An Unlikely Coven

*

Splish, splash, splish, splash.

The sky had unleashed its hellish fury upon Scotland.

Of course, a little rain is never anything to be worried about- it's just water, is it not? Just a little bit of precipitation.

Well, not when it's accompanied by ominous rumbles of thunder and sudden strikes of lightning.

This was not a friendly rainstorm, the type that cleanses and replenishes that which is barren; this was a murderously dangerous whirlwind. The rain didn't merely fall, but seemed to have been thrown from the heavens above, and in extraordinarily large amounts. The ground, solid only a few hours before, had transformed into a disgusting, swirling, goopy mass of the most unfriendly mud. Not even warm, the watered earth would fly up from its grounded position when disturbed, and hit the offending trespasser in the face with a cold, hard, satisfying thwack! sound. The thunder roared from above, a warning to all who dared to emerge from the warmth and aridity of their cozy homes. And, as if that wasn't enough, every so often, a flash of light would zoom to the ground, flickering and fizzling dangerously. The wind whipped around houses and trees loudly, though not whistling; for whistling would have been too sweet, too reassuring. Instead, it screamed, and echoed through the ears of all who dared to interrupt its speedy course.

Who in their right mind would dare to go out in that?

Well, if there actually is proof of Linda Potter's sanity, it has never really come to light.

Linda barely even felt the torrents of rain stinging against her skin, although the heavy droplets permeated every stitch of her clothing. Faster and faster she sprinted, tossing up footfalls of mud in her wake- Suffolk County's leading 400-meter runner was definitely giving her leg muscles a workout. There was no one who could outrun Linda Potter; like Atalanta, she was virtually unbeatable, and there were no golden apples to be thrown.

She squinted her eyes a bit; it wouldn't do her much good if the other contact lens fell out, would it? She'd previously lost all vision on the left side, and was trying to see with only one eye. Was it- was it- yes, the shock of red hair was still there, and he seemed to be beckoning to her.

Linda opened her mouth to shout, and felt a tizzy of raindrops hit her tongue. "Come on, Bobby, let's go! Back to the castle!" she yelled, but her voice was lost in the swirling winds.

The wind was screaming, the rain was pounding, and the thunder was rolling, but through it all, there was one thought racing through her mind, and it was: Get to Bobby. Get to Bobby. It spun around and around, like a broken record, hitting the walls of her head and burrowing into all the crevasses of her brain, melding together-Get to Bobby get to bobbygettobobbygettobobbygettobobby- overlapping and overtaking all traces of rationality and sense- however small they truly were. Between her lunacy-tinged inner monologue and the powerful forces of nature, it was nothing short of a wonder that she heard the familiar yell of Joey Malfoy behind her. His voice carried a message, intoned with the utmost urgency- but what was it?

Stop? Stop? What does he mean, stop? Here we are, in the middle of a deranged thunderstorm, trying to save our best friend, and he expects me to stop?

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she screamed back, her high-pitched delivery whisked back to Joey by the four winds.

About fifteen meters behind, Joey opened his mouth to reply, but nothing was audible; a large crack of thunder had just sounded, drowning him out, and a strike of lightning had collided with the ground just a few hundred yards away.

Linda jumped slightly; but she didn't slow down. Nothing short of a head on collision would stop her- she was racing like a wildcat train. She was good for another hundred meters, full throttle, at least. She lifted her head up- oops, there goes the other contact- unclenched her fists, and started moving at breakneck speed.

Fifty meters- thirty meters- ten meters- Linda was almost there. She threw one arm out-

*

Dammit, why does she have to be so goddamn fast? Joey Malfoy thought, as he struggled to catch up to Linda. She's got such short legs, and they move like two twin knives, cutting through the air. He felt the hood of his sweatshirt fall from his head, as the wind lifted it off. Not like I care anyway- I'm soaked to the bone as it is. He threw his hair- now soaked with both precipitation and persperation- off his face, and resigned himself to being fifteen meters behind.

