Harry Potter and the Burden of Becoming

Caduceus

Story Summary:
Sirius has died, and as Harry struggles with his guilt, new neighbors move in across the street on Privet Drive. But this foreign family from the Middle East has a very beautiful daughter, and she's taken a liking to Harry. But just as Harry must hide his own true identity, so too are the secrets that run deep within the Darbinyan family - secrets of death, secrets of life, secrets that will unwittingly guide Harry to rebirth, and the ultimate discovery of how Voldemort must be defeated.

Chapter 30

Chapter Summary:
How is it that the gift Dudley gives Harry for his birthday is is known for its magical properties? Ah well, Harry is too busy to concern himself with this revelation. He must rally the school in the wake of tremendous disaster, while his two best friends are out fighting the battle... or are they? He must push aside his jealously, and focus on his one true love... Cho?
Posted:
10/17/2005
Hits:
3,351
Author's Note:
Thanks Sumrgirl for the beta catches!


Harry Potter and the Burden of Becoming

Chapter 30 - The Stone of Cinnabar

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All indications point to Voldemort's Death Eaters being behind the horrific attack yesterday at King's Cross Station. Nearly 30 Muggles and 12 wizards died in the blast that occurred at just after 11 am. Many more were injured. The Director for Wizarding Security, Arthur Weasley, stated that two suspects were being held in connection with the attack, although he refused to provide their names. "The two sorcerers in our custody are providing valuable information, which promises improved security for both wizards and Muggles alike.

Mrs. Alisa Clarke, Director of Magical Mischief, disagrees. "How anyone can think 42 dead is an improvement is beyond me. We need to go on the offensive before we're all killed!" Indeed the Ministry of Magic has been flooded with complaints, many calling for the resignation of Director Weasley. The Dailey Prophet has it on good authority that Weasley's office had word of the impending attack hours before, but still was unable to prevent its dire consequences.

The Minister of Transportation, Pushem Longer, stated that repairs are already underway. "Muggles believe it was another Mid-East terrorist attack, although the head of government has been contacted by Minister Fudge with our suspicions. Charms are still in place to prevent the various magical tracks from being discovered. Platform 9-3/4's will be rebuilt in time for the Christmas holiday."

Among the dead, Engineer Thaddeus Fleming, is credited with saving the lives of countless children as they disembarked after their return from a morning sightseeing trip to Hogsmeade. Fleming used a shield charm protecting the children from falling debris as he ushered them into a shelter. The shield charm failed just before he entered the chamber himself, and he was struck and killed by a falling beam.

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"I know him," Harry exclaimed. "On our first night, he helped Hagrid with the first years when everything went crazy in Hogsmeade." His hand began to shake as he took a sip of tea. James Chang laid the paper down revealing a picture of the Hogwarts Express in flames.

"It's awful," he said with a grimace. "It goes on -- just more about who died and who was hurt. What if we'd been on the train coming back from school?" The thought sent a slight shiver down his spine.

Harry took another halfhearted bite of egg and glanced back to the entrance of the Great Hall. He'd been sitting with James and the Creevey brothers throughout breakfast, and still there was no sign of Ron or Hermione. When he woke to find Ron's bed empty, he assumed he'd find them both eating. He asked Goyle about Ron, but Goyle either didn't know, or was silent.

"Don't worry James," Dennis said reassuringly. "They've got who did it, and they'll be sure it won't happen again."

"Maybe, Dennis," replied James, unsure. "It's just... not knowing."

"That's what he wants," Harry spoke up. "Fear. Fear of what will happen next." He pointed his fork at Neville and the row of Gryffindors that had been reading over James' shoulder. "He'll try to use that against us. Don't let him."

A sliver of sunshine split the gray ceiling of the Great Hall as Goyle leaned in to the conversation. "I hear Draco knew it was going to happen before it did," he whispered looking back over his shoulder. "He used some lame excuse to apologize to Cho so he could show off he's connected, if you know what I mean." James looked at Harry, and Harry began to rub his head. James leaned in himself.

