Swept From the Past

Chapter 42: Ron's secret

Harry walked alone in the corridors, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak. For the past two days, his relationship with Ron had been tense. His friend was definitely awkward. He rarely spoke and took any opportunity to be alone. Something bothered him. Harry had felt it was not the right time to ask questions. Two days ago, he had mentioned Marietta's name, and Ron had run away as fast as he could, pretending he had something important to do. Harry didn't want to quarrel with Ron, so he hadn't insisted. But he was curious. Seeing Ron's name on the map close to Marietta's, Harry had decided that he would spy on his friend to know what was going on.

What the hell were Ron and Marietta doing together in the Owlery at nine in the evening? Harry walked as fast as he could, trying not to jostle the few students that were coming back to their dormitories. If only he had looked at the Map earlier!

Several minutes later, Harry reached his destination. Marietta and Ron were already in the corridor, leaving. Harry listened to the last scraps of conversation, hoping not to be discovered. He had walked so fast that he was out of breath.

"...we'll settle that after the Ball," Marietta said.

Settle what? Harry wondered what they were talking about.

"But," Ron replied. "I want to--"

"That's it," Marietta snapped. "Goodnight." She turned to leave.

Ron stood in front of the Owlery and stared at Marietta until she disappeared from view. He looked worried... and upset?

"Damn!" Ron exclaimed. He left too.

Harry didn't know what to think. He was furious and frustrated. He had missed the conversation! He stared at the Marauder's Map, following the dot labelled with Ron's name, heading off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

Harry was tempted to go and speak to him, but another name caught his attention: Ginny.

For two days, Harry had tried to speak to her. But each time, they had been interrupted. Well... interrupted was not the right word, since Harry hadn't really spoken to her. He had been interrupted each time he'd tried to do something.

The first time, Neville had talked to Harry, making him lose his concentration. The second time, Justin Finch-Fletchley had talked to Ginny. Harry had been anxious that Justin would ask her to the Ball in his place. The third time, Harry had managed to step forward and say a shy "hello Ginn--" But a few Wildfire Whiz-bangs had burst at the same time, drowning out his voice. Ginny hadn't noticed his presence, and Harry had lost all his courage.

Tonight, Ginny worked in the library with Hermione. Now was probably his last chance. He had to go and ask her. Luckily, Harry had taken his schoolbag with him. He removed his cloak and put the cape and the Marauder's Map inside.

Harry entered the library. He took a deep breath and walked to the girls' table.

"Hi," he whispered when he arrived at the girls' table. "Can I sit here?"

Hermione and Ginny nodded.

Harry sat on his chair without a word. Fine, now he was at the right place... But he couldn't speak to Ginny here. How would he manage to ask her? She seemed to be focused on her book and didn't pay attention to him. Which was good on one hand. Harry felt he was blushing. He kept all his attention on his book... which book was it, actually? Ah, yes... Potions. Harry grimaced. Thinking of Snape wasn't the best thing when you were trying to ask a girl for a date. Although it was not a date, but a simple Ball, where Harry would speak to Ginny, dance with her, be very close to her... Oh, not that flush again!

He raised his head from his book and noticed that Hermione was staring at him. She looked strangely amused. Harry didn't find it amusing at all. He felt very embarrassed. He fought against the urge to leave the library and return to his common room.

'Come on,' he thought. 'You faced a Magyar, you fought against Voldemort, and you even can't ask a girl to a Ball?' It was ridiculous.

'No, I can't,' a second voice replied in his head. 'I definitely can't and I'm leaving!' Harry stood up, packed his books, and left.

"Harry," Ginny's voice called from behind when he was walking in the corridors. Harry spun around, surprised. Ginny joined him.

"I've had enough of books for tonight," she said. "Hermione stayed to work. You know her, she won't be satisfied until Madam Pince throws her out of the library." Ginny smiled.

Harry didn't reply. The words were stuck in his throat. He nodded.

An awkward silence followed. They kept walking.

"So," Ginny said, "any partner for the Spring Ball?"

Harry's heart almost stopped. He shook his head and uttered a shy "No." He felt a new rush of heat on his face.

"Want to invite someone?" Ginny asked.

"Yes," Harry replied. "I mean... no. Er... dunno." Harry felt ridiculous. He couldn't answer properly. His brains seemed to be jammed, as was his mouth.

"Maybe we could go together?" Ginny asked. "If you have no one to invite..."

Now Harry was sure his heart had stopped... until he realised his heart was beating harder than it had ever beaten.

'Say something,' he thought. 'Say something.'

"Yeah," he replied out loud.

'Say something better,' his mind exclaimed. 'You're sounding like Dudley!'

"It would be great," he continued.

'Now,' he thought, 'look at her. Stop staring at the floor. She'll think you're an idiot! Come on, you can do it. Raise your eyes from the floor and stare at her.'

