Prelude to Destiny

Chapter 23

Try Again

Returning to the reception was a disaster. Honestly.

Her sister, then her parents, and then all of them together accosted Lily upon her arrival. Her grandmother only made things worse by winking at her as her grandfather tried to calm Faith down. Lily had tried to explain, but how could she convey to her parents how important this was to her?

Lily said nothing as she sat at a table with her parents as the reception came to a close and Petunia and Vernon said goodbye to guests.

"I cannot believe you ran off without telling any of us where you were," Faith said angrily, again. "How did you think we wouldn't notice?"

"It is a rather large reception," Lily said, trying to make the situation less awkward with humour. Apparently the exact wrong thing to do.

"You better watch your tone, Lily Marie Evans," Mark Evans said. "This is no time to try our patience."

"This is your sister's wedding reception, Lily. Couldn't you have at least tried to respect that?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Petunia was worried sick," Mrs. Evans said.

"I didn't mean for that to happen," Lily said. "I only meant to--"

"Lily!" interrupted Mrs. Evans. "Petunia was asking everyone if they'd seen you. We were talking about calling the police."

"Couldn't you have been happy for your sister and put your own feelings aside?"

"I was happy for Petunia. I am happy for her," Lily said. "I helped out as much as I could with this wedding, but when my friend said he needed me, I was there for him."

"Is that how I raised you to be?" Mr. Evans asked. "To put friends before family?"

"I know you spent a lot of time with your boyfriend last summer instead of us, but I didn't think you'd ever go so far as to skip your own sister's reception for some boy--"

"Sirius isn't some boy," Lily said, trying desperately to explain, to make her parents understand. "He's one of my best friends and he was really hurt about his arranged marriage being called off this morning and--"

"People don't have arranged marriages anymore, Lily," Mrs. Evans all but snapped. "You need not make up ridiculous excuses--"

"The old magical families all arrange marriages," Lily said, hurt that her mother couldn't understand this part of her life.

"So you went to his fiancé's house?" Mrs. Evans asked, obviously not believing her. Lily nodded anyway. "Where was this house then?"

"It's--well, I don't know exactly. We portkeyed over there," Lily said, frustrated. How hard did it have to be to explain all of these magical facts to her parents, to explain arranged marriages and portkeys?

"If you wanted to spend time with Sirius you could have stayed here or told us where you were going or--"

"I don't like Sirius!" Lily exclaimed. "I like James!"

"So you went to see this James?" Mr. Evans asked.

"No," Lily said, exasperated. "Well, he was there but I didn't go for James--"

"You selfish, ungrateful freak!" Petunia hissed at Lily as she walked up. All of the non-family guests had left. "You ruined my reception."

"Petunia, I'm sorry," Lily began. "I needed--"

"I turned off the music and asked if anyone had seen you. I was about to call the police when you arrived back, waltzing in like nothing was wrong," Petunia said, walking toward Lily in a definitely threatening manner. Vernon, Lily noticed, didn't say a word.

"Nothing was wrong," Lily said, exasperated, frustrated, near tears with lack of sleep, and desperate to make her family understand. "I'm seventeen years old--"

"And so it's okay for you to run out on my wedding?" Petunia asked.

"I didn't run out on your wedding," Lily said, trying to make herself feel less horrible about having run out on her sister's wedding. Why hadn't she just told them where she was going?

"You're still in school, Lily. You're a child. If you were normal, you'd still be in school for years at the uni. You aren't an adult. You can't just up and leave--"

"I'm considered an adult in my world!" Lily snapped, though she instantly regretted saying anything at the look on her mother's face.

"An adult who forgot that she was supposed to give a speech at my reception?" Petunia asked. Lily's heart froze. She had forgotten. Oh frick. How could she have forgotten? How could she have hurt her sister that much?

"Oh, Petunia, I'm so-- I am so sorry. I-- I can't believe I-- I'm so sorry--"

"Sorry fixes nothing. It doesn't matter. You don't matter," Petunia said, turning her back on her sister and marching up to Vernon. "I'm leaving on my honeymoon."

Petunia left shortly after that, angry and unresponsive. Vernon followed in her wake. Lily stared after them, wishing she could somehow bridge the gulf between her and her sister.

~*~*~

After a tense car ride home and a strict talking to by her parents, Lily was sent to her room, sent to think about what she did, think about how much she hurt Petunia. It wasn't that hard to think about those things. In fact, Lily couldn't stop thinking about what she'd done and how horribly she felt about it.

And so, after hours of aggravating non-sleep, obsessing over the fact that she had been an inconsiderate, bratty, selfish idiot, Lily padded down to breakfast with dark circles under her eyes and a very guilty conscience. No one was awake yet and so Lily mechanically made herself some toast and tea, and sat at the kitchen table, wanting to be hungry.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made her turn to see her father in his robe, looking tired. Lily looked down at the table.

"Good morning, Lily," he said, walking past her to the fridge.

"Morning," Lily said. Her father nodded at her, poured himself some tea, and sat across the table from her. They sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"Dad," Lily finally began, looking up at him. "I feel horrible about what I did yesterday."

"You need to tell Petunia that," he said.

"Dad," Lily said, surprised to find tears in her own eyes. She was tired and upset and feeling so very, very guilty. "I just don't know how to make this work anymore."

"How to make what work?" Mark Evans asked.

"These two lives I lead," Lily said, placing both hands around her mug and desperately needing the comforting warmth it exuded. "I don't know how to reconcile my life with my family and with the world my friends live in."

"I know it's difficult, but--"

"No, Dad, it's not just difficult," Lily said. "It's impossible."

"Nothing's impossible. I would have thought you'd know that by now, especially with the magic you're learning," he said.

"But that's just it," Lily said, frustrated beyond belief by her father's opinion about magic. "There are impossible things. It's impossible to counter the Killing Curse or reverse the affects of prolonged Unforgivable exposure. Magic doesn't fix everything. It doesn't make people immortal or take away pain. It doesn't eliminate poverty or hunger. It just--It just makes some normal things easier."

"Where is all this coming from?"

Lily looked at her father--the man she'd trusted to always protect her, the one whose strong arms had carried her over a number of puddles, the one who insisted that he could always look out for his baby girl--and she found herself wanting to forget this whole conversation, to protect him from the truth about Voldemort and his Death Eaters, to let him continue to believe that magic was a save-all.

Telling Mark Evans the truth, Lily had decided years ago, would only worry and hurt him. For him to know how badly injured she had been during the Ball, to know that Lily faced prejudice for her Muggle-born statue would be unfair. These were problems her father could not fix, problems she would have to face without him.

"What's wrong?" her father asked, putting down his tea and staring intently at his daughter.

"Nothing," Lily said.

"Lily," her father began, but he said nothing more. There was a wall between them now and they both knew it. It was the wall that Lily had felt growing throughout the course of the year was complete.

Lily looked at her father and decided that that was crap.

"Dad, I was really hurt at the Ball," Lily said, trying to chip away at that imaginary wall. Mark Evans looked at his daughter and nodded for her continue.

So she told him everything. She told him about Polyjuice potions and patrols and Head Girl appointments. She told him about Sirius Black his friendship that saved her this year. She talked about Gertrude and the strange the challenge she had laid before Lily, asking her to prove that fighting against Voldemort was not a stupid decision. She told her dad about the Prewetts and Christian and the inquisition and the Wizard's Debt she would not accept.

"And I'm scared, Dad," she finished, looking up at her father, "to face this world alone."

