had named his owl after the constellation Aquila both because it was in keeping with the Blacks' normal naming procedure and because it meant eagle. He'd found it incredibly funny to name her after an eagle when his mother had been so set on him getting an eagle owl. Indeed, his mother's red face the first time she'd ever heard him address the owl by her new name had been well worth his effort. If asked, Walburga Black would insist that she never snorted.

His grandfather's most sickeningly sweet tone came from the direction of the doorway. "Is something wrong, Walburga?"

"Why would something be wrong?" she asked, matching his tone and turning to stare at him.

He raised an eyebrow. "My dear woman, I am merely worried at the most alarming noise I heard."

He was exaggerating, of course. It had its intended effect as Walburga spluttered angrily and insisted that she had no idea what he was talking about. Sirius grinned at his grandfather behind his mother's back. No one could get under his mother's skin like Arcturus could. As soon as Walburga looked away from him, the older man winked at Sirius.

"I don't know why I bought this bloody thing," Orion was grumbling as he shrunk Aquila's cage so that it fit neatly just inside Sirius's trunk, on top of all the carefully packed items already inside it. "That owl has never used it."

"It wouldn't do not to have a cage. Other people would wonder at it," Walburga declared. "Besides, I bought it, not you."

Orion opened his mouth to respond, but his father beat him to it. "I believe I bought it, as every last Knut in that vault belongs to me until the day I die, which I'm sure will not happen nearly as soon as you would like. In any case, Aquila will be happy for her own private cage in the Hogwarts owlery."

"If Hogwarts is that bad, she could just stay here," came Regulus's petulant voice.

Everyone ignored him, as they knew he was simply jealous that his brother was going to Hogwarts and getting his own owl when Regulus himself could not.

Sirius nodded. "Yes, Grandfather put some special charms on her cage for me because he said owls can't get into the Slytherin dorms, so poor Aquilina needs her own private cage to get a break from all the other owls."

"Why can't owls get into Slytherin?" his brother asked.

No one answered because just at the same moment Walburga exclaimed, "Oh my, it's seven fifty-seven already! Quickly, everyone, gather your things. Quickly!"

Sirius had already gathered everything he was taking, so as his father, mother, and brother flitted around them, he stepped closer to his grandfather. Arcturus wouldn't be coming to the family breakfast, because it was more strictly for Pollux's immediate family, most particularly his grandchildren. Of course Grandmother Irma had sent an invitation along to Arcturus, as it was the respectful thing to do, but Sirius's two grandfathers really wouldn't have wanted to willingly sit in a room together for anything less than a wedding, birth, funeral, or Quidditch game.

For the first time since he'd received his Hogwarts letter a month and a half before, Sirius felt anxious about going to school and felt the prick of tears beginning behind his eyes. He held them back through sheer determination.

"Come, my boy, let's have none of that," said Arcturus, recognizing the sheen in his grandson's stormy eyes.

He placed his hand on Sirius's shoulder, and Sirius began to raise his arm to do the same, though his own hand wouldn't quite reach the man's shoulder. However, the next moment he felt himself being pulled forward. He resisted for a second out of confusion and the briefest of reactions that he must be falling, but then his grandfather's other arm went around his back. He realized with a jolt that the man was hugging him. He couldn't remember Arcturus ever having done that before. Before he got over his shock and was able to bring his own arms around his grandfather, the man had already pulled back and placed his second hand on Sirius's other shoulder. Matching gray gazes locked onto each other's, and Arcturus's mouth pulled upwards just slightly at the corners.

"You have worked very hard this past year," the older Black told him, "and I am sure that you will make your family proud."

Regulus appeared at his grandfather's elbow, his black eyes flashing with envy and his mouth twisted downwards into a frown.

"We're going to be late if you don't hurry."

With his last goodbyes said, Sirius stepped out into the foyer (the only point in the house from which one could Apparate outside) and gripped his father's arm as his brother grasped Walburga's.

The sensation of Apparition was much worse than when they had traveled to Diagon Alley, because Grandfather Pollux and Grandmother Irma's house was in Tutshill, in Gloucestershire, which was almost all the way to Wales. Sirius miserably tried to clutch at his chest for long seconds that felt like minutes, absolutely sure that his eyeballs were going to be sucked back into his brain and that his ears were going to implode. Then suddenly he landed hard on his feet and pitched forward, only stopped by his father's strong arm linked with his.

His parents disentangled from their children and rushed forward to greet his grandparents. Sirius stood in place with his head bowed, wanting a few seconds by himself so he could catch his breath and blink the water from his eyes before he faced everyone. Shiny black shoes come into his line of sight, stopping very close to him.

"When I turn eleven I'm going to have almost a whole year to train with Grandfather," said Regulus, his voice full of sneering condescension and low enough that the other occupants in the room couldn't hear. "I'll be better than you at everything, just like I'm better than you at Apparating."

It was true; Regulus had never had any problems with the sensation of Apparition, whereas Sirius had always struggled with it and thought that he probably always would.

"Maybe you will," he replied, not wanting to take the bait today of all days. He knew that his brother was just feeling bad about having to watch Sirius get to experience everything while he still had to wait for two more years before he could go to school.

But Regulus would not let it go. "I'll be the favorite then, and I'll get all the attention. We'll move you into the servant's quarters with Kreacher, and I'll get the biggest eagle owl there is and it will kill your stupid owl."

Regulus had never said any such thing to him before, and the threat to his familiar enraged Sirius more than any cruel words directed at him personally. When he spoke his own voice was full of malice, and when he met his younger brother's gaze his normally bright gray eyes had darkened to the color of a thundercloud.

"No matter what you ever do, I'll always be the favorite, because I'll always be smarter, handsomer, richer, and older. Grandfather will never hug you," he spat out nastily.

Regulus jerked backwards as though Sirius had hit him.

"Sirius!" shouted Pollux Black. Even though Sirius was quite used to his maternal grandfather's volume, he was so caught up in his altercation with Regulus that he was taken by surprise and jumped at the address. "Come let me look at you!"

Sirius trod on his brother's toe as he moved past him.

