Boys on the Radio

Chapter Nineteen

And I want you.

And blessed are the broken and I beg you,

No loneliness, no misery is worth you.

Draco sat in a class with ten other teenagers with a man only a few years older than him teaching them the importance of being drug free. Draco had never remembered being so bored in his life. He lacked any interest whatsoever in listening to the man speak. The man had been some kind of crack addict, and Draco had done drugs responsibly for the past half year or so ... Well, minus the time that put him in the class in the first place.

The part he hated the most was being so bored. He was a Gemini after all, and boredom was his ultimate downfall. And boredom made him think of Harry, a topic he hated thinking about. It had been a couple weeks since he had broken up with Harry and he hadn't seen him since. It was December now, and Christmas was coming ... And he would be leaving the hellhole the next day.

Draco looked at the clock and realized he had another half hour in here and then he had History of Magic for two hours and then the day would finally be over. He hated the stupid schedule they had for him at the hospital, but he had to keep up with school ... It was required. The classes were probably easier at the hospital, involving more independent work anyway. But he hadn't made any real friends because he would feel awkward making friends with the drug addicts ... He felt too good for them regardless.

Draco felt terribly depressed. He felt trapped inside some kind of nightmare. And that basically was what it was. He woke up everyday, friendless and unhappy, to repeat the same cycle and there was nothing he could do. He must be in hell, he was sure of that. Even when he got out he didn't see a much brighter future ... But there was nothing he could do about that.

As for visitors, Jill had visited him a couple times and so had Ginny but he hadn't seen Harry since they broke up. The worst part was tomorrow the person that had to sign him out was the one person he thought he'd never have to see.

****

Harry had been hanging with Ron and Hermione constantly ... just like old times. It was almost break finally. He had been feeling shitty lately, but he had been trying to focus all his energy on his schoolwork because if he didn't he would have some kind of breakdown and he knew he didn't need that. He was trying to keep his mind off Draco, but he had to admit at least to himself he was very worried about him. He actually felt sorry for Draco, trapped in the hospital for the last couple of weeks. But he tried hard not to.

Ron was already encouraging him to see someone else. He sounded very grateful to learn his best friend wasn't gay, but in fact without a specific sexuality. Or at least that was how Harry chose to describe himself. And with that, Ron had a number of girls in mind for Harry. Harry was sort of interested because he thought it'd help him move on from Draco, but another part of him was completely uninterested and would remain that way for awhile.

He and Ginny had also been hanging out a lot lately. They rarely spoke of Draco but when they did it was always quite awkward and emotional. Other than that, Harry immensely enjoyed Ginny's presence. It was strange because prior to the two weeks without Draco, it had always been Draco who had enjoyed hanging with Ginny a lot.

Harry was excited because as usual he would be spending his Christmas holiday with the Weasleys. Hermione would join them after spending some time at home as well. Harry did wonder a bit where Draco would spend Christmas, but he was trying to do the whole not caring thing ... And it was unsuccessful so far. He was sure Ginny would want him to come, but Harry wondered how awkward it would be between him and Draco, and if Draco would even want to be around him.

Ginny had visited Draco a couple times and she had let Harry know that Draco was pretty miserable, hating life. Harry had expected hearing that would make him happy, but it did not. In reality, Harry was simply still in love with Draco and it pained him more than ever. Secretly, he hoped when Draco came back they would get back together.

But he doubted it.

****

Draco awoke the day of his departure from the addiction ward in a bit of a better mood. He was very apprehensive, though, of returning to Hogwarts. If he was to screw up again, he'd be gone for good most likely. He was going to have to be good and it wouldn't be too hard considering he would go back friendless ... Minus Ginny anyway.

Draco was escorted from his room to see his therapist and caretaker one last time. When the nurse opened the door, Draco walked in to find his mother and the therapist there waiting for him. Draco was not shocked because he knew she had to be there because he was underage, but he was still a bit taken back. It was obvious she didn't want to be there. She would not look at him.

Draco took his seat and Dr. Caldwell smiled at him. 'You've made great progress, Draco. I'm proud of you,' he said promptly.

Draco nodded in recognition. 'Yeah.'

'It is amazing that you even survived that horrible overdose, Draco. You're very lucky to be alive. It was a miracle,' he continued on a serious note and Draco, looking at his mother realized something. The charm she had placed on him had aided him! ' ? Sign here, Draco. And Ms. Malfoy, you sign here ? And there ?. And there ?.'

And so it went like this with a few lectures for an hour or so. And then Caldwell told him he had arranged a portkey for him as his mother, of course, planned to do absolutely nothing with Draco.

'Thank you for the waste of time, Draco,' Narcissa finally said to him, glaring. 'You know I would not be here unless I absolutely had to do. And mark my words, boy ... You know very well why you survived that,' she said, glowing at him, and speaking the last part in a whisper so Caldwell did not hear.

