Fortalius

Chapter 3 - Fortalius

"Hi, Harry."

"Malfoy." As much as Harry wanted to be with Draco again, he was still mad, and hurt, and confused, and frustrated, and... hurt.

"We need to talk."

"What could we possibly need to talk about? I recall no special occurrence that has taken place between us recently. What is there to talk about?"

"Harry, stop. Please. I'm sorry. I don't want to pretend it never happened."

Harry, who had been looking away angrily, turned his head sharply to Draco at these words. "You... don't?"

"No. I thought I did but I don't. Harry, you are all I've been able to think about since it happened. I... I..." He trailed off.

Harry stared at Draco for a moment. "What the hell are you trying to pull here?" His voice was quiet, cold, and painfully harsh.

"What?"

"You kiss me like that, then you say you want to pretend nothing happened, and now you're telling me that you... I don't even know what the hell you're telling me!" Harry was furious. What the hell was Draco doing with him? He was toying with him. Was this all some big practical joke or something? This was not fair. Draco could not go and kiss him like that, then spit him out (no pun intended), then pick him back up again. Harry didn't know what to think anymore.

"I'm telling you..."

"What?!"

"I LIKE YOU! Okay? There! I said it! I. Like. You."

What? He what? Harry felt a wave of happiness wash over him at those words. But he was still hurt. And confused. "But, I don't understand."

"Harry, I like you. When you kissed me, that was probably the happiest I've ever been, because then I knew you liked me too." Draco's tone was very sober. "And not just liked me. Liked me like that. And I kissed you back because I like you. And then, afterwards, I thought it was a mistake because I'd given in to my want - my need - for you. I'm a Malfoy! I can't be weak. Can't show emotion. Can't. Ever. And, my reputation. My family. All that crap." Harry got the feeling that Draco had never been this honest with anyone in his entire life. "And then, like I said, I couldn't stop thinking about you. And how much I must have hurt you by letting you think that kiss meant nothing." Harry could now hear the emotion in Draco's voice. It was very tight, and his face was slightly flushed. Draco dropped his eyes. "It meant so much Harry. No one has ever kissed me like that. I've never wanted to kiss anyone like that. Except for you. I've never felt that much... passion from another person. For me. And, Harry, I..."

He trailed off. Draco had never been this open with anyone before. Ever. Where the hell was all this coming from? It was like he'd drilled a tiny hole in the dam, but somehow the dam just burst and suddenly everything was spilling out of him with no way to stop it. All these words were rushing out of him. Then the outward emotion began to sneak out with them. Damn it, I am not going to cry. Why am I getting like this? This is ridiculous. Help! I'm talking and I can't shut up!

Draco took a breath to try to get himself back under control. "Harry, I'm sorry. And I don't blame you if you never forgive me. I just... I'm sorry."

-- Will his eyes reveal to me

Promises or lies?

But he can't conceal from me

The love in his eyes. --

Something in Draco's eye's told Harry that everything Draco was saying was the absolute, pure truth. Harry could see the sincere emotion in his face. In his eyes. Harry didn't know what to say. Everything Draco had just told him... it was all so overwhelming. It was so much. And so... amazing. Draco had just told Harry how much he cared for him. And it was a lot.

-- Love is worth forgiving for!

Now I realize -

Everything worth living for

Is there, in his eyes! --

"Draco, of course I forgive you," Harry said quietly.

Draco had been bracing himself for another scolding, but when Harry said that, he flung himself onto the raven-haired boy and wrapped his strong arms tightly around him.

This caught Harry quite by surprise and he had to regain his balance, but once he did, he wrapped his arms around Draco too and held him close. "Hey, if I can forgive you for six years of fighting, I can forgive you for this." He laughed.

Draco laughed too. "I was quite the little prat, wasn't I?"

"Well, it's not like I was the perfect angel either." They both laughed, still clinging to each other. Draco pulled back to look at Harry.

"So, what does this mean then? Are we..."

"Yeah."

"And can we..."