Even though Pollux had called him over, he stepped up to his grandmother first and put his arms around her as he kissed her cheek. Irma Crabbe was a large woman, so his arms didn't reach all the way around, and she had to lean down as he stretched on his tiptoes to reach her face. He didn't get to formally greet Pollux, because as soon as Sirius stepped out of his grandmother's embrace the man was speaking again.

"You look more like my father by the day," he boomed. "I'd recognize those cheekbones anywhere."

"He looks like my father-in-law," Walburga interjected.

Pollux leveled a glared at his daughter. "Well, where do you think my cousin got his looks? From the Weasleys?"

Walburga began to respond, but her father's loud voice easily drowned her out when he declared, "I bet Arcturus gave you those Muggle rags, too!"

The trouble with dressing for today had been that the clothing had to be something appropriate for his stuffy grandparents' formal breakfast yet also comfortable enough that he wouldn't mind wearing it for hours on the train. To make matters even more complicated, it had to be something suitable for Muggles to see, as they had to pass through the Muggle King's Cross Station to reach platform nine and three-quarters. His Grandfather Pollux and Grandmother Irma did not mix well with Muggle-appropriate attire. Or with Muggle-appropriate anything, for that matter. He was hardly wearing rags, but his grandparents would think that his black shirt and gray trousers were pitiful just for not being robes.

"Now, Pollux, you know that the Ministry doesn't like us to wear robes around the Muggles," Orion stepped in. He was dressed perfectly in gray trousers with a green shirt and Slytherin-style tie.

"In my day we didn't care what Muggles thought!" harrumphed Pollux.

"Soon enough we'll enjoy those days again." Bellatrix had stepped up to the group and wrapped her arm around Sirius's shoulders as she spoke. "But we won't fix the problem this morning, so perhaps we had better go ahead and step into the dining room."

Bellatrix was undoubtedly Pollux's favorite grandchild, Sirius's gender notwithstanding, because she was the one who most agreed with him. And by extension with Sirius's own mother, his eldest child. Therefore, he took her advice easily enough, and soon the family was crossing into the formal dining room and sitting at the heavy oak table.

Conversation revolved around Hogwarts, and there was a particular focus on what Sirius (and Evan, though no one paid much attention to him) could expect, as there always was when there was a first year in the family. This was despite the fact that they had all heard it multiple times already as his three cousins were preparing for their first years. Fortunately it didn't take long until the adults were reminiscing with one another and not paying very much attention to the children at all, and Sirius was able to hold a quiet conversation with his friend.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

"No," barked out Sirius, half laughing. "You?"

Evan smiled, less sheepishly than before. "Not a wink."

But all too soon they were interrupted by their Uncle Cygnus shouting, "What boy?"

All other conversations at the table came to an abrupt halt.

Both Sirius and Evan looked further up the table, to where everyone was staring as Narcissa blushed and Andromeda watched her sister with a guilty look on her face. Narcissa was even paler than most of the Blacks, and the red across her cheeks stood out starkly against her porcelain skin and blonde hair. Cygnus's own face was even redder than his daughter's, though with an impending fury rather than embarrassment.

"The Malfoy boy, dear," Aunt Druella informed him calmly. Her husband gaped at her, clearly surprised and unimpressed that she'd known about it.

Pollux's words drowned out whatever response his son might have been capable of making. "What about the Malfoy boy?" When no one answered immediately, he turned to his middle granddaughter and demanded, "You there, girl, tell me what you were talking about."

Andromeda shot another apologetic look at her younger sister before bravely meeting her grandfather's eyes. "I was just teasing Cissy about inviting Lucius to sit with her on the train, telling her that it's what she ought to do if she likes the boy."

"She doesn't like any boy!" roared Cygnus.

His wife shushed him and his mother spoke up for the first time to exclaim, "Oh hush! That's a very good match, Cygnus!"

Walburga ignored all of the commotion around her and addressed her niece directly, inquiring, "This is Abraxas's eldest son?"

Narcissa was too overcome with her father's reaction to answer. Cissy didn't like it unless everyone was pleased with her. At her father's glare, she ducked her head down even further, eyes staring intently at her plate now.

"It's his only son," Bellatrix stepped in for her sister. "His only child, in fact. He's friends with Rodolphus's younger brother Rabastan." Their father turned to look at her. "Same year, you know. I'm sure he's just as respectful of my sister as Roddy is to me."

Which was not at all what Cygnus would want to hear if he knew what really went on between his eldest daughter and her fiancé, Sirius thought, recalling the way the couple had snogged a few weeks earlier when Rodolphus had briefly met the two of them in Knockturn Alley. He didn't know a lot about kissing, but he certainly knew a lot more after that display.

But everyone else seemed to accept Bellatrix's statement at face value.

Walburga nodded thoughtfully, and Pollux said, "That is a good match, then. Old family, old money. Plus we haven't had a marriage between the families in centuries."

"Twelve generations," Walburga helpfully informed the table. She had memorized most of the Black family tree, as the tapestry that magically recorded it hung in Arcturus's personal drawing room at Grimmauld Place. "I haven't kept up with their family since Althea died, because she and Abraxas never had any daughters and he's never remarried...." she trailed off, but Sirius knew she was thinking that a pure-blooded family without daughters wasn't any use to her in marrying off her perfect pure-blooded sons. He rolled his eyes, though no one took any notice.

"He's a very nice boy," Narcissa finally spoke up, her voice so quiet that Sirius had to strain to hear her from his place further down the table. Then she looked up, and her voice grew stronger as she kept speaking, "We were partners in Potions and Herbology last year. He's very lonely at home since it's just him and his father there, so I've been writing him all summer. He was chosen this year to be the other Slytherin prefect, so I'm sure we'll be spending a lot of time together this year, too."

Bellatrix laughed. "And are you going to ask him to sit with you on the train?"

Cygnus's head swiveled back around so he could stare at his youngest daughter.

Narcissa's blush deepened, but she bravely said, "He already invited me in a letter last month, and I replied that I would."

"It's settled, then!" Druella exclaimed cheerfully. "You'll introduce us to him on the platform. And a prefect! How lovely."

