Magic, Mischief and Mayhem

If someone had been standing in the front foyer of the Black household in Swindon, Wiltshire, a black, blue, green, red, multi-coloured thing would have been seen tumbling down the stairs. "Oof! Ouch! Yeek!" cried the thing as it tumbled down the fifteen stairs. Finally, after a few moments, it ended up on the floor and stopped. Only because it had hit the wall and had nowhere to go.

"Damn!" cried the thing that had fallen down the stairs. Although now, it didn't look so much like a thing. It looked more like a boy. A boy with rather shaggy black hair that was in desperate need of a decent cut, tanned skin, sparkling grey eyes, who was wearing a pair of pants that looked as if a tie-dye machine had exploded on them. The red and blue striped shirt as well as the black jacket he was wearing seemed to add to the riot of colours.

"Sirius Black!" yelled a voice from upstairs. The black-haired boy looked up to see a woman with the same eyes and hair as him. She had her hands on her hips and her lips were pressed in a thin line, showing how angry she was, "What have I told you about swearing in this house?"

"Oh, sure," Sirius grumbled as he picked himself up and dusted imaginary dust off his extremely colourful clothing, "Your only son just fell down the stairs and all you complain about is swearing. Fine mother you are." He assumed the same pose as the woman at the top of the stairs, right down to the facial expression.

Asha Black sighed and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Sirius, could you try not to be a klutz?"

"But what fun is that?" Sirius asked, brown eyes wide with angelic innocence that fooled no one who knew him. He scowled. "Anyway, Alcy shouldn't leave her stupid toys lying around," he countered, pointing to a doll lying on the step third from the top.

"Alcyone!" called Asha, facing upwards, to the second floor. Almost instantly, a small, black-haired girl no more than four years old appeared on the landing.

"Yes?" she asked, twirling a lock of her brown hair.

"Your doll, I believe," Asha picked up the toy and held it out to her youngest child.

"Hesha!" squealed the girl excitedly, snatching up the doll into a hug.

At the bottom of the stairs, Sirius pretended to gag. When his mother shot him a sharp look, he pretended to be whistling and leaned against the door.

Bad idea.

Wham! went the door as it flung into Sirius's back. He went flying forward and hit the staircase.

"Daaaamnnn...." he mumbled through the carpeting that was pressed into his face.

"Sirius!" Asha said sharply, narrowing her eyes. "Next time you swear, I will bloody hex you into oblivion." That said, she turned to the person who had just thrown open the door and slammed it with an equally destructive force. Almost immediately, a weary look came over the woman's face. "What is it now, Polaris?"

Standing in front of the door, where Sirius had stood moments ago was a seventeen-year-old girl. Her arms were folded across the front of her black shirt and her face was set in a scowl that seemed like it could melt metal. Her dark brown hair was wild, as if she had been running and her cheeks had the distinctive tinge of red anger.

"That- that, thing!" Polaris Black hissed, her blue eyes darkened to almost black.

"I think you'll have to be more specific than that," Sirius muttered, getting up off the carpet. He cowered under his older sister's glare. "Sorry."

"Lucius Malfoy!" Polaris snapped, her expression darkening more, "He was hitting on me, again!"

"Now, dear, just try to calm down." Asha said, hurrying down the stairs to try and soothe her enraged daughter.

"Why didn't you just hex his arse off?" Sirius asked, making sure he stayed out of his sister's arm range.

"I tried!" Polaris growled, glaring at her younger brother, "but he shoved his stupid brother Dobby in the way!"

"Oh dear, oh dear," Asha said, biting her lip. She asked, slightly nervously, "What did you do to the poor boy?"

"Turned him into a house elf," Polaris replied promptly, folding her arms. She ducked around her mother and stormed up the stairs, grumbling about the trajectories of her spells.

"I swear, one of these days, she is going to get herself into some serious trouble." Asha shook her head. In doing so, she caught sight of the clock that hung on the wall. Instantly, her expression became one of panic. "Oh dear sweet Merlin, no!"

