Utterly Parvati

Chapter Two: In which there is definitely something in the pumpkin juice

Parvati was beginning to notice something. For the most part she was a very oblivious sort of person except when it came to matters of a romantic or fashionable nature, in which case she was highly astute and perceptive in all situations (her own personal love life being the only exception).

It all started out quite innocently at breakfast. It had become part of Parvati's morning ritual to glance over at the Slytherin table before sitting down at her own; she and Draco would acknowledge each other's presence with a nod, which was their way of saying 'good morning', Parvati supposed. Only this morning when she looked up to catch the blond's eye, he was looking somewhere else. Or at someone else, rather.

Ginny Weasley was spreading strawberry jam onto her toast and didn't notice anything.

Huh, thought Parvati. Interesting. Veeeeerrrrry interesting...

But she wasn't sure what it all meant. You never knew with Draco. It could be the unrestrained, smouldering gaze of lust, or perhaps he was just silently planning Ginny's death.

When he finally spotted her, and tilted his head in a brief nod, she beamed back. If Draco was surprised, he certainly didn't show it. He'd certainly learnt by now, that kind of smile from her never meant anything good for him.

As it turned out, the day wasn't good for Parvati either. During Potions, she spent the majority of her time not watching Lisa Turpin flick her damn shiny, blonde hair in Harry's face, and ignoring Pansy and Draco smirking away at her like two stupid smirking...people.

'They'd make very pretty babies,' remarked Pansy gleefully.

'What?' cried Parvati, and knocked over a small jar of crushed mermaids' scales. The glass smashed on the stones at their feet, glittering like blue-green sand. 'Oh shit!'

Everyone turned to see what the commotion was all about; Pansy was screaming with laughter. Parvati wanted to hit her in the face with a ladle, honestly. Snape took points off Gryffindor and barked at them to clear it up.

'You know,' Pansy continued, as they fixed the jar and spelled the mess back inside it. 'Their kids would have big, green eyes, annoying high-pitched voices...cute.'

'Whatever,' snapped Parvati.

'Oh honey,' murmured Pansy. The endearment sounded wicked from her lips, reflected Parvati with only a little amusement. 'You Gryffindors are easier to read than a picture book. It's painful. But also very funny.'

'Bitch...'

That was when Cho Chang walked into the classroom. Pansy raised an eyebrow at Parvati, who then remarked, 'how fitting.'

Cho, Head Girl badge gleaming in the firelight of the cauldrons, made her way to the front of the class where she and Snape discussed something for several moments. Pansy and Parvati who were all the way across the dungeon couldn't quite catch their words but they both tried eavesdropping anyway.

'Patil, Malfoy,' snarled Snape after they'd finished talking, 'you both have to go and see the Headmaster.'

'So what's this all about?' asked Draco when they were out in the hallway, even though he couldn't care less.

'You'll find out,' said Cho, smiling back at both of them. 'It's going to be really exciting.'

'Bet it's not if you're involved,' he replied in a perfectly audible tone. Parvati tried hard not to snicker; any other person would have made that remark quietly to themselves, but not Draco.

Cho shrugged, and continued on as if she hadn't heard him.

There were other students waiting in the Headmaster's office and as Dumbledore urged them to all inside, Parvati recognised many of them: Terry Boot (whom Parvati liked very much because he always complimented her excellent choice of footwear) and Zacharias (whom Parvati didn't like very much), Ginny standing next to Ernie, and another seventh year Slytherin she'd yet to meet. She quickly realised that Ginny was the odd one out, a single sixth year amongst seniors but then there was no overlooking the obvious favouritism at their school...

'Welcome, welcome,' greeted Dumbledore warmly. 'So sorry to pull you out of your classes like this, I'm sure you're all very disappointed.'

Ernie laughed appreciatively then (Parvati wanted to roll her eyes so badly) and the Headmaster gave him a perplexed look.

'Do you find something amusing, Mr McMillan?'

'Uh...' he faltered. 'I-I thought you were joking, Sir.'

'Not at all,' said Dumbledore.

Ernie looked horribly embarrassed. Parvati was glad that she hadn't been the first person in the room to make a fool of themselves. It was probably some sort of record; Lavender would be proud.

'So why are we here, Professor?' asked Ginny curiously.

'Well, Ms Chang here has proposed a most brilliant idea,' explained Dumbledore.

