An Unlikely Coven

*

After such a long, exhausting day, all Joey Malfoy wanted to do was get a little rest. Lie down, listen to music, maybe fall asleep, although it was only seven o' clock. He had previously been chatting with Bobby Weasley, carefully avoiding speaking to the strung-out, hyperactive Linda.

Ever since that little bombshell had been dropped on them- yes, the one about their 'unlikely coven'- Joey had been feeling increasingly inferior compared to his raven-haired best friend. He could handle the aggravatingly perfect grades, the superstar-athlete status, the musical prodigy, the trust and respect bestowed upon her by teachers and students alike. However, this was the last straw.

I've finally gotten a skill that's out of the ordinary, something very few people have, he thought, and what happens? Linda goes and steals the spotlight, as usual. She's the most powerful witch ever- I'm just this insignificant blip on the radar.

Joey Malfoy. Just another figure cast under Linda's ever-increasing shadow. Ain't that the ticket? Little Miss Perfect's sidekick. Ouch.

This sucks. Really, it does. Why can't I think of anything more profound to describe this? I can't go into detail about being caught in swirling whirlpools of mediocrity and insufficiency; all I can manage is, "This sucks." Of course, I'll bet five bucks that Linda, with that damn brain of hers, could make my current anguish into a freaking Oscar-winning screenplay. She always does. It brings certain things to mind.....

"Anything you can do, I can do better....."

Everything she does, everything she succeeds at, I feel like she's tossing it into my underachieving face. I know she's not doing it purposely. That's another thing that I just can't stand- she's sardonic and insulting, but always altruistic. Arrogance- now that's my department. How else to deal with her? Just pretend that I'm better, act like I'm better. Sure, I come off as an insufferable snot, but it's preferable to being consistently cast into the background. I might be in her shadow, but at least I fight my way to the front most of the time.

I don't know why this doesn't bother Bobby as much as it does myself. Sure, he's not thrilled about this whole situation- I'm not the only one who's constantly in her shadow- but he's not uncharacteristically bothered by it, either. He's blocking it out. By now, we're both pretty used to being blatantly incomparable.

Incomparable. I like the connotation of that. One thing I can't complain about- having to live up to Linda's larger-than-life precedent. She's so supererogatory, no one actually expects either myself or Bobby to compare to her. We don't do that badly, actually. Despite what she says, we both manage honors marks. We're just as hardworking as the next kid. Unfortunately, being best friends with Linda Potter makes everything pale. Thankfully, my parents and my teachers don't expect anything more from me than what I'm capable of doing. I'd probably be a dead man if they did. She's freaking superhuman. Impossible.

Why isn't Bobby irritated by this? Hell, I don't even know why I'm so irritated by this. And he's supposed to be the one with the temper. I don't understand.

Why does this get to me? Is there a difference in Linda's relationships with Bobby and myself?

Ew. Scratch 'relationships'- I don't think that's the correct term. Maybe acquaintances? Nah, that doesn't work. Relationships it is, although the implied denotation of the word differs greatly from its accepted connotation. I'm working in terms of denotation, not connotation, no matter what Bobby seems to think.

You know, thinking can be awfully dangerous. I've gotta snap out of it- perhaps tease Bobby about that Persephone girl a bit.....

*

"Wait a minute." Linda Potter jumped off her bed, and started pacing the floor of the seventh-year-Gryffindor boys' dorm. "Did you just say what I thought you said?"

Joey Malfoy glanced at her quizzically. "What? 'Bobby, you need to roll up your tongue when Persephone Longbottom is in the immediate vicinity?'"

"No, not you. Bobby." Linda kicked off her sandals.

"Me? I just said, 'I wonder how far it is to London. Sibby Malone and the Electric Piccolo Band are playing a club-'"

"Yes!" Linda shrieked. "That's it! My favorite band of all time is here!"

"I thought your favorite band of all time was Led Zeppelin," Joey commented, scratching his head.

"My favorite contemporary band, you doofus." Linda stopped her pacing. "Did you know that Rolling Stone called Sibby Malone and the Electric Piccolo Band the most talented progressive rock band in ages?"

"I don't know, Linda, who was the one who told you that?" Bobby asked sarcastically. "Really, I fail to see the appeal of four guys and a girl, who constitute a mediocre rock band when they play normal instruments, playing souped-up piccolos every so often."

"That's the point!" Linda exclaimed. "They're different! They're progressive! They're interesting!"

"They're terrible," Bobby interjected.

Joey cleared his throat. "They really aren't that bad, you know. They're no Pink Floyd, of course, but some of the songs without the squealing woodwinds are pretty damn good."

"Joey, I appreciate your input, but the piccolos are the best part," Linda explained. "It's just so innovative."

