- Rating:
- R
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Characters:
- Draco Malfoy Harry Potter
- Genres:
- Humor Parody
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- Stats:
-
Published: 06/13/2004Updated: 06/13/2004Words: 659Chapters: 1Hits: 739
The VamPotter Chronicles
Arrmaitee
- Story Summary:
- SLASH! PARODY! Vampire!Draco is on the prowl. But will his whooping cough prevent him from seducing The Boy Who Lived?
Chapter 01
- Posted:
- 06/13/2004
- Hits:
- 739
Chapter 1: Bloody Harry
Draco stirred in his coffin in the Slytherin dungeon. From the eerie pall cast
by the moonlight and the grating howl of Lupin prowling without his werewolf
meds, Draco realized that it was now ten 'til midnight. And he knew that it was
time for him to feed.
Draco hadn't always been a vampire. He used to be a stuck-up, closet case who
spent his first six years at Hogwarts hoping to have Potter pop his precious.
One night, Draco climbed up naked to the top of the Astronomy Tower hoping to
reenact From Here To Eternity with his "one true pairing," but Potter
was nowhere to be found. Instead, it was a vampire that answered his mating
call. Twenty minutes later, Draco awoke in the infirmary with a splitting
headache and one hell of a hickey.
That was three weeks ago. And for three weeks, Draco hadn't fed. But now he was determined to drain Potter and
make him his bitch. There was only one problem. Draco had recently caught a bad
case of the whooping cough, and he wasn't sure whether his hacking would work
in derogation of his animal magnetism.
Draco arose from his coffin and gasped. Pansy Parkinson was lying naked on a
full length silver platter holding a solitary, long-stem, red rose and arching
her neckline. Draco was nauseated at the sight. Pansy knew this was an OOC
slash fanfic. What the fuck was she thinking!
Draco stepped over his virgin offering and walked into the lavatory to get
ready for his first... bite. He was paler that usual... but hopefully Potter was
into the porcelain look. Draco fixed his hair, put on his finest silk cape and
headed for the stairs. Potter better have received his note.
It was a long hike up the Astronomy Tower, and by the time Draco arrived he was
STARVING!!!!! Draco paused at the top of the stairs. Potter was there... waiting
for him. They would finally be together.
"What d'you want to talk to me about, Malfoy?" Harry sneered. Draco quickly
minimized the distance between them, and whispered into Potter's ear.
"I vant... to suck... your... [COUGH][HACK]!"
"What?" Harry leapt back, looking slightly nauseated. "Are you alright?"
Damn whooping cough. Draco held his breath and seductively approached his prey.
"Potteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer, look into my eyes. I vant... to suck... your
[CHOKE][HICCUP]!"
Harry jumped back again, seeming concerned. "But I thought we were arch
enemies. I realize that this is an OOC slash fanfic, but my dogmatic sense of
self refuses to cave to the deranged fantasies of a twisted author who should
be doing his homework instead of writing this trash!"
The little bitch was playing hard to get. Draco would have to take another
tactic.
"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!" Draco begged, falling on his knees and soiling his
freshly pressed cape. "LET ME SUCK YOUR [GASP][HACK][COUGH]!"
"Umm... are you sure you're not contagious?" Harry asked nervously. Draco
suppressed a cough and shook his head.
"Well, if you insist," Harry replied, unbuttoning his jeans and exposing his
thirteen inch schlong [alright, it was really six and a half inches, but Draco
was so famished he was seeing double].
"I insist," Draco replied, grasping Potter's beefcake and looking for a nice
juicy vein.
"But you have to swallow," Harry insisted with a devilish smirk.
"Don't worry, Potter. I will definitely swallow..."
Draco found a juicy vein in Potter's dong. The vein was kinda small,
but it would have to do. Draco opened his mouth, exposed his pearly white
fangs, and sank them into Potter's ripe banana.
"OH MY GOD!!!!" Harry screamed. "DON'T USE YOUR TEETH!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
-----------------
After six hours, five pints of blood, and two love bites in Potter's shaft,
Draco awoke to find a very pale Potter lying naked next to him in his coffin in
the Slytherin dungeon. Draco snuggled up to his newly mangled boyfriend, and
whispered:
"So how was it for you?"
Finis
Author notes: Hi all. I hope you enjoyed this ficlet. I had a blast writing it.
PLEASE REVIEW!