His eyes were now trained on two things- Linda's sillhouette, a light blue jacket streaking through the inky blackness, and the dim outline of Bobby, about a hundred and fifty meters hence. The only thing keeping him visible was his brilliantly crimson hair.....

Wait a second, he thought. Why the hell is Bobby just standing there? Can't he see us going to him? I'm supposed to be the dense one!

Suddenly, a crack of lightning rocketed through the black sky, illuminating the grounds of Hogwarts. Joey took his eyes off his own blue jacket, and focused on the second figure.

A chill ran down his spine, coating every muscle and bone in his body with ice.

Holy shit, his mind screamed, that isn't Bobby!

Bobby's red hair and coloring was in clear evidence; however, it occurred to Joey, there was no way that his best friend would be standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with a positively maniacal grin on his face, eyes glinting evilly.

Dammit, what the hell is going on? I've got to warn Lin!

"Linda!" he screamed. "For Christ's sake, Stop! Stop! Stop!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" her voice echoed back.

Linda, now is the time to stop being so frigging naïve! Joey said mentally, as he splashed into a puddle.

"Can't you see, Linda, that's not Bobby!"

Unfortunately, a crack of thunder disturbed his statement. The ensuing lightning confirmed his fears- there was no way that the person standing over there was Bobby Weasley. He was now laughing hysterically- it was almost a deranged cackle.

"How can she not see the difference?" he muttered to himself. "It's not as if she forgot to put in-" he stopped.

"That's it! Her contacts must have fallen out! Oh my God, she can't realize it! She's not going to know, until it's too late....."

Shit, shit, shit. Why do I have to be a pole-vaulter, instead of a racer?

Joey urged his legs to carry him faster, but it didn't seem to be working.

Wake up, Malfoy! For God's sake, you're a wizard! There's got to be something you can do about this!

"Of course!" Joey ignored the two prevalent detriments: one, that he lacked a wand, and two, that he was holding an intelligent conversation with no one but himself, and murmured the first bit of nonsense that leapt to his mind.

"Rabbits, racers, all things quick- help me stop Linda, before she....." he stopped, at a loss for a more intelligent phrase than the one that occurred to him.

"Um," Joey continued, cursing his netherway with words, "before she reaches that prick?"

Fortunately, the Fates must not have cared about Joey's dialect, because suddenly, he felt his legs speed up. His strides increased, and to the innocent observer, it would seem as if he was flying through the air. He accelerated, faster than he had ever run before. He was five meters behind Linda- she was almost to that thing- level with her- he jumped, and-

*

Almost there.....just a few more steps.....

Linda's fingertips brushed Bobby's arm, but before she could do anything else-

"What the fu-OOOF!"

-she hit the muddy ground with an audible splat.

Muttering phrases that would make a leather-clad biker cringe, Linda rolled over.

"Joey!" she shrieked. "Have you lost your frigging mind?"

"No, but you've obviously lost your contacts!" Joey still had her pinned to the ground. "Dude, look up! That's not Bobby!"

"Are you insane?" Linda snapped back, raising her head. "Of course it's Bobby. Who else wou- hey, where'd he go?"

Joey's head shot up, spraying Linda with droplets. Where the über-Bobby had been positioned just three seconds earlier, there was nothing but rain-filled space.

"Care to explain that, Miss Logical?" Joey asked coolly.

"Maybe I could, if you'd get off me!" Linda shot back. "Why the hell did you tackle me in the first place?"

Joey stood up, and straightened himself out. "Can we talk about this somewhere, oh, I don't know, that's not HERE?" he said sarcastically. "Geez, Linda, you're such a blathering idiot sometimes! We're in the middle of a goddamn thunderstorm, it's freezing, and you want to talk about this now?"

"YES!" Linda screamed back. "Why the hell not? It's not like anything will be different inside."