****

'Harry, you're coming and that's final!' Ginny said to Harry.

'He hates me,' said Harry, but not totally believing it himself.

'Stop being stupid, Harry,' Ginny said unkindly.

And she forced him to come.

Draco arrived at Hogsmeade Station and had to walk the rest of the way to Hogwarts and promptly upon arrival had to see Professor Dumbledore. But he was quite surprised to see Ginny waiting for him with someone he definitely did not expect ... Harry, looking away.

'Draco, I'm so happy you're finally out of that place!' Ginny said to Draco and hugged him, but then whispered to him, 'though it was bloody stupid of you, dimwit.'

Draco ignored this. He was feeling very uncomfortable. 'What's he doing here?' Draco didn't want to come off horrible, but he knew in someway he had to do.

'Shut up, Draco. You know you want to see him,' Ginny said bluntly. Draco went a horrible shade of red.

'I'd rather die!' Draco said, but in an almost unconvincing tone.

And Ginny was forced to walk between them without anyone speaking.

****

'Your progress at St. Mungo's was most impressive,' said Dumbledore, beaming at Draco, obviously feeling the punishment was good enough and he need not mistreat Draco further. 'I am very pleased.'

Draco did not speak, but nodded. Dumbledore surveyed him carefully, obviously trying to read his expression carefully. But neither of them spoke. Dumbledore smiled at Draco gracefully. 'But you do understand that this kind of behavior cannot, and will not be tolerated at all further.'

'Yes, sir,' Draco responded, almost totally dully. Dumbledore did not persist.

'On a lighter note, Jillian has invited you for the Christmas holidays,' Dumbledore said happily.

Draco actually looked at Dumbledore and smiled, but tried not to look too pleased in a pathetic and ungraceful way. 'Well, that's nice isn't it?'

***

Christmas Eve was going wonderfully for Harry for the most part. He missed Draco very much, but he was also enjoying his time with his best friend, Ron, as well as Ginny and the others. Fred and George were being their normal selves ... Complete comedians and Harry loved that. The whole Weasley family was home for Christmas and though the house was quite crammed, Harry loved it.

'Aw, Percy, isn't it nice to take some time off finally?' Mr. Weasley said over dinner in a very relieved tone.

'Well, of course it nice to come home and spend proper time with mother and my siblings, father, though there is much to be done at work with all the current mayhem going on,' said Percy in a serious tone.

'Definitely not a happy time in the community,' Mr. Weasley responded darkly.

'Oh, come on, dad, stop worrying so much about that You-Know-Who riffraff, it's Christmas!' Fred said in a festive tone.

'Fred!' Mrs. Weasley said in a scolding tone, but she didn't sound too upset.

'Fred's right, mum! Lighten up. I'm sure even He-Who-Must-Not-Named takes Christmas off,' George said.

'Yes, I'm sure He-Who-Must-Not-Named is seeing family in Yorkshire and spending time at home for the holidays,' Mrs. Weasley said sarcastically but smiling.

'Does You-Know-Who have any family?' Ron asked, sounding curious.

Harry was very curious about this as well. No one had exactly talked much about this.

'Not anymore certainly,' Bill explained lightly to his brother seeing his parents' reluctance. 'You all know he killed his father's family and his mother's family was dead before he was born.'

'Oh, right,' Ron said. 'Well no wonder he's such a nutter.'

'So when's Hermione coming in, Ron?' asked Ginny, obviously thinking the subject of Voldemort might be sensitive for Harry.

'The day after the day after Christmas,' Ron said quickly. 'How'd Voldemort's mum's parents die?'

'That's quite enough, Ron,' Mrs. Weasley said sharply.

'He-Who-Must-Not-Named's grandpa was a murderer and got the dementor's kiss and his grandma died a year after He-Who-Must-Not-Named's mum was born from some disease. His uncles and aunts I believe he killed himself,' Charlie explained in a dark note.

'Such a nice bloke,' said Fred sarcastically, trying to stop the bitterness in the conversation.

'Quite,' said Harry in a very dark tone.

***

Draco sat with one of Jill's drunker friends Christmas night. It was a very attractive woman of no older than twenty five. She was having avid conversation with him ... She spoke of many things, though she often seemed very distracted in things but in the end she seemed more and open and happy. But Draco became bored ... He had not been allowed any drinks.

He went to the guest room at one point and went to Jill's phone. He dialed the number Ginny had given him before term ended and coincidentally, it was Ginny who picked up.

'Hello?' she said, sounding like she had just laughed at something.

'Hey, it's me,' said Draco.

'Who's me?' asked Ginny sounding skeptical.

'You know who the hell it is,' Draco responded, annoyed.

'Oh, hey Draco,' Ginny said cheerfully. 'How's your Christmas been going?'

