By the Numbers

The world slowly swam back into focus; I didn't know how long I had been unconscious. I tried to sit up, but my hands were bound behind me, and there were thick ropes around my legs as well. My memory came flooding back: Remus hadn't had his potion, and Severus was looking for him. I quickly looked at the desk, and saw the still-steaming goblet. Turning my head so sharply made my vision blurry again for a few seconds. If Remus didn't get that potion before the moon rose, and if Severus found him, I had no doubt that not only would Severus not survive the encounter, but also I would lose Remus. Even in the unlikely event that he was spared execution, he would not be the same man if he hurt anyone. He would never be able to forgive himself.

It felt like I struggled against the bonds for an eternity, and I could taste the tears of frustration as they slid down my face unchecked. Finally, I managed to loosen the ropes around my hands. I was free. I staggered across the room to the desk, and a sob of relief escaped when I saw the map still there.

I rubbed my raw wrists as I searched the map for Remus and Severus. I didn't see them anywhere. "Oh, please, where are you, Remus?" I whispered, desperately studying the map. I knew there wasn't much time before the full moon would rise.

And then I saw an odd group of dots enter the map from what appeared to be the trunk of the Whomping Willow: Remus and Severus, accompanied by Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and, to my great surprise and confusion, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, who I was certain had died a long time ago. I didn't have time to wonder about it. I only had a few minutes left to get to Remus with the potion.

Thanking all of the fates that Severus had left my wand on the desk, I placed a protective spell over the goblet of Wolfsbane potion so that it wouldn't spill. I ran as quickly as I could along the corridor, down the stairs, and to the front doors of the school, stumbling over nearly every step, but by some miracle managing not to fall.

It was very dark outside as I started in the direction of the Whomping Willow, but I was suddenly able to see as moonlight lit up the grounds. Remus and Ron Weasley appeared to be chained to a short, balding man who had to be Peter Pettigrew. Severus was floating in the air behind them, with the unmistakable Sirius Black pointing a wand at him. Harry and Hermione were right behind him. As I was about to start sprinting toward them, the group suddenly froze.

Remus was shaking violently; I was too late with the potion. All I could do was watch in horror as he began to transform. It was exactly as I had seen in my dream, my Remus becoming a deadly beast. I couldn't look away, and I couldn't move until I realized that the children with him were in terrible danger. I had only taken a few steps forward when Black unexpectedly transformed into a huge black dog and launched himself at the werewolf that I couldn't quite make myself think of as Remus.

I was mesmerized by the fight between them, as the dog drove the wolf away from the children. A loud bang and bright burst of light drew my attention back to Pettigrew and the children in time to see Ron fall to the ground. It happened again, and Hermione's cat flew into the air and then landed motionless beside him. Pettigrew vanished.

A bone-chilling howl tore through the night, and the wolf ran into the forest. Harry shouted something, and the dog ran in another direction. I didn't know exactly what Pettigrew had done to Ron and Crookshanks, and I had no idea why Severus was simply floating a few inches above the ground, but I knew they needed more help than I could give them. I ran back to the castle to find Dumbledore.

*****

I stood in the corridor outside Albus Dumbledore's office, trying to get the stone gargoyle to let me in. Apparently, the password had just been changed, and I had no idea what it was.

"Chocolate Frog?" Nothing.

"Jelly Slug?" No.

"Acid Pop?" I was feeling increasingly desperate.

"Liquorice Wand? Fizzing Whizbee? Ice Mice?" The gargoyle just looked at me mockingly.

"It's 'Pepper Imp,' Miss Vector." I could have kissed the ancient wizard as the gargoyle leaped aside for Albus Dumbledore. "What can I do for you?"

I found that not only did I not quite know where to begin; I had apparently also lost the ability to form a complete sentence. "Remus. No potion. Sirius Black. Peter Pettigrew. Not dead. Harry Potter. And I don't know what happened to Severus."

Dumbledore looked far less confused than he should have, given my lack of actual information. "Where are they?"

"Outside." He followed me without question. We were met at the front doors by the now conscious Severus, holding aloft with his wand four stretchers bearing the limp forms of all three children and Sirius Black.

"What did you do to them, Severus?" I accused him automatically.

"I didn't do anything but bring them back to the castle after they were apparently attacked by Dementors." He actually had the nerve to sound offended.

"It's not as though you are above hexing someone to get them out of your way," I snapped. My wrists still stung from the rope burn left by my escape from his binding hex on me.

Albus put a stop to what I'm sure he thought was simple bickering. "Severus, please take the children to the hospital wing. Anna, will you please run ahead and see if Professor Flitwick's office is free? I think that will be a most secure place to have a little talk with Mr. Black."

Severus and I glared at each other for a moment before doing as we were asked.

