Harmless and Easily Domesticated

-- CHAPTER ONE -- The Augurey

Harry's first Divination lesson of the year was a short one. Professor Trelawney was extremely put out to find he'd survived the summer. She shot glances of frustrated bafflement in his direction all through her lecture on animal omens and dismissed the class a quarter hour early.

Because of this, Harry and Ron arrived at Hagrid's cabin for Care of Magical Creatures before anyone else. They found Hagrid sitting on an overturned cast-iron cauldron that was almost as big as the Dursleys' kitchen table. He looked to be in scarcely a better temper than Professor Trelawney. A bucket-sized pewter tankard, nearly empty, lay on the ground beside him.

'What's up, Hagrid?' said Harry.

'Aaah, I dunno abou' me classes this year, Harry,' Hagrid sighed. 'Ministry o' Magic's bin interferin' ... say I can on'y teach creatures that've been classified XX -- harmless an' eas'ly domesticated.' He gazed moodily into the tankard, then added, 'An' X, but that's jus' Flobberworms.'

'And Horklumps, surely?' said Hermione, who had come strolling down the sloping lawn the join them.

'There'll be no Horklumps comin' through the Hogwarts gates s'long as I'm Keeper of Keys and Grounds!' Hagrid growled.

Harry and Ron looked at each other, eyebrows raised. What sort of magical creature could be so unpleasant that even Hagrid wanted nothing to do with it?

'An' here I was plannin' ter get yeh some Chimaera eggs ter hatch ...' said Hagrid in deep disgruntlement.

Once the rest of the students had gathered round his hut, Hagrid went inside and came out again carrying a covered cage.

'We're studyin' Augureys today,' he told them, and jerked the cover off the cage.

Harry had never imagined he'd encounter a bird uglier than a phoenix on a Burning Day, but the Augurey was definitely that. Scrawny and vulture-like, its feathers a sickly greenish shade of black, the Augurey stood huddled on its perch gazing out at them mournfully.

'Now the cry of the Augurey is so frightenin',' said Hagrid, for the first time showing a glimmer of his old enthusiasm, 'that wizards've died o' hearin' it.'

'Died!' exclaimed Hermione. She whipped out her copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and started flicking through the pages. If the Augurey's voice was anything like its appearance, however, Harry could well believe Hagrid's claim.

'But there's on'y one thing that'll make an Augurey sing,' Hagrid went on, 'an' tha's rain.'

He put the cage on top of the massive cauldron, drew his flowery pink umbrella from his overcoat and waved it at the Augurey.

Nothing happened. Hagrid lowered the umbrella, looking crestfallen.

'So -- so yeh've gotta wait fer some rain. You lot keep a watch on the Augurey. I'll be in me house ... doin' stuff.'

He picked up the pewter tankard and stumped off into his cabin.

As soon as Hagrid was out of earshot, Malfoy began to snicker. 'That brainless oaf thought he could convince an Augurey it was going to rain by waving an umbrella at it? What an utter pillock!'

'He must've been trying to do a weather spell,' Hermione muttered to Harry and Ron (the three of them were fairly certain that Hagrid's pink umbrella held the pieces of his broken wand). 'That's illegal, and dangerous, and very advanced ...'

'Lucky it didn't work, then,' Ron muttered back.

For several minutes they stood watching the Augurey, which was very boring. Hermione went back to reading Fantastic Beasts.

'It says here that the feathers of the Augurey will repel ink,' she said brightly. 'Let's test it out, shall we?'

Hermione reached through the bars of the cage and plucked a feather from the Augurey's tail. The Augurey gave her a tragic look but remained weirdly silent. Hermione took out an inkbottle, unscrewed the top and dipped the Augurey-feather quill into it.

SPLAT!

Ink shot from the bottle, hitting Hermione square in the face. She emitted an outraged squawk. The Slytherins fell about howling with laughter.

'There's mud in your eye, Granger,' gasped Malfoy, putting particular emphasis on the word 'mud'.

Hermione rounded on him, jaw rigid with fury, and yanked out her wand. For a moment Harry thought she was going to curse Malfoy, but instead Hermione pointed the wand at her own head.

'Dimitto!' she snarled.

The ink flew off Hermione's face. Most of it landed on Malfoy, who gave a loud yell. Hagrid poked his head out the door of his hut to see what was the matter.

'She threw ink on me!' complained Malfoy.

'Don' worry,' Hagrid told him, 'it'll wash off.'

He stepped out the cabin, lifted the water barrel and began striding towards Malfoy. Suddenly a great throbbing moan of agony filled the air. The low, terrible sound pierced at Harry's heart like a shard of ice. The whole class stood transfixed with horror. Hagrid stumbled and the contents of the barrel went flying.

All of the students were liberally splattered. Malfoy, who had been standing directly in Hagrid's path, was drenched to the skin. When the last of the water had hit the earth, the Augurey mercifully went quiet, and the spell of its voice was broken.

'Now look what you've done!' said Malfoy in a fury.

'Got the ink off, didn' it?' said Hagrid shortly. He held out a hand to Malfoy. 'Take off yer robes, I'll wring 'em out fer yeh.'

Malfoy backed away from him, arms folded protectively across his chest. Hagrid let his hand drop (Pansy Parkinson and her gang of Slytherin girls looked disappointed).

Hagrid's eyes traveled over his dampened students. 'Er -- yeah ... Now that yeh've heard the Augurey, yeh migh' as well get back ter the castle an' dry off ...'

Shivering slightly, the Care of Magical Creatures class started trudging up to the school.

'A proper teacher could have cast a Drying Charm,' Malfoy was saying in an angry hiss. 'If I catch cold, my father --'

'Nex' lesson's Bowtruckles!' Hagrid boomed across the grounds at them.

'Oh, good,' said Ron. 'Perhaps next lesson Malfoy'll get his eyes gouged out.'

Hermione looked askance at this. She extracted her copy of Fantastic Beasts from her bag and turned to the entry on Bowtruckles. After reading over it, she said in a shocked tone, 'These things are considered harmless?'