Boys on the Radio

Chapter Eighteen

When the water is too deep

I will ease your suffering.

When the glitter fades in morning

Turn away and you will find my empty eyes.

Your beauty blinds.

Harry had flown back to Hogwarts that same night. Running away had felt glamorous for perhaps that evening, but he knew it would solve nothing and he might even repeat history. He disappearing was his reason for guilt to begin with. He didn't want to relive the experience.

Harry lie in his bed, simply thinking. He had the sheets over his entire body, liking to be hidden from the world in a sense. He thought of Draco and the victims and of Ron and Hermione, and how he felt so horrible. Hermione had been so violated in so many ways. She had been checked out by Madam Pomfrey already and she said she was fine, but it didn't change history. Though Hermione did not seem traumatized, Harry was sure she was.

Ron seemed closer to Hermione than ever these days, and he knew there was a romance going on, though Harry did not question them at all about it. He wasn't sure the two of them had it figured out to explain it to Harry yet to begin with. And therefore Harry felt he need not meddle ? Which had to be a first.

There were rumors spreading around school about Draco and Harry and the true nature of their relationship. Slowly, people seemed to be realizing it was more than just a friendship. Harry tried not to pay attention to the rumors. But he had already heard many people talking about it ? And though he denied it to the few who asked ? He was sure no one took his word for it. In some ways he was okay with it all, but in others it was absolutely overwhelming. He hoped it didn't get to the newspapers.

As Harry was diving into a deep sleep, he heard footsteps coming to his dormitory. He took the blanket off him and looked over warily. It was quite late already. What would anybody need at this time?

'Mr. Potter,' It was the voice of Professor McGonagall. 'We need your assistance.'

Harry's heart began to race. 'What is it, professor?' A million horrible happenings ran through his head.

'Mr. Malfoy has disappeared,' she spoke in a grave yet watchful tone. 'We were hoping you may be able to help us track him down. She spoke with utter sincerity and true hopefulness.

What had Draco done? Draco was most likely in a great temper, and it scared Harry what may have been going on at that very moment or what had already happened. Quickly, Harry got out of bed.

'I'll find him.'

****

Draco felt on top of the world. He could do anything of course ? He was Draco Malfoy. There was nothing at all to be sad about. Nothing at all to truly focus on because it is a happy world after all, and Draco Malfoy was a very happy person. He couldn't help but smile in his happiness.

He left the bathroom feeling a bit shaky but very nice and heard the loud music and it made him almost fall over. It all felt so intense. There were so many people around moving so fast and in every direction. There was bliss to it to just watch but then it almost frightened Draco. But then he started focusing on the song. It was nice ....Quite nice.

Draco found himself walking over to the dance floor. He didn't care what anyone thought. He was going to dance to this song. This song was amazing. He felt nirvana in hearing it. The musician had been as kind as to release it. And now he could feast upon it ? What an amazing person, whoever released the song. He felt like crying in love for the song. And for the musician ? Who had been such a Good Samaritan to be release it.

And a boy approached him. 'Hullo,' said the boy, an auburn-haired tanned boy looking to be a couple years older than Draco. 'Care to dance?'

The boy was quite a beauty. How kind of this lovely world to let Draco feast upon him as well! He smiled at the boy. He was so handsome ... He barely felt he could control himself. 'Why, hello there. I'm happy to see you! Of course I'll dance with you.'

Draco, in a happy motion grabbed the boy and began dancing with him. Draco always could dance. It was something that had come natural to him. He was being more aggressive this time, but it didn't seem to matter. The boy was grinning like a madman as Draco nearly straddled him from behind in motion.

Draco was beginning to feel the heat in the room. It was very hot. It was ruining the moment for him. As the song finished, he realized he was sweating horribly. He ran off from the boy and knocked into a few people by accident. But he didn't care at all. He found himself by the bar. He was now angry. He jumped up on top of the counter.

'You know, I was going to have an amazing night. And I am!' he yelled, temporarily realizing the heat wasn't a big deal. It was all so wonderful. 'But it's so hot in here!'

Draco was sweating all over his face. Someone tried to get him down and he jumped down himself. 'Sorry! I'll behave.'

'That boy ....'

'Get him help ...'

'He's not right ...'

Draco heard murmurs everywhere. Why were they talking about him like this? He felt amazing really. Why had he made such a big deal about the heat? He felt intense ... He felt he could do anything. The world was his oyster. Draco grinned at all the faces around him who looked scared.

'Another bloody stoner,' hissed some security guard. Draco turned around and he was being grabbed.

Draco screamed.

****

Professor Dumbledore entered Ward 31 at St. Mungo's to find one of his more ? delicate pupils lying unconscious in his stretcher looking very pale indeed. Dumbledore watched Draco Malfoy with a wary eye, shaking his head. He was not happy at all with Draco. He had been most foolish and was lucky to be alive. As Dumbledore stood there, a woman walked in.