*****

"Is there a particular reason that you are so upset with Severus?" Albus was right beside me, steering Sirius Black and his stretcher ahead of us. He hadn't really wanted me to go ahead of him; he just wanted to talk to me without Severus present.

"Well, yes. He's been spying on my private moments with...with a spell." I suddenly realized that I didn't know Dumbledore's attitude regarding personal relationships between the teachers in his employ. I should have known better than to think there was much that went on in the school that he didn't already have at least an inkling of

"There is not much love lost between him and Remus Lupin. I assume you know something about what happened when they were at school here?" He looked at me shrewdly.

I nodded. "Yes, Remus told me. I certainly don't think that gives Severus any right to spy on us!"

"He should not have been prying into your personal life, but I can see where he thought his concern was justified, given his previous experience with Lupin in his werewolf form."

"I can't believe you are saying it's all right that he knows every word I've ever said when Remus and I-" I knew I was bright red. I couldn't possibly discuss something so intimate with Albus Dumbledore.

Albus had an amused twinkle in his eyes at my discomfort, although he still spoke in a serious tone. "I'm not saying that what Severus did wasn't wrong and a terrible violation of your privacy. Only that I can see a possible reason for his actions. I assure you, I will speak to him."

"Thank you." I stopped outside the door to Flitwick's office. "May I stay? Peter Pettigrew was chained to Remus, but Sirius was free, and had a wand. From what I saw, Remus and the children weren't trying to capture Sirius, but they were trying to contain Peter. I'd like to speak to Sirius on Remus' behalf, since he obviously can't be here right now." I tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in my stomach when I thought about what Remus might be doing at that moment.

"Of course." Dumbledore nodded, as Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, came around the corner accompanied by a tall man with a thin black moustache and an axe tucked into his belt. I suddenly felt even worse: I had forgotten all about Hagrid and Buckbeak's appeal. I guessed that this man was an executioner, and that the appeal had ended as badly as I had feared it would. Poor Hagrid, probably grieving all alone. Some friend I was.

"Shall we get this interview underway?" Fudge said, rubbing his hands together eagerly. He looked at me curiously. "I'm afraid I haven't been introduced to this young lady, Albus."

"Professor Vector is a teacher here, and a former schoolmate of Mr. Black's. I think perhaps he might speak to her more readily than to someone he thinks might be threatening him." I was thankful for Albus Dumbledore's quick wit and smooth diplomacy. "In the interests of expediency, it might be best if Miss Vector and I interview Mr. Black, and you and Professor Snape take the children. Severus can show you to the hospital wing, Cornelius."

Severus had just come around the corner, and did not look at all pleased that Dumbledore wanted him to miss out on interrogating his old rival, but of course he wouldn't pass up the chance to have the ear of the Minister of Magic.

Fudge seemed to be relieved to be spared the responsibility for interrogating Black. "Of course, Albus. Excellent idea. I'll just send McNair to go fetch the Dementors. No need to wait, once you get Black's statement."

Before he left, McNair leered at me in a manner that made me feel as though he was trying to see right through my clothing. I suppressed a shudder and resisted the urge to pull my robe closed in front, and instead turned around to enter the office behind Sirius, still floating on the stretcher.

"Ennervate." Dumbledore awakened and unbound the prisoner the instant the door closed behind him. Sirius sat up, blinking in confusion.

"Professor Dumbledore?" His gaze rested on me. "You're...I don't really know you, but I've seen you with Remus." For a brief moment, he looked like the boy I remembered from school, as a roguish grin played across his face.

"This is Anna Vector. Remus, obviously, isn't here, but Anna is probably the best person to act as his representative. She saw Peter Pettigrew on the school grounds tonight. Do you have any insight into that, Sirius?" Albus was looking at Sirius with those piercing blue eyes that would accept only the truth.

"Peter faked his own death twelve years ago. I didn't kill him, or any Muggles. We switched at the last moment, and he became the Potters' Secret Keeper. I seemed such an obvious choice; I never thought any one would suspect Peter. But he-he got the better of us all. And I let him get away again tonight." He looked more like the dangerous criminal he was believed to be than he had before.

"I saw him disappear. How did he do that? He couldn't possibly have Disapparated from the Hogwarts grounds." I asked.

"He didn't disappear. He turned into a rat. Ron Weasley's pet rat. He's an Animagus." Sirius looked from me to Dumbledore. "So am I, and James was as well. We worked at it for years, and finally managed it while we were still in school." He looked sheepish. "I can't believe you didn't know, Professor."

Dumbledore actually did look surprised. I was not.

"Yes, I saw you. You turned into a dog. And you kept Remus from hurting the kids. Thank you."

