An Unlikely Coven

*

Ollivanders had gone still. No movement, no speech; the adults were shocked. The unexpected visitor had taken them all by surprise. After all, this was the absolute last person anyone had expected to see on this trip.

Stepping out of the fireplace, the newcomer brushed soot off his robes. "Why so surprised? You know who I am, I know who you are, and we all know what you've been hiding from. There's no need for those silly appearance-changing spells."

Hermione Potter regained her composure. "Yes, we certainly do, but, just why are you here?" She then muttered a few well-chosen words, and the group returned to their original selves. (Bobby Weasley let out a sigh of relief that his hair no longer bore a resemblance to asparagus.) "It's surely not on behalf of Nilock- you'd never do that."

"Of course not. As the assistant headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus often sends me to do errands for him when he is unable to." The man paused, looking pleased at the surprise registering on the faces of those in front of him. "As he is in a conference at the moment, I was dispatched- after all, it is summer, there are no classes in session. And this is, as I'm sure you're aware, a matter of the utmost importance."

Ron Weasley raised an eyebrow. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you, of all people, have managed to become the assistant headmaster of Hogwarts? What about Snape and Trelawney and all the other teachers?"

Neville Longbottom puffed his chest out. "Yes, Ron. That is correct. Is it completely unfathomable to you that I might possess the intelligence and talent to do so? As for Severus, Sibyll, and the others, they were a tad bitter when Albus made his announcement. However, they were exceedingly eager to see how Neville Longbottom- clumsy, untalented, slow Neville Longbottom, only a teacher for ten years- would fare as the assistant headmaster. I believe that they took bets on how long I would last before tearing my hair out." He self-consciously passed a hand over a bald spot. "But, I surpassed all expectations, and have held this position for five years now."

"Are we sure that this is Neville? It sure doesn't sound like Neville," Harry Potter murmured.

"I could just as easily say the same about you," Neville returned. "Twenty years is a long time, Harry. But- I'd recognize you anywhere. What with that scar and all."

"Jesus, things have changed," Lavender Weasley commented. "Who'd have thought- Neville, the assistant headmaster."

"Things change. It usually holds true in the Muggle world that clumsy, uncoordinated high school students perform rather differently when they enter college. That is precisely what happened." He adjusted his glasses- another signal of two decades' passage- and peered at the three unfamiliar faces. "And speaking of high school students, I'm assuming that these are the three in question."

Linda Potter, Joey Malfoy, and Bobby Weasley all nodded quickly. For once, they were stunned into silence.

"It's a miracle," Draco Malfoy observed. "For once, none of them have anything to say."

"Oh, we have things to say, Dad," Joey replied darkly. "There are just so many that we can't find the appropriate way to communicate them."

"So, Neville, enlighten us." Ginny Malfoy fiddled with her watch. "What matter was so urgent that Dumbledore saw it fit to send you to get us?"

"How did you know we'd be here?" Ron demanded suddenly. "It's bad enough, worrying that the Dark Forces are going to track us down- are you tailing us, too?"

Neville leaned up against the wall. "Ron, I'll answer your question first; I'd have to explain it anyway. See, Albus knew that, after you received the owl post, you'd probably take action right away. He had a feeling that you'd probably be in Diagon Alley within twenty-four hours. Of course, you have to go to Ollivanders for wands, the most important piece of magical equipment. So, he notified Mr. Ollivander ahead of time, to stay on the lookout for six adults and three American teenagers, all of whom would most likely be under the appearance-changing spell. You may not know this, but those under the spell exhibit a certain degree of discomfort in a form other than their own. He, in turn, called the castle- which recently got Muggle telephones, so that the Muggle-born students could communicate with their parents in a more conventional manner- to let us know."

"Ah," Ron said, understanding. "Telephones at Hogwarts- things have changed, haven't they?"

"Wait until you see the new Quidditch court. Everything's state of the art, titanium goalposts, faster Bludgers, you name it. Anyway," Neville said, changing the subject rapidly, "Albus thought it best that the kids do their training at Hogwarts, where they can be taught not only by their parents, but a highly qualified staff of professors. It's summer, and the teachers are getting restless- there's only so much to do, you know? We live there, year-round, and it does get rather tedious."

"How could life at Hogwarts ever be anything but strange?" Harry inquired. "It's hard to imagine tedium in that castle."

