Several Blushes and Cookies

Several Blushes and Cookies

Summary: Your guess is about as good as mine. It’s a sequel to Humiliation’s Friend and a Blush.

Harry and Hermione were sitting on the roof of Gryffindor Tower, legs hanging off the edge, chewing on chocolate chip cookies. Harry looked over at Hermione. She’s really pretty, he thought. I’m glad she made the first move. Hermione looked over at him and smiled.

“Are you happy, Harry?” Harry nodded vigorously. She laughed and threw her arms around his neck, knocking them both off balance.

“WHOA,” Harry yelled. “ACCIO FIREBOLT!” His Firebolt came soaring towards him from the roof of the tower and he caught it, clambered on, and hauled Hermione up in front of him. “Careful,” he muttered softly in her ear. She turned and gave him a small peck on the cheek as they soared down to the ground.

“You know what, Malfoy? Guys stopped being jerks to get a girl’s attention back in first year. You obviously never passed that maturity gap so here’s a quick lesson for you. Grow up. I’m not impressed.”

“Cute.”

“Yes, I thought so too. But then you turned around and I saw your face.”

“That almost hurt, Granger.”

“I’ve done worse to you. You remember, don’t you? And I could do worse than that.” They were standing on opposite sides of the Great Hall yelling at each other, slowly advancing. Everyone was either watching with mild interest or hurriedly swallowing their breakfast in case some sort of explosion took place that might ruin the food. Even the teachers were ignoring Hermione and Draco as these rows seemed to be a daily occurrence between the two.

“Don’t you think you should help her?” Ron whispered to Harry softly.

“I’m here if she needs me but I think she’s doing a fine job on her own,” he replied.

“That seems pretty true,” remarked Ron thoughtfully as Draco blushed furiously at something else Hermione had just said.

“Besides, they argue almost every day. I know she’ll end up completely embarrassing him in front of the entire school and then things will simmer down again until tomorrow’s breakfast where they’ll start this whole process again.”

“It would be almost tiring if Hermione wasn’t so quick and witty with her retorts.”

“I daresay she’s had enough practice fighting with you.” Harry got up to stand behind Hermione and try to nudge her away as Pansy did the same thing on the other side of the Hall to Draco. “Hey, Hermione. Everyone knows you’ll just finish him off like you seem to do every day. Can’t we leave now? We’ll be late for Transfiguration if we don’t.”

“GET OFF OF ME - oh!” She stopped seeing it was Harry who was behind her and not one of the several Slytherins that had taken to following her around lately ever since the mild war that had started on the front lawn which they believed was her fault. “Harry! Well, alright. I was just finishing him off.” She turned back to Draco. “And now I’m going to turn on my heel and stalk out of the Great Hall leading Harry behind me.” And so she did.

Hey Hermione,

I think you’re getting a bit overexcited with this whole Malfoy thing. Maybe you should cool down a bit on it.

- Harry

Hey Harry,

Don’t pass notes in Transfiguration. You ought to be paying attention.

- Hermione

Harry sighed. Same old Hermione. Even if she was a bit more…ferocious lately. He didn’t care though. He still liked her. He was drawn out of his thoughts by a poke in his side.

“Harry. Wake up! Professor McGonagall just called on you to change your rock to a flower.” Hermione poked him again until he sat up and slowly walked to the front of the class, bringing his rock. It took him only a moment before he was able to turn it into a beautiful white rose. He started to walk back to his seat when he heard Malfoy snicker behind him.

“Going to give it to your girlfriend? I thought so.”

“That’s not a bad idea. Must be your first good idea ever. Good boy!” He patted a scowling Draco on the head and presented the rose to Hermione.

“For my fair maiden,” he said softly.

“I’m honored, sir,” she said taking the thornless rose.

Seeing the scene, Professor McGonagall called out, “Draco! Instead of talking, let’s see if you can change your rock. Come up here.” He stalked sullenly to the front of the class and whipped out his wand. It took him several tries, but he was finally able to make it glow a bright gold and begin to change. When the glow subsided, he looked eagerly at the flower that was lying on the desk. It was a dandelion. Fully loaded with seeds. He grabbed the flower and held it up to Pansy.