Harry wrapped one arm around Draco's neck, and used the other hand to cup the back of Draco's head, pulling it slowly to his own until their lips met in a fireworks-worthy kiss.

The kiss heated up, mouths opened, tongues writhed and traced tiny circles in a foreign - now not so foreign - mouth. Draco broke the kiss and began to make his way slowly up to Harry's ear, trailing, soft, feathery, delicious kisses along the way, until finally...

Wow! Harry gasped. Draco was good at that. Harry basked in the sensations that this gesture sent up and down his body.

Suddenly, the sound of large doors opening reached the ears of the two and they flew apart. Harry cursed under his breath and Draco gave him an amused smirk, very pleased with himself that Harry had been enjoying his work. Harry blushed brightly.

A tall boy with bright red hair came around the corner, spotting Harry. "Harry! There you are. Did you get what you'd forgotten?"

"Er, yeah. I, uhhh, thought I forgot my, err, transfiguration homework, but it was, uh, in my pocket the whole time. Heh." Well that was some quick thinking on Harry's part.

Draco gave a small, muffled, "you've got to be kidding," laugh. Harry gave him a look, and Draco quickly looked up, whistling.

Ron, apparently not having noticed Malfoy's presence earlier, turned to him now, eying him with a rather stony look. "Malfoy. Morning. What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I miss the sign that said 'No Malfoys allowed in the hall'?"

"I believe you did."

"Silly me. Oh, well. You'll just have to make it bigger next time, won't you?"

Ron glared. Malfoy smirked. God, that smirk is sexy, Harry thought. How did I miss it all those years?

Finally Harry decided to break the silence. "Okay, that's enough. Come on, Ron, let's get to class."

"But Harry -"

"Come on!" Ron gave him a confused look. "I just... really don't want to start something right now, okay?"

"Fine. I understand."

They began to walk and Draco's eyes stayed on Harry. Harry turned his head to look back at Draco and gave him the most adorable smile Draco had ever seen. He almost wanted to run after him, grab him, and kiss him right there. Almost.

"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked Ron after a bit.

"Had to stay back to ask Flitwick a homework question. You know Hermione." They exchanged amused looks and continued on their way to class.

--------------------

Morning classes went by mostly uneventfully, with the exception of McGonagall reprimanding Ron and Hermione for playing footsie in class. Hermione was mortified at being reprimanded by a teacher, as she had little experience in this area, and refused to even glance at Ron for the remaining hour of class.

And now it was time for () Potions, their one class with Slytherin. This ought to be interesting.

They took their seats, and shortly thereafter, Harry remembered he had been so distracted last night he had neglected to do his potions homework. Which meant of course, by Murphy's law, that Snape would be in a particularly sour mood today and pick on Harry even more than usual, if that was possible.

He was right.

Snape grilled every Gryffindor with questions about things they'd never learned - all of which only Hermione or Draco could possibly have answered - and he had Harry demonstrate how to make their potion of the day, which he, of course, did wrong, causing a small tornado to swirl around the class, wreaking havoc, before returning to the cauldron.

God, he's cute when he's nervous, thought Draco.

Overall, the Gryffindors lost a total of 82 points in the course of that class, while somehow the Slytherins gained 30.

Somewhere near the end of class, a note appeared in front of Harry. It said: "Meet me in the room behind the statue of Sir Emitt the Brave after dinner. Password is fortalius. This message will self destruct in three, two, drop it now!" Harry dropped the note next to his chair and it burst into green and gold flame and withered away.

There's a room there? Harry looked up at Draco, who was now staring intently at Snape, eyebrows knitted in concentration.

"Potter, do pay attention. This is getting rather tiresome."

Snape was standing in front of him now. Harry snapped to attention in his seat, startled by Snape's quite sudden appearance, and said quietly, "Sorry, sir."

He glanced around Snape at Draco, who was grinning at him, a slight apologetic look in his eyes. Harry gave him a small glare, but couldn't help grinning a little.

