An Unlikely Coven

*

The occupants of the room waited with bated breath as they heard the footsteps come closer. Thumpa-thumpa-thumpa-

"Wait a moment," Harry Potter said suddenly. He strode over to the door of Dumbledore's office, and pressed an ear to it. "Kaites, your sister must be a very strapping girl, because it sounds as if there's more than just one pair of feet coming down this hallway." He turned and walked back to his position between Hermione and Linda.

"It very well could be her alone. You see," Kaites Patil began, "my sister has recently taken to wearing one thing, and one thing only on her feet, and that's-"

The door swung open.

"Combat boots, Pavarti, COMBAT BOOTS!" came an enraged male voice. "Our daughter has worn nothing but combat boots ever since I allowed you to come here!"

"Freedom of expression," Pavarti Patil retorted, as she waltzed through the door.

"I suppose it was not just her, then," Kaites muttered unhappily. "Hello, Mother."

Linda Potter had a knack for accurately pegging people right off the bat, and to her, Pavarti Patil looked more than a little flaky. Decked out in Hawaiian-patterned capri pants and a beige halter top, this woman looked more like a rebellious Hogwarts student than a professor. Bronze bangle bracelets danced up one too-tanned arm, and a snake cuff wound down the other. Her hair was messily pulled into a French twist, and had the unmistakable nonluster of too many hours spent drenched in peroxide. Henna tattoos were visible on her feet, which were perched in platform sandals that even five-foot-tall Linda wouldn't dream of wearing.

"Yes, Father, what in the bloody hell is wrong with me dressing the way I like?" A tall, thin girl traipsed in after her mother. This, obviously, was Persephone.

"What's wrong with it? What's WRONG with it? You look like a soldier who's gotten off at the wrong base!" The man (whom Linda was guessing was Persephone and Kaites's father) was still outside the door, and irritated.

Looking at Persephone, Linda could see why her father would be more than a little peeved at her style. A skimpy green tank top just barely covered her midriff, to meet a camouflage-patterned piece of fabric that just passed for a skirt. On her feet were the aforementioned combat boots, and atop her head was a green bandanna. She bore a resemblance to Kaites, but not much. This girl had the same dirty-blond hair, but it was straight and blunt-cut at her chin. She also lacked Kaites's lilting French accent; her voice and vernacular reminded Linda of her mother watching The Godfather with a bad head cold.

"Father, there's nothing objectionable about my clothing!" Persephone protested.

Kaites sniffed. "Would you like to make a bet?"

Persephone whirled around to face her twin. "Just because you're all perfect and prudish....."

"All right, girls, there's no need to fight." Pavarti stepped in between her two daughters. "Now, if your father would just get in here....." she said pointedly.

"Pavarti, we have one daughter that refuses to speak to me in English, and another daughter that now looks like she walked out of a bad American television show." Neville Longbottom entered the room, and sat down in a vacant chair. "For God's sake, I think there's a problem here."

For the second time that day, an entrance by Neville was met with shock and disbelief.

"What are you all looking at?" he demanded. "What? What?"

"Um, Neville, you never mentioned anything about daughters....." replied Hermione.

"Or Pavarti," put in Lavender.

"Oh, dears!" Pavarti spun around. "How lovely to see you, after all this time! We have so much to catch up on!"

"She hasn't seen us in nearly twenty years, after we disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and all the woman can say is that we have a lot to catch up on?" Hermione whispered to Harry incredulously.

"Hon, Pavarti never really did have much going on in her head," he whispered back.

"As for Neville over here, he's just embarrassed to admit that, at one point in time, he was actually married to me." Pavarti said airily as she pulled a nail file out of her purse.

"'Was' being the indicative word," Neville responded dryly. "It was two years of pure hell, believe me."