"Well," Ginny said, disappointment in her voice, "you don't look very happy."

Harry jumped. "Er," he replied. Just looking at her took all his courage. He gulped. "No," he said. "I'm glad to go with you. Really. It's great! I'm just... er..."

Again, Harry didn't know what to respond.

"Okay," Ginny said. "Goodnight."

"What?" Harry asked.

"I said 'goodnight,'" Ginny repeated.

Harry realised that they were standing in the Gryffindor common room.

Ginny laughed. "You're very strange tonight," she said. She took off in the direction of the girls' dormitories.

"Goodnight," Harry replied. He stayed motionless in front of the door of the girls' dormitories for almost a minute. Then his brains slowly managed to work again.

"I'm going to the Ball with her," he murmured. Harry couldn't believe it... she had asked him to go with her.

"That's good news!" Hermione's voice asked from behind.

Harry spun around. Hermione stood in front of him, a big smile on her face.

"You're not in the library?" Harry asked.

"I think I've worked enough for today," she said. "And I wanted to know if you had managed to speak with Ginny."

"Oh," Harry responded awkwardly, "well..."

"I'm going to the Ball with Dean," Hermione said. "He asked me today."

"That's great!" Harry exclaimed. He felt relieved. If Hermione hadn't been invited, he would have felt very bad. But now that she would go with Dean, everything was all right. And he would go with Ginny. Life couldn't be better... or maybe it could be if Ron stopped being so strange.

When Harry returned to his common room, Ron was already sleeping and snoring in his bed.

***

Severus Snape entered the staff room, carrying a list of the students he had punished this week. Professor Burns was sitting at a table, writing on parchments. Probably student essays. Severus put up the list on the wall and sat at another table. Since they had kissed, Burns had avoided him. She hadn't come to the Great Hall for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Each time her classes ended, she went to her office and closed the door behind her. Severus hadn't had any occasion to talk to her.

Severus glared at Flitwick, who sat at a table too. Couldn't the little man leave the room? The Potions master wanted to approach Burns, but not with anyone around. And Flitwick didn't seem ready to leave. He was surrounded by books and parchments. Severus had to find a pretext to get rid of him. For several minutes, the Potions master tried to find a subtle stratagem. Then he'd had enough. He had nothing subtle in his head now, but maybe he had something better. After all, Dumbledore had found it amusing to manipulate him. Maybe it was time to pay him back his own coin.

Severus stood up and went to Flitwick's table. He leant over the table and pretended to be interested in the books Flitwick had in front of him.

"May I?" he asked, taking one of them.

Flitwick nodded.

"Hmmm," Severus said, screwing up his eyes. "Sir Glorinful's Travels, Volume VI."

He paused and opened the book. It bore the stamp of the library. Perfect.

"Haven't you seen the Headmaster?" he asked. He feigned surprise.

"No," Flitwick said. "Why?"

"Oh," Severus replied, "I'm not sure, but... this morning, Professor Dumbledore mentioned that he had searched the whole night for a volume of Sir Glorinful's Travels. He said that he needed to consult it immediately." Severus paused. "Have you taken this one from the library?" Severus asked conversationally.

"Oh..." Flitwick replied. He blushed from embarrassment. "Yes. Do you think it could be...?"

"I'm not sure," Severus responded softly. "I think that the Headmaster talked about the sixth volume. He only mentioned it once. But it's probably not the same volume."

Severus put the book back on the table and returned to his place.

"He spent the whole night searching for it?" Flitwick asked. He appeared agitated.

"I guess so," Severus replied silkily.

"I think that I should check if this is not the same book then," Flitwick said. With a flick of his wand, he packed all his books and parchments and left.

Severus smirked. It had been so easy... He moved to Burns' table and took a seat. Then he stared at her. She didn't react.

"So," Severus said, trying to establish a contact.

"Nice trick," Burns replied, without raising her eyes from her parchments. She snorted.

"You've avoided me for two days," Severus said. "We have to talk!"

"You're wrong, Professor Snape," Burns replied. "I've avoided you for more than fifteen years. And I don't have time to chat."

Severus was exasperated. "You kissed me!" he exclaimed.

"I?" Burns retorted. She raised her head and stared at him with a shocked expression. "I didn't kiss you!" she exclaimed. "You did!"

"You returned the kiss!" Severus replied.

"I did not," Burns retorted.

"Yes, you did!" Severus exclaimed. Of course she had returned his kiss. He hadn't made it up!

"You took advantage of me," Burns exclaimed. "In my normal state, you'd never get a kiss from me!"

Severus was about to say it was not true, when something hit him. "So you admit it," he replied softly.

"Admit what?" Burns asked.