Neville groaned. "Well, it's always strange, what with the occupants. And I don't mean the ghosts, really. Well, Peeves is still around, making a pest of himself, as always."

"Well, who else is there, besides the teachers and the ghosts?" Hermione wondered.

"You'll see eventually," Neville responded reluctantly. "It's rather hard to explain.....anyway, it's your decision. You'd have to stay for the remainder of the summer, I believe. If you wouldn't mind....."

"Of course we'll do it, Neville," Harry said quickly, speaking for the nodding group. "If you three would care to....." he added, looking at Linda, Bobby, and Joey.

"Yes! of course!" Linda blurted out. "I can't wait to see what a magical castle looks like."

"It's a school, Linda," Bobby reminded her exasperatedly.

"Well, duh, what did you think I thought it was, a frickin' bowling alley? Ass." Linda rolled her eyes.

"LINDA!"

"Okay, okay, Ma, I get it! It's a frickin' habit!" Linda complained. "And where do you think I picked it up from, anyway? Here's a hint- it wasn't at school."

"A school is a school, and that's that," Joey finished. "Of course, leave it to Linda to get excited about school."

"And that, my friend, is why I get A's, and you don't," Linda retorted haughtily.

"Oh, please. You may get good grades, but is there any common sense in there? Any logic?" Joey knocked on the side of her head. "Who's the one that always panics at the drop of a hat?"

"Oh, please," Linda sneered. "I have just as much common sense as either of you two do. Which really, however, isn't saying much."

"Exactly," Bobby said triumphantly, both he and Joey missing the backhanded insult.

"It's okay, Linda. Your mother is the same exact way," Harry reminded her gently, smiling. Hermione whacked him with her purse.

"That hurt!" Harry put on a mock show of pain, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his fists.

"You are such a dork," she muttered, placing her hand on the spot where she'd hit him. "I didn't even touch you." She let him rest his head on her shoulder.

"Anyway.....moving on....." Draco said impatiently, "when are we going to do this? Going back to Hogwarts, I mean?"

"Right now," Neville replied. "I told Albus I'd return with you shortly."

"But how?" Lavender inquired. "We can't Apparate, or go by Floo Powder- Nilock's spies will surely notice that."

Neville snapped his fingers. "That's what these are for," he said, as five broomsticks appeared in his hand.

"Brooms? You've got to be kidding me," Bobby said, putting a hand to his head.

"They're a very important means of travel in this world, my boy," Ron explained. "Sports, too."

"Asteroid 270's," Neville said. "The latest model, can go two hundred seventy miles an hour. Of course, no broom has ever been better than the limited edition Firebolts, as I'm sure you know, Harry."

Harry nodded. "They were only made for two years, to increase the value. Best broom ever made. I still have it, somewhere."

"I think it's in the basement, dear," Hermione put in. "Linda and I found a lot of old junk when we were looking for her rollerblades last week."

"No wonder you screeched at me when I tried to sweep the floor with it!" Linda realized. "Hey, while we're at it, was there any other funny stuff down there? What about those weird bath towels?"

"They aren't bath towels. They're robes, everyone in the wizarding world wears them," Hermione said, smiling. "And you remember those books? Programming Motherboards, Calculus: An Integrated Approach, The Beginner's Guide to Sociology?"

"Yeah?"

"Fake covers. They're spellbooks, which is why we never let you read them." Hermione sighed. "Plus, I was a little worried about you. What eight-year-old would beg their parents to let them read a book like Data Processing and Its Common Uses?"

"Yeah, Linda. You were such a weird child," Joey added. "When me and Bobby were playing football, you were sitting on the porch reading the biography of Millard Fillmore."

Everyone snickered at this memory, except Linda.

"All right, let's get moving," Lavender said. She looked at the five brooms in Neville's hands. "Why only five?"

"New regulations, passed by the Ministry last year," Neville replied. "You can't make more than 5 brooms Apparate from one place to another in a forty-eight hour period. Transportation bylaws or something like that."

"How do those things work?" Bobby asked, pointing.

"You sit on it, and you steer," Ron responded. "It's not that difficult."

"Okay, let's see," said Draco, taking the brooms from Neville, "how are we going to divvy these up?"

Ginny turned to Linda, her son, and her nephew. "Do you three think that you can handle flying one?"

All eyes went wide. "WHAT?"

Harry laughed. "Try it. The ceiling's high enough. Although that hole Joey made in it might have come in handy."