'Not bad at all, really ... But I've missed you,' Draco said, sounding unashamed. 'Come over!'

'What ...?' she began.

'Just come over and see me for a while tonight,' Draco said.

'Aren't you far?' asked Ginny, sounding confused.

'Dumbledore's got Jill hooked up to floo powder because of circumstances,' Draco explained.

'Oh, right! Hmm, well, I'm sure I could come over in a bit ... When everyone goes away for a bit,' Ginny said, chuckling.

And they spoke for another half hour.

***

Harry gulped down a glass of champagne without even wincing. It was with his third glass or so, and he was beginning to feel a bit woozy. Ron was joining him for another right after.

'Cheers mate!' Ron said at the toast for the fourth drink.

The two of them took a bit longer for this drink and things were looking a bit unclear to Harry. Harry smiled at Ron who was tumbling back and forth. 'Stop that, Ron,' said Harry, giggling. 'You're acting all craaaazy!' Harry said, watching Ron back and forth.

Ron looked confused but smile. 'I'm not acting like a baby!'

***

Draco and Ginny sat on the hill behind the church in Godric's Hollow. They were sitting next to each other, looking at the stars. 'That's my star,' Draco said to Ginny at some point. 'Harry and I named it so one night a long time ago.'

Draco knew a long time ago was on some random drunk night they had spent together, but to him, that was another life. Ginny did not respond immediately, but she grabbed Draco's hand and squeezed tightly. She obviously had no words to tell him.

'How is he?' Draco asked quietly, knowing he did not have to specify who.

'Happy, actually,' Ginny said, but then looked as though she had said the wrong thing. 'He's just glad to be spending Christmas with us and all. Do you miss him?'

'No, of course not,' said Draco and looked away.

'Shut up, Draco,' Said Ginny and took away her hand, though she smiled playfully at him. 'You're such a liar.'

'Why would I miss a messy-haired, everyone loves me, silly and dumb, melodramatic hero boy?' said Draco, not too convincingly, though very much trying to sound it.

'Because you're the same way!' Ginny said, laughing.

'I do not have messy hair!' Draco yelled, getting up, indignantly, and touching his very much delicate hair.

Ginny laughed more then ever at Draco.

***

Harry found Ginny coming home after he had thrown up in the bathroom. He came out to seeing Ginny walking out of the fireplace. Harry still felt shaky and unfocused, though happy was not necessarily the feeling at all.

'Where have you been?' Harry asked her immediately.

'Nowhere,' Ginny said immediately. 'I'm fine aren't I?'

Harry could barely focus on Ginny.

'You're drunk,' Ginny said dully. 'God, Harry.'

'I'm not drunk,' Harry said, but didn't press the subject. 'You look great.'

Ginny looked at him unconvinced. 'Yeah, everyone does when you're drunk.'

'No, I'm serious!' Harry said indignantly. 'Come here, Ginny.'

Ginny didn't know how it happened. But she let old feelings take her over ... The feelings from when she was ten years old that had never really gone away. And she knew it probably meant nothing to him, Harry being a drunk bastard at the moment, but something inside her could not resist him. And she grasped his body and she kissed him. And he touched her ... And she allowed it, unable to speak, unable to demand he stop in any way. And stop he did not. He caressed her body in a gentle fashion for someone who was drunk.

'Ginny ? Ginny ?' he spoke in a soft tender voice. His breath smelled of alcohol. His hand was on her breasts and Ginny closed her eyes, scared of the horrible crime of passion she was committing.

***

When Harry opened his eyes and saw the burning light of the sun outside, he had no idea where he was or how he had ended up there. All he could feel was an ache all over his body. His head felt near explosion and he just felt a lot of weigh and ache on him. He could feel he was wearing no clothes and when he looked over he nearly had a heart attack to find who was next to him ... Ginny, fast asleep.

Harry gasped deeply and literally rolled out of the bed onto the floor. He found his clothes, all around the floor and Ginny's. He had no recollection of any of this. What had he done? Well, it was quite obvious what he had done. And a million things ran through his head. How could this have happened?

He just had no idea and he couldn't have felt more uncomfortable. Thank God Ginny wasn't awake. Harry ran to the bathroom immediately. He looked in the mirror. He looked like shit ... Very pale and messy. And then he felt a surge in his stomach and then his throat and ran to the toilet, just missing up, and throwing up a lot.

Harry knew it was going to be a long day. He just couldn't believe he had slept with Ginny. What if she was pregnant or something? What exactly had happened? A part of him wanted to run over to Ginny and wake her up but the other part of him, a much larger part of him, was much too humiliated.

Harry jumped in the shower cleaning himself much more than usual for whatever reason. He felt very dirty. But he was quite surprised when he felt the shower curtain open and Harry almost fell back with a gasp when he saw Ginny hop in the shower with him.