"Just because you play the piccolo does not necessarily mean that it's the greatest instrument," Bobby retorted.

"I thought you played the trombone." Joey looked puzzled.

"Yeah, and I thought she played the bassoon, but I guess she's on the piccolo now," Bobby agreed.

"Can I play more than one instrument without you people thinking I'm weird?" Linda threw her hands in the air.

"Linda. It is weird. You seem to pick up a new instrument every single week!" Joey pointed out.

"Whatever." Linda turned to her bed, and started to rummage through one of her bags. "There's got to be a schedule in here somewhere....."

"You're never going to find it," Joey commented. "Number one, you're hopelessly disorganized. Number two, there are too many bags for you to remember what one it was in. No wonder they had to keep repeating the Mobilius Charm to get all your necessary stuff here."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Linda, don't waste your time. I already mentioned it- they're playing at the Nightshade Club, tonight. In an hour. It's not like you're exactly going to see them or anything."

"Nightshade? Tonight?" Persephone Longbottom appeared at the door. "You wouldn't happen to be talking about Sibby Malone and the Electric Piccolo Band, would you?" She bounced into the room (not a soothing sound, with her preferred choice of footwear), and set herself down on Linda's bed.

"Yes, actually." Linda stopped burrowing through her bag, and sat down next to Persephone. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, they are the best progressive rock band in ages," Persephone replied, eyes twinkling. "And it just so happens that the Nightshade is one spell away from here."

Joey rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. Apparating there and back, without our parents noticing? That's going to happen."

"Of course!" Persephone exclaimed. "It's easy as anything! Besides, admission to the club's pretty cheap- eight pounds."

"Eight pounds?" Linda exclaimed. "I love the Electric Piccolos, but how the hell are we going to make this happen? Isn't it against the law for us to do magic?"

"Not since 2009," Persephone explained. "They found that there was a need sometimes for underage witches and wizards to do magic on holiday. They did away with the restriction. Besides, most students don't know how to Apparate, anyway."

"Well, then, um, Perri," Bobby squeaked, "how are we going to pull this off?"

Persephone grinned widely. "With a little help from my esteemed sister."

*

"Uh-uh. No way."

"Please, sis?" Persephone pleaded. "Please?"

Kaites Patil steadfastly shook her head. "Absolutely not! I refuse to partake in such an uncouth scheme!"

"Oh, drop the 'I'm So Cultured' act for about five minutes," Persephone snapped. "You like the Piccolos just as much as I do, and you know it!"

Linda, Joey, and Bobby remained silent. Persephone had dragged them into the suite she shared with Kaites, and was trying her damndest to convince her that it was a perfectly safe, honorable, and honest idea.

"Yes, Perri, that is true." Kaites's eyes were steeled. "However, there are just too many risks! We could get caught, we could get grounded-"

"Right," Persephone scoffed. "Like Mother and Father will even notice that we're gone. And as for these three, we can always claim that we coerced them into it. We won't get caught. But on the outside chance that we do, Mother and Father won't care. They'll be happy that we actually cooperated for once. And Linda, Bobby, and Joey got forced into going along. We'll say that. Nothing is going to happen, Kaites."

Kaites reluctantly hopped off her bed. "I cannot believe that I am actually doing this, but fine. Meet me out by the Quidditch pitch in half an hour."

"I knew you'd say yes!" Persephone squealed. "Thank you so much!" She jumped up and down, hugging her twin.

"That's quite enough." Kaites, looking disgusted, peeled her sister off of her. "Let me change." She was still wearing her rumpled shorts and tee-shirt.

"Quidditch pitch, half an hour. Got it?" Persephone disappeared into an adjoining room.

"I really don't think this is such a good idea," Joey said quietly, as they walked back to Gryffindor Tower. "There are way too many possibilities for us to get killed. By our parents."

"Relax, Joey," Bobby replied impatiently. "If Perri says we'll be fine, then we'll be fine."

"Wait a second," Linda said, stopping in the stairwell. "What was it about Apparation that's detrimental to us? We can be tracked or something?"

"Yeah!" Joey agreed. "Listen, Bobby, this could be bad. We couldn't Apparate from the States, and we couldn't Apparate to Hogwarts-"

"-on pain of Nilock finding out where we are," Linda finished. "This isn't such a good idea."

Bobby glared at them both. "Oh, please. You two are just chicken, that's all. You just don't want to get caught."

"It's not that, Bobby," Linda returned, in an uncharacteristically calm tone. "It would be fine if we were just sneaking out normally, but....."

"Listen, it's not our parents that we're worried about. It's being tracked by Nilock," Joey added evenly.

"There is no way that some loony old warlock is going to find me, just because I'm going to Apparate somewhere!" Bobby exploded. "You two don't want to go? That's fine with me. Stay here, be cowards. I'm going, and you can't stop me."