Joey nodded sheepishly.

Linda cautiously stepped forward. "Um, okay....." Draco tossed her a broom, but it slipped out of her hands.

"Uh-oh!" she exclaimed, but the broomstick hadn't fallen to the floor; rather, it was suspended in midair, at the perfect height for mounting.

"Wow," Hermione said, obviously impressed. "A natural."

Nervously, Linda sat on the handle. "I don't know how you expect me to do this. I was a terrible horseback rider," she said, grasping the handle tightly.

"You just didn't like the smell, Lin. Trust me, you'll be fine. I'll catch you if you fall," Harry promised. "Which I doubt you will," he added quickly, seeing the expression of terror on her face at the work 'fall'.

"Okay, here goes nothing." Linda tilted the handle upwards, and felt herself being lifted into the air, slowly at first, but then gradually speeding up.

"Whoa....." Linda felt like she was on a Ferris wheel.

However, when you're on a Ferris wheel, no matter how scared you get, you always have that reassurance that there's a hundred tons of steel holding you up. That's not an option- I'm on half a pound of wood and straw, she thought.

"Try turning!" she heard from below. Linda turned the handle to her left, and, amazingly, felt the broomstick obey her command. "Whee!" she said, as she went in a circle. Suddenly, she felt a wave of confidence come over her.

I can do this. I'm not going to fall, and if I do, Dad will catch me. Nothing bad can happen to me.

Overcome with bravery, almost possessed, Linda brought the broom into a swoop downward. She heard gasps as she approached the ground.

Oh my God, this is exhilarating.....

She pulled the broom upwards at the last second, and once again went sailing in the air. She could have sworn that the ends of her hair had brushed the planks. Returning to a high altitude, she started doing loop-de-loops.

"Not bad," said an applauding Ron, on the floor below.

"Not bad? What, are you kidding? The kid's a natural," Harry replied, beaming with pride. "That was fantastic, Lin!" he called.

"Thanks, Dad!" Linda yelled back, as she pulled the broom into a backflip.

Neville looked impatiently at his watch. "You know, we really should get going....."

"All right, I'm coming down." Linda floated back to solid ground. Stepping off the broom, she said, "That was incredible! The most crazy feeling!"

"Glad you like that," Harry said, patting her on the back. "You're going to be an incredible Quidditch player."

"A what?" Linda's eyebrows went up to her hairline.

"Never mind, sweetie, I'll explain it later."

"All right," said Draco, as he distributed the remaining four brooms. "You three can have one broom- why are you looking at me like that? It's a big broom, and none of you are exactly sumo wrestlers," he assured Linda, Bobby, and Joey, all of whom were looking skeptical. "Trust me, okay? Harry, Herm, there's one for you, Ron, Lav, here you go, Neville, you've got one, and one for Ginny and myself. There we go, all set, let's blow this popsicle stand."

Mr. Ollivander, who had been extraordinarily quiet through the whole process, looked at Draco reproachfully.

"I assure you, Mr. Malfoy, this is a wand shop, not a children's hangout!"

*

"This feels so weird."

"Don't worry, that funny feeling in your legs goes away after a while," Harry replied.

Hermione sighed. "No, that's not what I mean. Although I'm not exactly crazy about being this high up in the air, on a broom, when you haven't flown in twenty years," she said, tightening her arms around his waist. "I feel like we could crash into a tree at any second."

"We could." He turned his head, and smirked wickedly.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, KEEP YOUR HEAD TURNED THAT WAY!" Hermione screeched, digging her nails in.

Harry quickly turned back around. "All right, all right! I can see that broom travel with you is going to be exactly like car travel with you."

Hermione sniffed. "You have a terrible habit of not focusing on the road. It makes me nervous."

"Well, I get distracted easily," he replied, smiling.

"And what, may I ask, is just so interesting that you have to take your eyes off the important things?"

"Even when I'm distracted, my eyes are on the important things," he said, shifting on the broom. "It's a habit I picked up, learning to drive. Remember the major distraction that I took Driver's Ed with?"

"Harry, you took Driver's Ed with....." Hermione trailed off, comprehending. "Ohh....."

"Remember that? How we finally got so sick of the MTA that we decided to learn how to drive?"

"I'll never forget that. Some of the most terrifying moments of my life happened behind the wheel of that Ford Taurus." Hermione shuddered. "Notice how, to this day, I still refuse to drive one."