"That you kissed me," Severus responded silkily. "And I'm sure that you liked it." It felt good to provoke her.

"Greasy bastard!" Burns shouted. She slammed her fist on the table. "There's nothing I liked about that disgusting kiss!"

"That's not what I saw," Severus replied. "You wanted this kiss as much as I did."

"Oh, I agree," Burns said between clenched teeth. "You wanted to kiss a disgusting half-blood as much as I wanted to kiss you."

"For the last time," Severus hissed, "there's nothing disgusting in you! You're the most attractive woman I've ever seen!"

"Oh, shut up!" Burns exclaimed. She screwed up her eyes. "The most attractive woman you've ever seen? Four years of dating and you didn't even touch me!" She snorted. "Attractive? Pity!"

Severus was puzzled. He hadn't expected this response. "It's not what you think," he replied with exasperation. "It had nothing to do with what I felt or what I wanted!"

"There are two possibilities," Burns snapped. "Either I was a very attractive woman and you were a eunuch, or you were a Death Eater with the mission to seduce a disgusting half-blood. Which one do you prefer?" She pouted.

"There's a third possibility," Severus whispered under his breath. "A Death Eater in love with you, who betrayed the Dark Lord for you. A very frustrated man, who couldn't risk removing his clothing and letting you see his mark."

Burns laughed. "I'm not that gullible," she retorted. "What an idiot I've been! Waiting for my... fiancé although he was probably having fun with other women."

"Certainly not!" Severus shouted. He leant over the table, more enraged than ever. "There were no other women!" he hissed, looking her straight in the eye. "No one. Never. What sort of man do you think I am? Becoming a Death Eater was my mistake. I've paid for it! I didn't know you would suffer that way. I did all that I could to protect you, even if I failed!"

How dare she say that he had been unfaithful to her? He had made lots of mistakes, but not this one!

"And your father protected my mother," Burns spat.

Severus sighed with irritation. "I didn't know what he had done," he replied. "Mother told me a few months before... Hallowe'en." Severus said the last part of the sentence with effort. "The awful hag wanted to ruin our relationship. I didn't know how to tell you the truth. I was terrified."

"Liar," Burns spat.

"I'm not lying to you!" Severus exclaimed. "If you had kept your bloody memories, you would know that I was sincere in my feelings!"

Suddenly, Professors McGonagall and Sprout entered the staff room. Severus glared at them. "This is a private discussion," he hissed. "Can't you come back later?"

Both teachers threw him shocked stares, especially McGonagall. Burns packed her parchments. "The conversation is over," she said. She snapped her fingers and Disapparated.

Severus furiously left the room. He returned to his office. Damn! Why had those women arrived at that moment? His conversation with Burns had been interrupted again, and she had left. How could they make up, if they could never finish a discussion?

Burns couldn't believe that he had found her attractive. She didn't know how difficult it had been for him not to touch her. He had controlled himself all the time.

Maintaining control had been especially difficult in her flat in London -- a bigger one, close to the Ministry of Magic, where she had moved after she'd completed her training. She had got a special authorisation, which allowed Severus to come through the Floo Network to her place. He'd come every weekend, sometimes during the week, and occupied the free bedroom.

Katarina had kept asking him why they had to sleep separately. But Severus had known he wouldn't be able to resist if they had shared the same bed. It was already difficult when she was close to him, so it would have been unbearable to spend his nights without touching her. And if Katarina had tried to seduce him, which the little temptress often did, he would have jumped on her.

One day, he had almost committed the irreparable...

***

London, Katarina's new apartment, early June, Severus' third year as a Potions assistant.

Severus sat on a chair and watched Katarina trying to cook. She had spent her afternoon in the kitchen, and the result was a disaster. Severus had understood why she never cooked for him before. She wasn't talented at all. Dinner looked and smelled strange. Severus took a mouthful of the substance steaming in front of him and grimaced. It was too salty and burnt.

"Oh, God!" Katarina exclaimed. She opened the magical oven and waved her hand to disperse the smoke. "I've forgotten to put on the timer!" she groaned. "They are ruined!" She coughed. "How is dinner, Honey?"

"Hmmm, good," Severus replied. He tried to hide his scowl and took a drink.

"Really?" Kat asked. She arched an eyebrow.

"Hmmm, yes," Severus retorted politely. It was probably the worst thing he had ever eaten. But Katarina had spent several hours cooking for him. He didn't want to disappoint her.

"Severus...?" Kat said. She observed him more attentively, a look of amusement in her eyes.

"Yes, Dear?" he responded.

"It's awful, isn't it?" she asked.

"No... it's great..." Severus replied awkwardly.

"You're kind, Honey," she said, "but you really don't need to eat that disgusting thing."

She waved her wand and uttered a spell. Dinner disappeared.