"I knew it!" he hissed. "He's as foul as his..."

"No he's not!" Harry said abruptly. "All he said was..."

"You weren't even there Harry," Colin interrupted. "Some snakes can't be saved. I know you two have been..."

"We haven't been anything!" Harry yelled now turning heads in the Great Hall. He even caught Professor McGonagall's attention. She was acting Head Mistress, sitting in for Professor Dumbledore as neither he nor Tonks had been seen since the day before. Harry stood. Colin started to say something again, but Dennis grabbed his arm and shook his head.

Standing, Harry looked around the hall. The whole place was in whispers; everyone was frightened, unsure. There was no grand speech from Professor Dumbledore like the morning after the Hogsmeade attack. There was no rallying cry to bring confidence to the school. Harry scoured the hall for Ron and Hermione, but they were still nowhere to be seen. The few Professors at the head table with an appetite to attempt breakfasting were grim and stoic.

"I did this," Harry whispered to himself.

"You did what?" Colin asked with a much calmer tone. Abruptly, Harry stood on the Gryffindor table and held his wand toward the gray sky above.

"Candeo!" he called as fireworks shot out of his wand toward the ceiling. Everyone gasped in surprise.

"Mr. Potter..." Professor McGonagall started quietly, but Harry ignored her and spoke his mind, his heart.

"Students of Hogwarts!" he yelled. As all the faces in the Great Hall turned his way, Harry felt himself stand somehow taller. "They attacked Hogsmeade, and Professor Dumbledore told us, didn't he? We will defeat this evil... We will deny his goals! But what, instead, are you doing?" He turned at a group of Hufflepuffs grouped over the cover shot on the Daily Prophet. "Huddling together in fear?" He turned to a large group of Slytherins who had surrounded Malfoy who was clearly at a loss. "The Slytherins think Draco Malfoy's public apology to Cho Chang was some kind of ruse to prove he knew the attack was imminent." He turned to the Ravenclaws who were muttering in agreement. "And so would you conspire and seek vengeance?" He looked back to his own table. "Dumbledore said that by staying true to the principals this school was founded on WE would lead the charge." He looked up to the head table. Surprisingly, Professor McGonagall had retaken her seat. "We cannot defeat his evil with fear. We cannot defeat his evil with anger." Crabbe let out a snort that turned the heads of those around him. A number of Slytherins smiled, but Malfoy stared at Harry unblinking.

Harry pointed his wand straight at Malfoy. The student's around him scattered but Malfoy sat unflinching. "I assure you," Harry called out advancing on Malfoy. "There is only one among us who hears Voldemort's thoughts." Then dropping his aim from Malfoy to the table in front of him Harry called, "Serpentortia!" A large venomous cobra sprang from the tip of Harry's wand and landed in front of Malfoy. There were screams everywhere, and Professors from the head table began to move toward Harry and Malfoy at the other end of the Great Hall. Harry slipped his wand in his robes as the snake raised to strike Malfoy. Still he sat unflinching. Harry narrowed his eyes and began to speak.

"Hasheth-Hayahess. Hasheth-Hayaheth." The snake turned toward Harry flicking its tongue. "Hasha-sayeth. Sayeth." Slowly, Harry reached down and lifted the snake into his arms. There was a collective gasp as everyone froze, including Professor Flitwick who had nearly made his way down to stop the activities. Harry began to smile stroking the snake's head.

"Draco's father is in Azkaban, but that doesn't make him a Death Eater." Harry held the snake higher so that everyone could see. "Can we learn to embrace that which is different? Can we find ways to accept apologies for past mistakes?" There was a general murmur of support, but still Malfoy said nothing. "Can we join together to fight this evil?" Scattered applause broke out even at the Slytherin table. Harry placed the snake back on the table, flicked his wand, and it was gone. "Then join us Slytherin! Join Dumbledore's Army today after lunch. Together we can win. Together we WILL win!" The room cheered and even the professors began to clap.

