Left Unsaid

Her life was over. She'd meant to tell him, really, she had. But he'd come home late from the shop, and the next morning, they'd had to leave, to--well, as it turned out, save the world. Dumbledore's Army had called, and when you're dueling wizards all over the place, trying not to get yourself killed, there's barely any time to chat.

And before she'd realized what happened...he was gone. Gone, and he'd never known. Life goes by so fast, she thought. Yet the two months since he died were the slowest of her life.

Of course, her best friends were by her side all the time, mourning his death as well. Lee and Katie were over all the time, and Alicia had moved into the flat she had shared with George and--him. Alicia wasn't physically taking his place; the place where he had slept was now vacant. Hugely vacant, in fact. The bed had never been so large before. But somehow she felt like Alicia shouldn't be there, that the apartment was just for the twins and her. She knew this was a selfish thought, but had trouble preventing it.

The sad fact was, she hadn't even told her friends what she had meant to tell Fred before he died. The unspoken words seemed like they should go to him first, or no one else. But it had to happen, right? Right, Angelina told herself.

One day, when Lee and Katie were visiting, she pulled aside Alicia and Katie. It was best to tell them first, she thought.

Summoning all her Gryffindor courage, she took a deep breath and started, "I have something to tell you both." Normally either girl would've responded with something playfully sarcastic, but at this moment, and in the moments within the past two months, neither dared to use sarcasm. Their friend was just too sensitive.

Instead, Alicia urged her, "Go on."

"Wait," Katie interrupted. "What kind of surprise is this? Is it like, 'I found a skirt that would look great on you--'" Alicia rolled her eyes--"or like 'I'm running away to Romania,' or like 'I'm pregnant--'" Angelina's gaze flickered dangerously, and Alicia's mouth fell open.

"You're pregnant?!" Alicia squealed. Angelina nodded, but didn't smile. Katie could tell Alicia was trying to be excited about this, but Angelina's was no ordinary circumstance. Nobody dared ask who the father was, the unasked question hung on the air--

"Who's the father?" Katie whispered, and Alicia mentally smacked her hand to her forehead. Angelina looked down as if afraid to mention his name, but that answer was enough for the two girls. "Oh."

Alicia let the pause happen before asking her own question. "How far alo--"

"Two months." Angelina's voice cracked and she was determinedly looking down now. Alicia did the math in her head; it must've happened just before Fred died. "Yeah," Angelina continued, as if Alicia had spoken it aloud. And now she was slowly sinking onto her unoccupied double bed, and Katie saw a tear drip into her lap.

"Angelina," Katie sighed. "This is not a bad thing. We'll be there with you every step of the way. You and this kid are gonna be the best of friends--" And now Angelina positively wailed, and collapsed on the bed.

"No! And that's the worst of it, Kate. I'm not going to be a good mother. I'm afraid...I'm afraid I'll be too selfish, that I'll put the baby's needs before mine. There's no way I can deal, I'll have to get a job that I don't like, and worst of all, the baby won't have a--" She cut herself off; they were back on the subject of Fred again. It was bad enough that he was racing through her mind every second, she didn't want to have to discuss him all the time. Alicia and Katie just couldn't understand, no one was tearing George and Lee away from them. But Alicia was two steps ahead, she nipped this thought in the bud.

"This kid is going to be adored, it's gonna have four aunts and uncles who are always here, not to mention the rest of your family, the Weasleys, and a mother who I have no doubt love it like crazy."

"Yeah, and any of us can babysit any time," Katie cut in.

"Oh, that reminds me. George and Lee have to know too," Angelina sniffed, finally getting up on her elbows. "Would you guys go and tell them? And could you please mention, you know, that I'm not exactly thrilled. Because if they come in here jumping around, I may pass out." She finally cracked a smile at the thought of Lee and George freaking out.

"Of course," said Katie. "We'll be back in a bit. You gonna be okay alone?" Angelina nodded, maybe she'd sleep. All of a sudden she was exhausted.

"Oh my God, you guys were so right. I'm sorry for doubting you," Angelina sighed without a trace of sarcasm in her voice. She was reclining on a (double) bed in a cozy but comfortable cottage in Ireland. Her belly now looked stuffed. People assumed she was about to pop, despite being only seven months pregnant. She had swelled up all around as well, but at this point didn't really care. It was supposed to happen with pregnancy, right? "I definitely needed this break."

"Yeah, plus Bagman can't send you constant owls here," George snickered. Angelina covered her ears with her pillow.

