Harmless and Easily Domesticated

The Doxys

After Bowtruckles, they learnt about ghouls. Hagrid got Mrs Weasley to bring the one from The Burrow to show the students, but this proved to be rather a disappointment. The ghoul was highly distressed at being removed from its attic and clung to Mrs Weasley's robes, sobbing, the whole time. When the lesson was over, she decided it would be best to take the creature home at once.

'Don' know what we'll do after we finish ghouls, I'm runnin' out o' harmless things ter teach,' said Hagrid to Harry, Ron and Hermione, as Mrs Weasley and the ghoul set off for Hogsmeade. 'Try ter get some imps or fairies, I s'pose -- Mooncalves an' Ramoras're too rare.'

In the event, that was to be the least of Hagrid's worries a fortnight on when their study of ghouls was complete. Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived for Care of Magical Creatures to find tubs of Flobberworms and bowls of lettuce set out. Hagrid sat on his cauldron holding a massive pewter tankard and looking exceptionally morose. Malfoy was whispering gleefully to Crabbe and Goyle; somehow Harry didn't think the opportunity to learn more about Flobberworms was the cause of his excitement.

The three of them exchanged anxious glances and headed over to have a word with Hagrid.

'Goyle told Malfoy about the troll,' guessed Harry.

Hagrid reached wordlessly into his overcoat and handed him a crumpled letter.

Dear Mr Hagrid,

An official complaint has been made to the Ministry of Magic that, in contravention of Educational Decree Number Twenty-two, you have exposed Hogwarts students to magical creatures of classification XXX or higher, to whit, Glumbumbles, Winged Horses and Bowtruckles.

An inter-departmental sub-committee has been appointed to investigate this matter. Their enquiry will take place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on March 4th.

Yours sincerely,
Robin Barnswallow
Beast Division
Ministry of Magic

'Doesn't say anything about trolls,' Ron noted.

'This is rubbish, you never taught Glumbumbles,' said Hermione, 'and Bowtruckles are XX, I went to the library and checked. And Winged Horses?'

'Diff'rent breeds have diff'rent ratings,' said Hagrid, 'but Dumbledore reckons I'll be OK with Madam Maxime's. He don' think I got much ter worry about. There'll have ter be a hearin', though -- they'll be comin' down ter observe one of me lessons. Lucius Malfoy's behind it, o' course ... leas' this time there's nothin' fer him ter have executed ... can' chop the head off a Flobberworm ...'

But as Hagrid took a long swig from the tankard, it was plain that this fact was of little consolation to him.

On the day of the hearing, Harry, Ron and Hermione made a point of showing up at Hagrid's cabin as early as possible. Hagrid let them inside, looking considerably less gloomy than they had expected him to be.

'Shipment o' fairies delivered this mornin',' he said happily. 'Not very impressive, I know, but anythin's better than Flobberworms, eh? An' these ones're sorta cute ...'

He whipped off the cover of the cage to reveal quite the ugliest fairies Harry had ever seen in his life. Thick black hair grew all over their bodies. Their shiny black wings rustled angrily as they bared double rows of pointy fangs and they appeared to have two pairs of arms and legs.

'Hagrid, those aren't fairies,' said Hermione in an appalled tone. 'They're Doxys, and they're classified XXX!'

Before Hagrid could say anything, there was a hammering on the door.

'Open up!' said a sharp voice. 'Sub-committee for the Enforcement of Educational Decree Number Twenty-two!'

'Don't open the door!' shrieked Hermione at the top of her lungs. 'The fairies are loose, they'll escape!'

She hissed a quick Locking Charm as, in express defiance of her orders, the doorknob began to turn.

'Go outside and get them away from the house,' she said tensely to Hagrid. 'Tell them we're catching the fairies, take them to see the Flobberworms -- pick them up by the backs of their robes and carry them if you have to!'

Hermione released the Locking Charm just long enough for Hagrid to squeeze outside. Seconds later, a great, ululating scream pierced the air. From beyond the door came a scuffling noise, several flashes of fiery red light and Hagrid's voice saying, 'Hey, none o' that!'

'Mr Dawlish, put your wand away!' a witch's voice screeched. 'Dolores, get a hold of yourself!'

The commotion gradually subsided and they heard footsteps moving away from the cabin.

'Right,' said Hermione, breathing heavily as she turned back to the Doxys. 'Right ...'

She stared at the cage for a moment, then drew her wand.

'Depilo!'

The Doxys' thick black hair fell out. The skin beneath was hideously wrinkled and fish-belly white.

'Melano!'

Though still hideously wrinkled, the Doxys now had a nice, healthy tan.

'Iridio!'

The Doxys' beetle-black wings took on a shimmering, rainbow hue.

'Lumos!'

The Doxys shone with a radiant golden light.

'Won't they notice the extra arms and legs?' said Ron. 'And the teeth -- those'll be pretty hard to miss.'

Far from being grateful for their makeover, the Doxys were spitting with rage, stamping their feet and shaking their tiny fists (of which they had twice the normal complement).

'Not if they don't get a close look at them,' said Hermione grimly.

She seized the cage of tarted-up Doxys, strode to the window, pulled back the curtain and peered out. The Sub-committee was several yards away, gathered around the Flobberworm tubs.

'You two go ahead of me -- block their view as much as you can. Intercept any of them who get too near.'

Immediately Harry and Ron emerged, Lucius Malfoy came hurrying over. They stepped up their pace to meet him --

'OH!' cried Hermione. Then, much more softly, 'Reducto!'

Harry and Ron swivelled to see her sprawled on the ground. For a brief instant, Harry thought the Trip Jinx he'd been preparing to cast on Mr Malfoy had gone off prematurely and in reverse. Then he spotted the Doxys' cage, lying in a shattered heap. Small, glimmering specks were zooming rapidly away from it.