In the applause, Harry looked to Malfoy whose face had not flinched and whose gray eyes had been fixed on Harry the entire time. For a moment they were frozen in time as Malfoy, ever so slightly, ever so slowly, shook his head no. No one else noticed, but Harry understood and, nodding his own head, he returned to the Gryffindor table. When he sat back down, Colin was grinning.

"Brilliant, Harry," he whispered grabbing Harry's right arm. Harry realized that it didn't hurt, and a quick feel of his thumb to his forearm confirmed the scar, for the first time in weeks, had again faded away. For some time they sat eating in silence. Ginny came over and asked for the paper.

"Is it true?" she asked. "Are they saying it's Dad's fault?"

"Oh, Ginny," Dennis replied handing her the Daily Prophet, "it's nothing. When you're in a position of authority, someone always thinks they know better."

"I know, but he takes criticism so badly. I know he's..."

"Mr. Potter!" Professor McGonagall called having stepped to the side of the head table. Dennis and Ginny continued to chat as Harry made his way up to speak with his head of house. She was looking at him over the top of her glasses. "Come with me," she said and together they exited to the small chamber where he had had desert with Dumbledore. When the door closed behind them, a small smile appeared on her face.

"Professor Dumbledore sent message that he and Professor Tonks would be delayed," she said. Even with the small smile, Harry could tell that she was worried. "He knew that there would be concern among the students, but asked that I say nothing of the incident until after lunch today." Her smile broadened. "His hope was that a student, or two, might take it upon themselves to initiate discussion. Once again, he was correct." She removed her glasses and walked toward the fireplace. "He also mentioned you might need assistance if you held a DA meeting and Professor Tonks was absent. A few of the professors have volunteered their time should you need it."

"If... if Slytherin shows," Harry said with not much hope in his voice, "we'll need the extra wands." Professor McGonagall looked at Harry with an intent look.

"Oh, they'll come, Harry. Slytherins lack, shall we say, a certain amount of bravery? They're frightened of what's been happening and driven by their own self-interest. Some, I'm sure, feel that this evil might triumph, and so are waiting to see what happens next. But even a handful of Slytherins looking to join will be a victory."

"Getting the Ravenclaws to accept them will be more difficult," Harry answered staring at the logs in the fire.

"Oh, I don't know, Harry." Professor McGonagall said holding his shoulder. "Most of them are looking to Cho for guidance. She can lead them in the proper direction. And, I understand the two of you have been seeing quite a bit of each other." There was a broad grin on Professor McGonagall's face.

"Yeah," Harry whispered and for an instant he began to return her smile as he stared at a Chintz chair, only to drop the look immediately. "I mean no. Er... no." It suddenly felt cool by the fire. "Professor, I really must get ready. Is there anything else?" Professor McGonagall was a bit perplexed, but shook her head.

"No, nothing more," she said as Harry turned to leave looking at his shoes and walking to the door. "You've grown quite a bit this last year Mr. Potter. Perhaps it's time to slow down a tad. Try to have some fun this morning. Go out and enjoy the sun." Harry nodded not looking back.

On the way to the Gryffindor common room, Harry was stopped by Malfoy who pulled him on the arm and dragged him to the side of the corridor. His gray eyes were steel and his brow furled.

"Scowling again, Draco," Harry said before Malfoy said a word. "It doesn't suit your scar."

"Polyjuice Potion, Potter?" Malfoy asked flatly.

