Trapped Like Rats

Trapped Like Rats: Chapter Two

Creepy voice from above: In the last chapter, I locked Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Snape, Fleur, Draco, and Sirius in a room with no way out.

Ginny: Yeah. If only the door by the huge, opened, unblocked window would open. (sighs)

Draco: Hey, wait. Who was that voice?

Hermione: What voice Draco darling?

Draco: The one that said she locked us in here!

Ginny: Ah, dude? There wasn't a voice.

Draco: But there was! Ginny even answered it!

Ron: Draco, there was no voice.

Draco: But I'm a Malfoy! Malfoy's never go mad.

Snape: Well, Mister Malfoy, there's a first for everything.

Harry: Waaa! Why can't I be the first to go insane? I'm so misunderstood!

Sirius: So we've heard.

~ Harry sobs and runs over to corner by himself ~

Harry: (muttering to self) My precious... my precious...

~ Ginny rolls eyes at Harry ~

Ginny: So, while Harry is off in Lala Land, wanna do something else besides play Truth or Dare?

Harry: My precious...

Fleur: Oh, Ronnie dear?

Ron: (blushes) Yes, love?

Fleur: I'm sure you can think of a game to play...remember this? (dangles a squeegee in hand)

Ron: (smiles a giddy smile) Uh, sure!

~ Harry rejoins group and sucks his thumb ~

Ron: First, get in a circle.

~ people roll eyes but get in a circle anyway ~

Ron: The game we're going to play is called Simon Says.

Hermione: Ooo, that sounds fun. Fun, fun, fun.

Sirius: Sexy Sevy is so sexy.

Ron: Okay, raise your hands if you have a sugar high.

~ Sirius and Draco raise hands ~

Hermione: Simon didn't saaaay! Whoopee! What'd I win?

Ginny: Tell us! Tell us!

Ron: Simon says raise your hands if you have a sugar high.

Ginny: But your name isn't Simon!

Ron: JUST DO IT!

~ Sirius, Hermione, Draco, and Ginny all raise hands ~

Fleur: I'm not high I'm just crazy. Wanna touch my foot?

Ron: Good. Now everyone who isn't high on sugar, go in the corner with Harry. Simon demands it.

~ Snape and Fleur go sit with Harry in the corner ~

Ron: Simon says that the people in the corner have to stay there and come up with another game to play while the rest of us play this for a while longer.

~ Snape, Harry, and Fleur groan and start discussing game options ~

Ron: (mutters to self) Hey, I can make them do whatever I want...

Ron: Simon says for the author of the story to make something interesting happen.

~ door opens and Winky comes in room carrying a thin box ~

~ Winky drops box on floor, runs back out of the room and slams door behind her ~

~ Harry, Snape, and Fleur go over to box, pick it up, and Harry clears throat ~

Harry: We have decided that all of us will play whatever is in this box.

Draco: Brilliant!

Hermione: Why didn't I think of that?

~ Fleur opens box and squeaks with delight ~

Fleur: It's a box filled with all our names on little pieces of paper and fashion ideas on more little pieces of paper! There's even a hat!

Ginny: So, what do we do with them?

Draco: Maybe we could draw names out of the hat and match them up with fashion ideas, and then we could give everyone makeovers!

Hermione: Where'd you come up with a stupid idea like that?

Draco: On this piece of paper that says 'How to Play the Game in the Box'.

Sirius: Well that's a dumb way to play a game!

Ron: Yeah!

Hermione: I know. Let's try to build a fort in the middle of this room with the paper and the hat!

Everyone: Yea!

~ suddenly, the door opens and Happy Bunny enters to room ~

Happy Bunny: (pointing at Fleur and Snape) Have a great day you worthless turds!

~ Happy Bunny bashes Fleur and Snape over their heads with a rolling pin and proceeds to carry them out of the room ~

~ Happy Bunny places an unconscious Jack Sparrows in the center of the room and leaves ~

Ron: (staring at door) Who was that rabbit?!

Draco: Who cares? (points to Jack Sparrows) All I want to know is who is that?