Sirius looked at me as though no one had ever thanked him for anything before in his life. "You're...welcome," he said, puzzled. "That's why we became Animagi in the first place: to keep Remus company when he transformed. It was instinct to keep him in check."

"Well, I'm sure Remus would thank you, if he were here. He wouldn't want to hurt anyone." I shivered again, hoping desperately that Remus didn't run into anyone else for the remainder of the night. "I think I saw you one night, from my window. I almost thought you were a bear."

He blushed a little. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to watch you, but I had seen Remus in the window and I just wanted to see how he was. Looked like he was doing all right to me." He grinned again.

Dumbledore jumped in to get the conversation back on track. "You've spent all these years in Azkaban, and you were innocent? Sirius, I'm sorry. I should have insisted that the matter be investigated further. No one ever suspected anything about Peter." His face and voice were full of regret.

"You believe me?" Sirius looked afraid to hope. "You both believe me, don't you?"

Albus nodded. "Yes, but I'm afraid that we would have little impact on the Ministry. I didn't actually witness anything, and Anna's relationship with Remus will make her testimony suspect."

"Hermione and Harry! They were there. And they weren't afraid of Sirius at all. They were following him voluntarily. And they saw Pettigrew." I knew I was grasping at straws.

Albus was shaking his head. "They're children. Children who were found unconscious after being attacked by Dementors. It will be very easy to maintain that they are under the influence of some sort of spell."

"But-" I couldn't bear the thought that Remus' chance to get one of his friends back would be snatched away like this, not to mention that Sirius was actually innocent.

"We aren't completely out of options yet." That Dumbledore twinkle was back in his eyes. "There isn't much time, but I think it's safe for you to spend a few more minutes with Sirius. Leave when you hear anyone about to enter, and try to make sure that whoever is there sees that Sirius is still here when you leave. Stall them in the corridor as long as you can before they open the door again."

I was mystified, but heartened by the mere fact that Dumbledore had a plan. He left, and I turned back to Sirius.

"He's a crazy old man, but I'm glad I have him on my side now," Sirius said quietly.

"Me, too," I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Tell Remus that I'm glad he's finally found a nice woman who seems to understand him."

I laughed. "Please. I doubt that's the only message you have for him after all these years."

The smile that flashed across his face made him look like the handsome man he should have been, instead of the half-starved fugitive he was. "Well, I haven't had a conversation with a pretty girl in a long time." He suddenly looked more solemn. "I already told him I was sorry for thinking he was the one spying for Voldemort. Tell him again."

"I will."

"Will you and Remus keep an eye on Harry, as much as you can? It's my job really, as his godfather, but, you know, circumstances being what they are..."

"I don't really know Harry very well, but I'll do what I can. Remus has been, already." I was worried sick about what might be happening to him. "Do you know where Remus might go tonight? I want to find him as soon as I can in the morning."

Sirius frowned thoughtfully. "I think he'll go back to the Shrieking Shack to transform. He usually did when we were students. Just poke the knot at the bottom of the trunk of the Whomping Willow with a long stick, and you'll be able to get into the passage. I'm sure you know, but make sure you wait until after the moon sets."

I heard faint footsteps from the corridor. "Good luck, Sirius." He was taken aback as I embraced him briefly and kissed his cheek. "Please, take care of yourself."

I walked quickly to the door and listened for the footsteps to get close enough for their owner to see Sirius when I opened the door. Sirius had his hand on his cheek where I had kissed him and looked rather dazed. I realized that it had probably been a very long time since anyone had touched him with kindness.

"Moony is one lucky dog. If he breaks your heart, I'll buy the silver bullet."

I couldn't help a small smile. "I doubt that will be necessary, but thank you."

He returned my smile with a faint one of his own.

"I mean it, Sirius. Be careful." I had a sudden thought: if he was anything like Remus- "Stalling them out there will probably involve some sort of screaming on my part. I'll be fine. You just get out of here."

He nodded, as I took a deep breath and opened the door wide enough to show Fudge and McNair that Sirius was still there before I closed the door behind me.

*****

I leaned against the doorframe as though I needed it for support, effectively blocking the Minister of Magic from entering.

"Miss...Vector, is it? Are you quite all right?" He looked concerned, not so much about my welfare but more as though he didn't want to have anything else to explain to the press.

I didn't answer, but tried to look as though I were ill. It wasn't difficult, as McNair was looking at me in a manner that made my skin crawl. There were also two Dementors standing just down the corridor, and I could feel them sucking the hope out of my soul. I struggled to keep my wits: Sirius needed every second I could give him. I gave a shrill scream and pointed in the direction of the Dementors. "Make them go away."

Startled, Fudge glanced over his shoulder. "Now, really, Miss. They are here to protect you from the prisoner. He's quite dangerous. I'm sure he is really what is worrying you. No need to worry, now. I am the Minister of Magic, you know. You're safe around me."

