Boys on the Radio

Chapter Sixteen

Get well soon

Please don't go any higher.

How are you so burnt when you're barely on fire?

Harry sharply turned around, nearly fainting in exasperation and anxiety. He could feel the sweat piling up on his forehead. He felt so scared to be caught in that situation. Harry's heart skipped a beat when he saw who it was.

'Draco,' Harry said in a low voice, though he wasn't necessarily relieved. 'You won't believe the things I just saw.'

And Harry couldn't take it. He began to weep. At first, it was almost silently, but then he cried out and buried himself in Draco's arms. He couldn't speak, not even to Draco, out of pure guilt for the situation. He felt if he did speak he would lie in some way. His only way of talking to Draco would be to cry horribly.

'Harry,' Draco said softly. 'Oh, Harry.' He said Harry' name like a mother who so dearly loved a mischievous child ?In an 'I-Don't-Know-What-I'm-Going-To-Do-With-You tone'.

Harry felt Draco's arm around his back, patting it ever so gently. Draco didn't even know what Harry had seen but he already chosen to comfort him for it. It was so unconditional, Harry learned for sure that day, the love they had. Somehow, in some way, he was sure things would turn out okay.

'Don't hate me, Draco,' Harry moped, though he knew Draco wouldn't. 'Please.'

'Be quiet, Harry, for me,' Draco spoke in a firm yet pleading tone. And then he pulled Harry off of the embrace and stared him right in the eye and pulled him in for a kiss. And for a moment it worked; Harry kissed him furiously as if Draco's kiss was the only thing that could heal him. But then Harry pulled off him and cried harder,

'I love you,' Harry said. 'But I can't do this, not now.'

Draco looked neither surprised nor displeased. He just looked inquiringly at Harry, as though curious as to what Harry would do next. Draco crossed his arms and watched Harry carefully. Harry, though, looked just as awful and puzzled before, and now, speechless.

'Harry, what the fuck is wrong with you? What did you see in that?' Draco asked, sounding annoyed, and lacking compassion. Harry did not respond, just gaped at Draco sadly, looking ashamed. 'TELL ME!'

Draco was now shaking with anger and Harry was actually frightened. He rarely saw Draco like this anymore, and wasn't exactly used to it. It was genuinely horrifying as you never knew what Draco might do when angry. Harry was taken aback, and he simply looked straight at Draco and told him.

'I saw Ron and Hermione being tortured horribly,' Harry confessed in a whisper. Draco looked at him very much taken aback and now looking very uncomfortable. But then Draco gave him a very gentle toothless, sad smile and embraced Harry again. It was obvious Draco didn't feel there were words he could say to console him ? And Harry was grateful for that.

Harry did not remember how long they stood there like that with Draco holding him, feeling his temporary embrace as a source of longing relief. But he knew it would not last forever. Still, he attempted to appreciate the temporary bliss.

'I love you, Harry,' Draco finally said in a tired voice. 'But you're such a fuck-up.'

Harry almost laughed at this, but he was sure it wasn't a joke.

'I love you, too,' Harry said. 'Because you're my twin in the fuck-up department.'

Harry giggled and hiccupped at this at the same time.

'Oh, very funny,' Draco said, and let go of the embrace and affectionately patted Harry's head. 'Simply incommodious, you are, you know that?'

Harry smiled at Draco. Harry was quite aware absolutely nothing had changed and that the situation was still bleak and horrendous, but somehow, and as he had always been able to, felt much better after being with Draco. Harry was sure he'd feel a terrible guilt trip over this. He tried not to worry too much about it.

'As are you,' responded Harry. Draco reached out for Harry's hand and they both fell on top of the bed with joined hands, simply enjoying each other. Harry fell back onto the bed with Draco, and head to head they lied down sighing deeply. For a while, they did not speak at all, simply staring at the ceiling together, being lazy and trying to be as thoughtless as possible.