She sighed. "I ruin everything," she said sadly. "I can't sew back on a button. I can't iron. The flat is always in a mess. And I can't even cook a simple meal. I'll be the worst wife ever."

Severus held her by her arm and made her sit on his lap.

"I don't want to marry a house-elf," he said softly, "but an adorable, good-for-nothing girl. Don't forget I taught you Potions a long time ago. You were already a Miss Catastrophe. With such weak abilities, you couldn't cook well, Miss Burns dinner."

"Oh, idiot!" she replied. She hit him gently on the shoulder and kissed him.

"See," Severus responded when their lips parted, "You're the perfect wife for me. The only one who can bear my bad temper and make my anger fade with just a kiss."

"It's too difficult to wait until marriage when you talk to me like that," she said dreamily. "Oh, God... How much longer?" she said as if she didn't remember. "Less than five months?"

"Yes, less than five months," Severus responded as if he was absent-minded. He wanted her to think he didn't care about sex. He suddenly regretted making her sit on his knees.

"I can't believe you can remain that calm!" Katarina exclaimed. "How do you manage that? Aren't men supposed to be more... you know?"

"I don't know," he replied quietly, "maybe it's a question of concentration."

A question of concentration? Yeah, right. Severus snorted inwardly. Now his concentration was focused on their wedding night. What were men supposed to be? Horny? Ready to bring their girlfriend to bed? You're joking!

"I don't believe you," Katarina replied. "I'm sure you just drink some kind of Potion!"

"No, I don't, silly girl!" Severus replied. He smiled slightly. "It's all in the mind! I decide to control myself and then my desire follows," he said with self-assurance.

Come on, that was rubbish! Especially now. Severus had already thought of many Potions. But some had weird, awful side effects he didn't want to experience.

"Oh, yes?" Kat retorted, a defiant smile on her lips.

"Absolutely!" he claimed. Hey! What was that smile? What was she planning?

"You look tired," she said after two or three seconds, as if she wanted to change the subject. It was strange. Kat never gave up so easily.

"No, I'm fine," Severus responded coldly.

"I guess," Kat continued, "that you're a little tense."

Severus raised an eyebrow. Tense? What did she mean? Did she notice something?

"No, I'm not," he hissed.

"Oh, yes, you are, Honey," Kat retorted. "There are knots in your shoulders," she said.

Severus felt relieved. His shoulders... However, he didn't feel relieved for long. Kat massaged his shoulders through his black clothes. Too agreeably. Severus felt he had to stop her, or...

"No, there are n--" Severus responded.

Katarina interrupted him with a delicious kiss. Her hands kneaded his shoulders and went down his back. She cuddled up to him. He tried to keep control, but he embraced her and kissed her too. He wasn't able to stop. Kat slowly unbuttoned his black shirt. She softly caressed the bare skin of his chest. He became mad at this pleasing contact and wanted more. He couldn't manage to stop himself. He kissed her neck. He undressed her unconsciously, his hands going up along her waist, under her t-shirt. Merlin, he didn't want to stop!

Severus ceased thinking. Kat moved her hands again to his shoulders, under his clothes. She slowly removed his shirt. Severus showered her left shoulder with kisses. He made the strap of her black bra slide. He kissed her lips hungrily again. His shirt now hung from his left sleeve, barely covering his arm. Severus suddenly came to his senses. He broke off the kiss. "No!" he exclaimed angrily, pushing Katarina back.

Katarina stood up brutally, a pained expression on her face. She left without a word, tears in her eyes.

"What a stupid bastard!" Severus hissed. Why had he reacted so violently? He got dressed again immediately and ran after her. Of course, Katarina wouldn't understand why he had rejected her! He had to bring her back!

"Kat!" he called. He hoped she would not be far away now. "KAT!!!" he yelled, looking around. It was already dark outside and there was no sign of her anywhere.

He wandered the town for hours. Then around midnight, he finally found her. She was sitting on a bench in a little park, in front of a pond which reflected the full moon. She was holding her face in her hands, sobbing.

"Kat!" he exclaimed. He reached the bench as quickly as he could. "Thank God!" he said, sighing deeply. "I've found you!"

Katarina didn't respond. She just wiped her tears.

"Kat?" he repeated. She didn't reply. "Katarina," he hissed angrily. "I worried about you! I spent the evening looking for you all over town!"

"So what?" she replied sharply. "You see I'm not dead! I know how to defend myself. This is my job. I'm an Auror!" She stood up to leave.

"Hey!" Severus exclaimed. "You can't leave now that I've found you, insufferable girl!"

"It didn't bother you to get rid of me a few hours ago!" she responded coldly. "If you don't want to marry me anymore, just say it!"

Severus didn't know what to reply. How startled he was by her answer! Of course he had pushed her away, but he didn't expect her to think he didn't want to be with her. How could she doubt him?