"What is it, mum?" Sirius called as his mother hurried up the stairs.

"I'm going to be late for work! Douglas is going to kill me!" came the reply as a door slammed somewhere upstairs. "And close the front door, Sirius! You're letting in the flies."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," muttered Sirius as he swung the door closed. He, too, started to walk up the stairs but was stopped by an indignant hooting. Turning around, Sirius saw a grey owl sitting on the dresser in the front hallway. A big grin spread across the dark haired boy's face as he leapt down the few steps he had started to climb. He took the letter that the owl clutched and then turned to yell back up the stairs.

"Mu-um!"

"What is it now, Sirius?" Asha asked, her voice slightly muffled by the door.

"My Hogwarts letter is here!" Sirius called up gleefully, tearing the letter open.

Asha Black then let forth a string of expletives that gave her absolutely no right to tell her son not to swear. Sirius remained silent, with a devilish grin on his face as he read the letter.

"Mummy?" his face transformed into the image of angelic innocence the minute his mother walked down the stairs.

Asha sent him a look that clearly stated that she did not want to be bothered now. "What?"

"Don't swear," Sirius said authoritatively, "and you have to take me to Diagon Alley."

"Get Elisabeth to take you," Asha said, trying to smooth her hair back into a somewhat decent bun at the nape of her neck. It wasn't really good for a person who worked at the Regulation and Registration of Magical Creatures section of the Ministry of Magic to have their hair loose. Merlin only knew what was going to happen.

"But you promised!" Sirius insisted, making big, baleful puppy-dog eyes at her. "I've got the letter and supplies list."

"Here!" Asha disappeared back into her bedroom for a moment and returned with a small sack. She tossed it down the stairs to her son. "Now go get Elisabeth to take you when she takes James to Diagon Alley."

"Fine," Sirius said, trying his best to sound and look like he was feeling very dejected.

"Sirius? No causing trouble," Asha added. She glanced down at her watch. "Oh, stars! I am so late! Douglas is going to feed me to the Manticore!" she muttered. She took out her wand and was about to Apparate.

"You have a Manticore?" Sirius asked, instantly intrigued.

"No." Asha began to prepare to Apparate, but was once again interrupted.

"Mummy?" Sirius asked innocently...well, as innocently as he could.

"What?" Asha fixed her son with a look that clearly stated if she didn't get to work, Sirius wouldn't be in any shape to go to Diagon Alley.

"Could you bring me home a pet Hippogriff?" he asked.

"When you bring home a werewolf as a friend," Asha said, rolling her eyes. "Now, scoot over to James's. I've got to go." With that, she waved her wand and Disapparated.

Sirius rushed out of his house, into the backyard that his family and their next door neighbours, the Potters, shared. He ran through the backdoor of the Potter house at full speed. This caused the screen door to be sent banging back on its hinges.

Unfortunately for Sirius, that door must have been opened violently one too many times. It fell off its hinges and banged against the wall. Then it toppled to the ground.

"Oops," Sirius said sheepishly, looking down at the door which now lay at his feet.

"Reparo," a voice called from the couch. A tip of a wand surfaced and the door instantly was repaired.

"Hey, Sirius!" another voice called and a hand waved to him, also from the couch.

Sirius bounded over and vaulted into a nearby chair. He put the letter from Hogwarts and the supply list on the arm of the chair, along with the bag of money. "What'cha watching?" he inquired curiously. The three Potter brothers were very fond of watching whatever was on the television set that their Muggle-born mother had bought them.

"Shush. Aki on screen," Thomas Potter said, his eyes glued to the screen. At age seventeen, he was the eldest Potter brother and had graduated from Hogwarts just over a month ago.

"Yeah," the youngest Potter brother, at age seven, Eric echoed. He had a tendency to repeat everything his older brothers said. Which caused for some annoyances at times.

