The Fuzzy, Pink Slippers of DOOM

One day, as Harry Potter came walking down a hallway, he tripped over a pair of pink slippers.

"Oh my!" he yelled, and fell. When he came back to consciousness, a couple of hours later, the slippers were still there. "Why are a couple of fuzzy, pink slippers lying in the hallway?" Harry asked himself. He had a habit of talking to himself, since he could not keep his thoughts inside his head.

"They are the One Pair of Fuzzy, Pink Slippers!" a voice suddenly answered. Harry looked up, and spotted Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts.

"...What?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Voldemort's key weapon has finally been found. And it must be destroyed!" Dumbledore proclaimed. Harry thought he could hear dramatic music in the distance, but brushed it off, as his psychiatrist had told him to. "You are the only one who can do this, Harry! All others will fall under the Slippers' spell, and bring them to Voldemort. I dare not touch them."

Not really knowing what to answer, Harry simply nodded.

"Good!" Dumbledore yelled. "Just to make it all even more dramatic, I'm going to say a poem!"

Harry sighed. Not one of those days!

"One Pair of Fuzzy, Pink Slippers to rule them all!

One Pair of Fuzzy, Pink Slippers to find them,

One Pair of Fuzzy, Pink Slippers to bring them

And in the darkness bind them together!"

Harry was, for once, impressed by Dumbledore's poetry, so he began clapping. "BRAVO!" he yelled.

"Now, you must take the Fuzzy, Pink Slippers to the Cauldron of DOOM, and throw them in! Then, we will all be saved from Voldemort!"

"But where can I find this Cauldron of DOOM?" Harry inquired.

"In the Slytherin dungeon. Draco Malfoy has it! Now go, before it is too late!" And with that, Dumbledore Disapparated. Apparently, he didn't care about what Hogwarts: A History said.

Luckily, Harry had his Invisibility Cloak with him.

So Harry put on the Slippers and snuck down to the Slytherin Dungeons, where he waited for someone to go in or out.

Simply because Harry was a very unlucky person, no one came (or went) for two hours. It was in the middle of classes, and, apparently, no one had forgotten a textbook in their dorms.

Finally, after said two hours, Draco Malfoy came sauntering down the hallway, the ever-present smirk on his face.

Malfoy walked over to the bare piece of wall, that was (and still is), is the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room.

"Voldie's Pants," he snapped, and walked in. Harry quickly followed him.

Malfoy headed for a painting of Salazar Slytherin. "Already back, boy?" the painting asked with a smirk.

"Yes, I am. And the password is Mudbloodz zuck, with z's." The painting moved to reveal a hole in the wall. Malfoy walked inside, and Harry hurriedly followed.

"This must be where the Cauldron of DOOM is!" Harry whispered to himself.

Malfoy quickly turned around. "Anyone there!?" he asked, an obvious challenge in his voice.

Harry wanted to say "Yes, me!" since he was not one to say no to a challenge, and step forward, but he knew his mission was important, so he kept silent.

"Oh well..." Malfoy mumbled to himself, and walked through the short hallway, into a damp room.

He headed directly for a big, DOOMy looking cauldron. While Malfoy was stirring the contents, Harry snuck nearer.

Harry let out a fierce battle cry, and threw the One Pair of Fuzzy, Pink Slippers into the cauldron, which was obviously the Cauldron of DOOM!

The liquid in the Cauldron of DOOM quickly turned pink, then purple, then red and then, finally, turned into a ghastly shade of orange.

"WHO'S THERE!?" Draco yelled, and whipped around.

Harry took of the Cloak. "It's just me."

"Oh... What were you doing?"

"I threw in the One Pair of Fuzzy, Pink Slippers!"

"...Huh?"

"It was Voldemort's secret weapon!"

"So you threw it into the special tea Dumbledore ordered!?"

"...What!?" Harry half-screamed. Would this poison Dumbledore!?

"Oh! Now I see it!" Draco proclaimed. "He did say he'd send you down with a special ingredient... It's not that bad, then..."

"Oh, good! My task is done then!" Harry sighed in relief, and sat down on the damp dungeon floor.

Draco took the tea in the Cauldron of DOOM off the heat, and sat down next to Harry.

"So. What are you going to do now?" he asked Harry.

"Nothing, I guess. You?"

"Snog you?"

"Okay!"

And Draco proceeded and snogged Harry half-senseless. The effect worked the other way around, too.

And that is the tale of how Harry saved the wizarding world from Voldemort!