“For my fair lady,” he said in a very sarcastic voice.

“You couldn’t even make me a pansy? Not interested.” She brushed his hand away, showering them both in seeds, causing the Gryffindors to laugh and even the Slytherins to snicker. Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes.

“I wonder how our dear Draco is doing,” Hermione said sarcastically. She was referring to the fact that somehow in the end of the class, Malfoy had managed to get himself a detention by standing up and insulting Pansy. Supposedly, they had been passing notes back and forth, but it was still a shock to be taking a test and then finding yourself in the middle of a relationship war. Knowing how much he despised Hagrid, Professor McGonagall had assigned him a detention with Hagrid who always seemed to be able to find back-breaking physical labor for Malfoy to participate in. So, of course, Harry and Hermione were down at Hagrid’s to torture Malfoy with their freedom. They were currently sitting on top of Hagrid’s hut, overlooking his garden where Malfoy was planting pumpkins. They both had slices of watermelon that seemed to require bits and pieces being spit out, where Malfoy just happened to be standing.

Spitting out another seed, Harry looked down at the blond hair with the speckled black seeds in it. “He seems fine to me.” In response, Draco looked up and made a very rude gesture to which Harry rolled his eyes and flatly ignored.

“I’m done, Potter, so if you’ll kindly tell Hagrid that I’m leaving, that would be much appreciated.” Harry gave a sadistic grin.

“Sure I’ll tell him, Malfoy.” Draco scowled.

“I’ll tell him,” said Hermione. “I have to pay him a visit anyway. I’ll meet you back in the Tower, Harry.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and they both hopped down onto the pile of logs next to the house and then to the ground. Hermione turned to go into Hagrid’s hut and Harry started to make his way up the lawn, Draco beside him. Neither said anything until they were almost to the front doors. All of a sudden, Draco stopped. Harry, not trusting him enough to have his back facing Draco, stopped too.

“What is it, Malfoy?”

“I think I might just keel over and die,” he said with venom, “but I need your help.” Harry’s mouth fell open.

“You need my help? THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I don’t kill people on a regular basis. Sorry, Malfoy. No can do.” This time it was Malfoy’s turn to stop and stare. Harry blushed. “Never mind. Forget that last bit.”

“Anyway…I need your help with Pansy,” said Malfoy uncertainly. “You have a…way with girls.”

“I’m not one to go around messing with other people’s love lives.”

“Come on, Potter. Just tell her to stop bugging me. She’s completely in love with me and I can’t get her to leave me alone.”

“Fine. But you owe me.”

“So you say you’ve killed somebody?”

“Blackmail, is it?”

“You have now moved up to my list of the ten most interesting people with the biggest secrets.”

“I can’t believe I’ve sunk that low.”

“You should be honored.”

“Oddly enough, I’m not. I wonder why. This requires some contemplation. You should leave.” Draco made a face and stalked off. Harry sighed and followed him into the castle.

That night, at dinner, Harry made his way over to the Slytherin table. He had never been over there before and he had never noticed the smell it gave off. Wrinkling his nose, he went over to where Pansy was sitting which was on the complete opposite side of the table as Draco. She was sitting with her friends and Harry was suddenly reminded of asking Cho out in his fourth year. Clearing his throat, he stepped up next to her.

“Um…Pansy? I need to talk to you for a moment.” Her friends all burst out in giggles and she got up. “Malfoy is too big a git and a coward to tell you himself but he wants you to leave him alone.”

“Draco sent you here? Why that insufferable git - ” She stopped in anger and took a few deep breaths. “I have a restraining order against him. He kept following me around to try and kiss me. You tell him that - ”

“I am no one’s messenger. Tell him yourself.” Harry turned on his heel and strode back to the Gryffindor table, muttering under his breath about idiot girls and their idiot boyfriends. He stopped realizing that it probably included him, now that he was an idiot boyfriend. He scowled as he sat down next to Hermione.

“What’s wrong, Harry?” she asked kindly.