The half-glare only lasted a short time though. As Snape turned around to continue his lecture, Harry's shining emerald eyes quickly softened at the cute grin on Draco's face.

Draco turned his head to face forward again and Harry looked over at Ron and Hermione to see if they'd noticed anything. Ron was watching Snape, a scowl on his face. Hermione was looking at Draco curiously. Then she looked back down and continued taking notes. Phew.

---------------------

Harry and Draco, now both in exceptional moods, spent the rest of their classes pretending to listen while thinking about what they would do and say tonight, and what the other would do and say.

They spent lunch and dinner talking to their friends and sneaking secret glances across the hall.

Hermione kept turning around to see what Harry was looking at, causing Ron to turn around and see what she was looking at, and Harry decided he should be more careful about when he stole his glances.

Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other and rolled their eyes each time Malfoy's eyes drifted across the room and softened at a certain raven-haired boy-hero.

Draco finished eating and said to Crabbe and Goyle, "I have some things I need to take care of this evening, so I'll just meet you both back at the dorm later, okay?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah. Do you need us to help with anything?" asked Goyle.

"No. I'll be fine. Thanks." He stood up to leave. "And, uh, don't wait up for me, okay?"

"Sure." Crabbe said, giving Draco a curious look. Draco was smiling, which was a good sign, but they still weren't sure exactly what was going on. Draco strutted out of the room and Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other, shrugged, and continued eating.

"Hey, guys," Harry began, "after dinner, I need to get in a little, uh, extra studying at the library, so I'll just meet you back at the dorms later."

Hermione perked up. "Do you need help studying? I could quiz you or something. Oh, I've been trying a new study method that's really helped me -"

"No. I'm good, thanks. I just need to concentrate - you know, alone."

"You know, Ron, you should follow Harry's example. It may help you."

"Oh, god. Here we go again. Harry why'd you have to tell her that?!"

"Sorry, Ron. Didn't mean to get you into trouble."

Ron gave a heavy sigh, and said sadly, "S'alright. I guess I'll just be doing homework tonight." The word homework was said with utter contempt.

Harry laughed. "Cheer up, Ron. We don't have too much tonight. It's not so bad."

"Hrmph."

Harry saw Malfoy leave, and finished dinner quickly before saying his goodbyes and taking his leave as well.

--------------------

"Fortalius."

The door slid sideways into the wall and Harry stepped in, before it slid back into place behind him. He walked down a short hall, about one stride long, and stepped out into a room.

He looked around. It was a small room, a bit smaller than his dorm, with stone walls like all the other rooms in Hogwarts. The room was well lit, though Harry could not see any light source. There were abstract paintings on the walls, which was rather odd for Hogwarts, as most of the paintings were of people - famous wizards and witches and such. There was a large circular rug in the center of the room. Along the walls to Harry's left and straight in front of him were long tables. He guessed this probably used to be some sort of testing room, until someone turned it into what looked like almost a living room. Against the wall to his right was a very large, very comfy-looking couch, adorned with a most beautiful blonde creature, in a lounging position, looking at him with a rather impish grin, one elegant eyebrow raised.

"So, What do you think?"

"Cool. How'd you find it?"

"Dad told me about it last year. Since then I've been coming here to have some time to myself - get away from my problems - most of which involved him, ironically."

"Oh. Well, it's nice."

"Thanks. By the way, you can come sit down if you want. You don't have to stand there like an idiot." Draco shifted from his lounging position to make room for Harry. Harry blushed and walked over to sit down next to Draco on the deliciously plush sofa.

"Wow. This is really comfortable. Where'd you get it?"

"Well, my dad had conjured up this nice, fancy, stick-up-your-ass, leather thing. I just transfigured it to make it more comfy to sit on. But enough small talk for now, Harry. You and I both know we have some things to talk about."

"Yeah, like when did you... you know, start liking me?"

"I always liked you, Harry, you were the one that didn't like me. I wanted to be your friend from the beginning."

"You insulted the first people to ever be nice to me!"

