Big Beard is watching me

Harry couldn't wait.

All alone for eight weeks with nine other people aged between fourteen and eighteen; none of them that knew him. It was a chance to be free - a chance to be anyone other than the 'Boy Who Lived'. Packing his one suitcase was easy; it wasn't as if he had many decent clothes of his own. Making room for the photo album of his parents Hagrid had given him had been a sinch. Harry was ready. He picked up his case and literally ran into the famous Big Brother house.

"Hello Housem-"

He froze in shock and there was silence until a shrewd voice at the back of the room broke it saying,

"Oh no! Not another one..."

***

Harry dropped his bag.

"Malfoy!" he cried.

"Potter!" Draco mimicked sarcastically.

"Ginny!"

"Harry!"

"Ron!"

"Harry!"

"Yeah, yeah," Blaise Zabini interrupted, "We get the idea."

"Cho!" Harry cried, ignoring Blaise.

"Harry!"

"Hermione!"

"Harry!"

"George!"

"Larry!"

They stared at him.

"What? Why shouldn't I be different?"

Harry shrugged.

"No greeting for me?" Fred asked, feigning hurt.

"Yeah," said Padma Patil, unenthusiastically, "Do I not get a 'Padma!'? Oh woes."

Harry moved over to the sofa area and sat down, abandoning his bags by the door.

"Do they know they've got ten students from Hogwarts?" he asked.

"Yep," said Blaise, "What's so interesting about ten kids stuck in a house together? They had to come up with a gimmick so we're all witches."

"Or wizards," Fred added.

"Same difference," Blaise retorted with a shrug.

"I'd have thought you of all people would know, Blaise," said Ron, tactfully. "You do know the difference between male and female?"

Blaise was shocked. "Of course I do!"

"Could you give us a specific example of how you are different from the opposite gender?"

"What exactly are we supposed to do here for the rest of the day?" Harry asked, cutting Blaise short.

"Get used the surroundings," Cho offered helpfully.

"Unpack," added Ginny.

"Bond," Draco spat.

"Choose who gets the single room," said Hermione, simply.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"There's a single room?" they said simultaneously, then hated themselves for it.

"Yes," explained Hermione, "I was here first and I got to look around. We've got a Jacuzzi, chickens, a diary room and three bedrooms. A five, a four and a single."

There was a moment where everybody froze. Then a longer moment where everyone was up and going. Everyone made a rush for the door of the third bedroom, willingly elbowing, clawing, pushing and even kicking to be the first to get there. Ginny, being the smallest, weaved her way through the crowd, ducking under Harry and Draco who were trying to strangle each other in the doorframe. She thrust herself forward only to be knocked away mid flight by Blaise.

"Yes!" Blaise cried, "In your face! I am the champion! Loser! La-hoo-ser-her!"

Blaise turned and started dancing smugly in front of the others. They glared back while rubbing their various injuries. Cho was nursing a bruised arm, Padma was covering a would-be black eye, Fred was on the floor, clutching his shin, Ron was rubbing life back in to his trodden on fingers and Hermione was leaning against a wall recovering from having the wind knocked out of her by George in his hurry. Three people weren't paying attention. George was apologising to Hermione and Draco and Harry were still trying to strangle each other by any means possible. Apparently the fact that the original cause of the fight had been taken did not put an end to a perfectly good opportunity to slaughter each other. It just changed the objective.

Cho grabbed Harry's collar and pulled him away from Draco. Padma did the same to Draco.

"Will you two stop it?" Cho cried, "Acting like this, no one will want to be stuck here for eight weeks with you. At least I don't."

Harry stopped wriggling and his mouth fell open.

"You don't want me to be here!" he gasped, "Don't you like me, Cho?"

Cho let go of him and rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Harry."

She turned on her heel and left.

"Smooth move, Potter," Draco smirked.

Ron rushed forward to seize his best friend before he managed to get hold of Draco and bang his head against the wall.

Blaise glared at the crowd. "Could you move this little get together away from my door? I want to unpack my unisex coveralls."

***

Hermione and Ginny were leaning against the sideboard in the kitchen, chatting animatedly. Hermione had turned on the kettle and they were passing the time, waiting for it to boil.

"I knew I should never have come," said Hermione.

"Oh come on," said Ginny, "It'll be an experience we'll never forget!"

"No," Hermione mused, "I don't suppose I'll ever forget this. Has Ron let go of Malfoy yet? How long has he been at it?"