“Malfoy and Pansy. The reviewers all want them to get together but somebody up there (A/N: Me! The author!) really hates him and wants to make their love life as complicated as possible. So, in a week, Pansy got a restraining order against Malfoy, he found out about the You-Know-What that happened in fifth year, and my sense of smell has been deadened from their table. Not to mention that Malfoy is officially asking me for favors.” He stopped for breath.

“That was an odd rant, Harry,” she said, looking at him quizzically.

“Thanks.”

“You’re thankful?” It was his turn to look at her oddly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Harry.” She finished up her dinner and then they left together. They had no sooner left the Great Hall when they were attacked by a barrage of shouting.

“WAS THAT MY FAULT?” screamed Pansy.

“YES!” screamed Draco back.

“IT WAS NOT ALL MINE!”

“IT WAS ENTIRELY YOURS!”

“YOU DROVE ME TO IT!”

“I DIDN’T FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING!”

“BUT WE’RE NOT EVEN GOING OUT! WHY WOULD YOU CARE?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE A GREAT SNOGGER!”

“SNOGGER? THAT’S NOT EVEN A WORD!”

“AT LEAST I DON’T GO AROUND S- ”

“DON’T YOU DARE BRING THAT UP, DRACO MALFOY! HOW DARE YOU EVEN TALK TO ME?”

“What?” asked Harry. They both jumped and turned to look at Harry and Hermione.

“I think you two should both sign up for anger management control,” stated Hermione firmly. They gave her odd looks.

“We’re not mad at each other…not really,” said Draco. Harry raised an eyebrow. “That damn restraining order keeps me ten feet away at all times so we have to yell to hear each other.”

“It’s not a ‘damn’ restraining order,” snapped Pansy. “I need it to keep you well away. And we are mad at each other. Or at least I’m mad at you. It’s not your business whether or not I decide to go to the Ball with Crabbe.”

“Can’t you guys just have a good snog and let it all go?” asked Harry. “You’re really getting on my nerves.”

“I am not snogging that…thing,” said Pansy with a scowl.

“I am not a thing,” exclaimed Draco. “I’m a boy!”

“A real boy,” sighed Harry. “Aren’t you just full of clichés?”

“I don’t get it,” said Draco and Pansy at the same time.

“Muggle thing,” said Hermione and Harry at the same time. Draco and Pansy each made a face while the other two left.

“You know this whole plot is rather disinteresting, don’t you think?” Harry asked, very nonchalantly as they were walking down the corridor.

“I don’t know if it really has a plot,” said Hermione. “It’s just a bunch of random scenes put together when someone was bored. And they’re not funny anymore. Do you know how hard Draco kicked me in the shins last week? It really hurt and someone thinks physical humor is funny. Well it’s not!” she yelled putting her hands on her hips. They turned a corner and Harry walked straight into something, making him trip and go flying with Hermione tripping over his heels and the something went tumbling too. It was…*gasp*…no….

“This is a rather compromising position,” blushed Harry as he looked up and found Hermione sprawled over him. She blushed too and rolled away, but then stopped.

“Draco? Pansy?” Her mouth dropped open to the two who were lying on the ground, apparently snogging something fierce. They both looked up.

“They’re snogging?” gasped Harry in surprise. “So the author does have a conscience after all. Learn something new every day.”

“We’re not snogging,” said Pansy feebly. “We were…um….” But she failed to think of anything else.

“How’d you get here before us?” asked Hermione, curiously.

“And past the Restraining Charm?” added Harry.

“Magic,” said Pansy simply. Hermione rolled her eyes.

“You know, you could do a lot better, Pansy,” said Hermione.

“Than Draco?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t appreciate you.”

“I do too,” cut in Draco. “Well, I would, if there was something to be appreciated.”

“I would stay out of this conversation,” said Harry.

“He doesn’t,” said Pansy, thoughtfully.

“Not like Harry or anything. But nobody’s like Harry,” continued Hermione, not realizing Harry was bright red and sitting right next to her.

“He’s one in million,” said Pansy, “isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” said Hermione.

“I don’t think I could stand another one,” sneered Draco. Harry stood up and walked over to Malfoy, taking him by the arm and dragging him around the corner he and Hermione had just come from. There was a moment of silence while Hermione and Pansy swooned and then Harry came back around the corner, alone this time.