"Oh, don't even mention him," she whined, but there was a hint of a smile on her face.

"Why is Bagman owling you?" came a voice, and a tall, dreadlocked man walked into the room, and set his luggage down with his wand.

"Lee!" Katie positively shrieked, and ran to throw her arms around him. Alicia and George greeted him too, but Angelina couldn't help feeling a bit more lonely. She sunk down a fraction of an inch on her pillow and unconsciously placed her hands on her stomach. "You came early!"

"Turned out the lead singer came down with something, so we just practiced a few chords, and, well, were free to go." Katie was beaming with delight; he had been expected to come in another week.

"That's great!"

"Not so great for Johnny," Lee admitted, but looked delighted nonetheless. "Alright, Ang, how's the belly?"

"Getting bigger by the second," she responded. "But thanks, Lee," she gave him an appreciative grin. "Ooh! I've almost forgotten. D'you want to know why Bagman would be owling me?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said enthusiastically.

"You tell, Alicia." Angelina was much more keen to hear it again.

"Well, while you were in Paris, we--that is, me, Ang, Katie, and George--were out having a laugh in a park near here. And George, being the idiot he is--er, the wonderful idiot he is--had brought some brooms. And Ang wanted to fly, cause she hasn't since--well, in a long time," she said hastily, "and me and Kates said 'no, no,' because of the baby, but she was so determined, and George thought it'd be alright. So he gave her this spell to do to her stomach, to kind of cushion everything, hopefully it helped--" and she now looked a little doubtful, "--because we went flying after that, and we sort of fashioned hoops out of the trees with our wands, and it was me and Katie playing George and Angelina."

"We weren't really keeping score--" Katie put in.

"I was," Alicia said, "Ang and George beat us 140-90."

"Minus the Snitch obviously, but quite pathetic, really." He nudged Alicia playfully, but she was telling her story.

"And we'd touched down and everything, and Angelina looked as she does now, no offense or anything, but she was obviously pregnant--"

"And all of a sudden, we realize Ludo-bloody-Bagman was watching us. So he pulls over Angelina and says--tell 'im, Ang," Katie let her finish.

"He said, 'I've never seen a pregnant woman fly that well. I wonder what you're like when you haven't got a baby in your belly.' And I blushed and said, 'Well, I'm alright.' And, when it all came down to it--" she was busting with excitement here-- "he said he'll consider me for the Wimbourne Wasps Chaser!"

"Wow," Alicia realized, "he must've gotten his job back with the Department of Magical Games and Sports."

"Dunno why," George scoffed. "Always been a thief, he cheated us at the Quidditch World--" There it went again, and Angelina looked down, determined not to look anyone in the eye until the moment passed. George had referred to himself and his dead brother as "us." The silence implied that everyone was looking down as Angelina was, but she didn't dare look up to check. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye, and realized it was Alicia putting her hand on George's knee. "But congratulations, Angie," he choked, and Angelina knew without looking that there were tears. This was the last thing Angelina wanted. If he starts to cry, I'll start bawling. And once I start--will I ever stop? She'd cried too much already, she was sick of it. She only knew the tears were there when she felt them on her cheek. A tap at the window broke the silence, and Katie stood up to check on what it was.

"Angie, it's Rodrigo!" she cried happily, and sure enough, Angelina's speckled owl was floating outside, bearing a letter.

"If it's Bagman--"

"It is! But no, it's not like that. It's good news." Katie gasped, and pointed to the letter, seemingly unable to speak. She jumped up and down. "They've gotten you a spot!" The three girls screamed, and George and Lee cheered. "Congratulations! Once you're ready to take the job, it's all yours. Read it, read it!" She bounced on her knees on Angelina's bed, and Angelina was reminded almost immediately of her little sister Margot, when she was around five.

Dear Miss Johnson,

Everything has turned out brilliantly for you, and we at the Department of Magical Games and Sports have appointed you to be the new Chaser for the Wimbourne Wasps.

Obviously, this only is effective after you have taken the leave you and your unborn child need. Whenever you decide to attend, the job is available. Until then, you should know we're going to be playing the reserve Chaser, Sean McDougal. Let us know when you are planning on taking the job.

Thank you,

Ludovic Bagman

Department of Magical Games and Sports

"Merlin," Angelina sighed, and sank down yet further on her bed. Her Fred tears had dried, and now she held the letter tight to her chest and sighed. Everything was going to be all right. Her baby would get the support it needed; Quidditch players made loads of Galleons. And her friends could watch dear little Unborn Child while she was...away. It hit Angelina like a Bludger, and she fell off her metaphorical broom, falling fast and rough to the solid ground. She sat up in bed.