"I didn't want to get rid of you," he whispered under his breath. "But it's difficult to resist you, little temptress."

"Difficult to resist?" Katarina repeated sharply. "Rejecting me is difficult? When I'm with you, I feel you see me as a tart! I feel like a sex maniac. And sometimes... I feel as attractive as a slug. An ugly slug!" She sat back on the bench and fell into tears again.

Severus was distressed to see her so affected. He sat beside her. "Katar--" he said.

"Why did you ask me to marry you?" she interrupted. "Because we had quarrelled? Was it your way to make up with me? Did this proposal have any meaning to you? A while ago, you said 'I was not useful anymore.' Now I want a reply. Are we together because I am useful? Only because I'm here for you? Or because you love me?"

Severus' jaw clenched. His eyes narrowed. It hurt. He felt as if Katarina didn't know him.

"You already know the response," he hissed.

"I have two possibilities," Katarina replied icily. "Which one must I choose?"

"Don't you know me well enough to answer that yourself?" Severus whispered under his breath.

"You want me to reply?" Katarina retorted. "All right. I'll tell you what I know," she said gravely. "I know how much I have missed you the last few years. How much you made me cry. How much I hoped to see you on the weekends. How sad I was when you cancelled at the last minute. I know the pain I had when I received your cold letters. The pain I have each time I realise you don't want to be with me. So I guess I have the right to a clear response from you."

Severus stared at her without a word. He was aware his attitude had often been more than cold. That Katarina had often been pained. She had mentioned it the last time they had quarrelled, but... Severus realised she had been more afflicted by the situation than he had thought.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were so miserable?" he asked coldly.

"Because..." she responded, "you had your studies. And a good job in Hogwarts. Something which required time. I didn't want you to work less and sacrifice your chance for me. As for the letters, I didn't want to force you to write things you obviously didn't want to say. And I... I just didn't want you to leave me."

"Leave you?" Severus whispered. He was flabbergasted.

"I know perfectly well you don't need me as much as I need you," Katarina murmured. "And it's okay. But--"

"Silence," Severus interrupted. He was so infuriated that he clutched her shoulders. "I will not let you say that, irritating, insane girl. Do you think I asked you to marry me because I thought you were useful? You can't sew, iron, clean, or cook. And I think you're the worst cook I've ever seen in my life. Yet I still want to marry you. Don't you think it means I need you?"

Severus noticed Katarina's surprised and scared expression. He calmed his anger and embraced her.

"When you are too close to me," he murmured in her left ear, "when you touch me, it is a real torture. You will understand on our wedding night. I will prove you how much I care for you."

"I don't understand," Katarina said, her voice quavering. "If we want each other, why must we wait? What a big deal if we're not married yet?"

"Because marriage is a sacred union," Severus replied, still in her ear. "The engagement ring I offered to you is the symbol of our shared love. But when we get married, we will belong to each other."

"We already belong to each other," Katarina said. "At least, my heart belongs to you."

"And mine belongs to you," Severus whispered. "But after our marriage, we will magically belong to each other." He sighed. "I adore you, silly girl. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to marry you and make love to you more than anything. But I want it to be sacred. To seal our wedding. We will be linked by a powerful magic. More powerful than if we consummate our relationship now."

It was true. Lovers who stayed virgins until they were married were linked to each other by an ancient magic. Their marriage was blessed and the chances were that it worked. Nowadays, few wizards waited so long though.

"I want our marriage to work," he said.

He stared at Katarina. Her features softened.

"All right," she said after a few seconds. "I want it to work too." She sighed. "So you don't have any Anti-Desire potion?"

"No," Severus replied. "It exists, but I didn't drink it. Too dangerous for certain sensitive parts of men's bodies." His upper lip curled. "Another thing which is sacred."

Katarina laughed. "Jesus," she exclaimed, "I'm glad you didn't drink it."

***

Yes, he hadn't drunk those potions at the time. Later, when he had realised that Katarina would never come back, he had worked on them. When he'd been sure the potions weren't dangerous, he had taken them. He hadn't wanted to feel desire anymore. It was already difficult to live with the idea she was dead, so thinking they hadn't even made love -- because of him -- was unbearable.

Burns was unfair with him. She didn't know anything about his pain, his suffering. She didn't know what he had felt when he'd realised he had lost everything. That he had been responsible for his own misfortune.

***

Harry and Ron left Care of Magical Creatures and were returning to the castle. Harry tried to speak, but Ron wasn't very talkative.

"Interesting lesson today," Harry said.

"Yeah," Ron replied.

"It's cool to learn about the Loch Ness Monster," Harry continued.

"Yeah," Ron repeated. He appeared to be thinking.

"If the Dursleys knew about that," Harry continued, "they'd have a heart-attack! They've planned to go there soon! Imagine Dudley's face if he meets the monster?"