"Lily," he said, putting an arm on her shoulders and pulling her against him in a hug, "you're not alone. I don't know much about magic or that world, but you have never been alone. Your family is always there for you. We always will be."

"I just didn't want you and Mum to be scared," Lily murmured.

"We're the parents. Our job is to worry. You don't have to protect us," he said.

"It's not going to become any better," Lily said, looking up at her dad. "It'll get worse before the end."

"Most things do," Mark said, "but we must always hope for an ending. A good ending."

"I know," Lily said, moving away from her father to be able to look at him more easily. "I remember you telling me that when we had to stop a bedtime story in the middle. That we must always hope for the ending we want."

"It's still true," he said.

"I told Sam that," Lily said, looking down at her now-cold tea, "but she didn't understand."

"Not all people will," he said. "Actually, most people won't, don't, or can't. But you've always been different, Lily. You've always known the difference between right and wrong and fought for right. This Gertrude girl seems to have seen that in you as well."

"She was the one whose house I went to with Sirius."

"His ex-fiancé?"

"His ex-betrothed, at least," Lily said, thinking it sounded weird to talk about her friends like that.

Lily's father looked at her for a long time. "When we were first thinking about sending you to Hogwarts, I didn't want to."

"You didn't?"

"No," he said. "I didn't know what sort of school it was. I didn't know the people who went there. I didn't know what they would be teaching. How could I protect you when I wouldn't even be able to see your school? But your mother convinced me that it was the right thing to do."

"How?"

"She asked me if I thought you would need any more protection," he said. "And I laughed in response because even then you were stubborn and even then you were telling bullies off for acting stupidly. And I knew she was right, at some level, but I knew the moment I saw you off that first year that I would no longer be able to protect you the same way as I had before then, but you've always been stronger than you thought you were, Lily."

"I'm not very strong at all," Lily said.

"You're strong enough to convince this Gertrude that she should fight for good, strong enough to lead your school and help your friend through a very difficult day in his life," Mr. Evans pointed out. "And though you are never expected to fight these battles alone, I know that you could. I know that you'll handle everything that comes your way. I'm really proud of the person you've become."

"Thanks, Dad," Lily whispered.

"However, I do expect you to keep us better informed from now on," he said, taking her hand. "You can tell your mother and me everything, you know. You don't have to keep it to yourself. None of it. Whether or not you think it'll scare us doesn't matter."

Lily blinked back tears and nodded.

"No, Lily, I need you to promise me you won't keep this all to yourself," he said. "You can't take so much onto yourself. You can't. Not while you can share it. Together we stand, separate--"

"We fall," Lily finished one of her father's favourite sayings. "I promise. I'll tell you more."

"Good," he said.

Lily took a breath, looked down at her half-eaten toast and nearly finished tea, and breathed out, relaxing enough to shed a few tears. She already felt better, just having her father know that her ribs still hurt, know that a curse still burned in her bones which she could not expel.

~*~*~

Lily talked to her mother later that night and, much like Mark Evans, Faith made Lily promise to keep them better informed. Lily had agreed and her parents had been much more understanding about why she had left Petunia's reception. Her sister, after returning from her honeymoon, was no more understanding. And she was angry that her parents seemed to have changed their position.

But there was little Lily could do about that, and so Lily spent her last few weeks at home with her parents, doing whatever they wanted. It was really relaxing, calming.

But now Lily Evans lay in the prefect compartment on September first thinking about the possible reasons why Hogwarts could have decided to have a red train when the door to the compartment opened.

"Hey, Lily," Sirius said, walking into the prefect compartment.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, standing up and walking over to give him a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." Sirius smiled. She hadn't seen him since the wedding, though they had written many letters, including a long apology from him for leaving her stranded at Gertrude's.

"Were you really looking for me?" she asked, sitting down. Lily had written him back to tell him she understood, that he didn't need to explain why he'd left her there alone. He'd sent her a box of chocolate frogs that croaked, 'I'm sorry' whenever she touched them. Needless to say, she didn't eat a single one.

"Well, actually," Sirius said, sitting opposite her, "I'm looking for James and I assumed he'd probably be near you."

"Why?"

"Do you really need me to answer that?" Sirius asked, giving her an incredulous look. "Where else would he be but beside you?"

"I meant," Lily said, trying to ignore his implications, "why don't you know where he is? Shouldn't you have arrived with him?"

"Oh, no." Sirius looked out the window.

"Don't you live with him?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Sirius said, looking back at her, "but I've spent the past week with my cousin. Her husband brought me here."

"Your cousin?" Lily repeated. "Why would you willingly spend any time with that woman?"

Sirius looked upset. "What are you talking about?"

Lily, seeing the look on his face, realized she must have made a mistake and said, "I didn't mean to offend you. I don't know her or anything. She just didn't seem too nice at Gertrude's."

Realization dawned on Sirius's face. "Oh, no. Not Bellatrix. She's a nightmare. I was with my cousin Andromeda. She had her second baby a few weeks ago and I went to stay with her family."

"That's adorable."

"The kid's pretty boring. Mostly just sleeps, legs curled up. The four year old followed me around all the time," Sirius said, smiling fondly despite himself. Lily had the feeling that he really adored his second cousins. Or was it first cousins once removed?

"So your cousin brought you today?" Lily asked.

"Her husband Ted brought me, actually," Sirius said, smiling devilishly. "Wish Mother could have seen that."

"Why?"

"Ted's a Muggle-born," Sirius said. "Mother would have died on the spot."

"Way to make your Muggle-born friend feel special," Lily said.

"But you are special if you have the ability to make my mother keel over," Sirius said.

Lily looked at him. "Don't say that."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because you don't mean it. No one wants his own mother dead, no matter how horrible she is," Lily replied, grabbing her satchel and pulling it onto her lap.

"You really believe that, don't you?" Sirius asked, watching her intently. She nodded.

"It's true," Lily said.

"I suppose it might be," said Sirius, looking briefly back out the window and then shaking his head and beginning to smile as he turned and winked at Lily. "Want me to find James for you?"

"What makes you think I haven't already seen him?" Lily asked, smiling.

"The state of your clothes," Sirius said.

"Are you suggesting that they would be a bit rumpled if I had run into our esteemed Head Boy?" Lily asked innocently.

"I'm telling you that your clothes would be in shreds," Sirius replied, a knowing smirk on his face. Lily's smile grew even as she blushed. "I suppose I'll wait here, then, until he arrives and kicks me out."

"Why would he kick you out?" Lily asked.

"I can think of a reason of two," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows up and down. Lily laughed, shaking her head at him.

"Why weren't we friends since first year, Sirius?" Lily wanted to know. It felt so natural, talking to Sirius, laughing and joking with him. It was hard to imagine that they hadn't been friends forever.

"Probably because you were intimidated by me and couldn't bring yourself to talk to the Sirius Black," Sirius said, shrugging.

"Right, I'd forgotten," Lily said. "The Sirius Black, the one who destroyed the Herbology professor's plant with no qualms. Selfish bloke, that one."

"The green plant! I'd forgotten all about that," Sirius said, smiling. Lily leaned over and flicked him.

"Show a little remorse, even if it's fake. Sprout spent seven years of her life growing that thing," Lily said.

"Oh, I felt badly about that. Believe me. That's why James and I volunteered in the Green Houses for a month," Sirius said.

"And I'm sure," Lily said sarcastically, "that neither one of you had any ulterior motives for volunteering."