Joey groaned. "I don't feel like dealing with your smarmy, princessy, bitchy-ass attitude and your petty instinctiveness for squabbling right now, okay?" And with that, he turned and started running back to the castle, angrily seething all the way.

And to think I just saved her ass back there. What the fuck was that about? Huh? All she ever does is narcissistically bitch and moan and groan all the time.

Doesn't even bother to thank me. How typical. Could she get any more inconsiderate? Could she? I don't know, and I don't think I want to find out. Never even gives a damn about other people's feelings.

I can't believe I just used my precious energy on that coldhearted, inconsiderate, stuck-up, snotty, Abercrombie-wearing ice queen. What a waste.

*

Linda resignedly started after him.

All right, something's up with him. Has to be- this isn't him talking, I don't think. Joey Malfoy may be an egotistical sonofabitch, but he's never outwardly biting and hateful.

Am I really smarmy, and bitchy, and princessy? God, I hope not. That would just be the icing on this goddamn cake of an inferiority complex, wouldn't it?

Hah! Linda Potter, an inferiority complex? Doesn't it sound like it should be the exact opposite? Superiority complex seems more fitting. Well, maybe if you're..... not..... me.

The last thing I aim to be is smarmy. Maybe I just come off that way to people. Yeah, I suppose I do. I have a tendency to act high-and-mighty. Princessy? Well, no denying that. I can't help that. I think I may be naturally inclined to do that- I'm a product of my environment, so to speak. Only child, upper class family- maybe that's why. I'll honestly never know.

Bitchy? Well, what's so wrong with that? There are so many other things that I could be..... I could be a submissive, cowering underling, totally dependent on everyone and everything. I could be deceptively sweet- outwardly sugary, inwardly bitter. I could be..... well, it doesn't matter what I could be. The fact is, I'm a raging bitch most of the time, and there's honestly no point in hiding it. It's me, I'm here, and everyone else can just deal with it.

I cannot believe I let that run through my head. If anyone ever heard that, they'd think that I was terribly snobby and egotistical. But I'm not. There's a lot more to me than people witness with their first impression.

But don't you think that my best friend, of all people, would be able to understand me better than anyone else?

No first impressions there.

*

Linda stopped her introspection as she reached the stone patio by the front entrance of Hogwarts. As usual, she had beaten Joey by a large distance. She stopped a moment to catch her breath, and to dry off a bit; the smooth slab was shielded from the elements by an overhang. She took her wand out of her shorts pocket.

"Soap, shampoo, Cucumber Melon Body Scrub, help me get clean....." Linda paused, puzzled for a second. What could rhyme with 'scrub'?

"Rub-a-dub-dub?" Joey wheezed, stumbling onto the pavement. He leaned over, hands on his knees, panting.

A shimmering wave passed over the patio.

"Thanks, kid," the no longer muddy Linda said. "Didn't know you cared."

A scowl passed over Joey's face. "Don't read much into it, Potter. You weren't the only one who lost their appealing facade of mud, you do realize. Besides, I can't stand dirt."

Linda's eyes darkened to forest green, matching Joey's steely gray ones. "And what is with you this evening?" She conjured up a Sani-Wipe. "You're suddenly all, I don't know, nasty." She vigorously rubbed her hands. "What gives?"

"Well, you know, when you save someone's life, it's usually de rigueur that you show a little gratitude," Joey responded sharply.

Linda's eyes went wide. "Joey, what are you talking about?"

Joey threw his hands in the air. "Tell me something, Linda. When you were running to, well, Bobby, did it ever occur to you that it might not have been him? He wasn't doing anything, just standing there. And you didn't notice?"

"Well, I did, but....." Linda trailed off. "I guess my judgement was a bit clouded."

Joey snorted.

"Oh, all right, quite clouded," Linda corrected herself. "And I'd lost my contacts. What were you expecting, total reason?"

"Well, no." Joey shook his head. "Or, I shouldn't have. But, really, Linda, haven't you figured out that I pulled a Dallas Cowboys on you only because you were in trouble?"