"Mother," Narcissa said sternly, "you can't scare him off talking about marriage or what a good match it would be. We're only fifteen."

Grandmother Irma cried, "Nonsense! I was engaged to your grandfather when I was fifteen, and Walburga would have been engaged to Orion much sooner if he hadn't been four years younger."

What followed was an extended conversation about the Black family tree and memories of each of the adults' own marriages, which was really more a lecture that all of the children were expected to attend rather than a friendly chat. Sirius chanced a glance at Evan, who looked to be fighting to keep a grin off of his full lips. He couldn't hide the laugh in his eyes as his hazel gaze met Sirius's gray, though. For his part, Sirius was torn between laughing at his family himself and being embarrassed that his friend was witness to this particular conversation. Evan might be his aunt's nephew, but he wasn't a Black, and he usually wasn't present at such intimate family functions.

The uncomfortable conversation continued until the gilded monstrosity of a clock on the mantle struck ten o'clock, and the breakfast was declared officially over. The Hogwarts Express left the station promptly at eleven, but everyone, including the adults, liked to have time to mingle with other families on the platform. The family adjourned back to the main drawing room in preparation for their departure.

"Now, as everyone knows, this is Sirius's first year at Hogwarts," Pollux boomed across the room. "I see that you've already received your ring." Sirius wasn't sure if his grandfather's expression when he looked at the ring was one of pleasure or displeasure, but it only lasted a second before the man continued. "My family has its own traditions, and so your grandmother and I would like to give you this."

He snapped his fingers and a house-elf that Sirius hadn't noticed before approached him carrying a small box. He took it and opened it to reveal an elaborate silver-colored tiepin. It was shaped like a serpent, curling around in a sort of S-shape without being too obvious, with every scale carved out in exquisite detail so that it looked like it might come alive and slither away at any moment. Its eye was an emerald, the green standing out vibrantly against the silver.

"My father gave me one just like it, you see," said Pollux, and Sirius looked up as the man gestured to his own tie, where he noticed his grandfather's tiepin for the first time.

His Uncle Cygnus gestured to his tie as well. "Father gave me one before I left for Hogwarts, and Alphard has one, too."

Sirius noticed that his mother had to visibly work to keep herself from commenting on Alphard's absence from the family breakfast. He was glad she managed not to say anything, because it would have ruined the moment.

Instead, she rushed over to him and took the tiepin from its box before carefully positioning it in his tie. "There now, that looks very handsome," she declared as she ran her hands over him to smooth the non-existent wrinkles in his clothing.

Sirius thanked his grandparents, shaking his grandfather's hand rather formally but giving his grandmother another hug and kiss (which was much easier when she was sitting down), and then moved on to say goodbye to Bellatrix, who had no desire to go to King's Cross since she was neither a student nor a parent. She hugged him rather more forcefully than was proper.

"You should try to make friends with some of the older Slytherins," she told him quietly as the rest of the family said their goodbyes to each other. "I don't know of any important people in your year"--Sirius didn't interrupt even though he thought that she was being quite unfair to Evan--"but you should get Narcissa to introduce you to Rabastan and Malfoy in her year, and they can point you in the right direction."

Sirius assured her that he would, even though he sincerely doubted that anyone in fifth year would want to have much to do with a first year. He supposed that Bellatrix must know better than him, because she'd already finished Hogwarts and knew how things worked.

Then his uncle was yelling about the time and his mother was dragging him away as they prepared to Apparate to King's Cross, and Sirius only had one last glance at the rest of his family before he felt the familiar yet sickening tug of Apparition.

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"I still don't know why we can't just Apparate directly onto the platform," Aunt Druella was complaining as they trudged through the train station.

It must have been a rhetorical complaint, because no one bothered to respond to it as they made their way through the throng of Muggles towards platforms nine and ten.

Sirius had never really been around Muggles before, except for passing some of them on the street whenever they left Grimmauld Place by the front door, but that was very rare because they could just Apparate or Floo to wherever they needed to go. They all looked very normal, he thought, despite what his parents and grandparents frequently told him about all of them being uncivilized and dirty. He did see one man with tatty clothes and greasy, ratty hair pushing a cart full of what looked like trash, and that man smelled very bad like he hadn't had a bath in ages. But the other Muggles all appeared well kempt, and even the rest of them seemed to be giving the dirty one a wide berth.

There was the fact that none of them were wearing robes or hats, of course, but Sirius already knew that Muggles and wizards dressed differently. He and his family must have done a good job of dressing like they were supposed to, because they didn't seem to be attracting any more attention than Sirius was used to when he went out.

On the other side of the large space from his family, Sirius saw another wizard family pushing carts with their trunks and even their owl in its cage. They were attracting rather a lot of attention despite appearing to Sirius's eyes to be properly dressed. He wasn't sure why until he heard a snippet of conversation from some of the Muggles passing by him.

"...owl, how strange..."

He supposed Muggles must not keep owls as pets and determined that as soon as he met a Muggle-born he would ask how they delivered their mail. Surely Muggles had mail.

Soon enough they were standing between platforms nine and ten, and Sirius watched as his aunt, uncle, and cousins all disappeared onto platform nine and three-quarters.

"Now," said Orion, pointing at the barrier, "we just think about the platform on the other side and walk right through."

His parents began walking arm in arm, and Sirius and Evan fell into step beside them. He watched curiously as the barrier got closer and closer, though he wasn't anxious at all. He could not grow up around magic and still be the least bit suspicious when told that they wouldn't actually hit something as trifling as a brick wall. Sure enough, the wall seemed to shimmer and dematerialize all of a sudden, and all at once Sirius found himself standing on a crowded platform in front of a great scarlet steam engine. People were standing in groups all down the platform, some catching up with friends and others loading trunks onto the train.

The rest of the family was standing together just inside the entrance, and once Sirius and the others joined them they all started off towards the back of the train. Apparently there was something of an argument going on about Sirius himself.

"...already going to have a full compartment," Andromeda was saying.

Narcissa shot Sirius an apologetic look. "Us, too. Lucius and I have to spend the beginning of the journey in the prefects' carriage anyway, so he can't sit with us. After that, we'll be sharing a compartment with both my friends and his friends."