"Well, we did want to make miniature replicas of that plant that could change the color of an entire room like that," Sirius said, lost in memory. "It would have been so useful, but then Filch confiscated the prototype we'd spent forever making and we lost our enthusiasm."

"Pity, that," Lily said.

"I'm sensing some sarcasm in your comment," Sirius noted.

"Seeing as I have been on the receiving end of a number of your inventions, I have to admit that I have no problem with one or two being lost."

"James did go about this whole thing poorly, didn't he?" Sirius asked, leaning back and closing his arms over his chest.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, putting her satchel on the bench beside her.

"Only that James has liked you since he was fifteen and that he did everything possible to make you notice him. It wasn't until this year that we realized your attention wasn't what he needed. He needed to change your opinion of him," Sirius said.

"That was an astute observation."

"It was Gertrude's observation, not mine," Sirius admitted. "The night of the dinner she said you only needed a little prodding."

"Your terminology's doing nothing for my ego."

"Pity, that," Sirius intoned. Lily lay down on the bench, resting her head on her bag.

"You've talked to James since we went to Gertrude's, right?" Lily asked, looking up at the ceiling.

"Do hippos secretly want to dance with sugar plum fairies?" Sirius asked.

"I've never understood why you insisted on answering questions like that."

"I only answer really stupid, obvious questions like that," Sirius said. "And obviously I've talk to James."

"Since Gertrude's?"

"Yes."

"Oh," Lily said, trying to figure out a way to ask him about James without seeming desperate. Sirius started laughing and Lily lifted her head enough to turn and glare at him.

"Just ask me what you want to know," Sirius said.

"Fine," Lily said, putting her head back down on her hands and staring up at the ceiling. "Did he say anything about me?"

"Do hippos secretly want to dance with sugar plum fairies?"

"That's not becoming any less annoying," Lily commented.

"I know, but honestly, 'Has James said anything about me?' What sort of stupid question is that? James has talked about you for years. You think that'd stop now?"

"I could be highly freaked out by that information, you know," Lily said, smiling despite her best efforts. James talked about her. He had liked her for years.

"No, you couldn't be," Sirius said, "because I know a secret. James told me it."

"Really? What's that?" Lily asked, trying not to sound too interested.

"He said you don't really believe he's liked you all this time."

"That's not true," Lily said, sort of offended. But then she started to think about it, started wondering if she would ever really believe that James liked her. "Well, okay, it's sort of true."

"You're not honestly wondering if he likes you now, are you?" Sirius asked, incredulous.

"Well, I gave him the holiday so he could change his mind," Lily said, a stab of fear and potential hurt coursing through her. Sirius didn't exactly help the situation by laughing.

"Don't laugh," Lily said.

"But it's so funny," Sirius said. "You're just like him, you know."

"Thanks."

"You two are going to be so busy," Sirius said.

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to have to spend half the time you're together convincing the other one that you still want to be with them," Sirius explained. "It'll be highly amusing for me, I assure you."

"As long as you're amused, it's all worth it."

"Glad to know I'm such a high priority in your life," Sirius said. Lily wasn't looking at him, but she could see that he was still sitting on the bench across from her with his shoulders back. He didn't even know that it was his childhood etiquette lessons that kept him from wanting to lie down on the bench. Lily thought the irony was ridiculous.

"Everything all right with your sister, by the way?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," Lily said, not minding the subject change. To tell the truth, the quick pace of her conversations with Sirius was something she loved about their friendship. It was never dull talking to Sirius Black.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Lily said, her good humour diminishing a little. "Petunia and I'll work this out."

"I didn't mean to make you miss giving your speech at the reception."

"I know," Lily said, "and it's my fault, not yours. I should have remembered. I should've told her where I was going. That's what my parents were most upset about. They were worried that I'd been kidnapped or hurt or something."

"And your sister's just angry because--"

"Because she thinks I tried to sabotage her wedding." Lily sighed. This was not something she wanted to talk about. At all.

"That's my fault," Sirius said.

"That's not your fault, Sirius," Lily said. "It's mine and I have to fix it. Not you. Petunia and I will figure this out. In fact, she's spoke to our mum about me a couple of times, though Mum was just as mad as Petunia for a while. Especially after I accidentally mentioned James's name in conjuncture with where I'd gone off to."

"You mentioned James?" Sirius asked. "Why?"

"Because I'm an idiot. Now my sister's calling both of us names, calling him a hooligan out to ruin perfectly normal people's weddings."

"So she knows him well then," Sirius said.

"She's said some of the nastiest things--" Lily couldn't even talk about it. "And right now, I'm not even so sure I'd want to speak with her, you know?"

"Yes," Sirius said. Then, after a moment of thought, he said, "Actually, no, I don't understand. I hate my family, but I still stay in touch with the better branches--"

"She called me a freak, said I was jealous of her normality, told me I was nothing like her, said I have to stay away from her," Lily said, hurt though she tried to hide it.

Sirius looked at her and said, "And my brother told me that knowing I was alive made him feel dirty by association. Everyone says stupid thing sometimes, but Petunia's still family. That matters. You'll both work this out."

Across the compartment, sitting by the door, Sirius looked almost vulnerable right then. He wanted affirmation, it seemed, that not all families had to be torn apart beyond repair.

"She said she feels like she hates me," Lily said.

"Feels like, not does," Sirius said. "My father told me he wanted to kill me. If he'd said he felt like he wanted to kill me, I'd say that was a noticeable improvement."

"Sirius," Lily said, sitting up, "did your family really say those things to you? Your brother and your father?"

"Yes," Sirius said, shrugging.

"That's not normal."

"It is in my home," Sirius said. Lily looked at him, wanting to give him a hug, wanting to reach out and somehow let him know that she thought he was amazing for putting up with that without complaint, for becoming the person he was (angry and distant as he could be) despite the pressure.

"Sirius--"

"Don't," Sirius said, standing. "It's fine. Just know, Lily, that I don't actually want my mother dead. I don't want any of them dead. I feel like I hate some of them right now, but they're still family. That matters, you know?"

Actually, Lily knew exactly what Sirius meant by that. She thought of her father at that breakfast table and her mother repacking all of her trunk, again. She thought of Petunia right before she walked down the aisle at her wedding, and Lily knew exactly what he meant. Family mattered.

"I'll see you at the feast, then," Sirius said, walking to the door and stepping out just as the first batch of fifth year prefects eagerly entered.

"I'll see you then," Lily said, waving to Sirius. Then she turned her attention to the newbies and smiled. "Hello, I'm the Head Girl, Lily Evans."

Introductions went quickly and Lily soon found herself in a compartment full of prefects clumped in groups by house and further segregated by year. The Gryffindors sat on Lily's bench, the one opposite the door. The Hufflepuffs took up the benches lining the wall on the right, the Slytherins on the left, and the Ravenclaws near the door.

Lily stepped up onto the bench and clapped her hands once loudly. Everyone stopped talking and looked at her. She smiled a self-deprecating smile and waved at the group.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Lily Evans, the Head Girl," she introduced herself. People looked back at her uncertainly.

"And I'm James Potter, the Head Boy," James said, closing the compartment door, which he had opened during Lily's clapping and introduction. She smiled at him as her heart started beating about ten times faster than normal. He looked really, really good.

"I was about to give up on you," Lily said to him across the compartment. He smiled and shook his head, walking over.

"I'd never let you do something that foolish," he said. "After all, I'm Head Boy. Meetings can't start without me."