"Well it was true!"

"Malfoy, don't start!"

Draco looked down. "Sorry," he said. He could tell Harry was serious by the way he used his last name.

Harry looked down too, embarrassed that he'd just snapped at Draco. "It's okay," he said, "I'm sorry."

"Why? For what?"

"For not being your friend. And for snapping at you just now. I feel rather stupid."

"Don't."

They were silent for a moment, seemingly forming some sort of unspoken mutual understanding. "But, anyways... when did you first start... having feelings for me?"

"Last year." Draco's cheeks colored slightly - a rare occurrence. "You?"

"Last year too. At first I thought I was insane, but then I thought, 'what's so crazy about it?' " Draco looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Well, I guess a lot of things, but when you think about it..."

"Yeah." He paused. "I guess..." he began thoughtfully, as if trying to work it out in his head as he said it, "there was always something there. We just couldn't... comprehend... I dunno. Sorry. I'm rambling."

"No, that actually makes perfect sense. Er, at least, I get what you mean. Don't know that anyone else would." Both laughed. "Next question: What are we? I mean, are we... together, or just, you know... snogging buddies?"

Draco laughed at Harry's choice you wording. Harry blushed slightly. Draco seemed to have that effect on him. That laugh, that smile - the genuine ones - they always made Harry's pulse speed up just a bit.

Draco cleared his throat and looked at Harry quite seriously now. "What do you want us to be Harry?"

"I asked first."

"Well, technically, you asked 'what are we?' and I asked 'what do you want?' so technically I asked first."

"Technical, my arse! Draco, seriously."

"Harry. What. Do you. Want?"

Harry realized that, technically, Draco was right. He looked down thoughtfully, toed off his shoes, pulled his feet up under him, and tugged nervously at the cuff of his sleeve before answering.

-- If someone like you found someone like me,

Then suddenly nothing would ever be the same!

My heart would take wing, and I'd feel so alive -

If someone like you loved me... --

"Well, I guess, I want... what anyone wants. Someone to be with. Someone to have some kind of future with. I mean, it is our last year. It's about time to start thinking about that kind of thing. Stupid, that there should be some kind of schedule, but... you know what I mean. I just... " Harry seemed to be lost in thought, in his own world. "I just want someone to love. Someone who loves me..." he trailed off.

-- A new love -

Though I know there's no such thing as true love -

Even so, although I never knew love,

Still I feel that one dream is my due --

"Love. You don't think that's a lot to ask?"

Harry looked up at him. "Do you?"

"Well, I don't know. I mean, you hear about it, in stories and stuff, but I sure as hell have never seen it. And I've seen a lot Harry. A lot."

Harry knew Draco had seen a lot of pain in his time. Probably experienced a lot of pain. He'd been raised around dark magic and dark things, and the Dark Freaking Lord. But Harry wanted to show Draco the sun.

Harry scooted a bit closer to Draco. "Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Draco, I know you've seen a lot of crap but... "

Draco bit his lip and his breathing became slightly tightened as memories of all the pain he'd seen flooded back to him. Memories that made him doubt that any good existed in the world. But he looked at Harry, into those deep, beautiful emerald eyes, and that vision seemed to push at least a few of his doubts away.

-- Leading me out of the darkness and into the light --

"... It's out there. I know it is." Harry continued.

"How? How do you know?"

Harry scooted closer to Draco, took his face in his hands, and, looking at him very earnestly, emerald eyes gleaming brightly, said, "I just do." And then he kissed him, gently.

-- In his eyes I can see

Where my heart longs to be!

Safe in his arms, close to his heart,

But I don't know quite where to start. --

Harry began to pull back, but Draco's mouth followed his, not letting the connection break, and Harry ceased his retreat. He knew Draco needed, for once in his life, for someone else to be strong for him. To be his life line. His support. His strength. He wrapped his arms around Draco, and Draco did the same, pulling themselves to the comfort and warmth of the other's arms.