"And some of the best, I hope." Harry took one hand off the broom, and placed it over Hermione's.

"Yeah....." She didn't bother to reprimand him; she just rested her head against his back, contented.

"You were saying....." Harry prompted her.

"Oh, yeah," Hermione said, dazedly. "Just how weird it's going to be, back at Hogwarts after all these years away. Imagine."

"Yeah. When you really think about it, almost everything important to us- all of us- happened while we were in that castle," Harry recalled.

"Well, almost everything." Hermione smiled to herself.

"Yeah- some things happened in.....Driver's Ed." Those three little words she said to me in total frustration.....

"A supermarket." Those four little words he said to me for the benefit of the audience.....

"Can't forget Gate 12B." When she said it that time, she meant it.

"Or Bellatoni's." Can't forget that 'special' cupcake.

"But," Harry said, "most of the important stuff happened at Hogwarts."

"Yeah.....you're right....."

"None of the other important things would have happened if it wasn't for Hogwarts." Harry closed his eyes momentarily.

"Oh, I don't know.....maybe it all still would have happened," Hermione replied mischievously. "All it would have taken would have been two people.....a chance meeting.....it would have happened eventually."

"Hermione, you're getting totally off track."

"I know."

*

"God, Linda, are you sure you're okay with this?" Joey asked worriedly, the wind blowing in his face.

"Relax, for the fiftieth time." Linda bit her lip, a sign of exasperation. "As long as you two goons don't keep talking to me and messing up my concentration, we won't fall, got it?"

"Why do I have to sit on the end of the broom?" Bobby whined. "Only about half my ass is on it!"

"Robert Weasley, don't you dare talk like that!" Lavender's voice echoed through the air.

"Uh-oh, I think my mom's giving your mom ideas," commented Linda.

Joey shifted uncomfortably. "I'd rather be on the end, Bobby. I'm squished in between you two, and Linda's hair keeps hitting me in the face."

Linda rolled her eyes. "Turn your head, smartass- I KNOW, MA!"

"Know what?" Hermione called back.

"Uh- nothing, Ma. Don't worry about it." Linda glanced over at her parents' broom. Obviously, they're a little preoccupied, she thought.

"Aw, how sweet. My parents are just so damn cute," she giggled. "It's so romantic."

"Uh-oh, Linda, your soft side is showing," Joey warned.

"Dude, snap out of it," Bobby said to Linda. "When you get like this, you walk around all starry-eyed and crap, and then you make us watch some sappy chick-flick with you. And I'm not exactly in the mood to watch While You Were Sleeping for the billionth time."

"It's a classic!" Linda protested. "Anyway, why would I ever want to watch movies with you two again, after what you did in the theater last weekend?" She looked pointedly at Bobby.

"Come on, Lin, it was crappy," Bobby tried to convince her. "That entire theater was wasting their money, watching that sorry excuse for a film. Jake Lloyd is not an action hero, and they shouldn't have put him in a movie like that. Hell, even making a action movie titled The Oregon Trail was a bad idea."

"We were just letting everyone in on our opinion," Joey agreed.

Linda scowled. "The management didn't exactly like your opinion, and they expressed that very clearly."

"What, you didn't want to stay and watch that, did you?" Bobby asked incredulously.

"Whatever." Linda refocused her attention on flying, and remained so, until.....

"We're approaching the castle!" Neville called. "Start your descent!"

Linda, Harry, Ron, and Draco obeyed; Linda haltingly so. "Okay, broom, mind slowing down a bit?" she muttered. Surprisingly, the broomstick obeyed.

"Wow, thanks." Linda could see green below; she was approaching what looked like a large, well-kept field, bordered by a large forest. It was bare, except for two things. She squinted, but couldn't make out the shapes.

"Ms. Magoo is at it again," Joey whispered.

As she landed the broom next to those of the adults, she saw what they were.

One was a lone tree, plopped in the middle of the green as if dropped from the sky. Strangely, it's branches were moving about violently.....but there was no wind. She could have sworn she heard a faint growl.

And what was the second thing? Linda waited for Bobby and Joey to dismount the broom, then pulled herself off. She turned her head, and shaded her eyes to get a better look at what was situated on the hill. Was it what she'd thought? It had to be; there was no doubt about it. This was.....

Neville cleared his throat. "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, straight ahead."

*