"I don't understand, Draco," Harry replied calmly. "What are you talking about?" Malfoy squeezed his arm harder.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Potter." Malfoy hissed. "I was nowhere near Hogsmeade yesterday. You know that. But somehow, last night, I'm the hero of Slytherin. If they didn't think I was in it up to my neck before, they do now. You can

talk to snakes 'till your tongue ties, but they'll still think I'm in it." And then Malfoy's face broke out into a toothy grin, and he slapped Harry lightly on the face. "Thanks, Potter. Like I said before, Salazar would be proud." Malfoy began to laugh to himself as he headed back toward the front doors of the castle. Harry watched the blonde stride confidently away until he disappeared out of sight.

When Harry entered the Gryffindor common room those inside began to clap and cheer. Ginny who was holding hands with Dean by the window walked over and gave him a hug.

"It was brilliant, Harry!" she said. "You would have made Goderick Gryffindor proud!" Neville came up and patted him on the shoulder.

"I'd never have the guts to do it," he added. "Not even for Helen." His face flushed a shade of rose. Harry searched the common room. He needed to talk to Hermione. Ginny began to walk back to Dean at the window who was sulking. Probably because of the hug, Harry thought.

"Where's Hermione?" he asked.

"They're out," Ginny called back over her shoulder not thinking.

"They?" Harry asked. Ginny looked at Neville who looked at her, but Harry caught the glance in an instant. Knowing his easier target, Harry advanced on Neville. "Neville can we talk for a minute?" he asked in a bit too gentle voice. And then firmer, "Upstairs." Neville looked back to Ginny who was giving him a stern look Harry couldn't read, but guessed it was to keep quiet.

"Gee Harry," Neville sputtered. "I... er... gee." Neville started backing to the exit.

"Goyle made a pretty funny frog," Harry laughed with no humor behind the words. "Don't you think?" He slipped his hand to the sleeve where he kept his wand. "Come on, Neville. I really need to talk to you in private." Again Neville looked at Ginny who hadn't moved from her position halfway between Harry and Dean. Her silence was not the support he needed.

"Erm... sure Harry," he said nervously. "Just for a bit though. Helen's waiting for me outside. We're going to look for Fentaci-Fungi near the lake."

"Yeah," said Harry, shooting a glance to Ginny. "Just for a bit." The two started up the stairs. "Finally," Harry thought, "I'm going to discover what they've been up to." And then he asked out loud to Neville. "Interesting, don't you think? The war's afoot, and the next day they come up missing. Where are they?"

"Well... you see..." Neville began as they entered the boys' dormitory, "it's just that..."

"PUT THAT DOWN!" Harry screamed ignoring Neville's words. There in front of him, standing at his desk, was Greg Goyle holding Harry's dragonhead in his hands slipping the large stone in and out of the creature's mouth. The shock made him jump and the stone fell to the floor, rolling under Harry's bed. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Harry yelled again, this time slipping his wand out and pointing it at Goyle's head. Goyle began to tremble falling to his knees and reaching under Harry's bed as he spoke.

"S-S-Sorry Harry," he said shaking. "I was just... oh gees... I'm s-s-sorry." He reached deep under the bed and when he pulled up he hit his head. "Ayyy!" Goyle yelped. The sight made Harry smile and the rage in his heart crashed like a wave on the beach disappearing into nothingness. Goyle quivered on the floor holding the stone in his outstretched hand toward Harry. He kneeled there shaking, as he looked the other way with his eyes closed waiting for the curse. Harry slipped the wand up his sleeve, snatched the stone from Goyle's hand, and held it in his own. He walked over to the desk and placed it in the mouth of the dragonhead.

"It is beautiful," he whispered. "Don't you think?" Goyle opened one eye and scampered to his own bed and sat.

"Y-yes," he said nervously. "It's Cinnabar, I think." Harry looked at him with wide eyes. Goyle knew something about the stone? "They used to make Bludgers out of the stuff years ago before lead. The stone's brittle, but holds enchantments so well you can stop it from shattering." Harry stood astonished, while Goyle took a breath and gathered his composure. "I... I'm sorry Harry. I know that means a lot to you. It's just so... I don't know." Harry looked at Goyle and sat on his own bed holding his two treasures and turning them in his hands.