'Do you think we'll live through this war, Harry?' Draco finally asked. And now it changed; it was Draco who wanted answers and was confused. It was Draco showing his concern now.

'If you live through this with me, I swear I will die for you,' Harry said to Draco, plainly, and without emotion, but it meant a lot to him in reality.

'Of course,' Draco said. 'Nos totus intereo unus.'

'Is that Latin? What does that mean?' Harry asked curiously. He didn't know Draco could speak Latin, but at the same time it didn't surprise him. Draco was full of secrets, and it was part of his appeal. His extreme etiquette, however, would only encourage the idea of him speaking more than one language.

'It means 'we all die alone',' Draco explained in a low, depressed sounding voice. Draco stared blankly into space.

'That we do, Draco, that we most definitely do,' Harry said in a gloomy, yet somehow, accepting voice. 'But I'll always wait for you on the other end.'

'That sounds boring,' Draco said, now smiling.

'I hate you sometimes, Draco,' Harry said, as he was upset he had said something so passionate and Draco had such an inadequate response to give back.

'Bugger, Harry, I'm only joking,' Draco said, laughing half-heartedly. And then he spoke in a smaller voice. 'I'd wait for you all eternity.'

Chills flowed right up Harry's spine at these words; no one had ever said anything quite like that to him. Harry had no words to return, so instead he climbed on top of Draco and began kissing him gently. Draco puts his hand on Harry's shoulder, caressing it gently and Harry put his hand on Draco's knee, gently rubbing it affectionately. Harry pushed against Draco, penetrating him with clothes on. Draco moaned.

The entire ordeal seemed not sexual, but sensual. There was a soothing sense to all of it. There were no vehement actions exchanged; Harry did not feel aroused almost, simply happy to have Draco's hands on his body and his own on Draco's. There was something absolutely precious about it.

'Oh, baby,' said Draco softly, as he kissed Harry's neck.

****

Draco sat on the table in the Burrow quietly, watching Granger and Weasley eat in silence. Harry was somewhere else in the house, still quite unready to face his friends. Draco felt no need to force him to do it either. It was up to Harry when Harry needed to face Hermione and Ron. If it were he, Draco, he for sure would not find it easy.

'Hello,' Granger said, not even looking at him. It was obvious she felt sorry for him. Weasley said nothing. 'How are you?'

'How do you think I'm feeling?' Draco retorted sourly, not in the mood for her unneeded sympathy.

'Oh, that's nice,' Ginny said who had just come in for some lunch. 'Don't be such a bother, Draco.'

'He better not be,' Ron said, quite impatiently. 'After the shit we've done for him.'

'I don't need sympathy,' Draco said, ignoring Ron's last comment.

'Yeah, all you need lately is my best friend, right?' said Ron rather heatedly. 'What have you done with Harry?'

'What do you mean, 'what have I done with him'? He's still here, isn't he?' Draco said, and let out a sardonic laugh, but truly feeling angry.

'You all aren't just friends, are you,' said Ron; it wasn't even a question. Hermione grabbed his hand at this point and Ron looked away.

Draco pretended not to hear Ron and looked at Ginny, who looked uncomfortable. At that point, however, Ginny grabbed Draco and took him to the garden outside. She forced him to sit down, but she didn't say anything at first. She just eyed him.

'How is Harry?' she finally asked softly.

'Lost his fucking marbles, Ginny,' growled Draco. 'He can't deal with the guilt of it all.'

'He has no more guilt than you and he certainly redeemed himself, didn't he?' Ginny said, as though annoyed by Harry's sulking.

'Of course he has more guilt to get on with than me,' Draco looked up at Ginny, surprised by her comment. 'I mean, after what happened to your brother and Granger.'

'What are you talking about, Draco?' said Ginny, sounding puzzled.

'What do you mean? They didn't tell you? My God, don't take me,' Draco said, sounding distressed and agitated. 'I don't even know the details ? What did they tell you?'