Harry laughed. He imagined 'Dinky Diddydums,' coming face to face with the monster and shrieking like a girl. Maybe the monster would have him for dinner? Although Dudley was surely too big to be swallowed by the creature.

"Yeah," Ron replied. Obviously, he hadn't listened to a word Harry had said.

"Ron!" Harry exclaimed. "What's up with you?"

"Uh?" Ron responded. He stared at Harry.

"Ron," Harry replied. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Ron responded.

"You seem... weird these days," Harry said.

"I am not," Ron grumbled. He looked away.

"YES you are!" Harry exclaimed, getting angry. Ron was hiding something from him and he continued to act strangely, although he knew Harry had noticed something!

"Dunno what you mean," Ron replied.

"You've been acting weird for the last couple of days!" Harry exclaimed. "You even asked Marietta to go to the Ball with you!"

"So what?" Ron retorted, his face becoming red. "I've found a partner for that bloody Ball!"

What was Ron playing at? Inviting Marietta was almost as if he had invited a Slytherin. Of course Ron knew what Harry meant!

"But why Marietta?" Harry asked.

"'Cause she was free," Ron replied. "Can't I invite whom I want?"

"Have you forgotten about DA?" Harry exclaimed, upset. "She betrayed us! She went to see Umbridge!"

"That was last year," Ron retorted.

"What?" Harry exclaimed. "Last year, this year... it doesn't matter! I don't get it... I can't believe you asked her! With all the girls in the school, why the hell did you--"

"'Cause I had to, okay?" Ron shouted.

An awkward silence followed. Harry was flabbergasted. Ron had to invite her?

Ron looked very embarrassed. His face was red and he looked away.

"I don't--" Harry said.

"She... she forced me," Ron interrupted.

"She forced you?" Harry asked. "How could she force you to invite her?"

Ron was not the kind of boy who'd be forced to do anything. What was going on?

"I don't under--" Harry said.

"I cheated, all right!" Ron exclaimed.

"What?" Harry asked, surprised. Cheated? About what?

"On my last Transfigurations' exams," Ron replied. "I used a Revealing Quill to get the answers. Marietta saw me. She stole the quill from me. She said she'd tell McGonagall if I didn't invite her to the Ball!"

Harry's mouth fell agape. "A Revealing Quill?" he asked.

"Fred and George's new invention," Ron grumbled. "Anti-Cheating Spells don't work on it. The quill works by itself and writes the correct answers. Bloody difficult to hold a moving quill. Marietta spotted the trick."

"And now she's blackmailing you?" Harry asked, puzzled. How had Marietta noticed the quill? Harry sat next to Ron all the time. He hadn't seen anything!

"Yeah," Ron responded. "She'll give the quill back to me after the Ball. Should be sorted in Slytherin."

Harry didn't reply. It was very Slytherin to cheat. He couldn't even picture Hermione's shocked expression if she learnt that Ron had used a Revealing Quill on an exam. Harry didn't even want to imagine McGonagall's reaction either. Vampires suddenly seemed very attractive...

"But," Harry said, "how can she prove that you used the quill?"

"There's a spell to know who used objects," Ron said. He grimaced.

"Oh," Harry replied. He didn't understand why Ron hadn't talked to him about that. "Er..." he asked finally, "why did you cheat?"

"I hadn't studied," Ron replied. "I shouldn't have tried the trick. Now I'll have to go with Marietta! If Mum learns I've cheated, she'll kill me!"

Ron was right. Mrs. Weasley's reaction would be worse than Hermione's or McGonagall's. And it'd bring trouble to Fred and George. Mrs. Weasley would shout at them because they had sold a Revealing Quill to their brother.

"I'm... I'm sorry, mate," Harry replied. He didn't know what to say.

"Yeah, I know," Ron responded. He shuddered. "Going to the Ball with her... Weird! I think she did that for revenge."

Harry remembered Marietta's awful face, covered with purple pustules. He couldn't repress a smirk.

"Nice pustules," Harry said. "It's a shame she didn't keep them."

"Yeah," Ron replied. "Hey! She wouldn't go to the Ball if she looked ugly! Maybe I should ask Fred and George for something to give her spots?"

"I don't think it's a good idea," Harry said regretfully. Marietta deserved to be punished, but the situation would get worse. "She'll try to get revenge again," Harry continued. "You'll get into more trouble."

Ron grimaced.

"Er," Harry said awkwardly. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you."

Ron cleared his throat and looked away. "Uh," he said, his face redder than ever, "Fred and George sent two Revealing Quills to me. One for me, and, er... one for you. I... er... practised on mine, but I broke it. I hadn't studied, and the exam was the following day. Since you had worked, I thought, er..."