Cho beamed her sparkling smile at all of them. She might as well walk around with a sign stuck to her forehead that read: SLAP ME, I KISS ASS. Parvati considered all the possible ways of attaching one to the back of Cho's robes without her realising...

'It's fantastic that you're already bringing new changes to the school, Cho,' said Ernie brightly, in a poor attempt to make up for his earlier blunder.

'Thank you, Ernie,' said Cho demurely.

'And we all get to hear all about these new changes; how wonderful!' said Zacharias, but Ernie missed the sarcasm and only smiled at him.

Parvati wondered if Zacharias was possibly the kind of person whom one had to spend more time with to get to like.

'Don't you, like, totally think so Parvati?' he asked, turning to her.

Unless more time meant until the end of eternity, Parvati reflected that she would never, ever learn to like him.

'Um, no,' Parvati retorted. Her wit tended to desert her at the times when it was most desperately needed.

'Mr Smith, are you quite finished?' Dumbledore enquired.

'Quite,' Zacharias affirmed.

'Good. Then we'll get to the point, shall we?'

'I think maybe we should hear a few more ever so entertaining witticisms from Mr Smith before getting to the point, Professor,' drawled Draco.

Parvati smirked. It was a very excellent smirk, because Zacharias glared at both of them and Parvati thought that they made a good sort of team, her and Draco.

Dumbledore was starting to look as if he'd regretted inviting them into his office.

'As I was saying...' he continued. 'Cho came to me with the excellent idea of starting an Inter-House Social Committee, and all of you have been specifically chosen to help further endorse relations between our four wonderfully unique houses.'

'So basically,' said Parvati, 'when we arrived at this school you split us all up so that we would live, eat, sleep and attend classes with the same group of people every year and now you suddenly want us all to bond and be one big happy family?'

'Yes that's exactly it, Miss Patil!' agreed Dumbledore happily.

'Oh,' said Parvati. 'I just wanted to make sure.'

'That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard,' sneered Draco, aghast. Parvati secretly wondered how many different emotions he was capable of conveying with all those sneers. Could one happily sneer, perhaps? 'Bond with Hufflepuffs? You've got to be joking.'

'There's two of us right here,' Zacharias pointed out.

'Don't remind me!' cried Draco.

Parvati also secretly wondered if Dumbledore had purposely chosen the most dysfunctional combination of students possible to promote this Inter-House Social Committee for his own twisted amusement. It really seemed like something he would do.

Zacharias folded his arms. 'Is this committee thing compulsory?'

Dumbledore coughed. 'Well, of course not but it's certainly a very high honour to have been singled out for this significant role-'

'Do we get badges?' asked Parvati.

'Uh,' said Dumbledore. 'Sure.'

'Pretty shiny badges? With pictures?'

'Er, that could be arranged, I suppose...'

'Yes!' cheered Parvati. 'I'm so in!'

'You're in what?'

'Sorry, I meant,' she corrected quickly, 'that I'm willing to actively participate and contribute my efforts towards promoting Inter-House unity within the school, Professor.'

'Excellent. And what about the rest of you?'

It turned out that no one dared refuse Dumbledore's request. Or they really wanted shiny badges, like Parvati.

When she told Lavender all about it, her friend only sighed. 'The weirdest things happen to you, Parvati.'

*

The next night Parvati discovered that her week was only going to get weirder when she awoke to the now familiar sound of stones hitting the window.

The boys apparently could not sleep.

'You girls want to play a game?' asked Seamus when Lavender leaned out to see what it was they wanted.

'A game?' cried Hermione. 'Are they insane?'

'You've only just noticed?' yawned Parvati.

'I want to play,' said Lavender. It always amazed Parvati how cheerful her best friend could be, even at a quarter to midnight. 'What game?'

'We've got school tomorrow,' Hermione pointed out.

'It'll be fun, I promise,' begged Ron.

They tried to wake up Delphi as well, but quickly stopped when she began screeching at them to leave her alone.

'Ouch! It bit me!' gasped Parvati, hurriedly retreating from Delphi's bedside.

'She, Parvati,' Lavender reminded.

'Do those look like human bite marks to you?'

'Oh, let's just hurry up!' snapped Hermione impatiently. 'The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back.'

'I don't mind,' shrugged Lavender. 'My dream was boring anyway.'

'Remind me to bite her back in the morning,' Parvati muttered as they tip-toed down the winding staircase.

The boys were sitting at a circular table in the centre of the dormitory, waiting for them.