"Oh, do allow me to do the honors." Pavarti continued sawing away at her fingernails while she spoke. "After graduation, when you-all had up and inexplicably left, Neville and I were pretty damned confused. Of course, Professor Dumbledore here explained it all to me a few weeks ago. Bit funny of a situation, this is! Anyway, see, we spent so much time together, puzzling over your strange disappearance, that we.....ah.....well, one thing led to another....."

"I'll spare you the painful details," Neville cut in. "Let's just say that it involved a boat, a plane, an Elvis impersonator, and a very empty bottle of tequila."

"We got married, let's see, about sixteen years ago," Pavarti said thoughtfully. "And then, of course, we had Kaites and Persephone. Lovely girls, lovely." She glanced over at the two girls.

Unfortunately, Persephone had chosen that moment to snap her gum loudly, and Kaites had rolled her eyes back into her head.

Unabashed, Pavarti continued. "However, we really started realizing that....."

"We couldn't stand each other." Neville sighed. "I got Perri and stayed in England, while Ti took Kaites and globe-trotted."

"Never to hear from each other again, until it came time for admissions to Hogwarts." Pavarti put away the nail file, and pulled out a powder compact. "Of course, it would have been a bit hard to hide it all from the girls, what with their appearance and all, so we finally leaked it out then."

"As if that didn't scar me for life," Persephone grumbled. "You weren't exactly prompt, either."

"No one bothered to tell me that my twin sister was Persephone until the Christmas holidays," Kaites chimed in. "Bit disturbing, that was."

"All of a sudden, the prissy princess who I shared a dorm with was my twin sister." Persephone made a face. "And would you mind not calling me by my full name? I swear to God, what the hell were you two smoking when you named us?"

"Marie-Kaitrine Dominique Patil and Persephone Rosaline Longbottom. Really, could we get any stranger?" Kaites tapped her foot on the floor.

"Honestly, no." Persephone didn't even wait for her parents to give an answer.

"So, about five years ago, we started to switch custody," Pavarti explained. "Neville had them during the school year, what with his post here and all, and I had them during the summer. In theory. Of course, that didn't work.....every single summer, Perri's come running back here by the beginning of August."

"Mother, I hate bloody France!" Persephone complained. "I can't speak the language, and they all look at me as if I'm some sort of daft wanker!"

"It's because you're an ungrateful wretch," Kaites shot out. "Anyone else would be thrilled to spend the holidays in Paris! Anyone except you, that is!"

"Ungrateful wretch? Ungrateful wretch? You won't even speak to Father in English, and I'm the ungrateful wretch?" Persephone stomped a boot to the floor.

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist," Kaites sniffed. "He needs the practice."

"Kaites, dear, what is she talking about?" Pavarti snapped the compact shut.

Neville sighed loudly. "Oh, nothing, Ti, only that since you left, the girl won't say anything to me that I find comprehensible!"

"Kaites, what did I tell you about that? He hasn't done anything to you, for the love of God....."

"Mother, I hate staying here!" Kaites exclaimed. "It's so dry and boring."

"Is that my fault?" Neville leaped from his chair.

Kaites looked thoughtful. "Actually, only half of it is, Father."

"Oh my sweet Jesus, she's actually conversing with him," Persephone muttered.

Kaites glared at her twin. "It's half your fault, Father, for hiring Mother to teach here. The rest is Perri's; if she hadn't gone and run off every damn summer, there wouldn't be a problem!"

"This is like The Parent Trap gone terribly, terribly wrong," Bobby whispered to Linda.

"Dammit, Kaites, she was the only one who applied for the job!" Neville sat back down. "What was I supposed to do, turn her down? Do you know how bad that would look?"

"Oh, so you only hired me to save your own reputation?" Pavarti almost dropped her mascara wand. "The sorry reputation that you are forever complaining was wrecked by me?"

Neville scoffed. "Of course not, you inept airhead." He ducked, to avoid the tube of mascara that Pavarti had flung at him.

"How dare you! How dare you!" Pavarti's eyes were blazing.

"Forget it! Just forget it!" Neville stalked out, grumbling to himself.