"Who's gonna watch little Unborn while I'm away at games?" said she. The four looked at each other nervously, they had obviously expected this. Katie nudged Lee, who shook his head noticeably and nudged George. He cleared his throat awkwardly, and said, "Well, we kind of assumed you had thought of that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Angelina said, now irritated.

"All he means," said Alicia, rushing to his defense, "is that we can see you obviously want the job, and...since we thought you were going to take it, we thought you'd have considered the--ups and downs."

"Pros and cons," Lee agreed.

"I dunno," Angelina answered. "I guess I never thought it'd actually happen, you know? He said he'd consider me, I didn't...wow, I have the job. This is mental."

"Definitely."

"I can't be traveling all around the country when I've got little Unborn here." Katie couldn't help but chuckle at the nickname, but quickly covered it with a cough. Angelina gave her a look. "But seriously, what am I going to do? I suppose I could take...er, the baby with me." Angelina hated calling the baby "it," hence the nickname "Unborn." She didn't know the gender yet. "But how weird would that be? Plus, someone would have to come with me. And I wouldn't force that on any of you guys." She interrupted them before they could speak. "No, I'm serious. Who would want to follow me wherever my games were and just--watch the baby while I'm in the air? And nobody volunteer, just help me figure out what I'll do. Please." And eventually, they accepted this plea.

Angelina tossed and turned over this predicament, even after everyone else had gone to bed. Well, figuratively speaking, the baby's weight kept her upright. But she just couldn't decide. It was her dream job versus her child, and Angelina had trouble choosing. This bothered her more than anything else, because it was exactly what freaked her out most about parenthood. She'd heard most girls eventually turned into their mothers, but she hoped against hope that she wouldn't be one of those girls. Her mom had been one of the most self-absorbed people she had ever met; Angelina wanted to put her kids first. Neither her job nor anything else was going to get in the way.

And it was as simple as that. Her decision was made. She had to choose, and how could she possibly choose the job? Hadn't she once said her fear was that she'd be a bad mother, too selfish? It wasn't a choice.

"Leesh?"

"Hmm?" Alicia was in the middle of some book when Angelina dared interrupt.

"I've decided."

"Decided what?"

"Decided that--I'm not gonna take the job." Alicia gasped; her eyes were finally off the pages.

"What?" she said, though Angelina was positive she had heard.

"I'm not taking my dream job," she sighed. "I refuse to become my mother. Maybe the job can wait. I've already owled Bagman, he said he'd consider it at the time, it depends on the situation, but the last time he said he'd 'consider' me--"

"You got it," Alicia said. "And you know what? I completely agree."

"About what?" Lee asked, as he entered the room with Katie on his arm, and George just behind him.

"Angie's not going to take the job."
"Oh, that's great!" Katie cheered. "Little Unborn in there will be so grateful."

"It's not just that," Angelina admitted. "I can't become my mom. I have to put the kid first. I realized it last night."

"And you're completely right," Lee agreed.

"Oh, I'm so relieved you guys support my decision," Angelina sighed, sounding much more adult than her age of twenty. "I still would need a job though."
"Don't worry about it," piped up George seriously. "Me and Leesh will handle the rent until you've got the time, strength, and energy to get back to work." Angelina smiled at him, and Alicia went to kiss him on the cheek.

"Isn't the sweetest?" Alicia asked, but she was looking at George.

"I know," he grinned, and for some reason Angelina was very aware of the hole on the side of his head where his ear should have been.

"George--" she began.

"No, please, let us do this," he said hastily, before she could finish. Sure, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes made a bucketload of money, but Alicia waited tables at the Three Broomsticks. But it was only until she was certified to be a teacher, at which point she'd apply for the Muggle Studies position at Hogwarts. She was young but determined, and Angelina knew it'd only be a few years, by which time Angelina herself would have a job of her own.

But before Angelina could give George his due, she screamed. Instinctively, the group gathered around her. "Oh my God, she could be having contractions!" Katie squealed.

"I think so!"

"Breathe deep, Angie," Katie encouraged, and grabbed her hand.

"I'm sorry, I don't do well with pain," Angelina squealed as finally it subsided.

"Great thing to say before you have a baby," Lee muttered.

"Shut it, Jordan, and get me to a hospital!"