I had to restrain myself from smacking his condescending face. Instead, I faked a swoon toward him, hoping I could knock him down. It would have given me great satisfaction to send that smug little man sprawling in the corridor. Unfortunately, he stepped out of the way just in time.

I was kept from hitting the floor by McNair, who then proceeded to fondle me most inappropriately. I pretended to wake suddenly from my "fainting" spell, raising my knee sharply into his groin.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. McNair," I said in the most sickeningly sweet voice I could produce, as he gasped soundlessly and doubled over in pain. I felt vindicated. Let him try that again. Fudge had his hand on the doorknob, gaping at the scene before him. I didn't think I would be able to stall them much longer, and thought I should get out of there. I fanned myself with my hand. "I'm really not feeling well. I think I should go lie down."

I walked slowly down the corridor, knowing they were both watching me until I turned the corner. I hoped there had been enough time for Dumbledore's plan to work. I paused once I was out of their line of sight, and waited.

I heard voices, but not words. It sounded like Severus and Dumbledore had arrived, but I didn't dare peek around the corner. A moment later, I heard shouts of anger and frustration. Sirius must have been gone. There was a window at the end of corridor, from which I caught a glimpse of a man on the back of a Hippogriff silhouetted against the full moon. I allowed myself a small moment of triumph before rushing off to the safety of my room, where I spent the rest of the night staring out the window and worrying about Remus.

*****

I waited just out of reach of the branches of the Whomping Willow for the moon to drop below the horizon. I had already found a stick long enough to reach through the branches, and pressed the knot I found there. I was a little nervous about entering the Shrieking Shack as I started the long walk down the passage, hoping that Remus really would be there. Remus had told me long ago that it was not haunted, but beliefs ingrained in childhood are not easily overcome by logic.

I searched the house quickly, and found Remus curled up naked and asleep on the floor of the upstairs bedroom. He looked awfully exposed and helpless, his face relaxed in sleep even as he shivered in the chilly room. He didn't appear to be injured, so I decided to let him get as much rest as he could. I pulled his robe from the bundle of his clothes I had brought and covered him with it, and then sank down to the floor beside him.

I stroked Remus' hair as I sat leaning against the wall, thinking of the last time I had watched him as he slept. Had it really been only yesterday? It wasn't long before I dozed off myself: it had been an eventful night, and I had woken up early the day before. I was utterly exhausted.

I woke with a start as Remus stirred beneath my hand. He tried to burrow further under the robe, but it hardly offered much warmth. He rolled over, and blinked at me in confusion for a moment before sitting up abruptly.

"Why are you here? I didn't hurt you, did I? You shouldn't be here." He pulled the robe tightly around himself.

"It's all right. I waited until the moon set. I wanted to be with you when you woke up" I nudged the rest of his clothes toward him, but he didn't even notice. "Are you hurt at all?"

"How did you know I would be here?" I should have known better than to try to get anything sensible out of him when he was so groggy.

"Sirius told me."

"Sirius?" He blinked rapidly several times and shook his head, trying to clear his mental fog. "They didn't send him back to Azkaban, did they? He's innocent. Peter-?"

'Peter got away. He grabbed your wand when you transformed. I found it for you." I dug through the bundle and pulled out his wand, but he didn't even see it. He was staring intently at my face. "Sirius escaped, too. As far as I know, he's well away from here and safe with Buckbeak."

"Buckbeak?" His lips turned up in a small smile. "Hagrid's rogue Hippogriff? Brilliant."

I smiled back at him. "I know. Dumbledore will have to explain the details. All I know is they both disappeared last night under very mysterious circumstances."

"You spoke to Sirius? You know he's innocent? What did he tell you?" I'd never heard him ask so many questions in a row before.

"We had a very interesting conversation. Sirius is...quite something." I saw a brief flicker of amusement cross Remus' face. "Remus, why didn't you tell me that Sirius was an Animagus? That's how he got into the castle and that's what you've been hiding from me, isn't it?" I could probably have waited until later to ask that, but I was much too tired to be tactful.

He suddenly turned very red. "I wanted to tell you, but I just...couldn't. I didn't want you to know I had kept such a thing from Dumbledore, and I knew you would want me to tell him, and I just..."

"Couldn't," I finished for him. He looked ashamed. "Sirius told Dumbledore himself. If you had told Dumbledore earlier, about Sirius and Peter, maybe he would have figured out about Ron's rat, and maybe he would have been caught, and then Sirius wouldn't have to be on the run right now." I knew it was unlikely, but I felt horrible about not being able to help Sirius, and needed someone to blame.