'Hello, Jillian,' Dumbledore said, turning to her, smiling, though not truly looking happy. 'I'm most happy to have you in my presence.'

'I haven't seen you in years, but when Harry and Draco came to me I was so happy to see them. But I can't believe Draco would do this. This is terrible. How do they handle things like that in your world? Do they pump it out of his stomach too?' asked Jill curiously.

'Not precisely, no. We have mediwizards who do specific magic to get rid of the drugs in his system. They have done this successfully, but Draco is still a bit ill. He should awake soon,' Dumbledore spoke, not sounding as though he felt at all sorry for Draco.

'I see. Well thank you for inviting me, Professor Dumbledore. I was happy to see Harry today. He came to me thinking Draco had come to me. He should be coming a little later in the afternoon. He is taking a bit of a nap. He didn't want to, but I forced him to,' explained Jill. 'I'm glad to see Draco is going to be fine.'

A mediwizard walked in and examined Draco for a moment. He then took out his wand. 'Enervate!' he said softly, and Draco awoke with a shock. Draco lifted his head and looked around. He looked very confused as to where he was and he looked extremely stunned but other than that he looked normal. He looked at Dumbledore and then looked very frightened. And he noticed Jill and wondered why she was there and where he was to begin with.

'Welcome to St. Mungo's, Mr. Malfoy, your new residence for the time being,' said Dumbledore with quite a grin.

'What? NO!' Draco exclaimed. He was now angry and furiously tried to get out of bed.

'There will be none of that, Mr. Malfoy. You will remain calm or I shall force you to,' Dumbledore said firmly.

Draco looked sullen. He threw the sheets over himself not wanting to see any of them, apparently.

'Really, Draco, you're acting like a child, now,' Jill said in a gentle tone. She went over to his bed and forced the sheets off him. 'You know very well why you're here.'

'So? It's none of anyone's business but my own if I want to take drugs,' Draco said rather boldly.

'You made a public commotion and when a security guard tried to escort you out of that club, you attacked him. You overdosed on ecstasy, Draco. You were running a very high fever and could have died, Draco! What were you thinking?' Jill said to him, now much less patient.

Draco looked as though he wanted to yell at her, but he did not. 'I just wanted to be free for a while. I wasn't trying to overdose on purpose,' he responded.

But no one was ready to hear his excuses.

****

Harry awoke from restless sleep feeling quite angry at the world, which wasn't an actual new emotion by any means but he felt helpless. He had sought out Jill's home in Godric's Hollow in his search for Draco. He was sure he would be there, but instead he had ended up waking up a very tired and confused Jillian who had offered him so much hospitality so recently ? Harry had felt like shit.

And then Jillian had not let him leave. She had contacted Dumbledore herself to let him know Harry was with her and that's when they had received very frightening news. Draco had most definitely been found ... But he was most certainly not okay. And the moment Harry heard the news he found himself spacing out, hearing nothing else, and sinking into a dark, black void.

Draco had been so fucking stupid. Harry had found himself very angry at Draco. He just never knew where to draw the line. He would do anything ruthlessly and almost as though he cared about no one else but himself. And Harry really was starting to wonder if that was true. He was starting to question Draco in many respects.

Harry dressed himself quickly and looked at the time. The portkey that had been setup for him when Jill left was going off in an hour and it would take him to St. Mungo's. So it was his job to sit around and wait for now. Harry noticed a folded letter addressed to him by his bed. Harry quickly opened it.

Dear Harry,

Draco is going to be okay. He could have been severely injured but he was saved in time. When you return to school this evening, I must ask you not to share information regarding Draco's experience with anyone ? Other than perhaps Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger. We are still very unsafe, Harry, and I must urge to express extreme care in all circumstances. The wizarding world is war and you are a large target Harry. Please be safe.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Harry was relieved to know Draco was okay but he felt very angry with Draco still in an indescribable way. He felt so betrayed and forgotten by Draco. At the moment, he did not have it in him to forgive Draco. He felt miserable at the mere thought of Draco.

****

Hermione kissed Ron again. His love kept her sane after the trauma she had gone through and she felt as though only Ron could correct it all. She lied naked next to him, curled in the bed sheets. She never wanted to leave him. Ron had given her so much in the recent past.

'I love you, Ron,' Hermione said to him. 'I always will.'

'I love you, too.'

'Do you think Harry's okay?' Hermione inquired suddenly. He had gone on a search to find Malfoy.

'Yeah, he's all right. We'd had known by now if he wasn't. Had to find Malfoy, didn't he?' Ron responded, trying to calm Hermione.

'Yes, I suppose so. You know, we may have to face the fact that I don't think those two are just friends,' Hermione said, as though trying to bring it up casually.