"Help yourself to the ice cream," James spoke up, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

Sirius got up from his chair and made his way into the kitchen where Elisabeth Potter sat, reading over several sheets of paper. She worked as a lawyer for a Muggle law firm, even though she was a witch. It was odd for wizards and witches to work for Muggle companies, but not unheard-of. Elisabeth claimed she liked working this way because it was more of a challenge.

"Ice cream's behind the chicken, Sirius," she said, not even looking up from her papers.

"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," Sirius said. He opened the freezer door and indeed, the chocolate ice cream was there, hidden behind the chicken. He took it out and grabbed the ice cream scoop, a spoon and a bowl before making his way back to the living room to join in watching You Only Live Twice.

"Got your Hogwarts letter?" James asked, taking the ice cream carton from Sirius once he was done with it. He also grabbed the ice cream scoop and took a large chunk of ice cream out of the carton and began eating the chocolate frozen goodness right off of the ice cream scoop.

"Uh-huh," Sirius managed to get out around a mouthful of melting ice cream.

"Good, then you can go to Diagon Alley now," Elisabeth said, coming in from the kitchen. She had a pen perched over her ear and a few ink smudges on her cheeks. She strode over and purposely turned off the television set.

Which caused a chorus of groans to well up in the room.

"Mum!" Thomas was properly outraged. "You have no right to be turning off the television set in the middle of a James Bond movie!"

"Really?" Elisabeth Potter raised an eyebrow. She also collected the carton of ice cream from James. "You're going school shopping."

"School shopping?" James and Thomas asked at the same time. However, their tones were extremely different. James's voice was full of excitement while Thomas's was of the "No, no, get it away!" kind.

"Yes," Elisabeth said, closing up the carton of ice cream and setting it on top of the now off television set. "Sirius has the money he needs and I assume he has his list," here, she held out a piece of parchment similar to the one Sirius had resting beside him on the arm of the chair beside the bag of money.

"I want to go too, Mum," Eric piped up.

"You're too young," James directed at him.

"Well, now that that's settled, Thomas, you'll take James and Sirius to Diagon Alley," Elisabeth said with a smile.

"Mum!" Thomas exclaimed, his voice full of all the complaints he probably couldn't find words to express.

"Thomas, you're taking them. I have work to finish," Elisabeth said sternly. Thomas only grumbled in reply, but got up off of the chair.

"Come on then, Jamie-boy," Thomas said, walking over to the fireplace that was across the room.

"Don't call me that," James snapped, trying to flatten his hair. Much to his annoyance, it never lay flat.

"Jamie-boy," Thomas only continued the taunt as his mother handed him a bad of money.

"Tommy," James retaliated, causing Thomas's expression to darken.

"Be nice, boys," Elisabeth ordered as she handed James his supply list, then disappeared into the kitchen.

"Come on, then," Thomas snapped, grabbing a small jar off of the mantle of the fireplace. "Incendio," he pointed his wand and cast the spell. Instantly, a fire lit up in the grate. He then grabbed a handful of Floo powder, then threw it in the fireplace. "Diagon Alley!" The flames, now hued green, shot up as Thomas stepped into the fireplace and disappeared.

"And no going into Knockturn Alley!" Sirius heard Elisabeth Potter call from the kitchen.

"Damn," James snapped his fingers before grabbing a handful of Floo powder. He then stepped into the fireplace. "Diagon Alley!"

With a woosh and an explosion of green flames, James was gone. Sirius tucked the supply list into his money bag, then grabbed a handful of Floo powder. He hopped into the fireplace, barely avoiding hitting his head on the mantle and let the Floo powder fall. "Diagon Alley!"

Travelling by Floo powder was one of Sirius Black's favourite things to do. He found it amusing the way he twisted and turned as the network carried him through the different routes until the one he was supposed to get to. Also, he liked the end part where he shot out of the fireplace. Usually, he knocked someone over, something that was always good for a laugh at their surprise.

"Oof!" came the noise as Sirius shot out of the fireplace, feet first. As was expected, he knocked someone over. And that someone happened to be his best friend.