I could see that Remus was blaming himself, too. He silently pulled on his clothes, looking anywhere but at me. Now I felt horrible about making Remus feel even worse about something for which he was already full of regret.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I have no right to blame you. It's just, if I had known Pettigrew could transform into a rat, I might have been able to catch him. I thought he just vanished. I didn't know he had changed into a rat and run off."

He looked at me suddenly, sharply. "You saw him transform? That means you were there when I changed. You were out on the grounds when I was-when I was the wolf?" He sat back down on the floor abruptly. "What if I had run toward you, instead of into the forest? God, Anna. I might have killed you!" His face was a deathly shade of white.

"Remus, you didn't even come near me. I'm fine." I reached for his hand, but he pulled away from me.

"I promised your father that I would protect you, and I nearly killed you myself. It's not safe for you around me. I always knew that, but I didn't care. I shouldn't have let myself get so close to you. To need you like I do. It's not fair to you."

"Remus, stop it!" I was quite alarmed. "For such a smart man, you can be awfully stupid."

"Stupid?" he asked, bewildered. "Anna, it's true. I'm-"

"Be quiet and listen to me. Really listen to me this time, Remus. Because I'm not going to say it again." I was determined to put a stop to this train of thought. "If you even think that you have any choice in how you feel about me, then we don't have the sort of relationship I thought we did. Loving you is not something I could stop, even if I wanted to. It's not a choice, or something I even have to think about. It just is. I don't want to lose you, but Remus, if you don't feel the same-" I couldn't finish that sentence because I refused to cry.

He was looking at me in disbelief. "Anna, how could you doubt the way I feel about you? It would kill me to lose you, but it would be worse if I were responsible for hurting you. Maybe..." He looked away, not meeting my eyes anymore. "Maybe, it would be better if you were...free. To find someone else. Someone you could have a real life with. Someone who the rest of the world won't look at as a monster, who could give you a home, and children, and-"

I leaned forward and put a hand over his mouth to stop him. "Remus, I don't need those things. I have my own money, I already have more children than I know what to do with, here at Hogwarts, and the only life I want is with you."

He pulled my hand away from his mouth, and held it as he sat quietly for a long moment, thinking. I stared at him intently, trying to read his mind, but his face was a closed book.

He finally spoke. "Anna Vector, you are mental. You are also much too good for me. I don't mean that in the self-pitying manner I know you hate so much, only that you are far too wonderful for any mere mortal to deserve."

"No I'm not, Remus. I'm horribly selfish. No one has ever cared about me as much as you do. I just don't want to be alone again. All last night, all I could think of was that I hoped you wouldn't hurt anyone, because if you did, I would lose you. I can't bear the thought of that." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "Besides, don't you know? The numbers say we belong together."

"Do they?"

I nodded. "We balance each other almost perfectly. You're focused and practical, and I'm distracted and impulsive. You're overly cautious, and I never think about consequences until it's far too late. Together, we make a balanced equation. We need each other. Numbers don't lie, Remus."

"How can I argue with that?" He brushed the tears from my cheeks and held my face gently in his hands. "Why would I argue with that? It might be selfish, but I love you. I can't give you up." He kissed me lightly. "But I must never be so careless again. It wasn't only you who I put in danger last night."

"There were extenuating circumstances. I imagine that seeing an old friend risen from the dead, as it were, would be enough to distract anyone." I pulled him close to me and held him tightly. "Besides, I'm not completely helpless, you know. I had my wand; I could have protected myself. You don't have to take care of me. We take care of each other. I'll lock you up somewhere every month if I have to. I don't want to spend another night worrying about whether or not you will be alive in the morning."

He pulled away a bit so he could look at me. "You shouldn't have to worry about that. It isn't your prob-"

"Remus!" I snapped, perhaps a bit more sharply than necessary. "I refuse to keep having this same discussion. It is my problem, because it's your problem. We don't just get to pick out the good points of the people we love and ignore the bad things. If you want to be with me, you have to deal with my crazy father and the fact that I'm just not ever going to put a book right back on the shelf when I'm done with it."

His frown faded a bit, but did not disappear. "Anna, that's not the same."

"I knew you were a werewolf before I loved you. Maybe I didn't understand everything that would involve, but I think I do, now. Worrying about you is part of loving you. And I do love you. Even if you are compulsively polite and take far too much responsibility for things that are not entirely within your control. Like me." I smiled at him. "Are we going to have to keep having this argument, or have I made myself clear enough this time?"

"I don't want to control you. I just don't want to hurt you." He shook his head and smiled ruefully "I suppose I just need to accept that you don't need me to shelter you. I know you're not helpless. Haven't I seen you hold your own with Snape?"

I realized Remus didn't know anything about what I had learned about Severus spying on us, but I simply could not face telling him right then. "I'm hungry and tired, and you look dreadful. Can we head back to the castle and have some breakfast and just go to sleep?"