Sirius was a bit annoyed that neither of his cousins appeared to want to sit with him, but he didn't really feel that he needed them in the first place. He said as much.

"Besides," he added, "it would probably be a good idea to meet some people in my own year. Evan and I can sit together."

That decided, Sirius, Evan, and his parents walked further down the platform alone as Andromeda found her friends and the rest of the family was stopped by Narcissa so they could talk to two tall blond wizards, the younger of which was obviously this Lucius character that had caused such a commotion at breakfast. When they found an empty compartment two-thirds of the way down the train, Orion enlarged Sirius's trunk and levitated it onto the luggage rack above the seat. It was then that they realized they didn't have Evan's things.

"Uncle Cygnus has my trunk," he told Sirius's parents, who promptly decided that they would fetch it.

"You two stay here and make sure no one steals your compartment," Walburga told them. "Orion and I will go and say hello to Abraxas Malfoy, and we'll come back to say goodbye and bring Evan's trunk with us."

And so the two of them were left alone on the Hogwarts Express for the first time. The time passed quicker than Sirius would have thought as he and his friend laughed about what had happened at breakfast, occasionally sneaking glances out the window at the great meeting of Blacks and Malfoys happening on the platform, and then started talking about the upcoming year and what they could expect.

Evan was particularly nervous about the Sorting Ceremony. "What do you think happens?" he asked. "I tried to get the girls to tell me, but Bellatrix would only say that it's only slightly painful and only hurts for a few minutes."

Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "She was just teasing you. There's a copy of Hogwarts: A History in the library at home that says they sort using this old hat, plus when I asked him about it Grandfather told me that they just put it on your head and it yells out which house you're supposed to be in."

Evan frowned. "Why would she tease about that, though?"

"Belley's just like that sometimes," replied Sirius.

In truth, he knew that Bellatrix usually reserved her cruelty for people she felt were beneath her, and he was surprised that she included her cousin Evan in that group. Sirius had heard enough of his own mother's ranting and raving on the subject to know everything that was unsuitable about Evan Rosier, but he hadn't thought that Bellatrix would feel the same way given that her own mother was Evan's aunt.

"Do you have two seats available in here?" asked a boy who had come to stand in the doorway to their compartment. He was very skinny, with skin even paler than Sirius's and dull, dark hair that hung down around his face. There was a girl with bright red hair standing slightly behind him, peering around his shoulder into the compartment.

"Sure," replied Sirius, and the two newcomers moved into the compartment lugging their trunks behind them.

Sirius wondered why they hadn't just magicked them the way his father had done for him, but then again there were no parents in sight so perhaps their parents had just enlarged them to place them on the train. It took the new boy, Evan, and him working all together to get both of the heavy trunks into the overhead compartment. When they were finished, Evan offered a window seat to the girl, and her friend sat across from her, which left Sirius and Evan to sit closer to the door. Sirius opted to sit next to Evan instead of across the compartment from him so that they could converse more easily in case more people joined them.

"Thank you," the redhead was saying. "I'm Lily and this is Severus."

Sirius wondered why Severus couldn't introduce himself. It seemed very odd to him to be letting a girl do your talking for you, because it reminded him of the way his mother and father acted, except they were married so it was all right.

"Sirius," he introduced himself.

Evan smiled. "I'm Evan."

"Oh, how funny!" Lily let out a girlish giggle. "My last name is Evans!"

They were all laughing when Sirius's parents appeared back in the doorway. His father smiled happily at the scene before him, but Walburga did not smile. Her sharp eyes took in the newcomers with curiosity but no visible pleasure.

"We brought your trunk, Evan," Orion informed him, which brought the youngsters' laughter to an abrupt halt as they noticed the adults.

"Thank you, sir," the olive-skinned boy replied as Orion levitated his luggage onto the rack.

Walburga ignored her sister-in-law's nephew and turned to her own son. "Who are you new friends, Sirius?"

He was quick to perform the introductions. "Mother, this is Lily Evans and Severus--er, actually I don't know his last name. Lily and Severus, these are my parents, Orion and Walburga Black."

It was clear that Severus recognized the name, because he gaped at Sirius for a moment in surprise before regaining control of himself.

"Snape," he said, finally. "My last name is Snape."

Orion turned to look at his wife. "Snape? Isn't that--"

"Yes," she interrupted him, her thin lips pressing together in the way that Sirius recognized as displaying her displeasure, "that's the name of the Muggle Eileen ran away with."

She said Muggle as if she was speaking about a particularly disgusting bug, and Severus's face lost what little color it had held. Walburga either did not notice the boy's distress or did not care.

"So she had a son, did she?" She rather more spat it out than asked it. "I suppose one of her letters to me might have said that, but of course I threw them all into the fire instead of reading them."

Sirius was staring at his mother in open astonishment, while Severus was watching her with a frightening mix of fascination and embarrassment. Lily, for her part, was torn between sending sympathetic, worried looks to her friend and glaring angrily at the woman who had caused him distress. Evan didn't seem to know what to do, so he was looking at all of the occupants of the compartment in turn, an uncomfortable yet curious look on his face.

Orion took his wife's arm and used the authoritative tone of voice that Sirius knew might hold back Walburga's outburst if they were lucky.

"Yes, yes, it was a horrible falling out, very unfortunate," he said quickly, then looked visibly relieved as the train's whistle sounded loudly and interrupted him. "Ah," he said, once the noise had died down, "well we had better get off the train, my dear, unless we fancy repeating Hogwarts ourselves!"

He proceeded to facilitate extremely quick final goodbyes with Sirius and shepherd his wife off the train, though he couldn't stop her from telling Sirius one final time, as she was staring pointedly at Severus Snape, that he should remember to "make his family proud." Sirius knew that meant not making friends with a half-blood.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the compartment as the occupants varyingly looked around at each other and then broke off eye contact as soon as it was made. Sirius finally caught Evan's hazel gaze and felt his friend reach for his hand where it rested between them on the seat and squeeze it briefly before letting go. His courage restored, he turned to look at the ashen countenance of Severus Snape.

"I'm sorry about my mother," he said, but at just that moment Severus had also decided to speak and asked, "So you're a Black?"