'WHAT? Malfoy and Harry? Hermione, you've lost it,' Ron said, looking absolutely disgusted.

'No, I haven't, Harry. I've watched them. They're not just friends. You've noticed it, too. I know it,' Hermione said smartly.

'You really think Harry is gay,' Ron said, looking at Hermione as though she was a small child.

'I never said that, Ron.'

***

Draco sat alone in his bed at St Mungo's pondering the situation he had obviously gotten himself into. There were no words to describe the anger he had felt when he realized he had been caught and imprisoned at St. Mungo's and would be remaining there for at least a fortnight. And upon returning to Hogwarts, he would then be formally punished academically wise.

Ever so often he felt the need to simply yell out to express his anger but it would do him no good. And when he was beginning to really let it all get to him; something happened that potentially would help his mood. Someone who he had wanted to see had come. Harry walked in the room.

Draco immediately smiled upon seeing Harry. Some relief poured through him. He was so sick of being lectured and finally someone he loved and wouldn't be angry at him was with him. 'Harry,' Draco said. 'Thank God it's you and not Dumbledore again.'

Harry didn't respond immediately. In fact, Harry looked very odd indeed. He didn't look especially happy at all. He looked tense, in fact. He looked unsure of what to say at all. Harry turned away.

'What's the matter, Harry?' Draco inquired, feeling uncomfortable.

And then Harry turned around and Draco saw someone quite angry.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S THE MATTER, DRACO? YOU ALMOST DIED. I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE SAME SHIT YOU HAVE AND THEN YOU RUN OFF AND LEAVE ME BEHIND AND ALMOST GET YOURSELF KILLED!' Harry screamed furiously letting out anger that was obviously well kept for a while.

Draco was stunned at first. But then he felt very, very angry. Who at all gave Harry the right to talk to him like that? Draco had made one mistake, but Harry had made just as many, if not more. He couldn't believe he had been longing to see Harry for Harry to do this to him. Draco was furious.

'Well, fuck you, then,' Draco said in a very audible tone yet not screaming at all. 'Get away from me then.'

And Draco only was like this when he was very angry. He felt out of control yet complete control in his emotions all at once. He made a sly smile at Harry pretending he didn't care though truthfully inside he was shredding apart. He really did want Harry to leave. He would not break apart.

'So that's it, then? Going to run away from things as usual, Draco?' Harry said, sounding hopeless.

'Is that what I always do, Potter? Fuck off. I can't believe I've wasted so much bloody time on you,' Draco said in a complete whisper but he knew Harry had heard him.

'That's how you want it to be, then,' Harry said, clearly unable to show his anger and confusion written all over his face. 'Then have it your way.'

And Harry stormed off.

***

Harry was feeling a mix of many feelings inside of him and he was doing a poor job of hiding it. He had returned to Hogwarts and though many attempted to talk to him, he stormed away in fury. He felt shitty. He felt like he hadn't come across to Draco right, but then he also felt Draco didn't want to understand Harry either. He had been worried for his sake. And Draco had appreciated it by breaking up with him.

Harry couldn't believe it. And he honestly didn't think they'd get back together. The look on Draco's face had told him everything. He had seen nothing but fury. And he knew it would remain like that. Harry felt so angry how the situation had turned out.

But Harry knew it was true ... And he knew he had to accept it and find some way to deal with it. And he needed to stop making it so obvious how he was feeling ? But he couldn't help it. He wished he could just talk to someone who would understand ...

'Harry,' said a voice. It was Hermione. 'Are you all right? How's Malfoy?'

'He's fine!' Harry responded. 'And so am I.'

'You don't sound fine. What's bothering you, Harry?' Hermione inquired in a concerned fashion, going to sit next to him.

Harry, at first, didn't want to say anything. But if there was one person in the world he could open up to romantically it was definitely Hermione. 'Draco broke up with me,' Harry said in a very low tone, not looking at Hermione.

'I knew it!' Hermione said smiling, but it went away fast. 'Sorry. Oh, Harry, that's awful, honestly. Oh, Harry.'

'Yeah,' Harry said, not knowing how to respond. 'It is.'

'Do you still love him?' Hermione asked bluntly.

'Of course I do,' Harry said. 'We went through a lot.'

And Harry told her everything ? How he and Draco met, how their romance began, about all the nights out ... the works.

'Wow, Harry, wow. Well, you really did go about it all wrong,' Hermione said in a rather motherly tone.

'WHAT? Hermione, he took ecstasy!' Harry said indignantly.

'Yes, Harry, but he knows he made a mistake and he most likely didn't need you rubbing it in his face. He's probably feeling very worried, and he was probably really happy to see you, and for you to react like that probably really upset him. He probably saw you as an escape from all the lecturing. You should have tried to understand why he did what he did,' Hermione explained calmly to Harry.

Harry felt absolutely stupid. 'Hmm. Hermione, you're so weird.'