"I look dreadful, do I?" He grinned. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty hungry, too. Guess that means I didn't eat anyone last night." I must have made a face, because he instantly said, "I'm sorry. That wasn't funny at all."

"It was rather tasteless."

He groaned. "Just how much time did you spend with Sirius last night? That sounds like something he would say. He's not funny, either."

I laughed. "I only had a few minutes with him, but I liked him. He's-"

I was suddenly distracted by a loud noise from the mostly boarded up window in the room. An owl was trying to squeeze through a slightly-too-small gap between two pieces of wood. Remus stood and crossed the room to help him through. The owl hooted gratefully, as he perched on the end of the bed and held out his leg so that Remus could remove the attached letter.

Remus opened the letter and read it silently to himself. I watched his face curiously: his expression went from surprise to concern (here he looked up at me sharply for a second) to amusement and back to a concerned frown.

He looked back up at me and asked, "Who is McNair?"

"The creepy Ministry executioner sent to kill Buckbeak. Why?"

"Apparently, Sirius didn't like how he looked at you." He smiled slightly, as though he couldn't stop himself, as he handed me the letter so that I could read it for myself.

Moony,

The owl will bring your answer by return post: I'll be off to further parts unknown the second I receive your reply. I just couldn't continue traveling without first checking that no one else has been hurt because of me. I hope your night in the forest was uneventful.

I'm also a bit worried about your lovely Anna: I did

not like the way that bloke McNair was eyeing her when I saw her last. I'm sure you can handle it if he needs to be taught a lesson in how to treat a lady, but if you need me, it would be worth the risk it to come back and help you. I didn't have a chance to thank her for being so nice to me: it's been such a long time since anyone has been kind to me, and it took me quite by surprise. Tell her I promise to be careful.

You please be careful, too, Moony, and keep an eye out for Wormtail. I doubt he'll show his slimy self around Hogwarts again anytime soon, but I obviously never really knew his mind at all. I know you don't need me to tell you this, but stay alert, and do what you can to make sure Harry is safe as well.

Thank you for everything, and I hope to see you soon.

Padfoot

"As nice as it is to know that chivalry is not dead, please assure him that I can handle myself with the likes of McNair. He'll watch where he puts his hands from now on."

Remus paused in his search for something to write with and grinned at me. "That's my girl." He bent down to pick up something that looked suspiciously like an invisibility cloak, which he immediately stuffed into his pocket. "This would be Harry's."

I dug through my own pockets, and came up with an extremely bent and battered quill. "Here you go."

Remus took one look at the misshapen quill, and crushed me to him in a sudden tight hug.

"What was that for?"

He kissed the top of my head. "Nothing. I just love you." I was pleased, even if I didn't quite know what had brought that on. "You wouldn't happen to have any ink on you, would you?"

I pointed my wand at the quill. "Atramentum."

Remus took the quill, and pressed it to the bottom of Sirius' parchment. He shot me another grin when black ink flowed as smoothly as was possible from the bent tip of the quill. "Don't let me hear you say that I'm the practical one. This is brilliant."

I shrugged "Well, you never know when the solution to a complicated equation will suddenly make itself clear and need to be written down."

"There. Anything you want to add?" He handed me the finished note.

Padfoot

Anna and I are both quite well. She thanks you for your concern, and asked me to tell you that McNair has been taught his lesson. I, however, plan to offer him a review session if I should run into him.

Do take care of yourself. It was wonderful to see you, and I look forward to having a real chance to talk. I hate that all these years have been wasted. If I catch Wormtail, he will pay for it.

I will certainly do what I can for Harry. Don't worry.

Moony

I took the quill from Remus, and added my own note underneath:

I'll let Hagrid know that Buckbeak is being well looked after. I hope we have a proper chance to get to know each other sometime in the near future. Be safe. Anna

I tied the letter back to the patiently waiting post owl's leg, and then gave him a little shove when he had trouble squeezing back through the window. He hooted once in thanks, and flew off to deliver the message. I turned back to Remus, who was watching me with a strange sort of smile. "What?"

He shook his head. "Your hair. It's a mess. There are leaves and grass and dust in it, and it's all tangled. You're beautiful."

I felt my face get very warm, as my hands flew up to try to straighten my hair. I felt the leaves and tangles he was talking about : it was hopeless. "You've already got me, Remus. You don't have to feed me lines about thinking I'm pretty."

He grinned. "It's not a line, and I didn't say you were pretty. I said you were beautiful. I think you are. Let's go get breakfast."

I took the hand he was offering. "You're not so bad yourself."

We headed back to the castle.