“Where’s Draco?” asked Pansy.

“He…ah…had to go to the Hospital Wing,” faltered Harry. “It was his…um…stomach I think.”

“You know, that could look really wrong,” sighed Hermione. “You and Malfoy going off together. Not that it is,” she amended, seeing Harry’s look. Suddenly she turned stern in an uncanny impression of Professor McGonagall. “Now, Harry. What did you do to him? You know you can’t just go around fisting people.”

“It was Malfoy,” said Harry defensively.

“Let him off, Hermione,” said Pansy. “He deserved it.” She turned to Harry. “Thank you, Harry, dear.” Harry began to back away as she advanced on him. “You know, Hermione’s right. You are one in a million. You’re absolutely wonderful. And I could do a lot better. Like you, in fact.” She had backed poor Harry into a corner and he was looking rather disgusted. Hermione stood up.

“Don’t you dare you pug-faced git!” she screamed. Pansy turned around and Harry slipped away, grabbed Hermione’s hand, and ran.

The next day was the start of Beat Up On Malfoy Week. The students hadn’t quite forgiven him and Hermione for getting them detentions of scrubbing the entire castle and had been organizing the day for at least a week. Every person in the castle knew of it except for Malfoy and every person was quite willing to participate. Several students had already beaten him to a pulp but they were mostly Slytherins without any common sense and no patience. The school had been able to bond over this week and they were one force against one person.

The week started off with the first year pranks. They mostly put charms on him that changed his clothes to different colors. Someone put red and gold stripes down his back with blue and yellow sleeves. Then the second years had their turn. Dungbombs charmed to go off in his dresser. Someone had even gotten them in his shoes so that he smelled all day. The third years were a bit more advanced, but not much. They put spells on his food to make it taste like avocados. The fourth years each had a bucket of Fred and George’s newest product which they had gotten wholesale when they had heard what it was for. It turned anyone’s skin a warty brown for a full day the second it touched. The fourth years would come up behind him unexpectedly and dump a bucket or so of it over his head. The fifth years made a pact to hurl a curse at him any time they saw him which was quite effective. The sixth years had their day where they found a spell to make him have hallucinations and hear voices for a full day. Somehow he ended up in the lake, thanks to a charging rhino of some sort that no one else could see.

The end of the sixth day found a soggy Draco wading his way into the Great Hall for dinner.

“This week has been like Hell,” he said.

“I’m pretty sure that was the idea,” remarked Pansy. Draco scowled. “And you still haven’t gotten the seventh year punishment.”

“What?! They’re doing this in shifts?”

“Yep. And our prank will be the best. Just you wait.”

The next day dawned bright and early. Very early for a certain blond someone. Two o’ clock found Draco being marched onto the Hogwarts’ ground by several disgruntled seventh years. It was cold outside that early and Malfoy couldn’t remember waking up, nor could he remember putting on that skimpy negligee that he was wearing.

“We’re going to have a carnival!” exclaimed one seventh year whose face he could not make out in the dark.

“It should be fun,” muttered Malfoy. “Can I back to bed now?”

“But, Draco,” said a very Pansy-like voice, “you’re our star.”

He felt himself being lowered into something that felt much like a guillotine. Then they left, leaving Draco wandless and hunched over in a block of wood. When the Sun came up, he found that the block of wood said “one Knut per try,” though that was all he could read. After when he supposed was breakfast, the school came parading out onto the lawn. He could hear noises behind him that sounded like a piñata being broken open. After a while, a few students came over to where he was and saw the sign. One eagerly dropped a Knut into a jar and a pie appeared in front of him. Banana cream. The only thing Draco remembered after that was that the Gryffindor Quidditch Team all had incredible arms and that Dumbledore seemed to be a fan of banana cream pies. He also seemed to have a lot of Knuts (no pun intended). As the day went on, Pansy came over to him. She dropped in a coin and as the pie appeared, she picked it up and twirled it around for a moment.

“You know, sometimes the best pranks are the ones without magic,” she said very nonchalantly. “And the best part is yet to come,” And then there was a very white creaminess flying at his eyes and she was gone.