Interview with the Half-Blood Prince

Noelle (Reporter)- Hello. I’m Noelle Eyre and I’m here with the very elusive half-blood Prince.

Prince- Hello, I just love the show. I’m so glad I could be here.

(The Prince seems to be dressed in drag. He is wearing a lilac dress, a wig, and sunglasses.)

Noelle- You may have noticed for contract reasons the half-blood Prince has altered his appearance and voice.

Prince- The publishers feel that if my identity is known not as many books will sell. In my experience when my name appears on the cover of the book, they just start flying off the shelves.

Noelle- So you feel the publishers are wrong in making you keep your identity a secret.

Prince- No, I don’t think they’re completely wrong. I just think that more books will sell if my identity was known. I think that J. K. Rowling wants my identity to be a surprise. The smart fans have already guessed that it is me.

(The Prince smiles. It is one of the most amazing smiles I’ve ever seen.)

Noelle- . . . Do you write books?

Prince- I do write books, but I’m not permitted to say their titles. However I can tell you about the book I am currently writing.

Noelle- What are you currently writing?

Prince- I am currently writing an autobiography called The Times and Trials of, Me: The Half-Blood Prince . It’s a must read for all Harry Potter fans.

Noelle- I interviewed the famous trio last week. Do you know them?

Prince- Of course I know Harry and his friends. We’re old chums. I’ve known them since I was their . . .

Tom(Prince’s Lawyer)- The publishers on the phone he says to not finish that sentence and that you are revealing too much.

Prince- What does he think of my costume?

Tom- He says you look ridiculous. He wants to know why your in drag?

Prince- This isn’t drag this is one of my best robes.

Tom- Why are they lilac?

Prince- It’s my favorite color!

Noelle- Hem . . . Hem. I think we should continue with the interview. Have you appeared in any of the other books of the Harry Potter series?

Prince- I have to consult my lawyer. May I answer the question?

Tom- Yes, the publisher gives you the thumbs up.

Prince- I appear in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Noelle- Did you have an important role in either of the books?

Prince- I feel that my role in both of the books was very important. I feel that my role in both of the books was just as important as the trio’s roles if not more important. I am the Prince after all.

Noelle- So you believe you are one of the most important characters.

Prince- I don’t believe, I know.

Noelle- Have you ever met J. K. Rowling?

Prince- Yes, I have met her. I thought that she was quite lovely. She said that I reminded her of one of her friends. I’d say probably her best friend.

Noelle- Can you tell us anything about your role in the next book?

Prince- I have the most important role in the up coming book. You may say I’m the one who kills You-Know-Who by . . .

Tom- What are you talking about Gilderoy?!!?

(The Prince or rather Gilderoy Lockhart, seems to be in a state of shock.)

Gilderoy- I can’t believe it. You said my name . . .

( Tom seems to be trying to calm down the publisher who is on the phone. It appears he isn’t having much luck with that by the apparent screams being emitted by his phone)

Gilderoy- Tom . . . I have to fire you. I may be sued because of what you just revealed.

Tom- The publisher said that really you did nothing wrong. Would you like to talk to him?

Gilderoy- Yes . . .

(Gilderoy takes the phone. He then goes into a remote corner of the studio and rips off both the wig and sunglasses. After a few tense moments of talking on the phone, Gilderoy goes over to the camera with his wand out.)

Gilderoy- Obliviate!

(Unfortunately for Gilderoy the camera’s lense was made of glass. The spell he intended for the audience had bounced off the lense and hit him instead.)

Noelle- Are you okay?

Gilderoy- Who are you?

Noelle- Could someone contact Saint Mungos?

Intern- I’ll send them an owl.

Noelle- . . . What a revelation?!!? Well good-bye world, see you next week when I interview a painting of the four founders of our favorite school of witchcraft and wizardry.