"Bobby, you don't even like the Electric Piccolos," Linda pointed out. "If you're risking capture and defeat for Persephone....."

"I'm- I'm- nothing's going to happen to me!" he stammered. "I'm going, so I can get away from you two chickens. You've got to live a little, once in a while. I'm going out- I'll see you later." And with that, Bobby was gone.

Linda looked at Joey. "Great. Now what are we going to do?"

"Well, we're definitely not going to tell our parents," Joey responded. "That would be suicide right there. He'd kill us."

"True," Linda agreed. "But I'm definitely not going to sleep, knowing that he's out there. We really should follow him. It's raining cats and dogs out there."

"No!" Joey exclaimed vehemently. "That's even worse! I mean, he's actually got a better chance of survival if it's just him! It might go unnoticed, chalked up to coincidence. But if all three of us were to be spotted...."

"We'd all get killed," Linda finished. "Okay, I see your point. But what else are we going to do?"

"Well, what do we usually do on rainy nights when we're bored?"

"Um...." Linda looked deep in thought. "Watch cheesy movies?"

"Exactly!" Joey started back up the stairs. "And, if I'm not mistaken, it shouldn't be too hard for us to get out paws on a VCR and some tapes....."

Linda smiled. "Magic is definitely starting to have its advantages."

*

"Magic does have its advantages. You have to admit, after so many years, it's nice to be back in the wizarding world." Lavender Weasley poured herself a cup of tea.

"Like you didn't use magic before, Lav. Don't deny it," Ginny Malfoy said pointedly. "How else did you pull off three bar mitzvahs and two weddings in the same week?"

"Maybe she's just talented," Ron Weasley told his sister. "She's an exceptionally good cook."

"But terrible at organization," put in Hermione Potter. "Really, Lavender, you've managed to misplace everything possible."

"Including Bobby," chimed in Harry Potter. "That was an experience to remember."

"I didn't even think that was possible, until she left him in Nordstrom's." Draco Malfoy took another long sip of coffee. "Poor kid."

"Poor kid my ass!" Lavender exclaimed. "He was getting all the attention from all the salesclerks. They gave him so many lollipops, he got a cavity."

"He was six, Lavender. Six!" Ron rolled his eyes. "Leave it to my wife to forget our six-year-old son in Nordstrom's while she tried on boots."

"Well, I eventually remembered him, didn't I?" Lavender inquired indignantly.

"Yeah." Hermione snickered. "After you had already moved onto Bed, Bath, and Beyond."

Lavender sniffed. "You were with me! Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I was spending all my time trying to get Linda out of the little girls' clothing department," Hermione retorted. "Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen any girl so fussy about the style of her play clothes....."

"Glad I wasn't along on that one," Ginny remarked. "Joey would have run off with him."

"Especially if one of the clerks had struck his fancy." Draco dodged the pillow that his wife had sent at him. "What? It's true! He's been charming- rather, trying to charm- girls since birth."

"Speaking of that, Ron," Lavender said, grateful for the change of subject, "did you notice how Bobby was looking at Neville's daughter? The Divinator?"

"How could you not? His ears turned the color of his hair," Ron concurred.

"Must be a family trait," remarked Harry. "You do the same exact thing."

"No, I don't," Ron responded indignantly, although nods were going around the circle.

"Yes, you do," Lavender disagreed. "I can prove it." With that, she leaned in and started whispering in his ear. True to form, Ron's ears turned crimson.

"Uh- um- we'll see you later," he managed quickly, dragging a hysterically convulsing Lavender out of the room.

"Guess she proved that point," Ginny remarked, yawning. "Come on, Malfoy. Maybe we can fall asleep before Animal Planet comes on." She pulled herself out of an armchair.

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked, following her out of the room. "Oh....I get it..... you have such a....."

"Ginny does come up with the strangest analogies," Harry commented, leaning back on the couch.

"Agreed." Hermione yawned, settling against his chest. "Do you realize just how long we've been up? Almost thirty-six consecutive hours."

"Always the statistician, eh, Herm?" He closed his eyes, and rested his head on hers.

"Of course. Who else is going to do it?" She, too, closed her eyes.

"You're not the only one that can keep track of things, you know." He pulled her closer.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" She blinked her eyes open.

"You have to guess."

"All right. What?" She moved her hands around to the back of his neck.

"Umm..... four thousand, eight hundred and seventy-two," he replied mischievously.

"I have no idea." She pulled his face down to hers, and kissed him.

He laughed, and pulled away slightly. "You just messed that one up, Herm. Now it's four thousand, eight hundred and seventy-three."

"You made that up."

"You're right. I wanted to see if you'd notice."

"Of course I noticed- it's got to be a lot more than that."

"Definitely," he replied, as their lips met again.

*