"True," Lily said, "what would we have done without the one seventh year that has never attended a prefect meeting before, let alone run one?"

"You probably would have blown up the train or something equally foolish," James said, and Lily just wanted to hug him, which she did quickly after he'd stepped up onto the bench beside her.

"We're going to start the meeting soon, but first we're going to rearranging the seating a little," Lily said, smiling. It felt so good to be standing beside James in front of this group. "I want you all to line up on the benches in alphabetical order by first name. That means the people whose names start with A will sit on my left and Zackary with probably be seated on my right and the rest of you will be alphabetical in between them."

"Any questions?" James asked. There were a few. There always were in groups like this, but soon enough the prefects were lined up appropriately. Just to check, Lily and James had them each say their first name aloud. The train had already started to move.

"So," James said, "who thinks they can name every person in this compartment?"

Lily looked around the circle. No one raised their hands. Everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable.

"I can't name everyone," Lily admitted, shrugging. The older students laughed a little.

"Neither can I," James agreed. Everyone was looking around the circle, trying to mentally go through the list before they began.

"I can," Gertrude Wrightman said. Lily looked over at her, smiling. Out of anyone, Lily had expected Gertrude to be the one who could do it.

"Show us how it's done, Gertrude," James said, nodding at her. He and Lily had stepped off the bench and were now a part of the sitting circle. Gertrude did manage to go all the way around.

"Good job," James said.

"By the end of this train ride, James and I want you to know everyone's name like Gertrude does," Lily said. "We want you to be able to identify your fellow prefects whether or not they are wearing their badges.

"These are the people you'll be working with all year. We'll be having biweekly meetings together and you'll be expected to trust one another more than normal students. They are your peers and your equals. We want you to feel comfortable asking them, and James and me, anything."

"Anyone else think they can name everyone in here?" James asked, looking around.

~*~*~

After the train stopped and nearly all of the prefects had filed out of the compartment, Gertrude came up to Lily. It was just Lily and Gertrude at that point, James had stepped out at the beginning to help direct the first years. Lily smiled and gave her friend a hug. Gertrude sort of awkwardly hugged her back.

"How was your break?" Lily asked.

"Fine, thank you," Gertrude said. "Congratulations on your position."

"Thanks," Lily said, relieved to find Gertrude still talking to her. They hadn't written each other at all over the holiday. "I'm sorry it wasn't you."

"I'm not," Gertrude said. "You brought them all together today, Lily."

"I don't know about that," Lily said, shrugging.

"You'll makes us stronger."

"Us? Who's us?"

"The winning side," Gertrude said, nodding at Lily. "You'll bring this school together."

"Well, I do have a lot of spell-o-tape," Lily joked.

"It will be an interesting year," Gertrude said, walking toward the door. Lily walked beside her.

"You're telling me," Lily said. "James and I already have plans for the prefects to play musical chairs throughout meetings."

Gertrude turned to look at Lily as she opened the door to reveal James standing on the other side, at the end of a mass of people wedging through one small door.

"For my sanity, I'll assume you're joking," Gertrude said.

"Assume all you want," Lily said, "but if you want a seat, you better brush up on your scrambling skills."

Gertrude gave Lily a disbelieving look before taking three steps forward and being absorbed into the crowd of students, leaving Lily and James alone, but in plain view of many students.

"So," Lily said, trying to bridge the gulf without being awkward, "how were your holidays?"

"Horrendous," James whispered into her ear, making her smile at his proximity. "Worst couple of months of my life."

"Were you attacked by gnomes?" Lily asked innocently.

"No, but seeing you at Gertrude's and not being able to kiss you made me want to hex off my own arm," James replied as they stepped off the train. Lily blushed and couldn't keep the stupid smile on her face from growing as the beating of her heart sped up.

"Oh," was all Lily managed to say.

"Yes, 'oh,'" James said. Lily and James took a moment to squeeze through the door and then direct some lost first years over to Hagrid.

"Still stubborn then?" Lily asked him as they walked over to the horseless carriages.

"Are you joking?" James replied incredulously as they piled into a carriage along side two sixth year Hufflepuffs. "I've been stubborn for two years now. Three months wasn't about to make a difference."

"You should have told me that at the beginning of the summer."

"I thought I did," James said.

"No, I think I would have remembered something like that," Lily said.

"Are you telling me we could have forgone this whole summer apart thing?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Lily smiled.

"No," Lily said. "I needed those three months."

"Why?"

"To realize that you're Remus," Lily said. The two sixth years looked confused.

"Let's never have you call me that again," James said, smiling too.

"Okay, sweetums," Lily said, shifting to look out at the landscape innocently.

"We really need new codenames, poppet," James said.

"I like the ones we have," Lily replied. James looked at her, still smiling.

"I thought she was dating Sirius Black," whispered one of the sixth years, not seeming to realize that James and Lily could hear everything they were saying.

"Did they break up?" the other one asked.

"Did she cheat on him with James Potter?"

"Maybe that's why he's not with Sirius right now. Maybe they hate each other now."

"That's so romantic."

"And James and Lily are so cute together," said the last of the sixth years.

James looked at Lily and almost started laughing. Instead, he whispered, "You ready for your last year?"

Lily took a deep breath, looked at him, and nodded. "You know, I think I am."

~*~*~

"Lily!" Christine called out, waving to Lily over the heads of the other students as they all climbed the stairs to enter the front doors of the castle. Lily manoeuvred through the crowd and embraced her friend.

"Hey Christine," Lily said.

"Still a prefect?" Christine asked, pointing to the badge on Lily's robes.

"Actually, funny story," Lily said, self consciously looking down at her badge. How she wished she could have avoided wearing it. "I'm Head Girl."

"Are you serious?" Christine exclaimed, leaning in to look closer at the badge and looking as if she were examining Lily's breast. How terribly awkward.

"I know," Lily said. "Who'd have imagined me as Head Girl?"

"Matt," Christine said, poking the pin. Lily slapped her hand away.

"What do you mean 'Matt'?"

"He bet me a galleon you'd be Head Girl," Christine explained. "I can't believe you're Head Girl. I was so sure it would be someone else."

"Thanks for the support."

"I can't believe you're Head Girl," Christine repeated.

"Each time you say that, my confidence grows exponentially," Lily muttered, starting to feel really doubtful about her qualifications if her own best friend was so baffled by the idea.

"Head Girl Lily Evans? That's so odd," Christine said.

"You're going to dwell on this for a while aren't you?" Lily wondered.

"I can't believe--"

"I get it," Lily said as the pair walked into the Great Hall. "Want to know something even more odd? James Potter is Head Boy."

"What? Since when?"

"Since Dumbledore obviously hit himself with a Confoundus," James said, walking up to them as they neared the Gryffindor table.

"Honestly!" Christine said, shaking her head. "Lily as Head Girl and James Potter as Head Boy? That's so odd."

"She's really helped assail my fears about my appointment," Lily whispered to James.

"If it makes you feel better, Sirius bet me his soul that I was lying about being Head Boy," James replied.

"What?" Lily asked, incredulous. "What happened? You said, 'I'm Head Boy,' and Sirius's response was, 'I bet you my soul you're lying'?"

"Pretty much."

"We need new friends," Lily concluded, sitting across from Christine at the Gryffindor table.

"No joke," James agreed, surprising Lily by sitting beside her. She looked at him for a moment as he settled.

"Don't you normally sit down there?" Lily asked, pointing to the end of the table.