It was slow and soft and tender at first, slowly growing in intensity, rhythm forming, tongues exploring. Draco's hands moved up to tangle in the amazingly soft, black mess that was Harry's hair. Harry broke away from Draco's mouth to trail kisses along his cheek and jaw line, down to his neck, kissing him softly at first, then trailing the tip of his tongue down and up the side of Draco's neck, settling at one spot to suck lightly, dragging a soft moan from Draco's mouth. He continued there for several moments before making his way upwards to Draco's ear. Draco gasped...

After a while of Harry trailing kisses up and down Draco's jaw line, Draco whispered, "Harry..."

"Mmm?"

"...I want love too."

-- Will his eyes reveal to me promises or lies?

But he can't conceal from me the love in his eyes! --

Harry pulled back to look into Draco's mercury-colored, intensely genuine eyes. He smiled, and dove once more into Draco's warm, welcoming mouth.

--------------------

"I guess I'd better get back to my dorm. Its getting pretty late. My friends are going to wonder what's happened to me."

"I happened to you." Draco said slyly, smirking, running a hand through Harry's hair.

Harry smiled. "Has anyone ever told you you're a really good kisser by the way?"

"Yes."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I had to ask."

"Harry before you go, there's something I forgot to ask you."

"Yeah?"

"Are we telling anyone about us? I mean, I'm gonna have to tell Vince and Greg eventually. And I'm sure you'll have to tell your friends eventually."

"Yeah."

"Well?"

"Well, I think we do have to tell them, but not yet. I don't want to ruin it. Besides, I don't really know how they'll react and I need to think of a good way to tell them that will do the least damage." Once we're sure of us...

"Yeah. I don't know how long I can wait to tell Crabbe and Goyle though. I think they know something's going on. They don't know who or what. But they know something is going on."

"When did they get so smart?"

"The Dark Lord gave them something a while back to improve their intelligence. Nasty side effects though." Draco looked up at Harry's shocked expression. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Harry turned red. "They're actually not as dumb as they look sometimes."

"Oh. Heh. Well, don't you think they'll freak out if they find out that we're...? I mean, generally speaking, the Slytherins are not too fond of me."

"Ha. That's putting it mildly." Harry gave him a look. "But I have a feeling Vince and Greg will be more fine with us than Weasley or Granger."

"Somehow I doubt that. But if you must tell them... well, I just don't want too much attention on us, so they have to keep it quiet."

"Believe me, I know better than anyone how many problems it would cause if the school found out."

"Yeah. So we're agreed then. We wait."

"Yeah."

"I guess I'd better go then. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."

"Alright. And fix your hair, you dolt," he teased, mussing it some more.

"You certainly aren't helping any." Harry laughed.

He stood and Draco followed him to the door.

"Night then."

"Night." And they stood staring at each other for a moment before sharing one last kiss, and with that, they went their separate ways back to their dorms.

--------------------

It was about 11:30 when Harry crept up to his dorm. He really hoped his roommates had all gone to bed by now. He didn't feel like answering questions. He just wanted to go to sleep and dream of all the sweet, sweet kisses he and Draco had shared. The tender touches, soft caresses, strong arms holding him, drawing him in to the most heart-quenching oasis anyone could possibly imagine.

But as he opened the door, he saw that he had no such luck. The lights were on and his four roommates were sitting on the floor talking, playfully smacking each other around, doing homework, etc. All four heads turned toward the door as they heard Harry enter.

"Harry!" Ron shouted gleefully, "Where've you been. You've been gone an awfully long time."

"Yeah. Ron was starting to worry about you." chimed Dean.

"Shut up! I was not."

"Yeah, where were you?" Asked Neville. "You look kinda... odd. Ruffled."

"Yeah, and I wanted to show you something really cool I found in Quidditch Illustrated. I've been dying to show you! This broom is bloody wicked !"

Suddenly, Seamus, who had been watching Harry carefully, curiously, head tilted slightly to the side, went wide-eyed and loudly proclaimed, "He's been snogging!"