Ginny: (shrugs shoulders) I dunno.

Sirius: Can't you say anything a bit more helpful?

Ginny: I dunno.

~ Jack Sparrows wakes up and stares around the room ~

Hermione: Who are you, Mister pirate dude?

Jack: I'm the pirate who acts permanently drunk, Jack Sparrows!

Draco: (sneers) You? You're the worst pirate I've ever heard of!

Jack: Ah, but you have heard of me. But who are you people?

Draco: I'm a Malfoy.

Hermione: And I'm his lover. (looks fondly at Draco)

Jack: Well, hello Imamalfoy and Hislover. How are you today?

Hermione: Fine.

Draco: Pretty good.

Hermione: But I could sure use some Fire Whiskey that I'm secretly addicted to.

Draco: And I am feeling a bit bloated around the- (farts loudly)- never mind.

~ everyone fans their hands in their faces to rid room of Malfoy's odor ~

~ Ginny tosses Tom's journal off to corner and stares dreamily at Jack ~

~ Sirius burns picture of Snape and looks dreamily at Jack ~

Ginny: Oh, Jacky! Umm, I was like wondering if you like had like a girlfriend, like?

Jack: Like no I like actually like don't.

Ginny: This is like totally the best news I've like ever heard!

~ Sirius gets jealous of Ginny and makes moves on Jack ~

Sirius: (in sexy, seductive voice) Hellooooo Jack. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Because I've got two just for you...

Jack: (confused) But I'm not crying.

~ Sirius kicks Jack in prohibited area ~

~ Jack starts crying loudly on Sirius's shoulders while clutching crouch with one hand ~

~ Sirius pumps fist into air victoriously ~

Sirius: YES!!!

Ginny: NO!!!

Jack: OUCH!!!

Creepy voice from above: While Jack is crying on Sirius's shoulder and Ginny is sobbing in the corner, Harry takes this opportunity to crawl back to his corner while mutter incomprehensibly to himself. Ron and Hermione get out two large bottles of Fire Whiskey, begin to get seriously drunk and star playing strip poker. Ginny soon after joins them in drinking and poker, and is obviously to drunk to realize that she is taking off her clothes in front of her brother. While everyone is having a good time, more or less, Draco is left by his lonesome and begins to wonder who is the creepy voice from above.

Draco: I wonder who that creepy voice from above is.

Creepy voice from above (CVFA): 'TIS I! GOD! (throws lightning bolt and narrowly misses Draco)

Draco: Hey, watch it! You almost hit my perfect hair! And who are you anyway?

CVFA: I just told you. I'm God.

Draco: Yes, yes, we've already established that. I mean who are you, really? What is your name?

CVFA: Go-

Draco: And don't say God.

CVFA: ...but I am God, really.

Draco: Then why does it say 'CVFA' on the left side of the page instead of God?

CVFA: ... umm... well... Alright! Alright, I'm not God.

Draco: I knew it! So who are you? What's your name?

CVFA: It's Frank.

Draco: No, you sound more like a girl to me. And Frank's a dude's name.

CVFA: Enough with the name accusations! Just ask me a different question.

Draco: Okay... why am I the only one who can here you?

CFVA: Because I want the other characters in the story to think you are crazy so they won't believe you.

Draco: Well, that's not very nice.

CVFA: I know.

Draco: Well, as long as you know I'm fine with it.

CVFA: Well, I'm glad your fine with it.

Draco: Good.

CVFA: Good.

~ awkward silence passes between Draco and author ~

Draco: Hey, are you the one who's writing this story?

CVFA: Yeah, why?

Draco: So you made me say that?

CVFA: Say what?

Draco: What I just said.

CVFA: (slowly nods head but doesn't really understand) Right.

Draco: I was wondering something.

CVFA: And I was saying something.

Draco: You must be a pretty sick, twisted git to lock all of us up in this room.

CVFA: You should be talking, ferret boy.

Draco: (ignoring last comment) Why'd you do it anyway?