"I thought I'd try something new," James said. "Unless you want me to move down there."

"No, no, I was only checking," Lily said, shaking her head and smiling. "Will this be a daily thing, this new seating chart?"

"Depends how this test run goes," James said.

"Won't your friends miss you?" Lily asked, motioning to Peter and Sirius who arrived at the usual seats, spotted James down by Lily, and were now gesturing back and forth between the seats.

"They'll sit over here," James said, watching his two friends now begin a game of rock-paper-scissors. "I'm like Moses. Where I go, they follow."

Lily laughed a bit out of shock, turned to him, and said, "I can't believe you just made that comparison." He shrugged and then pointed to Sirius and Peter who were now walking over.

"You hate that I'm always right, don't you?" James asked, smirking.

"It is a little irritating," Lily joked, watching Sirius slide into the seat beside Christine and Peter sit beside him.

"New seating arrangement?" Sirius asked James, who shrugged.

"He's just happy that he can now stalk Lily at close proximity," Peter stage-whispered to Sirius.

"Trust me, she's happy about it too," Sirius teased. Lily really wanted to flick him.

"Hey, secret best friend forever? Shut it," Lily said.

"I'd be nicer to me if I were you, or didn't you notice that we're obviously still dating?" Sirius asked, pointing around the table at the various younger students glancing at them.

"People need to focus on their own lives," Lily said, just loud enough for the closest onlookers to hear. They turned away. Not all the others took the hint.

"Hey Sirius, I heard Lily dumped you over the break for James," Remus said, sitting on the other side of James. It was true, they really did revolve around James, didn't they? Was that what Lily was like? Was that what she'd always been like? How annoying. What made people so devoted to James, anyway?

"Sirius and Lily didn't date," Christine told Remus. He looked at her.

"I know, I was only joking," Remus said.

"But they aren't dating," Christine replied, not accepting that someone would joke about something like that.

"He was just lying, Christine," Lily said, look over at her friend and realizing for the first time how tired she looked.

"I know, but he shouldn't lie about that," Christine said. The first years marched in right then and the Sorting soon began. Lily tuned it out. James and Sirius began talking to Remus and Peter in quieter tones, allowing Lily to lean across the table and whisper back and forth with Christine.

"You all right, Christine?" Lily asked.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"I miss Matt," Christine said half bitterly and half sadly.

"When was the last time you saw him?" Lily asked.

"Tuesday," muttered Christine.

"That was yesterday," Lily remarked.

"I know! I don't know why I miss him this much," Christine said, frustrated.

"Did he take the job at his grandfather's shop?"

"Yes," Christine said, looking sullenly at the new students standing nervously in front of the Sorting Hat. "Eyelop left him the business so Matt's going to manage the stores."

"I thought he left the stores to Mr. McGrath," Lily said, remembering Matt telling her about his grandfather's passing in last July.

"No. They thought he would, but the will said they were Matt's," Christine replied, brightening up the longer she talked about Matt.

"Isn't there an Eyelop's store in Hogsmeade?" Lily asked. Christine nodded. "So he'll be able to visit."

"Only twice a month."

"That's more than never," Lily said.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Christine said.

"All right," Lily said.

"Before we begin the feast, I have a few announcements," Dumbledore said, standing. Lily listened to the long, long list politely, trying to keep from realizing that this would be her last Welcoming Feast. This was the last time Dumbledore would recite facts about Filch's list and tell her to avoid the Forbidden Forrest. It was vaguely disconcerting.

"And finally I would like to introduce our new Head Boy and Girl," Dumbledore said, gesturing toward the Gryffindor table, "Miss Lily Evans and Mr. James Potter."

There was a collective gasp followed by a loud roar of approval from the assembly. Lily stood briefly and saw that James was not standing beside her. She reached over, took his hand, and forced him up as well. The clapping grew.

"Is there a reason you pulled me out of my seat?" James asked, waving at the crowd before Lily and he sat back down.

"They wanted to clap for you," Lily said.

"They were already clapping for you," he pointed out.

"It doesn't matter: if we're doing this," she said, "we're doing this together."

"All right," James said, nodding at her and meeting her gaze in a way that made her want to melt. A lot.

"I can't believe you're Head Girl," Christine said.

"Neither can I," Lily said, turning to her blonde friend, but after a few more bites of food, Lily found herself distracted.

Lily looked around the Great Hall, looked at Sirius Black laughing and pointing with a forkful of apple pie at Remus Lupin who sat shaking his head at Sirius. She looked at Peter Pettigrew clutching his stomach laughing and James smiling beside him, mirth in his eyes as he made an extravagant gesture between Remus and himself. They were talking about a giant squid.

Lily looked over and saw Severus Snape glaring at James with hatred in his eyes, isolated at the Slytherin table. She saw Gertrude Wrightman in the middle of the table, holding court over all the Slytherins, talking to the group of girls surrounding her.

Christine O'Connell sat across from Lily pushing her food around her plate, missing Matt McGrath. Samantha Caldwell was talking to Tracy McGrath over a plate of meat, and Will McGrath and Chad Caldwell were whispering to one another at the end of the table, looking suspiciously like the second-year versions of James and Sirius.

Only too soon, Dumbledore stood and dismissed the assembly, saying, "Now with our full stomachs and dazed minds, I would ask the prefects and Head students to escort the students back to their dormitories."

"I get to lead the children!" James said, rubbing his hands together. The people around him laughed.

"Actually, the Head Students normally stay in the Great Hall until the final students have filtered out and then they bring up the end of the group," Remus informed him. James looked horrified.

"That is not what I signed up for," James muttered, standing with his friends.

"On a positive note, I'll be with you the whole time," Lily said, standing too.

"And what a positive note that is," Sirius said.

"I'd say it's one of the most positive positive notes I've ever heard," Peter agreed.

"Shove it," Lily said lightly, "and start walking, people! Headmaster wants you back in your dorms!"

"Bossy, isn't she?" Remus asked.

"More than you know," Sam said, walking up with Tracy to stand beside Christine. The three girls and three blokes who weren't Head Boy or Girl began walking away, loudly discussing Lily and James.

"They think they're terribly funny," Lily noted.

"Sad, it is, that they're so delusional," James said. They stood there, side by side, watching the various groups of students head toward the doors. There was a sort of order to the mess: prefects went first, raising a hand to get the attention of the first years, then came the older years that knew they ought to go to bed early the first night, and the middle students wandered aimlessly, the second years in particular trying to prove how well they knew the castle. It was normally those second years that ran into problems as they had no way of knowing the password.

"This place drains quickly, doesn't it?" Lily said, watching the students bottleneck at four different doors, the tables now nearly clear.

"Everyone likes sleeping," James said, shrugging.

"Seriously, the speed with which these students leave is impressive," Lily said.

"You've never seen the students file out of here before?"

"No, I've always been leading them to the dorm since I was, you know, a prefect and whatnot," Lily teased. "Why? Did you think I lingered around here to hang around Matt McGrath, the Head Boy love of my life?"

"I don't think that's a funny joke," James said.

"Too bad," Lily said. "I'll be making that joke quite a bit this year."

"Should I bring up Tracy all the time then?"

"If you really want to," Lily said, shrugging and struggling to keep the smile off her face.

"Are you sure about that?" James asked, wrapping his left arm around her middle and pulling her toward him so that her right shoulder overlapped his left. Her heart leapt when she felt his lips against her cheek. The Great Hall was empty.