"Warn me next time, will you," James said good-naturedly as he helped Sirius up. After doing that, James began to clean the soot off of his glasses. That was one thing that he hated about travelling by Floo powder. His glasses usually got all dirty, or on occasion, broke.

"Come on," Thomas said, somewhat impatiently. He was leaning against the wall by the fireplace, tossing the bag of money up and down as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"Ollivander's first," Sirius said, taking out his own list and looking at it.

UNIFORM
First year students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon's hide or similar)
4. One winter cloak (any colour acceptable, metal fastenings)
5. One robe sash (any colour acceptable)

COURSE BOOKS
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1 by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
A History of the Dark Arts by Kurai Akuno

OTHER EQUIPMENT
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass crystal phials
1 set brass scales
1 telescope

Students may also bring an owl, cat, toad, or any other small animal.

PARENTS SHOULD REMEMBER THAT FIRST YEAR STUDENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS.

"Aw, we're not allowed to bring broomsticks?" James moaned at the outrage of that. "But I wanted to play Quidditch!"

Thomas merely rolled his eyes as they entered the bustling street of Diagon Alley. "Are you sure you want to go to Ollivander's first?" he asked. "It might be the busiest place now."

"Statistics show that the bookshop is usually the busiest at the beginning of the school year," Sirius piped up, pointing over to Flourish and Blotts, which indeed, was bustling with business. "I second the motion that we go to the wand shop."

"Fine," Thomas caved in. He seemed to become convinced that if he let Sirius and James pick the shops to go in, the time would go by faster. Of course, this was Sirius Black and James Potter, two of the best - or worst, depending on your point of view - troublemakers on the British side of the Atlantic ocean.

"Yes!" James punched his fist in the air. He ran out of the Floo station with Sirius right behind him. Thomas sighed and hurried after the two boys, hoping that they wouldn't cause too much trouble.

Of course, that was something that would never happen.

Even on the way through the crowd, Sirius and James had managed to trip three people and completely turn one person around so that the spell they were aiming at someone hit another person. They snickered at that, then pushed their way through to where Ollivander's was. Once they were through the door, James stopped suddenly.

"Um, an emphatic no," the bespectacled boy said, immediately turning to go to the door.

"Why?" Sirius asked, catching his arm. "We're getting wands for Merlin's sake, James! We're finally getting wands!"

"I'm ashamed that a pure blood would be acting so excited about getting a wand." This was a snotty voice, to be sure. Sirius turned around to see that he and James weren't the only ones in Ollivander's shop. Granted, Mr. Ollivander was there, with his creepily too-pale eyes, but there was someone around his and James's age there. This new person also had black hair, but his was longer - yes, even longer than Sirius's, who, as was stated earlier, in desperate need of a hair trim - and slightly greasier. The boy had sallow skin, as if he didn't get out in the sun much. And, oh yes, he was dressed like a bat and had a scowl that seemed permanently etched on his face.

"And who are you?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by this new person who clearly thought he could make his way in the world with snarky comments.

"Severus Snape," the boy said coolly as he waved a wand around lazily. Sparks flew out of the end and Mr. Ollivander clapped gleefully.

"That's the one, Mr. Snape," the shopkeeper said, taking the wand from Severus Snape and placing it in a box. He then handed it to the greasy haired boy who, in exchange, handed him a few Galleons and Sickles.

As soon as Severus had left the shop, Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm ashamed that a pure blood would be acting so excited about getting a wand," he mimicked, in a higher pitched version of Snape's voice, much to James's amusement.

"Ah, who is first?" Mr Ollivander turned his attention to them now. It didn't really matter who was first, as by the end of an hour, both Sirius and James had their wands. As they walked out of Ollivander's after paying for the wands, they seemed to take great fun in shooting sparks at each other. Of course, this caused James's shirt to acquire a new hole, but it was all in good fun.

"There you are!" Thomas Potter's voice rang out as the male himself hurried up to the two boys. "Took you long enough," he snapped. "And don't worry, I've got your stuff from the Apothecary. You just need to pay me back, Sirius."