"Three days on and off, ever since the 'Stupider than Neville and that's saying something' comment," Ginny replied, "And no. Harry's still cheering him on and Padma has given up trying to stop them. George promised he'd tell me if one of them passed out. Imagine it! I finally get away and I have to spend a week with three of my brothers."

"Eight weeks," Hermione corrected.

"One week," Ginny repeated, "One of them will be gone by the end of the week."

"How can you be sure?" Hermione asked, "It could just as easily be you or me."

"Ron will go first," Ginny continued, ignoring her. "He's just so boring. No real appeal. Unless he falls in love with someone of course."

"Ron's unconscious!" George called out from across the room.

"Good!" Ginny called back.

"Now Padma's kicking him in the stomach and Harry has taken over strangling Malfoy."

"I baggsies strangling Harry if Draco faints," Blaise called out looking up from reading their weekly challenge card in the sitting area.

"I get Blaise," Padma called out.

"What if Potty faints fir-uurrgcjh," Draco croaked.

"I strangle you," Hermione said.

"Awww," Fred moaned, "I wanted to."

"You can have him after Hermione faints," George pointed out.

"I get Fred!" called Cho, coming in from feeding the chickens.

Everyone, including Harry and Draco still strangling each other, turned and stared.

"What?" Cho asked innocently, "He knocked me off my broom last time we played Quidditch."

Everybody shrugged, or in some cases continued to murder each other - this seemed to be acceptable. On the ground Ron twitched.

"I get Draco if he beats Fred," said Ginny.

"Oooh yeah," Draco coughed, "I'd love to have your hands round my neck, Ginny."

Fred and George jumped forward to defend their sister.

"One at a time! One at a time!"

"I hate to spoil the fun," said Hermione, who really did want to since no one seemed to think it was likely that she could take on Draco. "But shouldn't we be getting on with our weekly challenge? We did gamble quite a lot of our weekly shopping money on it."

"Despite my warning," said Padma, "that we don't know anything about each other. I tried telling you that we'd never be able to do it - but oh, no! The goodie Gryffindors know everything about each other. Well what about us Ravenclaws, eh? Can any of you tell me my middle name, ay?"

"You don't have one," Cho pointed out.

"Oh yeah!" said Padma, turning on her, "Tell them why don't you?"

Ginny wandered over to her unconscious brother as everyone went to sit down in the sitting area and kicked him. He twitched. She kicked him again and continued to kick him until he got up and stopped her.

"You could have stopped when I said 'All right, I'm awake'," he pointed out.

Ginny shrugged. "Could have; didn't. It was more fun that way."

They joined the others on the sofa where Hermione was taking charge.

"Right," she said, "Middle names are a good place to start."

"I think a better place to start would be Gender," Ron interrupted," What gender are you Blaise?"

"Ron," said Blaise, "How long have we known each other?"

"Well I've known of you for about four years. But I don't really know you very well at all."

"Then what gives you the right to ask such personal questions?"

"I just-"

"My middle name is Elizabeth," Hermione cut across, pulling the group back to business.

"Mine's Maya," said Ginny.

"James," said Harry.

"Well duh, Potter," sneered Draco.

"What's yours then?" queried Cho, "Colubra?"

She giggled. Everybody blinked at her.

"It's Latin. It means snake. You know, because his first name is Latin and means Drag- oh, forget it. You people know nothing."

"Thomas," said Draco, "With a H, and don't you forget it."

"Thom-as," Fred lisped, sniggering.

"Oh, shut up Fred," snapped Ginny, "Yours is Elliot."

Draco scoffed.

"This is getting out of hand," said Hermione, "Maybe we should just write down a bunch of information about ourselves, fears, best birthday present, weirdest dream and all that, and everyone can swap and read each other's."

"Didn't even get round to me." Ron sulked.

***

"And finally," stated Big Brother, "What is Hermione allergic to?"

"Bee stings," Padma replied quickly, with a grin.

"Correct," said Big Brother, "Congratulations Padma, you have answered all your questions correctly."

"Yes!" Padma punched the air.

"Could you now leave the diary room."

Padma opened the door and walked out, looking smug. She flopped down on the sofa and began examining her nails, smiling in a know-it-all way.

"Ron," said Big Brother, "Could you please now come to the diary room."

"Good luck," called Harry.