So that was it? Ron had used Harry's quill for the exam without asking him? Then Marietta had blackmailed Ron, and he'd been so embarrassed that he hadn't wanted to talk about this story to his friend?

"You should have talked to me!" Harry said. "I wouldn't have used the Revealing Quill anyway."

"I'm sorry, mate," Ron said. He looked relieved. "I'd written to Fred and George to ask them for another quill, but they ran out of stock."

"Next time," Harry said, "tell me if there's something wrong."

"All right," Ron replied. "Anyway, I swear I'll never try those Revealing Quills again. As soon as Marietta gives the quill back to me, I'll burn it."

"Wise decision," Harry said. He was glad that everything was back to normal.

***

Severus Snape walked in the corridors when he saw Potter with Weasley. Potter junior was exactly like his father. Always strutting because he had survived the Dark Lord. Always arrogant, showing his scar to everyone. Always getting in trouble, but never getting punished.

And Weasley... Potter's little puppet, who followed him wherever he went. Conceited too, although he shouldn't be.

Potter stared at Severus an instant, throwing a nasty look at him. The Potions master glared at Potter too.

"Five points from Gryffindor," he said.

"What?" Potter exclaimed.

"You shouldn't stare at your teachers that way," Severus replied.

Potter threw him a murderous stare.

"Tut-tut," Severus said with a smirk. "Ten points from Gryffindor now." And it would be fifteen points very soon, if Potter kept glaring at him.

"Come on, mate," Weasley grumbled, grabbing Potter by the arm. The two students left.

Even when he was a baby, Potter junior had been an awful little thing who had bothered Severus. That mosquito had entered Severus' life without being invited, hogging all the attention. A real Potter...

***

London, Katarina's apartment, end of June, Severus' third year as a Potions assistant.

Severus took the Floo Network to pay a surprise visit to Katarina. He wanted to make her forget about all those times he'd cancelled their dates at the last minute. But when he entered the sitting room, he realised something was different from usual. A cradle stood in the middle of the room.

"Severus?" Katarina asked. She was in the doorway of her bedroom, an expression of surprise on her face.

Severus stared at her. He made a few steps to the cradle. "What is this?" he hissed, pointing at the thing in the cradle.

"It's a baby," Katarina replied. She moved forward, leant over the cradle and smiled.

"I know that's a baby," Severus retorted coldly. "Why is it here?"

"I'm babysitting for Lily and James," Katarina responded.

She took the baby in her arms and rocked him slowly. She held his head carefully. The baby made irritant, little noises.

Severus frowned. "Babysitting?" he said reproachfully.

Why had the Potters asked Katarina to baby-sit? The Dark Lord was searching for them. Why the hell had they left their hiding place? Especially to bring their brat to Katarina's apartment! And why did she accept? Severus was really mad. Katarina knew that the Potters were hiding. But Severus wasn't supposed to know she knew. He couldn't reproach her for the risks she was taking. Otherwise she would understand he was hiding something from her.

"They wanted to spend the evening alone together," Katarina replied. "They had to celebrate something."

Celebrate something? What? The fact that the Dark Lord wanted to kill them and their urchin? Or... Was Evans pregnant again? Merlin, they were really stupid!

"Today is a very important day for them," Katarina continued. "Three years ago, James proposed to Lily. Tonight, they'll have a romantic dinner, and babies are not allowed. Being parents is exhausting. Lily and James need to have time together, just for a few hours."

Severus remembered Dumbledore had mentioned the same thing. But Severus wasn't interested in the Potters' privacy problems. The Headmaster had surely planned everything. If Severus had known, he would have made sure that Katarina was not involved in that project. He would have asked Dumbledore to leave the Potters' brat to their dear friends Black, Lupin, or Pettigrew. But certainly not to Katarina.

Severus snorted. "And they couldn't find a kennel to put their kid for the evening?" he asked ironically.

"Severus!" Katarina snapped.

She put the baby back in his cradle. Then she looked at Severus disapprovingly.

"I know you hate Lily and James," she said, "but Harry is just an innocent baby. He's never done anything to you! Are children supposed to be responsible for their parents' mistakes?"

Severus didn't reply. Not because he thought of that annoying baby and his awful parents. But because he thought of what his own father had done to Katarina's mother.

"Please Honey, be kind," Katarina continued. She moved closer and planted a peck on his cheek. "If we have children one day, I wouldn't like them to pay for our mistakes."

Their mistakes. His mistakes. Severus could hardly imagine what it would be for their children. But he could picture it in his mind: 'What are your parents doing?' asked the voice of an unknown person. 'Mummy is an Auror,' the voice of a child replied, 'and Daddy is a Death Eater. I never see him because he's imprisoned in Azkaban. Mummy said he had to pay, because his father killed her mother. She doesn't want to see him anymore.'