"You know, those McGraths really hindered our dating," Lily said, trying to keep her voice from shaking, "what with you dating one and my being in love with another."

"Still not a funny joke," James murmured, leaning in to kiss her mouth.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans!"

James and Lily jumped apart at the sound of Professor McGonagall's voice. They spun around and found her standing in the doorway with three small students.

"Yes?" Lily asked, heart beating quickly as she tried to hide her smile at the irony. Of course the first free moment she and James had together McGonagall would show up. Of course.

"Professor McGonagall! How are you?" James asked, smiling. Now Lily smiled too.

"These first years were separated from their fellow students. Could you please escort them to their common rooms?" McGonagall asked, her voice sounding a little strange, almost like she thought something was funny. But that couldn't be right, could it? McGonagall didn't think anything was funny.

"Of course, Professor," James said, taking Lily's hand and pulling her toward the doorway and the three little students.

"Hello, first years," Lily greeted, giving them a genial wave. "What houses are you all in?"

"Hufflepuff," said the girl on the left.

"Slytherin," the second girl answered.

"Gryffindor," the third girl said.

"Aren't you lot an eclectic group?" Lily remarked.

"I trust you to lead them to their houses and then return immediately to your own houses," McGonagall said. Her tone was still strange.

"Thank you, Professor," James said, winking at the first years and telling them in a mock-whisper, "I'm her favourite student, no matter what she says."

"Mr. Potter, I don't have favourites," McGonagall said.

"See? She hides it really well," James said. The first years smiled. Lily did too, thinking of Sirius and how he was her 'secret best friend forever.'

"We'll take them to their houses," Lily said as James asked the students where they were from.

"You know the passwords?" the Transfiguration professor asked.

"Yes, they were chosen on the train," Lily said, "and James and I know the way."

"Thank you, Miss Evans. I have to deal with some students who dumped buckets of water on a group of second years." McGonagall swept away then, leaving James and Lily with three first years in the Great Hall.

"Lily, I'd like you to meet Susan, Kathleen, and Tiffany," James said, pointing to the girls in succession. Lily smiled at them all.

"I'm Lily Evans," she said.

"I thought we could drop off Kathleen, then Tiffany, then Susan," James said as the group headed out of the Great Hall. "That would take us to Gryffindor, then Slytherin, and then Ravenclaw."

Lily smirked at him. "Why don't we go Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, then Slytherin?"

James smirked too. They'd have the most time alone together that way. "That'd work just as well."

"All right, girls, we're taking a secret passage that'll speed us up a bit," Lily announced, sliding a wall aside and showing them a staircase. The girls looked at each other uncertainly before following Lily up the stairs.

"You three look awfully chummy," James said. "Are you related?"

The girls shook their heads.

"Did you know each other coming to Hogwarts?" Lily asked. They nodded.

"We went to primary school together," Kathleen said.

"Are you all Muggle-borns?" Lily asked.

"What's that?" Susan asked. Lily looked at James and he looked back at her, then explained what a Muggle-born was. Susan and Kathleen affirmed that they were indeed Muggle-borns.

"My dad was a wizard," Tiffany said. "Why?"

"No reason," Lily said. "I'm a Muggle-born too."

"You are?"

"Yep. I didn't know a thing about magic when I arrived," Lily said.

"Is it amazing?" asked Susan in an awed voice.

"You'll be doing it tomorrow," Lily said.

"Will everyone know each other except us?"

"No," James said, "and you'll make friends quickly enough. You already have two right here."

"But we're not in the same house," Kathleen said.

"Doesn't matter," Lily said, "one of my best friends is in Slytherin."

"And now that we've said houses don't matter, I have to ask you two to say bye to Kathleen here as we're at her house's secret entrance," James said as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Well, you've ruined the secret part, now haven't you?" Lily teased quietly as the girls hugged goodbye.

"I'm sure Kathleen would've told them anyway," James said.

"Probably."

"You know they're going to drift apart," James whispered.

"Not if they don't want to. They could--"

"Meet for dinner one a week?" James suggested, smirking at Lily. She shrugged and smiled, remembering her weekly dinners with Gertrude.

"Maybe," she said. "You start over to the Ravenclaw house with the other two and I'll take Kathleen in and either find a prefect or show her to her room myself."

"All right, we'll take the fourth floor route," James said, walking over to the two sad-looking eleven year olds. "Ready to find Ravenclaw?"

The three of them headed off as Lily told Kathleen the password. The first year promptly told the Fat Lady 'Apple Crust,' and the Lady smiled and welcomed her into Gryffindor. The portrait swung open and Lily showed her the way to her dorm, which floor it was on, and how her trunk would be waiting for her.

"If you need anything, I'm in the seventh year rooms," Lily said, "or you could find a prefect--they'll be the students wearing badges--and they'll help you as much as they can. Don't trust Peeves the Poltergeist. Trust the ghosts for the most part, though."

"Thank you," Kathleen said, looking uncertain.

"You want me to walk you to your room?"

"No, thank you. I'll go alone," she said. Then she looked around at the common room that was like a home to Lily. "This is so scary. It's so different. It was all right with Susan and Tiffany, but I don't know anyone else."

"I know. You'll come to know other people and Susan and Tiffany will always be close," Lily said. "I was scared too, when I arrived."

"But the Hat said Gryffindor was wear the brave were."

"Bravery is the ability to overcome fear, not the lack of it," Lily said, quoting her father. "Besides, you'll get used to this soon. I promise."

"Well, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You will. If you need help finding the Great Hall, I normally have breakfast at eight."

"All right," Kathleen said, turning and opening the door to her dorm. "Night."

"Night," Lily said, waiting until the door was shut before she headed to the portrait hole.

"Hey Lily! Where're you going?" came Sirius's voice from the couch near the fireplace.

"To light the forest on fire," Lily said, holding the portrait open with her foot as she stopped to speak with him.

"That'll be fun," Sirius said. "Is James with you?"

"Actually, yes," Lily said.

"All right," Sirius said, standing. "We'll go to bed then. We were waiting for him, but I know how long 'lighting the forest on fire' can take."

"Oh good," Lily said, rolling her eyes and leaving.

Lily did not catch up with James and the two girls until the very entrance to the Ravenclaw common room.

"Hey!" Lily said, jogging up and smiling. "Kathleen's all settled."

"Good, good," James said, nodding his head toward the common room. "You want to open this and find a Ravenclaw to lead Susan around as we head to Slytherin by the Potions stairs?"

"That'll work," Lily said.

"You can't show me around?" Susan asked Lily.

"I'm sorry. I don't know the Ravenclaw commons very well," Lily said, placing a hand on the girl's back and leading her to the statue. "But it's not a problem. I know a lot of their prefects and they're all very nice."

"All right," Susan said, though her tone did not suggest that everything was all right. In fact, her tone sounded like she thought the world was ending.

"It'll be fine," Lily said, telling her the password and having the statue move aside for them. Lily walked into the common room with Susan and looked around. Quite a few people noticed the entry of the Head Girl (who was very much so not a member of their house) and a first year.

"Kevin?" Lily asked, walking up to Kevin Creggie, her good friend and fellow prefect.

"Lily?" he asked, standing up from her game of chess. "What're you doing in here?"

"One of your prefects lost one of your first years," Lily said, looking at Susan.

"Oh bugger all," he said, looking down at Susan. "I'm so sorry about that."

"S'all right," she said.

"Well, I'm Kevin Creggie."

"I'm Susan," she said quietly.