They stared at one another for a few moments until Sirius realized that the other boy wasn't going to comment on his apology but expected an answer to his own question.

"Yes, obviously," he said.

Severus stared at him with hard black eyes. "Well, my mother always told me that you're a self-important, unpleasant bunch of snobs. I guess she was right."

Sirius felt an immediate swell of indignation and anger in his chest, and he wanted to take out his wand and hex the other boy. He was in a difficult position, he knew, because his mother had all but come out and attacked the other boy and he had every right to be upset, but at the same time Sirius couldn't help the anger he felt at his entire family being insulted. Not to mention he had apologized to Severus Snape, and it wasn't his fault at all if the other boy wanted to be a git about accepting it.

Using every bit of training his family had ever given him about not losing face in front of others, he kept his face as blank as possible and calmly said, "I don't think someone with rags like yours could be an authority on the subject, and I doubt your mother is either or she'd have been too embarrassed to let you leave the house looking like that."

He knew that he was playing into what Snape had said about him, but in the same stroke the boy had revealed that money and importancewas his own weak point, and Sirius had jabbed directly at it.

Evan laughed. Snape flushed and stood abruptly, storming out of the compartment with only the briefest of comments to his little girlfriend that he'd be back. Evan laughed even harder at that and at the way Lily was glaring at both of them. Sirius laughed too, pretending that he found it all funny instead of upsetting.

When the train began to move a few moments later, Lily turned her attention back out the window and started waving. Sirius presumed it was to her family. He knew that his own family would find it unseemly if he made such a display in front of others, so he stayed in his seat and didn't try and catch a last glimpse of them as the train pulled out of the station.

Just then the compartment door slammed open with a bang, and Sirius looked around warily, expecting it to be Snape. Instead it was a spectacled boy with supremely messy black hair and a large grin on his face, holding an enormous black cat.

"Can I sit here?" he asked. "Some sixth years kicked me out of my compartment."

Sirius and Evan gave their assent, but Lily never turned away from the window.

The boy sat across from Sirius and held out his hand. "Great, thanks! I'm James."

"Sirius." He took the boy's hand, and then watched as Evan did the same and introduced himself. Lily still didn't turn away from the window, and James stared at her in complete confusion for a moment before Sirius told him, "Don't bother," and he shrugged and sat back in his seat.

James quickly forgot the odd girl and turned his grin back on Sirius and Evan. "This is Broadmore." The cat looked up at its name, but then almost immediately went back to grooming itself.

"Broadmore?" asked Evan, shooting Sirius an amused glance.

"After the Beaters, of course!" James seemed offended that anyone would even have to ask the question.

Sirius returned Evan's look. "Why would you name your cat after those dunderheads?"

"Dunderheads!" James cried, looking mortally offended.

Evan finally let out the laugh he'd been holding in. "You'll have to excuse Sirius," he informed the other boy. "He isn't a fan of Falmouth."

James's offended look remained firmly in place, and Sirius cut in to inform him, "I'm a fan of Tutshill."

"The Tornados!" James crossed his arms. "I'll bet you're just a fair-weather fan. Nobody liked them until they started winning."

Sirius laughed then, and Evan let himself fall backwards against the seat as he laughed even harder than he had before. James looked between the two of them in confusion, but Lily still stubbornly refused to look away from the window.

"My grandfather owns the Tornados," Sirius finally informed the other boy in between laughs.

They were still laughing and good-naturedly arguing about Quidditch when the compartment door slid open again, this time much less forcefully than when James had come in. The three boys all ignored Snape's entrance. Sirius and Evan did so pointedly, and James was too busy discussing the state of the British and Irish League for the upcoming season to have paid him any mind. He went to sit beside the other window across from Lily, and Sirius noticed that the boy had changed out of the ratty clothes he had made fun of earlier and into his Hogwarts uniform, which was nowhere near the quality of Sirius's own but still in much better shape than his Muggle clothes.

Sirius didn't hear any of the conversation from the other side of the compartment, and he had nearly forgotten that Snape had even re-entered the compartment at all until James's head swiveled around to look at the other boy.

"Slytherin?" he asked with a frown. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" he directed his question to Sirius and Evan.

Sirius tensed, and he felt Evan's hand brush against his again in another show of comfort. Or perhaps in a silent request for Sirius not to start another fight with James like he'd fought with Snape.

Finally, Sirius replied, "My whole family have been in Slytherin."

"Blimey," said James, "and I thought you seemed all right!"

The Slytherin tiepin suddenly felt very heavy and like it might burn a hole through Sirius's clothes and touch his skin, even though he knew that was absolutely ridiculous and just his imagination. Evan's hand squeezed his tightly.

He grinned, deciding that he didn't want to bring his tally up to three enemies before he even got off the train.

"Maybe I'll break the tradition," he said flippantly, and Evan squeezed even harder in surprise. "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

James lifted an invisible sword.

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

Snape's snort was almost but not quite soft enough that the other boys didn't hear it. Sirius and Evan both bristled in anger, because anything Snape had said or done at that point would have been enough to set either of them off again. James beat them to the punch.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy--"

Sirius, quite tired of the smaller boy's insults, interrupted him and asked, "Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?"

He watched in satisfaction as the other boy flushed with anger once more. Evan laughed again and squeezed Sirius's hand again before letting him go, apparently thinking that the danger was finally over. James roared with laughter. Lily Evans finally turned her attention back to them for the first time since Snape had left the compartment earlier. She was almost as flushed as Snape, and she glared between James and Sirius in open dislike.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment," she said angrily as she rose to her feet.

Sirius thought that her attempt at sounding haughty paled in comparison to the tone of voice his mother used every day, with nearly everyone, and he wasn't impressed at all. He joined James in imitating her, because he knew that it would get under her skin. He watched James try to trip Snape as he attempted to exit the compartment, and Broadmore hissed at the movement of his master's lap and moved to fill Snape's vacated seat.

"See ya, Snivellus!" Evan called out as the boy slammed the compartment door shut behind him.

Sirius and James both laughed at the name.

"Good one!" James said.