"I don't know either Greg," he whispered. "Did I tell you?" he asked, holding up the dragon. "A Muggle made this."

"Yeah," Goyle nodded. "Well, no... er... Ron did."

"Ron?" Harry thought and suddenly he remembered what he was there to do, but looking up, Neville was gone. "Damn!" Harry hissed. He put the dragonhead on his desk and ran to the top of the stairs. Neville was just leaving through the portrait. "Neville!" Harry yelled as he ran down to the common room. Ginny and Dean were gone. By the time he was out into the corridor, Neville had vanished. He ran a short way down the corridor, but only saw a few dozen random students. "You'll regret this Longbottom!" Harry yelled to the air turning heads everywhere. "I swear -- you'll pay!" He gritted his teeth and roared to himself clenching his fists. His arm began to ache again. Once again, he was angry, too angry really, and he didn't know why... he just was. They were up to something; he knew it. They were up to something and leaving him out.

For a while, Harry wandered the corridors looking for both Ginny and Neville, but with no luck. Often he was pulled aside and praised for his talk in the Great Hall, or asked about the afternoon's DA meeting. He hadn't given the DA meeting much thought. His mind was singularly focused on what everyone was up to that was so important or so dangerous Harry couldn't be involved.

After lunch, when the DA meeting did take place, Harry was relieved to find Professors Flitwick and McGonagall there to assist. More than a dozen Slytherins were in attendance. A respectable first showing, Harry thought, but their presence had everyone on edge. Ron and Hermione, noticeably, were absent. Ginny and Neville were also no-shows. At first, Harry thought they were just avoiding him, but when he realized that Luna was gone, his mind assembled a different puzzle.

Everyone missing had been with him at the Ministry the year before in an attempt to save his godfather, Sirius. He had wanted them all to stay at Hogwarts, but they insisted they come. And in his vain attempt to play the hero, he nearly got them all killed. Now, the day after the attack on King's Cross Station, that same band of heroes was missing. All, that is, accept Harry. He was coming to the realization that it wasn't just Ron and Hermione. They were all in on it. Dumbledore, and probably Tonks, were leading his friends into some sort of adventure. They were deliberately leaving Harry out of it to protect him... to keep him safe. Who else, Harry wondered, was in on it?

Professor Flitwick was working with a group of sixth years on camouflage charms. Students were near the indoor forest, and when the charm was cast they began to take on the appearance of the trees nearby. Harry, standing next to a large rock, found his clothes and hands turning a dark gray with white speckles that matched the marbling of the stone. As the students began to work with each other, Harry started over to Professor Flitwick. On his way he ran into a boulder that wasn't there a minute before, only to discover it was Goyle.

"Ouch! Oh, Sorry Greg," Harry said.

"No problem Harry," Goyle replied, grinning with dark gray teeth. "I think I'll try this one out on Crabbe when I get back." Goyle's words made Harry look around.

"Where is Crabbe?" Harry asked, "I thought maybe you might..."

"Malfoy," Goyle said sharply, his smile fading. "It all begins and ends with Malfoy, Harry. I'm not so sure I'll be coming to any more DA meetings after I go back." Harry simply nodded and continued to Professor Flitwick. He was complimenting Parvati, saying that her choice to blend in with a patch of yellow and purple wildflowers was visually stunning, if not the best defensive posture.

"Professor," Harry called. "May I have a word?" Professor Flitwick stepped away from the students and walked over to Harry.

"What is it Mr. Potter?" he asked a bit winded from the afternoon's efforts.

"Ron and Hermione," Harry asked simply, "do you know where they are?" A look of flushed embarrassment filled Professor Flitwick's face instantly. He began to twiddle with his wand not holding Harry's gaze. Slowly, he began to shake his head.

"Mr. Potter..." he looked up to meet his green eyes. "Harry... It's not my place to..."