CVFA: Because I was working on another story and I was stuck so I decided to come up with this one instead and locking people up was the only good idea I had.

Draco: Another story? Was I in it?

CVFA: Big time.

Draco: I bet I'm the star character!

CVFA: No, actually me and my friend Kayti are the stars. We're tied at first star character.

Draco: Am I second?

CVFA: No, our other friend is.

Draco: Third?

CVFA: No, that's another friend of ours too.

Draco: Then what am I?

CVFA: You're probably tied at fourth with Harry.

Draco: Ah, foo!

CVFA: Don't worry, you're doing fine in this story.

Draco: Well, that's good.

CVFA: Well, Draco, as nice as it was talking with you, I think I'm gonna have you go find Hermione in her underwear with Ron and Ginny playing strip poker, okay?

Draco: Do I have a choice?

CVFA: No.

Draco: Okay, then I'm fine with it.

CVFA: See you later.

Draco: Bye!

CVFA: Ba-bye now!

~ Draco skips away humming Harry Potter Theme Song and adding lyrics of his own ~

~ Draco sees Hermione in her underwear playing poker with Ron and Ginny ~

~ Draco gets mad ~

Draco: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERMIONE?

Hermione: Playing strip poker.

Draco: I knew it! (in slightly whiny voice) But I thought you loved me??

Hermione: But I do love you Draco! Just because I'm sitting here mostly naked with a guy who has the hots for me and is also mostly naked doesn't mean I like him more than I like you. I promise.

Draco: Then why have we never played strip poker with your sister that nobody knows about?

Hermione: I don't know, I guess it just never came up.

Draco: Well, want to do it now?

Hermione: Sure!

~ author makes Hermione's younger sister, Joselyn, appear out of thin air ~

~ Hermione, Draco, and Joselyn skip off to the center of the room and starts to play strip poker ~

Ron: Waaa! But Hermione, I love you! What do I have to do to win you over?

Ginny: Oh, Ron, get a grip!

Ron: (sniff sniff) Okay.

CVFA: (whispering) Psst! Draco!

Draco: (while taking off his shirt) What do you what, creepy voice from above? I'm kinda busy playing strip poker with Hermione and her seven year old sister here so make it quick.

CVFA: I just realized that I don't think her sister should be playing! She's too young and this could scar her for life!

Draco: Well, what am I supposed to do? The runt's already gotten rid of all her footwear. Dashing pair of feet I might add... for a seven-year-old I mean.

CVFA: Okay, here's my plan. Get everyone in another circle and choose a game to play!

Draco: Another one??

CVFA: Yeah, why not?

Draco: Because we are freakin' tired of these circle games already!

CVFA: Your problem, not mine.

Draco: Grr...

Draco: Hello? Are you still there, creepy voice from above?

Hermione: Draco, who are you talking to?

Jack and Sirius in unison: Are you talking to the ceiling again?

Harry: Hey, Jack wasn't even here the first time Draco started talking to himself!

Ginny: Oh, Harry shut up.

Draco: I wasn't talking to myself! I was talking to the author of this story!

Jack and Sirius: (sarcastic) Yeah, sure you were.

Ron: Yeah, come on Draco. We weren't born yesterday!

Hermione: Stop making fun of him, it's not his fault if he's the first to go totally nuts!

Draco: I'm NOT totally nuts!

Harry: Waaa! I'm so-

Everyone: (monotonously) Misunderstood.

Ron: Bloody hell, we know already!

Joselyn: Ahh, poor Harry. I think he's sad, sissy!

Hermione: More like pathetic.

Joselyn: What's that mean?

Hermione: Harry himself is pretty much the definition.

Harry: Waaa!

Ron: (chanting) Draco is crazy! Draco is crazy!

Draco: Am not!

Jack and Sirius: (sarcastic) Yeah, right.

Draco: CURSE YOU CREEPY VOICE FROM ABOVE!!

CVFA: Muahahaha!!!

Draco: You do know you caused this all, right?

CVFA: Yep. That was my intention.

Draco: Just checking.

~*~Finished*~*