The boys spread out more now that they were the only three people occupying the two long bench seats. James propped himself up against one wall and stretched his legs out along the length of the seat, briefly disturbing his cat and earning himself another hiss and a swipe at his newly bared foot. Sirius took one wall and Evan the other, their legs meeting in the middle.

"You'd better not push me off," Sirius warned, as his legs were on the outside of the seat and Evan's were against the backrest.

"I won't," his friend promised, though he playfully nudged at Sirius's legs. "Now, what do you guys think of the new Keeper over at Montrose?"

Conversation returned to Quidditch, the earlier altercation all but forgotten by the time the trolley came around offering refreshments, and the three boys spent the rest of the train ride in lively discussion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The enormous castle loomed above them, the bright glow from the hundreds of windows casting the many towers into shadow against the inky sky. After several mishaps and at least one person slipping and soaking his leg up to his knee in the lake, the first years had finally managed to clamber into a number of small boats and were making their way across the vast lake towards the castle. Or rather towards the cliff on which the castle sat.

Sirius, James, and Evan had snagged a boat together, though they were joined by a girl called Janice Edgecomb. She had been gazing at Sirius in undisguised wonder ever since she'd joined them, and though they were all cast in darkness now and couldn't see each other clearly, he could still feel her gaze on him as she chattered away about this and that. He just wished she'd leave him alone. And preferably shut up while she was at it.

"Heads down!" yelled the enormous, hairy man who had corralled all of them into the boats. Sirius ducked his head as they went through a curtain of ivy and underneath the cliff. If he had to duck his head to fit, he wondered how on earth that huge man was fitting under here. Surely he had to lie down in his boat to fit under the cliff? Sirius looked around to see if he could tell, but he couldn't.

They disembarked in a cave that must serve as the harbor for the boats, then climbed up a path that was hewn out of the rock until they reappeared on the surface near the castle's giant front doors. The man--he must be a half giant at least, Sirius thought--banged on the wooden door three times, and it finally swung open to reveal a short, enormously fat wizard with graying blond hair and a huge mustache.

The first man introduced him as Professor Slughorn, and then he led them through an enormous entrance hall with a grand marble staircase and into a small room where they all had to crowd together to fit comfortably.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor Slughorn. "You are about to take part in the Sorting Ceremony, and then we will have a feast to celebrate the start of the new school year. There are four houses--Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin--each with its own history and traditions. No one house is better than another--" Here Evan had to disguise a snort as a cough, and Sirius knew that he was thinking about how the lineages of Slytherin house were superior to any other house. The professor paused and chuckled good-naturedly.

"You should think of your house as your surrogate family while you are here. You will live with your house, attend classes with your house, cheer for your house Quidditch team (and maybe even play for it), and spend your free time in your house common room. Furthermore, your good deeds will earn points for your house, while your bad deeds will cause your house to lose points. The house with the most points at the end of the year will win the house cup."

"Are there any questions?"

Sirius could feel a ripple of tension move through the crowd so he knew there were questions, but no one was brave enough to speak up and ask one. Sure enough, as soon as Professor Slughorn had told them that they had a few minutes to freshen up and exited through a different door than the one they'd come in through, whispering broke out among the other first years.

"...wonder what we have to do..."

"...if none of the houses are right?"

James nudged him. "Can you believe how afraid they are of a little old hat?"

Evan leaned around Sirius to reply, "Well, not all of them are pure-bloods, you know. I'll bet some of them have no idea what even happens in the Sorting Ceremony."

Sirius stamped down the urge to remind Evan that he hadn't known either until this morning when Sirius had told him, because Evan was his friend and he didn't want to embarrass the other boy in front of James and whoever else might be listening.

True to his word, Professor Slughorn returned a few minutes later and led them all into the Great Hall single-file. They lined up in front of the head table facing all four of the house tables, all of them looking up at the enchanted ceiling. Even Sirius was staring at it in wonder, though he had known all about it from his family and from skimming through the interesting parts of Hogwarts: A History. It was different to hear about it and to see it. Later, Sirius couldn't have told anyone what the Sorting Hat had sung or any words that had been spoken, but soon enough the first name was called and the ceremony began.

He barely paid attention as "Avery, William" was Sorted into Slytherin, because his blood was pounding too loudly in his ears, and then suddenly it was his turn.

"Black, Sirius!"

He heard a choking sound from beside him, but he didn't take the time to glance back at James to see what was wrong before he stepped forward towards Professor Slughorn. He sat on the stool facing the student body and saw the encouraging grin of his cousin Andy at the Slytherin table before the hat was placed on his head and fell over his eyes.

"Well," came a voice, "this is certainly interesting. I'm surprised that you're so difficult." Sirius moved his head as if he might be able to see where the voice was coming from, but then he remembered that he couldn't see anyway because of the hat on his head, and he realized all at once that the voice must belong to the Sorting Hat itself. "You've got plenty of courage, but you've also got a keen mind. You're loyal to a fault, so you might do well in Hufflepuff."

Sirius almost choked on his own saliva, thinking that he'd transfer to another school first thing in the morning if he got placed in Hufflepuff.

"Ah, not to worry," said the Sorting Hat, "you aren't patient or steadfast enough to be in Hufflepuff. But which of the other houses would do well for you? Gryffindor or Ravenclaw would both do nicely, though I can see that you don't seek knowledge for its own sake so perhaps--"

What about Slytherin? Sirius thought frantically. All of my family has been in Slytherin!

"Slytherin? I should think not," replied the hat. "Oh, you're cunning enough, of course, but you've not got the ambition of a Slytherin. I can see that you don't think very far into the future at all, and that isn't the mindset of someone who would do well in that house." Before Sirius could form another thought, the hat said, "No, you'd do best in GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius sat there, stunned. The Great Hall was silent for long moments that to him felt like hours, but all of a sudden cheering erupted from somewhere to his left, starting rather slowly but quickly building up into a raucous cacophony of clapping and shouting and whistling.

He still stayed rooted to the stool unable to move until the Sorting Hat was finally snatched from his head. He felt a beefy hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him forwards.