"Luck," said Ron, "With my brains I don't need luck."

"Ha!" cried Ginny.

Ron glared at her and walked in to the diary room. The others looked around at each other.

"You know," said Cho, after a while. "Ginny does have a good point."

***

"Ron," said Big Brother, "After the performance of your housemates you need to answer all these questions right for you to win the weekly challenge and get the money."

"Oakily doakily."

"What is Blaise's middle name?"

"Ashley."

"When is Draco's birthday?"

"January 14th."

"What was Padma's best birthday present?"

"Her watch on her twelfth birthday."

"What type of broom does Cho wish she had?"

"A Springshine exactly like her cousins but with her name painted on it in blue. Her favourite colour might I add."

"And finally, what is Ginny's real, full length first name?"

"Oh, easy," laughed Ron, "I'm her brother! Of course I know that!"

"Just answer the question, Ron."

"It's-" Ron froze. "It's... um... well it's... What is it? We just call her Ginny or Gin. I can't remember her christening! How am I supposed to know?"

"Is that your answer?"

"No! No. I can get this. Ginny... Ginny... Ginny. Um... Ginina? Nina? Gina?"

"Is that your answer?"

"Will you hold on one second? Sheesh. A guy doesn't get time to think here. Um... Ginny. Ginny. Virginia!" Ron hit himself on the forehead. "Of course! Stupid Ron. Virginia. See? I told you I knew."

"That is... wrong."

Ron's mouth fell open.

"Ron, you got four out of five. Could you now please leave the diary room."

Still shell-shocked, Ron stumbled out of the diary room.

"What happened?"

He looked up to see Harry looking at him, concerned. He pointed vaguely at Ginny who stared back at him, shocked and confused. Ron fell sideways on to the sofa, collapsing with a minimum amount of effort. George and Fred looked at each other before covering up their brother with a sheet.

"Housemates," said big brother, "I'm afraid you lost this week's challenge. You now only have half of your money for this week's shopping."

The others turned to Ron, angrily.

"Well done smart arse," said Draco, "What did you do?"

"Virginia," Ron mumbled in to the sofa from under his sheet.

Hermione somehow managed to look both concerned and confused at the same time. "Did you have some kind of test on the states of America?"

"Virginia!" Ron cried, sitting up and pointing. "Virginia." He cried. "She's Virginia! She should be!"

George blinked at his brother and pointed to himself.

"A," he said, "I'm a he. B, I'm George."

Ron grunted and removed the sheet from his head. He turned so he was pointing at Ginny.

"What's your real full name?" he demanded manically.

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"For crying out loud, Ron," she said, "I'm your only sister and you don't even know that?"

"No!" Ron shouted, waving his arm violently. "What is it?"

Ginny backed away, frightened by her youngest brother's behaviour.

"G-Ginger."

"Which is why she shortened it," explained George, "Because she has ginger hair..."

George trailed off as he saw the expression on Ron's face. He looked extremely pained and he closed his eyes. He fell over again in the same nearly dead way. Fred bent forward and prodded him. He didn't move. Draco turned to Blaise.

"So do we just punch him or cover him with the sheet first?"

***

"George! We could barely afford very much food on our budget as it is," Everyone shot Ron a dirty look. "Will you stop eating bananas?!"

George looked up at Hermione guiltily. "But I hear that if you want to stay in then you need appeal."

The housemates groaned.

"Hehe?" Ron suggested.

His brothers glared at him and shuffled away.

Cho and Draco were sat on the sofa together.

"So who do you think is out?" Cho asked conversationally.

"You," said Draco simply.

Cho hit him, hard and flounced off to talk to Padma. Ginny flopped herself down where Cho had been sitting.

"Any moment," she said, "I hope Ron goes out. I can't believe he didn't even know my name!"

"So none of that 'Brother's and sisters stick together' stuff in the Weasley family?" Draco asked.

"With my brothers?" Ginny laughed, "Not likely. Charlie and Bill are OK. And George is sometimes funny. But Percy is uptight, Fred is annoying and Ron is just..."

"A Weasel?"

"Hah! Yes."

Draco smiled and looked up at the door, which soon one of them would be leaving by. A voice echoed through the whole house.

"Big Brother housemates, this is Rita..."

A/N: Now it's up to you! There will be a link on the review thread to a thread where you can vote off the person you don't want to continue in the house. Whoever gets the highest amounts of votes is gone.