"Nice to meet you, Susan," Kevin said. "Let me show you around a bit and then I'll find a female prefect to take you to your room, okay?"

She nodded.

"Thanks, Lily," Kevin said, looking embarrassed. "I can't believe we did this."

"Don't worry. She was with her friends from Gryffindor and Slytherin. It happens to the best of us," Lily said, shrugging. Kevin smiled, his eyes falling to Susan again.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Susan," Lily said, waving goodbye.

"Good night, Lily," Susan said, looking around the room with awe. Lily smiled and turned to leave, but just as she reached the exit, a voice stopped her.

"Lily!" exclaimed a young, male voice. Lily smiled, recognizing Will McGrath as he raced up to her, smiling his large, exuberant smile, closely followed by Chad Caldwell.

"Hello, Will, Chad," Lily greeted them. "How were your holidays?

"Great!" they said together.

"Christine came over a lot," Will said. "She's dating Matt!"

"I knew that, actually," Lily said.

"Really?" Will asked, awed. Then his face melted into a little bit of an angry countenance. "Why didn't you ever visit?"

"I was a little busy," Lily only sort of lied. She didn't want to talk about feeling uncomfortable around Tracy. "My sister got married in August."

"What about June and July?" Will asked.

"Preparations and things," Lily said, "and I visited some of my family friends in Brussels."

"Why?" Will asked. Lily laughed.

"Because visiting family friends is fun," Chad answered, rolling his eyes. Will glared at his best friend. Chad ignored him and asked, "Did you see Ian?"

"Ian Tailor?" Lily asked. Chad nodded. "How do you know Ian?"

"He came to visit Sam in July," Chad said.

"Were they dating?" Lily asked. Chad shrugged. The idea of Sam and Ian dating made Lily actually very happy. He and his calm, funny, quirky manner would be great for Sam. Despite Christian's frantic accusations, Lily knew that Ian was her friend and she couldn't stand to doubt his character. It hadn't even been a conscience choice. She'd simply started trusting him again.

"He's nice," Chad said.

"Who was that first year you brought in?" Will asked.

Lily smiled. "Why? Don't you still think girls are gross?"

"They're not all gross," Will said. Lily smiled.

"Oh good," Lily said. "She was a first year who was lost."

"All right," Will said, obviously mentally jotting down this information.

"Well, I have to go," Lily said, "but it was nice seeing you both."

Lily gave them both quick hugs and left a moment later, Will calling after her about F.A.D. notes. She smiled as the statue moved into place behind her and jogged a little to catch up with James and Tiffany before they reached the common room. Luckily for her, that wasn't difficult: James and Tiffany were stopped on the main floor, talking with Gertrude Wrightman.

"Gertrude!" Lily said, smiling as she slowed to a walk. Gertrude nodded at Lily. "What are you doing?"

"I realized that the fifth year prefects lost a first year and I came to find her," Gertrude said. Lily inwardly cringed for those fifth year prefects. Gertrude was no doubt going to assign them some serious detentions.

"It happened in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw too, don't be too harsh on the prefects. It was utter confusion in the Great Hall," Lily noted.

"That's no excuse for no doing their one task correctly. I've already apologized to Tiffany."

"Oh good," Lily joked, "because I'm sure she was going to put in a house-transfer application because she had to be walked individually to her dorm the first day."

Gertrude looked at Lily reprovingly. Lily winked at her.

"Come on, you thought it was funny," James said, smiling. Lily smiled too, and nodded.

"Tiffany was fine. I promise," Lily said.

"Well, except for those few minutes when we were dangling her off the Astronomy tower," James said, placing a conspiratorial arm around Tiffany's little shoulders. "But you didn't mind, did you, Tiff?"

She shook her head, grinning, almost laughing.

"Though she may have minded when you nearly hit her with that Unforgivable," Lily quipped.

"Yes, that was a bit much. Sorry about that," James said to Tiffany. Now the eleven year old really did laugh, though Lily was sure she hadn't understood the reference to the Unforgivables.

"Are you quite finished?" Gertrude asked.

"We're only trying to make you understand that you had nothing to worry about," Lily said. "James and I took three first years back to their dorms and they all still have every last finger and toe they had when we began."

"Congratulations," Gertrude said, but Lily could see that her friend's mouth was quirking at the ends.

"You know," James said, "we are the Head students."

"I've heard as much," Gertrude said, "what with being on the train and all."

"Gertrude Wrightman, you better watch out," Lily said. "That was almost a funny comment."

"Thank you for the insight," Gertrude said.

"I'm always there for you," Lily replied, smiling. She looked at Tiffany and then back at Gertrude. "Actually, Gertrude, could I talk to you for just a moment?"

"Yes," Gertrude said, turning to Tiffany. "We'll be right back and then we'll go to the Slytherin common room."

Lily and Gertrude walked a few steps away.

"You know that her mother's a Muggle, right?" Lily asked, cutting straight to the chase.

"Why would that matter?"

"I'm not saying it should," Lily clarified, "but I worried that some of the younger students might not be too kind to her, especially after the rumours I heard last year."

"Do you know who she is?" Gertrude asked, looking Lily straight in the eye.

"Tiffany the First Year?" Lily asked, joking.

"She is Tiffany Corsi-Salviati," Gertrude said, looking over at the girl in question to see her watching James spelling her name in the air.

"I know from your tone that that is supposed to mean something to me," Lily said, loving how adorable James looked entertaining the girl, "but I'm drawing a blank here."

"She is nearly Italian royalty. She is the daughter of Count Corsi-Salviati, and her mother was a descendent of French royalty. She will not face prejudice."

"Oh, good," Lily said, sort of staggered by the rank of the little first year that was laughing as James added a flower to the end of her name.

"It was thoughtful of you to be concerned," Gertrude said, "especially for a Slytherin."

"What do you mean 'especially for a Slytherin'?"

"Nothing, I suppose, when I'm talking about you," Gertrude said, smiling a closed-mouth smile. "House distinctions still mean nothing to you, don't they?"

"Well, they do mean that you get to wear smashing green and silver scarves that I love while I'm stuck looking like one continuous colour with my gold and red one," Lily said.

"I thought so," Gertrude said, nodding at her friend. "It's good to see you, Lily."

"Good to see you, too. Wish I could have talked to you more when Sirius and I were at your house, but I sort of understood how awkward that would have been."

"Yes, it would have been."

They walked over to James and Tiffany.

"If you're ready to go, Tiffany, I'll show you back to the Slytherin dorms," Gertrude said. Tiffany looked up and James and then Lily. Both students nodded in encouragement, and then Tiffany looked at Gertrude and nodded too.

"You were wrong, you know, Lily," Gertrude said, pausing before they'd gotten too far and turning to look at Lily.

"Wrong? Me? Never," Lily said. Then she quirked her head and asked, "Wrong about what?"

"I never doubted that Tiffany was in good hands. I trust you to have taken care of her," Gertrude said. Then she nodded at both Lily and James, turned, placed a hand on Tiffany's shoulder and walked down the corridor. Lily stared after her for a moment, realizing that Gertrude was probably her best friend.

"You know," James said, "Gertrude may be the only person in the world that thinks we both ought to be the Head Boy and Girl."

Lily laughed, turned, and began to walk back to Gryffindor. James walked beside her.

"Hey, Dumbledore has faith," Lily said, nudging James lightly with her shoulder, "and I believe in you as Head Boy."