'Accio!' yelled Mr Malfoy. 'Accio Doxys!'

It did him no good; Hermione was muttering Banishing Charms non-stop under her breath.

'Dimitto Dimitto Dimitto Dimitto ...'

'They're fairies, not Doxys,' said Harry, raising his voice so the rest of the Sub-committee could hear him. 'You won't fetch them back that way.'

Lucius Malfoy gave Harry a venomous glare and his fingers tightened convulsively on his wand, but of course he couldn't hex anyone in front of the other Sub-committee members.

'All right, Hermione?' said Hagrid, ambling over to help her up.

'I'm fine,' said Hermione, 'but -- oh, Hagrid -- your fairies are gone!'

'Tha's OK, they weren' really --' (Ron kicked Hagrid hard in the ankle) '-- ah, they weren' really very interestin', were they?'

'You should get your gold back from the shop that sold you them, that cage was definitely faulty goods.' Hermione's eyes narrowed. 'Who did you buy those fairies from, anyway?'

'Dunno,' shrugged Hagrid. 'None o' the usual places had 'em in stock, then these turned up by owl ...'

Hermione gazed piercingly at Mr Malfoy, but all she said to Hagrid was, 'Why don't you ask Professor Flitwick to conjure some for the next lesson? He puts them up as ornaments every Christmas --'

'Well, if that's settled, perhaps we can be getting on with this enquiry,' interrupted a tiny, grey-haired witch, so loudly that Harry gave a slight jump.

For the first time, he was able to take a good look at the members of the Sub-committee for the Enforcement of Educational Decree Number Twenty-two. The doddery old wizard from the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures who had attended Buckbeak's execution was there, more ancient and withered than ever. Macnair, thankfully, was not, but two other well hard-looking wizards were.

One had very short wiry grey hair; the other was tall, black and bald with a gold hoop in one ear. Both appeared quite capable of acting as executioner should the need arise. From behind the pair of them a squat, mousey-haired witch with a face like a toad was shooting petrified glances at Hagrid -- maybe he really had picked her up by the back of her robes and carried her away from the cabin.

The witch who had just spoken was stooped with age and had more wrinkles than a depilated Doxy, but there was nothing the least bit feeble about her voice.

'The first complaint before the Sub-committee!' she bawled. 'That on or about the 23rd of October! You did bring Glumbumbles into the Hogwarts grounds! Resulting in the treacle-poisoning of a student! Vincent Crabbe!'

'Hagrid never taught Glumbumbles!' said Hermione, speaking nearly as loudly as the grey-haired witch. 'Crabbe stole that treacle from the wizard who came to exterminate the Chizpurfles!'

The entire Sub-committee wheeled round to stare at her.

'We have signed statements from Professor Lupin and Professor Snape,' she said, nudging Hagrid in the thigh with her elbow.

At the sound of Lupin's name, the toad-like witch gave a hiss, but was clearly too frightened of Hagrid to offer any further objection. Hagrid drew two rolls of parchment from inside his overcoat and handed them to the grey-haired witch.

'Here y'are, Professor Marchbanks ...'

The parchments were passed around the Sub-committee, to much clucking and muttering.

'This boy ate actual Glumbumble treacle?' they heard the Dangerous Creatures wizard say, his reedy voice full of amazement. 'This was not a case of beehives becoming contaminated?'

'Hmph, well, all this appears to be in order,' said Professor Marchbanks at last. 'Which brings us to the second complaint! Winged Horses!'

'The Winged Horses were Abraxans, which are normally classified XXX,' said Hermione, who seemed to have appointed herself Defence Counsel. 'However, as these particular Abraxans had in fact been domesticated, a reduced classification for exceptional specimens was obtained from the French Ministry of Magic. Reciprocal reclassification was extended by the British Ministry when the horses in question were brought into this country for the Triwizard Tournament.'

Hagrid gave Professor Marchbanks another sheaf of parchments. The members of the Sub-committee examined them closely, but evidently could find no fault.

'The third complaint!' shouted Professor Marchbanks. 'The Bowtruckle attack on Gregory Goyle!'

'Bowtruckles are classified XX, according to Newt Scamander,' said Hermione, holding out her copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

'These things are considered harmless?' said the black wizard, lifting an eyebrow, when the book was passed to him.

'Yes, Mr Shacklebolt,' said Hermione, 'and have been for some time. I've got earlier editions from 1969, 1935 and 1927.'

She pulled a set of battered old books from her bag and handed them round the Sub-committee.

'Dear, dear, the Department will certainly have to be reconsidering that rating,' said the Dangerous Creatures wizard wheezily. 'But it appears Mr Hagrid acted within the letter of the law as presently written ...'

'Then that should conclude the enquiry!' hollered Professor Marchbanks.

As the Sub-committee turned to go, she tugged on Shacklebolt's sleeve.

'I've a few things to discuss with Dumbledore,' she said, in what was plainly meant to be a whisper but came out as a normal speaking voice. 'If you could make sure Dolores gets back to the Ministry safely -- I think Hagrid scared her.'

Professor Marchbanks set off towards the castle at a brisk totter. The other Sub-committee members headed for gates. Lucius Malfoy took up the rear, in such a fury that smoke seemed to be billowing up from his cloak. Only it wasn't smoke, Harry realised, but dust: Mr Malfoy was leaving a faint white trail across the lawn behind him. He pointed this out to Ron and Hermione.

'Looks like he's got a hole in his Floo bag,' sniggered Ron.

Hermione bent down and plucked a powdery blade of grass.

'This doesn't look like Floo powder,' she said, frowning. 'Too grainy, and not glittery enough ...'

'Oh, come off it,' said Ron. 'What else could it be?'

A week later when the first of the Horklumps sprouted, they found out.