'That they left to look for Harry, found out about the siege, and got a little sidetracked .... And that's what happened, right?' said Ginny, slowly, and sounding very anxious now. Draco did not answer at all. 'RIGHT?'

'Never mind ...' began Draco but he was cut off.

'Don't talk to me like a child, Draco. Tell me what happened to them. I have a right to know!' said Ginny, rather indignantly. She was quite heated and scary in this situation.

'I know that, Ginny!' Draco retorted, letting out boiled anger inside. 'I'm just not the one to tell you, all right?'

'Well, if Ron and Hermione aren't, then who is?' Ginny screamed.

'FINE! JUST FINE! BUT DON'T TAKE OUT ALL YOUR ANGER ON ME WHEN YOU FIND OUT THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS!' Draco screamed in a hurtful tone, and then took several deep breaths and calmed himself. 'Hermione and Ron sought out Harry and ended up at my house ? And they were bloody tortured.'

'What?' Ginny asked, after she gasped. It was obvious that she was hoping it was some kind of sick joke and she was in obvious disbelief. 'What did you say, Draco?'

'What on earth is all this screaming about?' came a voice from inside. Coming into the garden was Hermione herself, looking pale and frightened. 'What's going on out here?'

Both Ginny and Draco were completely quiet and stared at each other for a second and then at Hermione. Hermione looked uncomfortable. She looked much shaken, more so than ever normal before. Ginny peered at her sadly.

'Oh, Hermione,' said Ginny and ran over to her and embraced her. And then she spoke in a quieter tone. 'Tell me everything.'

'What are you talking about?' asked Hermione in an obviously defensive voice. 'I have nothing to tell you, Ginny.'

'It's fine, Draco told me ....' Ginny began, but Hermione looked furious.

'How does he know?' asked Hermione indignantly. She then turned to Draco. 'How could you know?'

'Harry told me,' Draco said quietly, knowing very well it would go onto a much longer explanation.

'But we didn't tell Harry either ...' Hermione said, more to herself than anything.

Ron came out to the garden then as well. He looked around and asked what was going on. It was then that Hermione broke into tears and Ginny and Ron began to try to comfort her. Draco, feeling very out of place, ran back into the house. On first instinct, he was going to run upstairs to Harry but then felt that might not be a great idea either.

'Get back here, Malfoy,' Ron's voice came. It wasn't angry, but Draco knew if he didn't come, he would get angry. Draco decided to come but only because Ron had had the decency to keep his temper at a dull roar. Reluctantly, still, he walked back out to the garden. Hermione was a human hosepipe.

'How did Harry find out, Draco?' Ginny asked in a sort of begging tone.

'I have a damn good idea how!' said Ron, now angry. 'Did you have him look at my pensieve?'

Draco was furious at the unfairness of that comment. 'No, you arse, I walked in on him looking at it and stopped him!' If Draco had had a club, he was sure he would have hit Ron with it. 'Harry's upstairs feeling shitty right now.'

Everyone was quiet.

'He saw ... Everything?' Hermione's voice came sobbing.

'Just about,' Draco now spoke complete flatly with not a trace of sympathy. 'So if you're done playing the martyrs, I think I'm going to go inside now.'

Draco gave them all, even Ginny, a look of disgust and went inside.

Harry was lying down in Ron's room, lacking energy to get up when he heard a loud crack and someone apparated in the room. Harry nearly fell off the bed in response and looked up and saw someone he surely did not expect in front of him ? Professor McGonagall.

'Good afternoon, Mr. Potter,' she said, as though she had been well invited. 'I hope I find you well, even in the given circumstances.'

'I'm all right, professor,' Harry said slowly, still surprised. 'But what on earth are you doing in the Burrow?'

'I have come to inform you school will be in session once again next Monday,' she said. 'At the very start of November, that is.'