*****

When we walked through the huge front doors, I heard a hiss of whispers from across the Entrance Hall. I glanced over to the corner, where a knot of students was listening with rapt attention to Pansy Parkinson, an unpleasant Slytherin girl with the unfortunate appearance of a pug dog. She saw Remus and me enter, and pointed in our direction, giving a small, dramatic shriek.

I turned to Remus. "I wonder what that's about. Is my hair really so frightful?"

He smiled, but a new, tense look had entered his eyes. "I think she was looking at me."

"Why?" I asked, before I heard a word that always grabbed my attention.

"...werewolf!"

"Oh, no," Remus muttered. "Go upstairs, Anna. You don't need to see this."

"I'm not going anywhere." I was suddenly afraid, not of Remus, but of these students and how they might hurt him.

"Professor Lupin, Professor Snape told us morning that you're a werewolf. Is that true?" Pansy called across the Hall. "Ooh, Professor Vector, did he bite you?" Her eyes glittered with excitement.

"Don't be ridiculous, Pansy. He never bit anyone." She reminded me unpleasantly of Aurora Sinistra. "Where is Professor Snape?"

"In his office, probably. Why? Are you going to see if he has anything to protect us from the werewolf? I wonder if he's bitten anyone since he's been here." A murmur rippled through the crowd behind her.

"No one really likes a gossip, Pansy," I informed her, tugging on Remus' sleeve to get him to follow me down to the dungeon. "It might earn you attention, but not trust or respect."

She narrowed her eyes at me as we passed, but did not respond. I wondered if I'd see her in my class again next year.

"You shouldn't have said that, Anna. You know her father-"

"Not now, Remus. I don't really care about the opinion of that spoiled little brat." I paused outside Severus' office door and looked at Remus for the first time since just after we had come inside. He was extremely pale, his face drawn and tense. "Look at me." The hunted look in his eyes frightened me. "It's all right, Remus. It will be all right." He started to shake his head. "It will." I kissed him, and stood there with my arms around him for a long moment.

"Well, isn't this sweet?" Severus was standing in the open doorway to his office.

I turned and hit him across the face with all the strength I had. He looked completely shocked as he stepped backwards to regain his balance.

"Anna, don't." Remus caught my arm as I raised it to strike Severus again. "Just...don't." He sounded as exhausted as he looked.

"How dare you, Severus? What do you think gives you the right to meddle in our lives? Why won't you just leave me alone?" Only Remus' hand still holding my wrist kept me from hitting Severus again. In my opinion, it was long overdue.

"Not everything is about you, Miss Vector." Severus sounded just as nasty as he ever did, but he looked strange, standing there with his hand on his cheek. He reminded me of another black-haired man who had looked at me with much the same stunned expression, if for a different reason. It only made me angrier, and I had to struggle to keep from telling him so. Only the absolute necessity that Severus not know that I had any knowledge about Sirius' escape kept me quiet on the subject.

"Please, do explain yourself, Severus. Why were you spying on me, and why did you take it upon yourself to inform the student body that Remus is a werewolf?"

"Anna-" Severus began, but he was immediately interrupted by Remus.

"What's this about spying?" Remus was completely confused. "Has he been watching you? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I only just found out last night. There really hasn't been a good moment to bring it up yet." I was very tired and it was just too much to deal with all at once. "He did some sort of spell, with the letter he stole and a dropped quill of mine that he found, that lets him know what I say to you when we're, well, alone. I don't really understand it."

"A verbal concipere spell, Severus?" Remus looked vaguely intrigued, in spite of himself. "And it worked? Even though the quill probably wasn't the one she used to write that particular letter?"

"It was personal enough. Worked like a charm." Severus was so smug, I wanted to hit him again. "You should be flattered, Lupin. It means you are the true desire of her heart, foolish though that may be. It wouldn't have worked, otherwise."

I still didn't understand. "What did this spell do to me?"

Remus smiled grimly. "It didn't do anything to you. It opened a sort of window into the emotion that you put into that letter. Anytime you feel the same way again, the words you say will be transferred to whatever format he assigned to them: it could be something like a Pensieve, or-"

"Good lord, Severus! You've been watching every time I feel the way I did when I wrote that letter?" I had poured every bit of love and longing that I felt for Remus into that letter. It was how I still felt every time he touched me. "Whenever Remus and I are-are together you've been watching?"

"God, no. I don't want to see or hear that. It's just words on parchment."

"Just words..." I felt sick. Just words! Things I had said to Remus, for him alone, the most private desires of my heart, laid out on parchment for Severus to read at his leisure.

"Anna, are you all right?' Remus put his arm around me and turned me away from Severus to face him.

"Am I all right? Of course I'm not all right! It's as though he's been inside my head. Everything I've ever said to you, that wasn't for anyone else to hear. Things I would never want anyone else to know." I could feel myself getting slightly hysterical. "That's just-just wrong." I was shaking.