"Oh no you don't! You don't just walk away like that!" Pavarti jumped out of the chair, retrieved her mascara, and followed him.

Persephone shrugged. "Ladies and gentlemen, that was the Deputy Headmaster and Divination professor of Hogwarts."

Dumbledore, far from alienated, looked rather amused. "Ah, I can only be thankful that Pavarti did not enchant her handbag this time."

Kaites groaned. "Third year. Winter holidays, slight mix-up over where we were staying. Father walked around for three weeks with various eyeliners and lipsticks bouncing off the back of his head."

"His bald spot rather resembled Mother after she's had a lot to drink," Persephone giggled. "I can hardly wait to see what will happen this year."

"Ah, Miss Longbottom, I don't believe you've been properly introduced to the newcomers." Dumbledore gestured around the room.

"Oh, I need no introductions!" Persephone exclaimed.

"The girl is an excellent Divinator, much to Father's dismay," Kaites added. "Myself, I prefer Charms. But she's got an uncanny gift."

Persephone glanced at her sister. "Thanks. I think that's the first nice thing you've said to me all holiday."

"Well, seeing Mother and Father in a tiff always amuses me." Kaites crossed her arms. "Go on, show them what you've got."

"All right, then." Persephone began to pace. "Mind you, these statements aren't made without prior knowledge. Professor was kind enough to fill me in on a bit this morning."

"I think you'll find," Dumbledore interjected, "that Miss Longbottom ans Miss Patil will be of great help to you. Persephone is the best Divinator Hogwarts has ever seen, and Kaites's charm work rivals that of your mother's, Harry."

"You flatter me, Professor." Persephone's boots stopped their back-and-forth ritual, in front of Lavender. "All right..... Lavender Brown Weasley, I presume? You were always a bit good with Potions.....I suspect you're now working as a chemist, or something else involving concoctions."

"Catering," Lavender responded, with a smile.

"Ooh, even better. Edible concoctions." Persephone moved a bit, halting by Ron. "Ah, Ronald Weasley! Judgment made by coloring, of course. Famous, really.....got a bit of a temper, haven't you?"

Ron suppressed a laugh. "Miss Longbottom, you sound like the Sorting Hat." He pointed at a shelf.

"Yes, that thing. Wanted to put me in Hufflepuff, mind you. Has something against Divinators, I tell you!" She walked over to Bobby. "Robert Weasley. Got your father's temper, and a smidge of a sarcastic streak in there. I can feel that. Keep it in check, and you'll go far. Trust me."

"That's what the guidance counselor told me, when I got called in for MiSTing someone's particularly horrible English essay." Bobby rolled his eyes. "I was the only one who'd say how bad it was!"

"I don't hold much stock in them myself. At my old Muggle school, they told me I would be a terrific teacher. Shows how much they know." Persephone fixed her gaze on Ginny. "Ginny Weasley Malfoy, another Divinator, like myself! You keep it in practice, I can tell."

"She reads tea leaves and palms," Draco commented. "Most accurate fortune-teller in Boston."

Persephone turned. "Draco Malfoy. Judging from your rather.....illustrious past, I'd go as far as to call you 'the psychologist's nightmare'. A switch in magic practice is evident, black to white, sometime in your teens?" She phrased it like a question.

Draco nodded. "A switch in practices, but not a switch in beliefs. I never really wanted to be a Dark wizard."

"Of course. There's nothing indicating evil." Persephone smiled at Joey. "Joseph Malfoy! How interesting! There's a great deal of talent and intelligence.....but it's hidden, somewhere."

Linda snorted. "Hidden deep, all right."

Persephone took a step towards Linda. "Speaking of talent, Linda Potter, you've got plenty. Talent, power, wit, intelligence- it's all here, and in extraordinarily great amounts. However, there's a touch of belligerence and cynicism. Comes from having overworked those same four elements. Give yourself a break sometimes, Linda."