"Really?" James asked. "Is that just because you find me highly attractive or does it have to do with my actual abilities?"

"A little of both," Lily said, smiling.

James looked over at her, a goofily large grin on his face. "I don't think that'll ever get old."

"What won't?"

"You admitting that you like me."

"I said nothing about liking there, James," Lily said, smirking. "I only mentioned that I find you attractive. I find a lot of people attractive, including, among others--"

"Me," James finished, cutting her off. Lily's smile grew.

"Yes, actually," Lily said.

"Nope, that'll never get old," James said definitively. Lily rolled her eyes and turned to look down the corridor and James grabbed her hand, keeping her from walking on. And, sad as it is to admit, Lily nearly melted with happiness right then.

"Yes?" Lily asked, tilting her head to look up at James. He really was much taller than she.

"You really think I'm a good Head Boy?"

"Of course."

"When I got the badge, I couldn't think of a single reason why Dumbledore'd pick me," James admitted. Lily looked up at him.

"That's stupid," she said. "After I'd thought about it for less than a second, I knew it had to be you. I couldn't think of anyone else who even came close. Everyone adores you."

"Do you adore me?" James asked, that damnable twinkle in his eye and Lily laughed aloud, taking her hand out of his and walking backward for a bit.

"You're going to be doing that a lot, aren't you?" Lily asked, turning to walk forward. James jogged up to pace with her.

"Doing what?"

"That making-Lily-state-how-she-feels thing. You'll be doing that a lot, won't you?"

"Well, that's up to you," James said. "You could forego the whole process by just telling me all the time how adorable you think I am."

"Actually," Lily said, turning to face him and walk sideways for a moment before walking forward again, "I feel like you ought to follow me around all the time with kind words. Some suggestions are: Wow, Lily, you look phenomenal today; Lily, you're brilliant; Lily, I think you're better than anything in the whole world. You know, things like that."

"Lily, you look phenomenal today," James said, stopping walking. She stopped too at his serious tone. "Lily, you're brilliant. I think you're better than anything in whole world."

Lily laughed at the ridiculous compliments and tried to keep walking, breaking eye contact. "Exactly. Now you just have to say that another ten thousand times."

James did not keep moving. Instead, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, forcing her to look up at him.

"Lily, I think you always look phenomenal. I think you're always brilliant and I think you're better than anything. Anywhere."

"James, stop," Lily said, looking down at his chest and trying not to feel so wonderfully comfortable in his arms. It was a hot night and she was sweaty and gross from the train ride. Her arms were awkwardly hanging between them.

"I didn't even have to think about who the Head Girl would be. I knew it would be you," James said, and now Lily really was uncomfortable. She kept staring at his chest, at that Head Boy badge. Why was he saying these things?

"James, the only reason I have this position is because Dumbledore probably felt badly about the whole Ball thing," Lily said. James laughed loudly and Lily looked up at him questioningly, but if she'd expected him to tell her anything, she was mistaken. Instead, he leaned down and kissed her, pulled her as close as he could be and kissed her.

And it felt amazing.

Standing there in that darkened hall, his lips so wonderfully placed on hers, Lily forgot everything she had been thinking about, every awkward moment that had lead up to that perfect moment, every feeling of malcontent with her sweaty, gross state. She was happy, comfortable, safe, and just where she belonged.

When James pulled back and Lily's eye opened to see him breathing deeply, so close to her. She smiled up at him.

"That was fun," Lily said. "Any particular reason for it?"

"I'm just really happy to know you," James said, smiling, pecking her on the cheek, taking her hand, and walking toward Gryffindor commons again.

"Oh good, I'm glad to be me right now," Lily said. "So it's good for both of us, then."

James smiled, looked down at Lily, and said, "I don't know if I ever told you this, but I'm sorry about last year."

"In general, or was there something specific?"

"Well, the whole Polyjuice Potion thing was what I was talking about, but I suppose I'm sorry for the whole year," James said.

Lily looked down and noticed the way their legs were moving at the same time. It sounded like there was only one set of footsteps. "I'm sorry too."

"In general?"

"Yep," Lily said. "For fifth year forward. Actually, probably before that too, but fifth year seems like a good place to start apologizing."

"Thanks," James said, nodding at her. Lily shrugged.

"As a side note, I'm really against public displays of affection."

"All right, as a side note, you're Head Girl because everyone in this school respects you," James said. Lily laughed aloud.

"Right," Lily said. "McGonagall does little more than glare at me in class. The woman loathes me. The younger students don't even know who I am. Mainly I'm just the prefect that yelled at James Potter a lot."

"I know you believe that," James said, "because, well, you're blind, but you're wrong. You may not be one of McGonagall's favourite students--ie. Sirius and me--but she respects the hell out of you. Everyone does. Younger students ask your help with scheduling, older students ask your opinion on projects--"

"Only once," Lily interrupted, "did either of those things happen."

"Lily, you've been Head Girl for seven years, you only got the badge this year as a formality."

"Right," Lily scoffed.

"I am right," James said, smiling a confident smile, "but you don't believe me and you won't."

"No, I won't."

"That's all right," James said. "Not a problem. I didn't expect you to believe me, Miss Thinks-She's-Stupid."

"That's the codename I wanted! How did you know?" Lily asked, mock-excited.

"I'm a genius." He shrugged.

"Good to know."

They had reached the Fat Lady and outside it, sitting and laughing as they leaned against the wall, were Remus, Sirius, and Peter with a large champagne bottle and five champagne flutes.

"Hey there, Sirius," Lily said, letting go of James's hand and crouching in front of her friend. Sirius smiled at her.

"Hey there, Lily," he said, winking. "Have fun with Sputnik?"

"I did, actually," Lily said. "Quite surprising, isn't it?"

"I thought he was a snivelling toerag," Sirius said, looking questioningly at Lily as he grinned. Lily flicked him.

"Thanks for that reminder, Sirius," James said.

"Cheers for James!" Peter exclaimed, lifting his glass and clinking it with Sirius's and Remus's.

"Why are you in the corridor drinking?"

"To celebrate Lily and James, the two year disaster that is finally over," Peter said, reciting a title they seemed to have rehearsed. Lily laughed.

"Where are our glasses, then?" James asked, sitting beside his friends.

"Right here, mate," Remus said, putting them on the ground and filling them with champagne.

"You know, I could take this all as a very creepy thing," Lily said, relaxing in her position to sit comfortably on the ground.

"No, you couldn't," Sirius said. "I'm here."

Lily looked at James, who shrugged and lifted his glass in salute. She shrugged too, clinked glasses with them all and put it down. She hated champagne.

"Did we interrupt anything?" Sirius asked. "Your goodnight kiss, perhaps?"

"Don't worry about it, Sirius," Lily said, looking at her watch. "We've still got time."

Sitting there in the middle of the dark corridor in front of the grumpy Fat Lady, Lily had commented about time without thinking. And though Lily and James were still only just experiencing the awkward beginnings of their relationship and although they would have to go through many more months before they were truly comfortable with one another, this was a sentiment many expressed, seeing them together: they had time. When they went on their first date to Hogsmeade and people stayed with them throughout the date, Lily shrugged and said it was fine, that there would be time later for her and James to be alone together. When Lily brought James home to meet her parents that June and Lily said she thought she might be falling in love, her mother had cautioned her that she still had time for serious love. She was just eighteen.

But sitting there on the ground, laughing with her secret best friend forever on her right and Sputnik on her left, Lily could not help but think that she did not need more time.