Severus gulped. "I want them to be happy," he said.

"What?" Katarina asked. She looked surprised.

"Our future children," Severus replied. "I want them to be happy. I want them to have the childhood I didn't have. To have your childhood."

"So you've decided you wanted to have children?" Katarina asked with a smile.

"Yes," Severus responded. "One day. With you. I just hope they won't have my nose."

Katarina rolled her eyes. "If that's really what you want," she replied, "I'll do my best to give them mine. But I want them to have your eyes."

"Certainly not," Severus retorted. "I want them to have your eyes too. To look like you. Just like you."

"And I don't want it," Katarina replied. She kissed him. "They must look like you too. But they'd better not have your temper. Or be as clumsy as I am."

Severus smiled slightly. Yes, Katarina was very clumsy. She was surely the clumsiest girl in the entire world. And Severus had a bad temper. His name fitted him well, since he was sometimes very harsh. He would have probably become much more cynical, if he hadn't met Katarina.

"Maybe we could try to give them the best part of us," Severus replied. "But I fear they will be very awful Quidditch players."

"No one cares about Quidditch," Katarina claimed. "It's old-fashioned! And anyone who wastes his time searching for a tiny Golden Snitch is obviously mental. Since our children will be geniuses, they won't be interested in that game! Enjoying the delicate fumes of Potions, the aromas coming from a cauldron... that is really exciting, sexy, and cool."

"Are you trying to seduce me, silly temptress?" Severus asked, amused.

"No," Katarina replied teasingly. She pouted. Severus leant to kiss her, but the Potters' urchin cried at the same time. Katarina turned her head. Severus missed his aim. He tried to grip Katarina's waist to finish what he had started. But Katarina hurled herself on the cradle before he could do anything. Severus stared at the cradle crossly.

Katarina took the baby in her arms again. She rocked him and murmured soothing words. Soon, Potter's kid stopped crying.

"Cute little Harry," Katarina said with a strange, childish voice. "You were very upset? Aunt Katarina will take care of you my Love."

'Aunt Katarina? My Love?' Severus frowned. Katarina was not the Potter boy's aunt. Severus didn't want to be considered the uncle of that annoying, little baboon. He felt infuriated. Severus was the only one Katarina had ever called 'my Love.' And he didn't want that awful freak to steal that privilege from him! That was out of question!

"What's happening to you?" he hissed. "Are you regressing to childhood?"

"Oh, Severus," Katarina sighed. She rolled her eyes again. "Don't tell me you're jealous of a baby."

Severus snorted. "I'm not jealous of that... thing," he whispered under his breath.

"Oh my God!" Katarina exclaimed half ironically, half seriously. "I'll be a single mother! You won't be able to bear our children!"

"I will be," Severus replied. "Just our children. Not Potter's."

"Angry because I called Harry 'my Love,' Darling?" Katarina asked.

Severus didn't reply. He sulked.

"Jesus," Katarina added. "Please don't transmit your jealousy to our future children. Or I guess there will be bad blood at home." Katarina put Potter junior back in the cradle.

Severus stepped forward and grabbed Katarina's waist again.

"What would you want to have?" he asked. "A boy or a girl?"

"I don't know," Katarina replied. "Maybe a girl. A little fiancée for Harry."

Severus scowled. His daughter would certainly not marry a Potter!

Katarina burst into laughter. "I was just kidding," she said. You should have seen your face when I mentioned Harry!

Severus' anger faded. "I'd like to have a girl," he said. "And a boy... maybe."

A boy... Severus was not sure he wanted the line of the Snapes to continue. A girl would change her name... She would marry one day... except if she looked like him.

"Severus?" Katarina asked. She stared at him questioningly.

"You're beautiful," he said. No, his future daughter wouldn't be ugly with Katarina as a mother. It was impossible.

Katarina smiled and caressed his cheek. "Severina," she said.

"What?" Severus asked.

"Our future girl," Katarina replied. "I'd like to call her 'Severina.' Half your name, half mine."

"Severina?" Severus repeated. It sounded good. "I love this name."

"And Sebastian if it's a boy," Katarina continued.

"Sebastian?" Severus asked. "My middle name?"

"Yes," Katarina replied. "It's a great name, Mr. Snape."

"All right," Severus responded. "It will be Severina or Sebastian."

"Why 'or?'" Katarina replied, amusement in her voice. "It will be 'and.' It's too early now, but one day..."

"Yes," Severus replied. "One day." One day, when the war would be over.

***

The Potions master had a lump in his throat. A part of him had believed that it would happen. Long years had passed since. He had often thought of this life he had missed, a life with a loving wife and children. Now that he was older and alone, he knew he would have liked to have a family. If he had married Katarina, how old would their children be now? Would he have been a good father? It was probably too late now.

***

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