Linda gasped. "Oh, no! I'm..... I'm...... I'm sorry! I didn't realize..... God, you must hate me now."

Joey said nothing.

"Joey?" Linda inquired hopefully. "You don't hate me, do you?"

"I guess not. I really can't. It wouldn't make much sense," Joey relented. "C'mere, now that you don't smell like vegetation."

"And whose fault was that?" Linda returned, laughing, as she threw her arms around her best friend.

Joey returned the hug, resting his chin on her head. This would be the absolute perfect moment, he thought, if this were any other girl.

Linda inhaled the scent of Cucumber Melon. This would be so romantic, she thought, if this were anyone besides Joey. This is just a nice, friendly thing. He's practically my bro-

"Linda! Joey!"

The front doors of the castle were thrown open, and Harry, Hermione, Draco, and Ginny ran out onto the patio.

Linda and Joey hastily pulled apart. "Mom! Dad! Listen, we didn't mean to just take off-"

"It's okay, Linda," Hermione replied, smoothing her daughter's hair down. "From what Bobby and the twins told us, we've been able to figure out everything."

"Very risky of you two to go out there, in this weather," Harry said. "There's so much that could have happened-"

"And it did," Joey interjected. He proceeded to tell the adults everything.

Draco sighed heavily. "Typical. Just typical of those Dark Arts cowards. They manifest themselves as someone else, then send 'telepathic' messages to someone that's close to their unfortunate victim, trying to draw them to itself."

"From what Draco said before," Ginny continued, "I can surmise that someone picked up Bobby's aura when he and Persephone Apparated, and used it to attract their victims- that would be you two- in order to....."

"I get the picture, Mom," Joey said quickly. "You don't need to go on."

"I'd rather not." Ginny shuddered. "It's awfully cold out here, you realize. Shall we go inside?"

"Of course," Joey agreed, and walked into the Hall. His parents followed.

Linda had one foot in the castle, but then turned. "Ma? Dad?" she asked nervously.

"Yes, dear?" Hermione responded curiously.

"Um..... what does all this mean? A fake Bobby? Auras?"

Harry sighed. "Linney, what it means is, we have to try harder than ever to prepare you three. The Dark Side knows your location now..... our time has been cut drastically....."

"Linda, why don't you go on up to bed now?" Hermione suggested, gently pushing Linda inside. "You're going to catch pneumonia, after being out here for so long."

"Okay....." Linda walked through the entryway, and disappeared upstairs.

Harry and Hermione wordlessly walked into the hall. "Why did you cut me off?" Harry asked. "She has a right to know!"

"She has a right to know," Hermione conceded, "but she also has a right to ignorance. She's better off not knowing certain things, and the direness of this situation is one of them."

"I suppose you're right." He took her hand, and they, too, started up the stairs. "She'll be better off not knowing just how bad it is. I swear, Bobby can be so careless....." he trailed off, as they reached the Ravenclaw wing.

"Ron may kill him," Hermione added. "Really, just taking off like that, with no consideration for anyone else....." She stopped, and opened the door of their room. "And of course, we all know why he did it," she said dryly.

"Hermione," Harry said, mock-seriously, "you can't possibly be telling me that you're looking down on poor Bobby for doing something crazy, in the name of puppy love?"

"Yes, I am." She snapped her fingers, and both were back in their pajamas. "Oh, no, I can see where this is going....."

"Oh, can you?" He stepped closer. "And, pray tell, where is it going, Madame Fortune Teller?"

"Let's see." She, too, moved in. "You're going to go into a long-winded spiel about how we should be judging anyone for acting on emotions, and then you'll kiss me, and I think your imagination can take over from there."

"All right." Without warning, he scooped her up, and rested his forehead against hers. "Can we skip the long-winded spiel?"

"Sounds good to me," she replied slyly, pressing her lips to his.

"Mmmm. Let's hope this doesn't end in imagination." He closed his eyes, as they pulled each other into a deep kiss.

*