Harry looked at her curiously. That was all good and well, but he was sure she would not come to personally tell him or anyone this. He was sure she had more to say. At the same time, he was grateful for her visit ? He had a million questions to ask.

'How is ... Everything?' Harry finished rather lamely.

'Mr. Potter,' Professor McGonagall said, clearly ignoring Harry. 'There is something you need to know before returning to school.'

'What is that, Professor?' Harry asked, his heart beat speeding up significantly.

'Cho Chang and Seamus Finnigan, both of your good friends, I know, have been reported dead,' she said gravely, and tears were rushing down her eyes. 'I am so sorry.'

A million different emotions ran through Harry at once: sadness, fear, disbelief, shock .... He couldn't take it in or believe it. Seamus Finnigan ... the nice guy he had shared a dormitory for so long ..... And Cho Chang, the girl he had crushed on for so long; envied Cedric for .... Cedric, he was not the person to be thinking about.

It couldn't be possible. How could it be? Harry's first instinct was to ask how it had happened but he found he didn't want to know. Harry found himself falling back onto the pillow and underneath the blanket. He heard Professor McGonagall say something but he wasn't listening. He was responsible now for the death of two people and it was a burden he couldn't take .... He burst into tears. He tried to be quiet so his professor would not see.

'Potter, please don't be self-destructive. You showed a lot of courage; you saved many lives,' Professor McGonagall said gently, trying to take the covers off of him. 'Even if Dumbledore hadn't gone after you, there would have been an attack.'

'NO! IT'S MY FAULT! I WAS A COWARD BEFORE I SHOWED ALL THAT SUPPOSED BRAVERY, PROFESSOR! JUST LET ME ALONE, OKAY? GO TELL RON AND HERMIONE THE NEWS!' Harry screamed at her. He felt so uncaring about his treatment to her though in normal circumstances he wouldn't have dared spoken to her like that. At the moment, however, he didn't find himself caring about anything. People were dead because of him .... Nineteen, in fact, and furthermore, two of his friends. 'Who else is dead?'

'The rest were first and second years,' Professor McGonagall spoke in an actual scared tone. 'I'm quite upset too, Potter.'

'But it isn't your fault they're dead!' Harry said indignantly.

Now, Professor McGonagall looked angry. 'Potter, be sensible! Do not be so bold as to take complete blame for the siege! Is it your fault He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name wrecks havoc and destruction and we were hit horribly? I think not!' Her mouth was very thin, but it went back to normal size almost immediately, and pulled the blanket off Harry. Harry was very surprised when she actually gave him a hug. 'There, now, Potter, it will all be all right.'

Harry cried hard.

Draco lied in bed with Harry hours later, holding him close. He had no words to console, no sarcasm, no harsh words, nothing. He felt it was just kinder of him to say absolutely nothing. He knew very well Harry was still awake, even in the complete darkness, shaking in guilt. Draco held Harry's hand, somehow feeling that he was helping in that way.

McGonagall had told Draco, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny the news of the deaths. Ron took it very badly and Hermione cried very hard. Harry never left Ron's room. Eventually, Draco went up but did not speak once. He simply held him. Harry hadn't eaten a thing all day but he did not try to force Harry to eat. The situation was hopeless. The only healer would be time.

Generally, Draco would think the worst is over. But Draco knew very well the worst was yet to come. Harry had a battle to fight. Draco would only aid Harry through helping him through each step, but Draco was quite sure in the end, it would be Harry alone. And Draco realized if he wanted Harry to succeed he could no longer hate Weasley or Granger, as they were Harry's best friends, and through them, did Harry always succeed. They had to come together.

Draco was very afraid as well. But he knew horror was coming and he would have to face it when it did. He held Harry's hand tighter at this thought. He felt his eyes burning for a moment. Almost instantly, the feeling went away.

'Oh Harry, if you live through this with me, I swear I will die for you,' Draco said, and then finally, he felt Harry fall into a deep, and hopefully, dreamless sleep.