"Go on, Mr. Black," encouraged Professor Slughorn, though he sounded almost as disappointed as Sirius felt. "Gryffindor is waiting for you."

He stood on shaky legs and started making his way towards the table on the far left, where students with red-and-gold ties were clapping and cheering for him, some even standing for him as he approached. The walk seemed to take forever, as he felt like his legs had been simultaneously hit with a Jelly-Legs Jinx and turned to lead, but he finally reached the table and sunk down gratefully onto the bench. Greetings came from all around, and several of the older boys clapped him on the shoulders and back in friendly gestures, and Sirius smiled weakly back at all of them.

Lily Evans was sorted into Gryffindor shortly afterward, and Sirius automatically moved down the table to make room for her. He was still in such a state of shock that he didn't even notice when she turned her back to him in a deliberate snub, which surely would have made her even more enraged had she realized that he didn't react in the least.

Finally, when "Greengrass, Eleanor" was sorted into Slytherin, Sirius chanced a look up at the Slytherin table. The entire table was clapping and cheering enthusiastically for their new arrival, except for his cousins. Andy was clapping distractedly, but she was staring right at Sirius and not really paying attention to what was going on around her. Cissy wasn't clapping or cheering at all, just staring at him with undivided attention. Her face was still a perfect picture of surprise and disbelief, and Sirius was sure the expression matched his own.

Then something collided with his shoulder and he broke off eye contact to spin around.

"Oi, budge up, you lot," said James, who had apparently knocked into Sirius on his way further down the table. The older Gryffindors laughed and voiced humorous complaints at the first year's demand, but they made room on the bench all the same. James sat down beside an older boy whom he greeted as if they were old acquaintances. They probably were, Sirius thought, since James was a pure-blood and he was sure that Gryffindors kept social circles outside of Hogwarts just like Slytherins did. James's parents probably knew the older boy's parents.

Sirius still wondered, though, why his new friend hadn't sat beside him, and why he had knocked into him like that. It must have just been an accident, since Sirius couldn't recall having done anything to anger the other boy between spending time together on the train and now.

"Rosier, Evan!"

Sirius turned his attention back to the line at the front of the Great Hall. Evan caught his eye and gave him an uneasy smile as he sat on the stool, but then the Sorting Hat fell down over his eyes and contact was broken. It only took the hat a few seconds to yell out, "SLYTHERIN!"

Sirius felt his stomach plummet even further than it already had. He hadn't really imagined that it would happen, but he had been hoping that his friend would end up sorted into a different house, too. If not Gryffindor, then at least Ravenclaw. Then he wouldn't be the only one. But Evan removed the hat himself, with a huge grin on his face, and all but skipped to the Slytherin table.

He didn't meet Sirius's gaze again.

"Snape, Severus" was next, and Sirius watched in undisguised awe and fury as that greasy git was sorted into Slytherin, as Sirius himself should have been. Lucius Malfoy clapped Snape on the back and smiled at him in welcome. Sirius was the one who was supposed to be introduced to Malfoy, as Belley had said. His stomach clenched uncomfortably as he thought of Bellatrix. If Andy and Cissy's reactions were bad, Belley's would be ten times worse. Maybe she would never even speak to Sirius again.

Oh Merlin, he thought, what about his parents? Surely they would be bitterly disappointed. Would they be angry with him? And his grandparents? Grandfather Pollux would be furious, Sirius knew, and he could just imagine the cold expression on Grandfather Arcturus's face. Grandfather Arcturus who had only just hugged Sirius that morning and told him that he was sure he would make the family proud. He very much doubted that anyone in his family was going to be proud that he was the first Gryffindor in the family.

He realized that the Sorting Ceremony must be over when food appeared on the table before him. He automatically placed a random assortment of food onto his plate, but later he couldn't remember what any of it was. He remembered that everything he put into his mouth tasted like rubber, so he stopped trying to eat. He remembered that a smallish brown-haired boy had smiled nicely at him, and a chubby blond one had attempted to make conversation, but he couldn't remember actually responding.

Later, when everyone rose from the table almost as one, Sirius stared up at them numbly for a moment before standing alongside them. He followed the crowd as a prefect led them out of the Great Hall and towards the great marble staircase he had noticed earlier. The Slytherins were heading down a different staircase that obviously led into the dungeons, and Sirius had the urge to leave the Gryffindors and follow his family down to the Slytherin common room where he belonged. But then the Slytherins had disappeared and the Gryffindors had reached the stairs, and he found himself being herded along by the crowd as everyone chatted excitedly around him.

After many more staircases and several hidden doors, they finally reached a portrait at the end of a long corridor which portrayed a fat lady in a pink dress. Sirius still wasn't really taking anything in as the boys were directed up a spiral staircase until they reached their dormitory, where four beds were hung with red velvet curtains that Sirius thought looked like the same material as his own green bed at home. Just the wrong color.

"You're a Black!" accused James.

At the anger in the other boy's voice, Sirius snapped to attention for the first time since he'd been sorted. He briefly really took in his surroundings for the first time. He was still hovering in the doorway, and all of the other boys had moved further into the room. James was standing next to the bed nearest the door, his arms crossed and a glare aimed straight at Sirius. The blond boy was sitting on the next bed watching them. The brown-haired boy was bent over his trunk at the third bed, though he had stopped whatever he was doing to look warily between James and Sirius.

"I--" Sirius felt himself floundering. "Er--Yes, I am."

"Did you not tell me because you knew I wouldn't talk to you if you did? What game are you playing?"

Sirius stared at him in bewilderment. "I--No, I--What do you mean?"

James uncrossed his arms and stalked over to him, stopping feet away so that he could stare right into Sirius's eyes as he said, "You knew I wouldn't talk to you if I knew you were a Black, because I'm a Potter."

"A Potter..." Sirius trailed off for a moment as everything clicked into place for him and he realized who James must be. "But then, you're a Black, too! Or at least your mother is a Black. We're first cousins once removed!"

James made a noise somewhere between anger and disgust.

"I am not a Black! They're Dark wizards! No one in that family has talked to my mother since she married my father, and my parents have raised me up right!"

"But--but your mother is still on the family tapestry," Sirius said, confused, "and your father and you, too. You haven't been blasted off it."

