Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

"Have you seen the news?" Harry asked his publicist and manager, Jason Elias, (who sounded somewhat like a cars salesman) over the phone.

'Oh yeah, great publicity! I'd be scared if you weren't in the tabloids. That's the first sign that a stars career is over. Or they're just too boring, or a goody two shoes," Jason chuckled. Yeah right, a good two shoes in Hollywood!

"What career?" Harry asked. "I haven't got one."

"Sure you do," said Jason, never actually mentioning what career that was. "Anyway, the ladies love you, and that's what counts. So, photo shoot tomorrow at four. Don't be late, you're going to be on the front cover of Teen People with Paris Hilton!" Jason said excitedly and hung up.

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"Guess what I found?" Mr. Weasley said walking in from a long day at work.

"What?" asked Mrs. Weasley. "And why are you so late?

"I'm getting to that Molly," said Mr. Weasley. "After work I decided to go to one of those Muggle libraries."

Mrs. Weasley was already not liking where this was going.

"And I discovered the most extraordinary thing!"

"What?" said Ron.

"A commuter!" said Mr. Weasley impressively. "They have tons of them! And you can surf spiders there too! "

"I think you mean a *computer*," said Hermione, "and the *web*."

"The what?" Ron said.

"The web - internet," said Hermione. "You can talk to friends, look up information..."

"Yes that's what I did!" said Mr. Weasley. "I looked up Harry."

"And?" said Mrs. Weasley.

"I found his address," said Mr. Weasley pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Are you sure it's real?" said Hermione.

"There's only one way to find out," said Mr. Weasley.

"Oh let's celebrate!" Mrs. Weasley said. "We'll invite Ginny and Jake over, and Remus, of course. Oh, and what about Dumbledore, do you think he'd come?"

"Of course he'd come, we have Harry's address!" said Hermione.

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"Why are we going over your parents again?" asked Jake.

"I don't know," said Ginny pulling her hair into a ponytail. "All they said was they had some wonderful exciting news."

"Well don't where anything too nice. It's only your parents."

Ginny blocked his annoying nerdy voice out of her mind, along with the thought of spending the rest of her life with him.

XxXxXxX

"What did you call us here for? What have we got to celebrate?" asked Remus.

"We've got good news!" said Mrs. Weasley.

"Well tell us already so we can all go home," said Jake.

Despite the fact that most of the people in the room hated Jake, they all agreed with him ... for once.

"Well earlier today I got on a commuter," Mr. Weasley said.

"Computer," corrected Hermione.

"Yes, that. And I looked up Harry and I found his address."

Silence greeted his statement.

"Who?" said Jake.

"HARRY," Ginny said loudly in his ear, as if she was speaking to someone half deaf. "HARRY POTTER!"

"You have Harry's address?" said Remus.

"Yes! But we decided to leave it up to Remus and Dumbledore to decided what to write. You were closest to him, and might be able to help him see reason."

"Harry?" Remus said dazed.

"Yes, Remus, Harry! Isn't it wonderful?" said Mrs. Weasley happily.

"Who cares?" said Ginny. "It's not like he wants to hear from any of us anyway."

"Ginny hush," said Mrs. Weasley. "Just because you don't care doesn't mean no one else does."

"I'm afraid to say young Miss Weasley has a point," said Dumbledore. "Harry doesn't want to be bothered, why don't we just let him be?"

"What?" asked Hermione. "Don't you care about Harry anymore?"

"We don't even know Harry anymore, Hermione," said Ron.

"What's the matter with you all? Harry needs help! He needs us!" Hermione said.

But it seemed that only Mr. and Mrs. Weasley agreed with her.

"Fine! I'll just do it myself! Thanks for your support Ron!" said Hermione storming out of the room.

XxXxXxX

"Okay Harry you just stand there," said Jason.

Paris Hilton and Harry faced each other and looked at the camera. Paris put her arms around Harry's neck.

"Smile Harry!" said Jason, practically bouncing up and down with happiness.

"I don't smile," said Harry.

"Oh just do it Harry," Jason said a little less enthusiastically.

Harry gave a fake but dazzling smile.

Then Jasons cell phone rang.

"Yes? What? Alright hold on," said Jason. "Stop the shoot for a second."

Jason walked a ways off and was mumbling to someone, and looking not very happy.

"Okay," said Jason snaping his cell shut. "We have to do this some other time. Harry, if you get any *strange* mail, ignore it. They are dangerous busy bodies trying to ruin your career."

"What career?" asked Harry, but Jason ignored him.

"On second thought, it's better if you just stay here. Wait until I get back and then we can finish. So just sit there and look pretty Harry," said Jason.

Harry sat down.

"Smile," coaxed Harry.

Harry smiled again but his expression clearly said 'I'm going to hurt you."

"Good, happy Harry!" he said running off. "Happy, happy, everybodies happy."

"Is he on something?" asked Paris.

"Probably," said Harry.

"What did you mean by you didn't have a career? You're everywhere!"

"So?"

"So? You're famous! Being famous is a career. We were born into this. We didn't have to do anything. You're like Prince William or," said Paris pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts, "Gandhi!"

"Gandhi?"

"Yeah! Don't you know who Gandhi is?"

"Yeah I do," said Harry. "Are you sure you do?"

"Okay everythings fine, everythings A-Okay! Back on track!" said Jason coming back into the studio. "Back to work people!"

"Somethings seriously wrong with him," said Harry.

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