"Well, James needs to pay me back for his wand, so we can sort all of this money stuff out later." Sirius decided, grabbing onto James's arm as James retrieved the money bag from his older brother. He pointed to the extremely crowded bookstore. "Next stop, Flourish and Blotts. I'd ask us to refrain from trying out our new wands, but as we are who we are, that's highly unlikely."

Much to the annoyance of the eldest Potter brother, the two soon-to-be-first years hurried off into the crowd to the bookstore. Thomas just gave up and snagged a spot at a table in Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour to wait for his sibling and friend.

However, the crowd was just the thing Sirius and James were hoping for. Crowds always added an air of excitement to things. Especially when the things involved are books and they were throwing them back and forth across the shop. Of course, this was strictly in the interest of acquiring the required spell books for their first year. But the loud conversation that involved them shouting back and forth, really did not.

"So, did you know that kid in Ollivander's?" Sirius yelled as he climbed up on a ladder and grabbed two copies of A History of the Dark Arts. He tossed them one by one to James, making sure that he didn't hit anyone in the throng of people.

"Unfortunately," James called back as he added the books to the stacks he was collecting. "I met him at one of my dad's work's Christmas parties. He's really annoying and stupid and just plain git-ish."

"Git-ish?" Sirius asked loudly, sitting down on the top rung of the ladder and looking down at his list. He scanned the book titles around him and discovered that the nearest book on the list was down the shelf away. So he stood up and propelled himself along the shelf, using his foot to push himself off of the books. This earned him a glare from one of the attendants who worked in the store. In reply, Sirius just flashed a smile.

"Yeah," James said, folding his arms and looking around. "He had one of the most annoying laughs."

"Like what?" Sirius asked as he stuffed the list back into his pocket. He and James were well aware that they were annoying several people, but they really didn't care. It was humorous, in a twisted way. He grabbed a couple copies of Adalbert Waffling's Magical Theory and waited for James's answer.

"Well, it's like," James stopped and cleared his throat. The next noise to escape his lips was a high-pitched horrible laugh, sounding much like "Ohohohoho!", except much shriller than it should have normally been.

"Stop that!" Sirius yelped, quite frightened by the noise. He chucked both copies of the book at James simultaneously. However, James only caught one. The other one's journey through the air was stopped by the head of a blonde girl.

"Oww!" the girl yelped loudly. Immediately, three people surrounded her. Two looked to be her parents and there was a quite petite girl with red hair who didn't seem at all concerned. After a moment of attempting to look concerned, she strode over to where the ladder holding up Sirius was.

"'Scuse me," the girl with the red hair said, smiling angelically. It was at this point in time that Sirius noticed the wand in the pocket of her blue jeans.

"Erm, yes?" Sirius smiled back at her, doing his best impersonation of an angel as well. Inwardly, he hoped that this girl wasn't about to hex the pants off of him.

"I'd like to thank you for hitting my sister with that book," the red-haired girl said. "She's really quite insufferable and it's about time she was hit over the head with a heavy object. I only wish it could have been me." With that, the girl turned and skipped back to where her assumed family was. Sirius gaped after her.

"Hey! What's your name?" he called. The red-haired girl turned to look at him again while James was busy apologizing to the parents of the girl he had hit. In all actuality, the parents were rather bewildered.

"Lily Evans," the girl replied, as she followed her disgruntled sister and confused parents to the cash register to pay for her books. Sirius, meanwhile, climbed down from the ladder and made his way to where James was standing with the books, a look of mortification on his face.

"So, off to Madame Malkin's now?" Sirius asked cheerfully as they pushed through the crowd to the register to pay for their purchases.

"I am never shopping with you again!" James said reverently, glancing around the crowd, half expecting that Sirius would chuck another book at someone's head.

"That's what you think, Jamie-boy," Sirius said gleefully.

An hour later, the boys were done with their school shopping. Which was a good thing, as Thomas Potter was at the end of his rope. But Sirius and James were now fully prepared to begin their first year at Hogwarts.

Which was either a very good or very bad thing, depending on the way you looked at it.