"Then it's true!" Harry yelled, his voice echoing down the imitation streets of Hogsmeade. "I knew it! And Dumbledore didn't think I could handle it! Is that it?" he asked again, but didn't wait for the answer. "Am I that delicate, Professor? Do I need that much protection?" He could feel the rage building within as he gripped his wand so tight his fingers turned white. Professor Flitwick tried to put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"It is precisely this reaction..." he began, but Harry pulled away.

"Reaction? What reaction?" he snapped gritting his teeth into a toothy smile. "I'm fine!" He turned to rows of students firing spells at one another. "Enough! That's enough for today! Take some time to enjoy the sun!" he yelled still grinning and then turning to Professor Flitwick. "Isn't that right, sir? We wouldn't want them to grow up too quickly."

The students began to file out. Professor McGonagall left with Madame Guérir who was assisting a third year that had been slightly burned because he was too slow with his defensive spell. As Professor Flitwick was about to leave, he looked at Harry to speak, but then dropped his head and left the room. Harry noticed a first year Slytherin talking to a first year Ravenclaw about a wrist movement. For an instant his mind turned to his true purpose for being where he was. "The future," Harry thought. As the last of the students departed for the day, Cho came up to him and asked him how things were.

"I'm fine!" he snapped without cause. Undaunted, she came closer with a warm smile, but she was unable to defrost the ice from around his heart.

"I know something's wrong," she said kindly.

"Did you notice who was missing?" he said folding his arms and stomping out of the room and down the corridor.

"Sure," Cho replied. "Tonks was gone, but I heard she was off with Dumbledore. I hope they're okay." Her last words had a slight tremor in them as she glided down the corridor beside him.

"Not Tonks!" Harry yelled back, paying no attention to the fear in her voice. "Hermione and... oh... you wouldn't understand," he breathed in exasperation.

"Hermione?" Cho asked with a bit of frost on her own words now. "What about Hermione?" As they made their way to the entrance for Ravenclaw, Harry stopped and took Cho's arm. She clearly didn't understand Dumbledore's plans.

"Don't you see? She and Ron went off today and..."

"And why should that concern you?" Cho interrupted again with ever more ice in her voice. The interruption only sparked Harry's own frustration from being left out of whatever it was they were all doing. "Don't tell me you're jealous!"

"No!" Harry spat emphatically. But his eyes couldn't hold Cho's. He had to look away. He was jealous. Dumbledore was letting his two best friends work for the Order, while he was left to teaching students who would have nothing to do with the final outcome. Cho, however, read the look a different way.

"You are!" she said, her eyes widening. "Look at me, Harry!" Now it was Cho who took Harry's arm as she looked into his face. Then, she spoke very slowly. "Tell me. Are you jealous of Ron?" Again, Harry missed her point.

"I told you!" Harry pulled away. "I don't give a damn what they do!" He still couldn't look her in the face, but the surety of his answer seemed to satisfy Cho. A small smile of triumph crossed her face. This time she put both arms around Harry and hugged him.

"You don't need her, Harry," she whispered. "You don't need either of them." She reached up and stroked the side of his face. Harry, looking down into Cho's smile, seeing her beautiful brown eyes look into his, felt the rage and jealously melt away. He smiled back at her and sighed deeply, letting the tensions slip away.

"You're right, as always. Thank you, Cho," he said putting his own hand to her face and then hugging her. His heart lightened, but as he looked into her eyes, they darkened to black. Harry blinked and shook his head. When he looked back they were again chestnut brown. A shiver went down his spine and he began to tremble slightly. "Cho... listen," he began. "We need to talk. Our paths..."

"Shhh," she breathed holding a finger to his lips. Cho pulled him close to her and gently laid her head on his chest. "I don't know what our future holds, Harry. But... right now... I need you." Hearing her own words, she laughed to herself as a tear streaked down her face and fell to the floor. "We all need you."