"She's right, Severus." Albus Dumbledore was striding toward us down the corridor. "I don't care what your reasons are. Nothing gives you the right to invade anyone's privacy. Or to give students information that I specifically requested be kept amongst the staff. Please, let us go inside, before any students find you all here and start spreading still more gossip."

"I didn't say anything that was not true," Severus said as I passed him in entering his office. Only Remus' arm around my shoulders kept me from hitting him again. The intensity of my anger was frightening: I had never before had such a desire to cause physical harm to another human being.

Remus, of all people in the world, certainly seemed to understand how I felt. He murmured softly into my ear as we sat down, "I know. You want to hurt him. Don't let him drag you down to that level. You're better than that. We'll go break something later." He kissed me softly on the cheek.

"Well, Severus." Dumbledore looked uncharacteristically severe. "You've caused quite a dilemma for Remus and for the school. What were you thinking?"

"It merely slipped out, Headmaster," Severus said, attempting to sound sincere. "I had no intention of revealing Lupin's secret."

"Severus," Dumbledore began sternly, but I couldn't restrain myself.

"You're a liar, Severus," I raged. "A liar and a sneak and-"

"Sweetheart, don't," Remus said quietly. He so rarely called me by any sort of pet name, I realized how very upset he must have been. I stopped my ranting while I still had some control over myself.

"I'm finished," I said meekly.

"So am I." Remus stood up. "Please accept my resignation, Albus, effective immediately. I'll be leaving today."

"No!" I was horrified. "You can't!"

"Anna, the students will tell their parents. It's best if I go now, rather than wait for angry owls calling for my dismissal." I could tell by the look on his face that his heart was breaking right along with mine.

"Remus, that's not necessary. I'll deal with the parents. You don't need to go." It really was what I would have expected from Dumbledore.

"Thank you, but I do need to go. I've been through this before. I'll go pack." He didn't look at me as he left the room.

I sat frozen for I don't know how long. Albus and Severus were exchanging very harsh words, but I didn't hear them at all. I couldn't believe it. Remus was going to leave? He was going to leave me? How could he, without even putting up a fight? I got up to go after him. "I will never, ever forgive you for this, Severus."

*****

I found Remus in his office, putting the last of his few personal belongings into his battrered suitcase. I watched him for a moment, trying to think of what to say.

"You're not really going, are you? How can you? I thought you loved me."

He looked up at me. "Of course I love you. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not leaving you. I'm leaving my job."

"You're leaving Hogwarts. I'm at Hogwarts. Therefore, you're leaving me." It was a logical progression.

"Anna, no!" He looked nearly desperate. "It will be awful for you if I stay. You don't know the way werewolves are treated. How nasty people can get. I don't want you to have to go though that."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, Remus. You're ripping out my heart to save me from being hurt? I thought you finally understood that I don't want you to try to save me from everything." It was very difficult not to get on my knees and beg him to stay. I did have some pride. Not a lot, perhaps, but some.

He crossed the room, leaving his case open on the desk. It killed me that his whole life fit into that one small suitcase. "Anna, I love you. I don't want to leave, but I have to. Please, please try to understand." He held my face in his hands as his eyes searched mine for something. "Please understand."

"I don't understand, Remus. I don't want you to leave. Please." I didn't care about the tears spilling from my eyes and across his hands. "Please don't leave me here alone again."

"You won't be alone. I'll love you even if I can't see you every day. You know how much I do. Leaving won't change that." He kissed me, and I let him sweep me away for a moment, until the truth struck me again.

I pulled away from him. "Don't lie to me, Remus. Everything will change. Don't pretend that it won't. Are you just going to give up? You're not even going to fight? You're just going to run away?" I had started beating my fists against his chest in frustrated anger. "And don't keep saying that it's to protect me. It's to protect yourself. You're afraid." He allowed me to hit him several more times before catching my wrists. "You're just afraid," I whispered, letting him put his arms around me.

"You're right, I am afraid," he said softly into my hair. "But it really is better if I go. I won't be able to teach students who are afraid of me, especially if I am constantly fighting their parents. And I would be worried about you all the time. I know you. You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from defending me, and then everyone in the world would know what you mean to me. It would be easy for someone who is afraid of me to hurt you instead."

"Remus, you don't know that's what will happen. Maybe-"

"Please stop fighting me, Anna. I'm going. I do know that that is what will happen, and there is nothing anyone can do to change it. Not even Dumbledore."

I pushed him away from me. "Fine. Leave. If that's what you think you need to do. But if you don't care enough to even listen to me, I don't care where you go."

I turned and walked out of his office, slamming the door so violently behind me that it didn't latch, but bounced against the door frame and flew open again. I didn't bother to turn back to close it properly.