"I don't think the word break is in Linda's vocabulary," Bobby joked.

"Ah, I can see almost identical traits in you, Hermione," Persephone commented, turning to Hermione. "Extreme drive for success, talent, intelligence- yes, yes. Can certainly see where she gets it. And," she said with a flourish, "if it's not evident in Hermione Potter, it's come from Harry Potter. Yes, the talent, the power, can see that. Even seems to have gotten your scar, hasn't she?" She peered at Linda's hockey injury. "And that little bit of a troublemaker..... no doubt about it, your daughter, all around."

Dumbledore nodded. "Excellent, Persephone. Up to your usual standards."

Persephone bowed. "Thank you, thank you."

"Now, down to business." Dumbledore sat back down at his desk. "Let's see here..... a letter from Minerva. She and Remus will be arriving at the castle sometime this summer, at least. Wishes us all luck, which if I may be frank, we're going to need." His expression turned serious.

"I certainly hope that you understand the challenges of this operation," he said sternly, looking at Linda, Bobby, and Joey. "It's no light matter. Quite the contrary, in fact. You will need to train rigorously, in preparation for your eventual battle with Nilock. Yes, I do believe it will come down to that. However," he added, seeing their stricken expressions, "I have nothing but utter faith in you. Besides the powers of the former Lord Voldemort, of course, he has only the powers of some dead Dark wizards and the backing of a few more. While it may not have hit you yet, you three combined have ten times his strength, and, in theory, the backing of the entire Light Side. The trick to it is, we must harness your power. At the moment, you would be next to useless. The talent is there, but the training is not. You don't know how to properly use it. That is why you are here."

He settled back in his chair, and crossed his arms. "You all are extremely strong, all-around. But, as is the case with all wizards, you have certain strong points and weaknesses. It's usually fairly evident as to what you're suited to. Miss Longbottom, would you come forward a moment? Oh, and Miss Patil, please bring the Sorting Hat."

Persephone and Kaites obliged.

"Yes, thank you. Now," he said, turning to the Americans once again, "before you is the Hogwarts Sorting Hat. Every September, the first year students place this on their heads to discover what house they're best suited for. This time, though, we aren't using the hat to Sort you, per se, we're using it to find out your strengths and weaknesses. Linda, would you put on the hat?"

Linda stepped forward to pick up the battered old hat, and placed it on her head.

For a few moments, there wasn't a sound. Then.....

"Finally, another Potter! Been a long time waiting for you, Miss Linda!" she heard a voice whisper. "Of course, I can tell that I'm not to Sort you right now. You're considerably older than the average first year, there's got to be another purpose..... perfect for Gryffindor, though." The hat's voice rose a twinge when saying the name of the house. "Very talented, though lacking a bit in logic..... Potions probably won't be your best subject. There's a lot of bravery, obviously- look at your lineage! And all this power- a natural for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Transfiguration."

Assuming she was finished, Linda plucked the hat off her head.

"Well?" Dumbledore asked expectantly. Linda opened her mouth to answer, but Persephone got there first.

"Let me guess. Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, correct?"

"Well, yes." Linda shook out her hair. "It also said something about being a Gryffindor."

"Well, that's to be expected," Harry interjected. "There's nothing indicating for her to be put elsewhere!"

"Not sneaky, not ditzy, nor too serious," added Hermione. "Well, you are a workaholic, I'll give you that, but you get into too much trouble."

Linda sighed. "Thanks, Ma..... I guess. It also said that I wouldn't be especially good at Potions."

"Linda, no one was ever good at Potions, except Draco. Oh, and Lavender," Harry reassured her. "By the way, Professor Dumbledore, who-"

"Still Snape, Harry." Dumbledore obviously had seen that coming.

Linda could have sworn that she'd heard a muttered curse from her mother.....

"Bobby?" Dumbledore beckoned him forward.