'Did you steal this table from the Common Room?' asked Hermione disapprovingly.

'Yeah, we'll return it tomorrow, Miss Prefect,' said Seamus. 'Take a seat, ladies, make yourselves comfortable.'

Parvati sat down a little nervously between Dean and Neville. Directly opposite, Harry smiled at her in that 'my friends are crazy' way. Parvati was familiar with that look; she used it often when shopping out in public with Lavender. Honestly, the girl practically needed a leash wherever there was a sale on shoes.

Lavender propped her elbows on the table. 'So whose idea was this?'

'Mine.'

Parvati raised an eyebrow. 'Okay Dean, what are we playing?'

Dean, who was shuffling a pack of cards gave a swift smile. 'The name of the game,' he almost drawled, 'is Strip Poker.'

Hermione abruptly stood up. 'Oh n-no!' she stuttered. 'No no no-'

'It's a good thing we're all courageous Gryffindors here,' said Seamus casually.

Hermione sat back down in her chair, tight-lipped.

'Strip poker...' said Parvati wryly. 'I'm guessing that isn't just a comical name?'

'I always knew you were the smart one, Parvati,' winked Seamus.

'Seamus, you can stop talking like a sleazy git now,' said Harry.

'Sorry,' he apologised earnestly. 'It's easy to get carried away.'

'Alright, the rules.' Dean finished dealing out the cards. 'You lose a round, you lose an item of clothing. Who doesn't know how to play?'

Everyone else around the table raised their hands.

After three practice rounds though, they pretty much had the hang of the game. All of them except Neville, that is, who kept having to consult Dean every five seconds.

'What should I do now?'

'I don't think it matters much, Neville,' Harry laughed. 'You're wearing three times as much clothing as the rest of us.'

'That's unfair,' whined Parvati, glaring at Neville in his two jerseys, scarf and dragon-hide gloves.

'Something you want to see, Parvati?' laughed Dean.

Parvati laid down her hand. 'Yes, Dean, there is. I do believe I win which means you need to take off that shirt.'

'Fine,' chuckled Dean good-naturedly. 'I'll leave my socks on then, shall I?'

While Ron pulled off his hat, Lavender and Hermione discarded their dressing gowns and Harry kicked off a slipper.

'Do my glasses count?' he asked Dean.

'Sure, but if you can't see your cards you'll lose the next round anyway.'

Parvati wrinkled her nose. 'I've never seen you without your glasses before.'

She didn't realise it was an odd comment to make until the others stared at her with amused expressions.

Seamus clapped a hand to his mouth to stop himself from saying anything.

Three hands later and Seamus, Ron and Harry had also lost their shirts. Ron was, in fact, only in his boxers. Parvati was extremely concerned about Lavender's health, but was even more worried about her own lack of clothing. Having left her slippers back in the girls' dorm, she'd been forced to take off her dressing gown and pyjama set. The singlet top would have to go next, and she was not wearing anything underneath that.

Parvati bit her lip as Ron laid down a straight flush.

'That was close,' he breathed in relief.

Lavender looked as if she might cry from disappointment. Hermione glanced over at Parvati.

'We can stop now, if you want,' she said.

Sometimes, Parvati loved Hermione with all her heart. Fortunately, she didn't have a chance to end the game because Neville's head suddenly drooped onto her shoulder.

Parvati laughed. 'I think it's bed time.'

Seamus leant over and shook him. 'Wake up, mate.'

Neville didn't stir, so while the boys dragged him away, Parvati, Lavender and Hermione gathered their things and left.

'You shouldn't be so obvious,' said Lavender quietly as they climbed into bed.
'Obvious about what?' Parvati demanded.
'You were ogling Harry the whole time.'
Parvati was so shocked she couldn't formulate a response for a good few seconds. 'I was not!'
'Yes, you were.'
Parvati thought that was funny coming from the girl who'd spent a good half hour staring at Ron Weasley's chest and nothing else.
Oh, did she mention that it was funny? Because she actually meant Truly Stupid.
Anyway, what did Lavender know? She'd been too distracted by Ron to notice where Parvati had been looking. And it certainly hadn't been at a half-naked Harry Potter. And she wasn't thinking about that now, either.
Oh, fuck. Dammit. Shit, shit, bugger it all.
The whole of Hogwarts had gone insane, Parvati decided. There must definitely be something in the pumpkin juice.