James's own face showed confusion now, but the brown-haired boy beat him to it, asking, "What on earth is a family tapestry?"

Sirius blinked at him, as he had quite forgotten for a moment that there were two others in the room with them.

"It's a magic tapestry that records the Black family tree. You get blasted off of it when you're disowned, and Dorea Black was never blasted off it."

"Potter," growled James. "It's Dorea Potter, and she wouldn't want me talking to a Dark wizard." He stomped back over to his bed and threw himself onto it, drawing the bed hangings closed around him. "I'm going to bed."

Sirius was left standing awkwardly in the doorway, staring at the spot where the other boy had disappeared behind his curtain. He had thought they were friends, earlier on the train. They had gotten along very well for the hours it took to go from London to Hogwarts. He hadn't realized that anyone could dislike him so much because of his family. He hadn't even realized that anyone could dislike his family so much in the first place!

"Sirius," said the brown-haired boy, "maybe you should come in and shut the door. I think that's your bed there by the window." He pointed, and indeed Sirius's trunk was sitting at the end of the bed furthest into the room.

As he moved towards it, the other boy stuck out his hand as he passed. "I'm Remus Lupin, by the way." Sirius stared at the proffered hand for a moment before he came to his senses and took it. "I tried to introduce myself at the feast, but you looked to be in shock so I thought it was best to let you be for a while."

"I'll bet he was in shock!" cried the blond, and then he blushed to the roots of his hair when Sirius and Remus both spun around to look at him.

Sirius didn't need to be reminded that he was the first Black to ever not be sorted into Slytherin, much less the first one to end up in Gryffindor of all places. But he didn't need to make another enemy, seeing as he already had one in his dorm, so he stamped down the urge to lash out at the shorter boy.

"Who're you?" he finally asked.

The blond stared at him for a few moments, but finally managed to stutter out that he was called Peter Pettigrew.

"Right," said Sirius, moving again towards his bed. "I'm going to bed, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Maybe when I wake up this will all just have been a nightmare."

He plopped down onto his mattress still fully clothed and dragged the red curtains shut behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, Sirius was still awake, unable to sleep for all of his racing thoughts and fears. There was a very good chance that he might actually be disowned, he thought. He was a disgrace to his family, being sorted into Gryffindor like this. His cousins and his friend didn't want to have anything to do with him. His mother would probably go upstairs to blast his name off the tapestry right away. And Sirius would be stuck living in a dorm with James Potter, who hated him and whose mother was still on the tapestry even though Sirius himself wouldn't be.

There was a tapping sound that Sirius thought he was imagining at first, but then it grew more and more insistent and he realized that it was real. He threw back his bed hangings and looked around. All three of the other beds had their curtains firmly shut, and Sirius couldn't see any of his roommates out of bed.

The sound came again, seemingly from behind him, and Sirius spun around. Huge yellow eyes were staring at him, and he leapt backwards in fright.

Then he processed what he was seeing and recognized Aquila outside his window.

Heart still pounding from the sudden fright, Sirius padded over to the window and let the owl inside. She hooted softly and flew to land on the table beside his bed. Sirius followed her, collapsing face-first onto his mattress and lying there for a moment with his face buried in the bedding, not breathing, until he finally rolled onto his side to face the owl.

"I guess you won't need your cage in the owlery after all," he told her, "seeing as you can get into the Gryffindor dorms."

She cocked her head and considered him, but didn't make a sound.

He took it as answer enough and continued, "Can you imagine, girl? Me in a tower instead of under the lake! I'll bet Andy and Cissy will write to the family first thing in the morning, and then everyone will know, and I'll probably get a Howler by dinnertime telling the whole school how I've been disowned."

The owl still stared at him in silence. Then finally, with an exasperated look, she lifted her leg out as if he had a letter to tie onto it.

Sirius sat up so quickly his head swam for a moment.

"A letter!" he exclaimed. At grumbling coming from somewhere behind him, he remembered his roommates and lowered his voice. "A letter, that's it!" he repeated, quieter this time. "You're such a smart girl, Aquila!"

His cousins couldn't send letters until the morning, because owls couldn't make it into the Slytherin dorms. Sirius, however, could send an owl right now. It would get to his parents before his cousins' owls could, and hopefully if Sirius explained how sorry he was and how he hadn't wanted to be in Gryffindor at all, his parents wouldn't disown him. Sirius wouldn't go so far as to hope they would understand, as he knew that they would still be shocked and bitterly disappointed, but maybe they would at least let him stay in the family.

Dear Father and Mother,

I don't know how to tell you this, so I guess I just have to come out and say it. I got sorted into Gryffindor.

I know it's a shock. You can't be more shocked than I am. I promise I didn't want to! I told the hat that I wanted Slytherin, I swear I did!

Please don't be too angry with me. Andromeda and Narcissa will probably send you letters a few hours after you get this one, but I wanted to tell you first so that I could explain it. Maybe I could transfer schools, if that would make you less disappointed?

Love,

Sirius

He didn't know what else he could say. He wanted to explain more, but he didn't really know for himself how it had happened other than what he'd already said. He wanted to ask for more reassurances that his parents would not disown him, but he didn't want to say it outright like that just in case his parents didn't think of it and he accidentally put the idea into their heads.

Heaving a great sigh, he tied the letter to his familiar's leg and sent her on her way.

Deciding that it would be far too much trouble--and probably too noisy--to dig through his trunk to get his pajamas out, Sirius stripped down to his underwear at the edge of his bed. He nearly teared up when he was removing his tie and found the Slytherin tiepin there. He stared at it for a while, the emerald eye taunting him in the darkness, before he sighed again and laid it gently on his table.

Then he pulled back the bedclothes for the first time, as earlier he had just thrown himself on top of them, and found another reminder of the house he was supposed to have been in: the green silk sheets his mother had purchased for him in Diagon Alley. The house-elves must have found them and put them on his bed when they moved his things upstairs. They didn't match his Gryffindor dormitory at all.

With one last glance at the glinting tiepin, Sirius sunk down into the green sheets, yanked his red curtains closed, and buried his head under his pillows.