"All right, then!" Bobby happily plopped the hat on his head. Whispering could be heard, and then, a loud 'GRYFFINDOR', then more whispering. Finally, Bobby took the hat off.

"What did it say?" his father asked.

"Well.....Persephone, would you like to do the honors?" Bobby inquired, smiling at the girl.

"Uh-oh," Joey murmured to Linda. "We know what that look means."

"Yes," Linda agreed, "we do." They were, of course, referring to the goofy smile on Bobby's face, accompanied by his reddened ears. This happened every single time he noticed a girl, meaning at least twice a day.

"Shall we warn him?" Joey asked quietly.

"No, let's not. See if we're the only ones that notice."

".....well, obviously, Gryffindor," Persephone was saying. "I'm supposing Astronomy, and Ancient Runes, with a detriment in Arithmancy. By the way, you can call me Perri."

"Well, all right then, I suppose I will." Bobby's ears were crimson by now.

"Ooooh...." Linda and Joey muttered simultaneously. Luckily, no one heard besides Bobby, who fixed them both with a dirty look.

Without waiting for instructions, Joey put the hat on. "May as well get it over with," he explained.

The hat seemed to take a long time with Joey. It could be heard whispering audibly, what seemed to be, "Slytherin, or Gryffindor? Slytherin, or Gryffindor?" Finally, it shouted the latter, and went back to murmuring.

Eventually, Joey placed the hat back on the shelf. "It kept talking about how one side of my lineage demanded one house, while the other contradicted."

"Joey," Draco began slowly, "I think this is the first time in the history of Hogwarts that a Malfoy hasn't been in Slytherin."

"You aren't angry, Dad, are you?" Joey's face showed an unusual worriedness.

Draco relaxed a bit. "No, no! Of course I'm not angry! To tell the truth, I'm a bit relieved. Slytherin House has a reputation for turning out Dark Wizards more than anything. The last thing we want is for you to be corrupted."

"Well, Draco Malfoy," Ginny teased. "Who would have thought that those words would ever come from you."

"Well," Draco said hesitantly, "things change. A lot."

"Obviously." Ginny paused. "Draco Malfoy, disreputing Slytherin....."

"Anyway," Joey said quickly, before Persephone could respond, "it said I'd be good at Potions and Herbology, and a little bad at Ancient Runes."

"Well, you get good marks in biology and chemistry, and you suck at foreign languages," Linda pointed out. "Not surprising."

"And you suck at chemistry," Joey retorted.

"All right, all right." Bobby cut in. "Before this blows up into one of your infamous 'I'm smarter than you are- oh no you're not' arguments, how's about we finish up here?"

"Well said, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore added. "Now, you shall begin your training tomorrow morning, nine o'clock. I suggest you get a decent night's sleep- you're going to need it. Your parents can lead you to Gryffindor Tower, which is where you three will be lodging for the time being." He nodded at the adults. "As I said before, you'll be staying in the Ravenclaw wing. When you reach your rooms, I daresay you'll find some pleasant surprises.....your personal belongings, perhaps?"

"A few quick Apparation spells, some fast charms, and we were able to move your stuff trans-Atlantic in a matter of a few minutes," Hermione explained. "Come along, let's move."

The troupe of new arrivals exited, followed by Kaites and Persephone.

"Well, Perri, can't say you did bad," Kaites commented, as they walked down the hall.

"Thanks. Maybe next time, though, you can be the show-off." Persephone shrugged.

"And what am I supposed to do, make the desks dance? I doubt that'll be of much help."

"Well, you could be of help in other areas."

"For instance?" Kaites looked puzzled.

"Well, you could help that poor Bobby Weasley fellow." Persephone looked mischievous.

"And how would I do that?"

"Enchant me, so that when he looks at me, he sees something else. Like something unpleasant. I tell you, I was embarrassed for him, with those bright red ears and all....." Persephone giggled. "He is a bit charming, though."

"Oh, you!" They separated from the pack, turning into their suite.

*