Fortalius

Chapter 2 - Truth Be Told

"Harry, are you feeling alright? You look rather... depressed. It's not because of the detention is it? Snape does that all the time. And we aren't mad at you for those points. We know it was all Malfoy's fault." Harry's stomach did a little flip at the word Malfoy. Hermione was looking across the table at him with a very worried expression on her face.

"No, It's nothing like that. I was just... thinking. About... stuff."

Ron, who was sitting next to her, was watching Harry too. "Hermione's right, Harry, you look bloody awful. What's wrong? What are you thinking about?"

"Just stuff. And I'm fine. Thanks though." He received only silence and worried looks. "So what were you guys up to while I was, uh, detained?" he added, to lighten the mood and to distract himself (and them).

"Well, I got my herbology essay finished, plus my potions and arithmacy homework done. While the procrastination king over here -"

"I told you, I work better under pressure."

"- challenged a poor little second year to a game of wizard's chess and beat the crap out of him - six times."

"And won six chocolate frogs," added Ron proudly.

"Nice, Ron," Harry laughed. He felt a bit better talking to his friends. That was, until his eyes drifted back across the room to a particular spot at the Slytherin table, where they'd been drifting all evening, and he remembered why he'd been upset before. He tried to distract himself again. "So what are you two up to the rest of the evening?"

"Well," Hermione began, trying to look casual and hide the growing grin on her face, which she was doing an awful job at, "I happen to have a date tonight."

"A what?!" shrieked Ron, several notes higher than intended.

"I said, I have a -"

"A date. I heard you! With who?!" Ron managed this bit somewhat more calmly, but still quite higher and more panicked than his usual voice. A few people sitting close to them turned to watch.

"Terry Boot. You know him. He was in the D.A. Said he'd always been quite impressed with me when we met fifth year. Had a crush on me since. Isn't that sweet?"

"That Ravenclaw GIT???!!! No it's not sweet! It's repulsive!"

"Excuse me?! How dare you talk to me like that! And how dare you talk about him like that! You're the one being a git!."

"So that's why he left dinner so early." He basically ignored Hermione's retort and continued to yell at her, which was really not a good idea, because as small as she was, she could be quite frightening when angry. "Had to get ready for his BIG BLOODY DATE! I can't BELIEVE you would even consider going out with that... THAT... ARSE. HOW COULD YOU?!"

"How could I? HOW COULD I? HOW COULD YOU?!! And WHAT THE HELL has HE ever done to YOU to deserve such a LOVELY NICKNAME?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" She was standing now. "And SINCE WHEN IS MY LOVE LIFE ANY OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS ANYWAY?!"

By now the entire room had their eyes on the two, but Ron and Hermione were completely oblivious.

Ron stood up now too. "IT IS MY DAMN BUSINESS!"

Hermione almost laughed. "HOW?! HOW IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS IN ANY WAY? PLEASE, I'M QUITE CURIOUS TO KNOW WHAT ANY OF THIS HAS TO DO WITH YOU! WHY DO YOU CARE?!"

"BECAUSE... BECAUSE I... BECAUSE..." He let out an exasperated sigh, unable to explain himself with words, and instead took hold of Hermione, pulled her sharply to him, and kissed her with all his might while she stood there, rigid from shock.

--This is the moment, This is the time,

When the momentum and the moment are in rhyme! --

When he finally pulled away there was a moment of dead silence, before the entire hall erupted into wild applause. They looked around, apparently surprised to see everyone there, then looked at each other, both in complete and utter shock.

"Well," Harry said, voicing the thoughts of everyone else in the room, "It's about damn time!"

Hermione was sputtering, "Ron? What... when... you... but... I...?"

Harry slipped under the table to their side, grabbed both by the arms and led them away from the watchful eyes of their now very enthralled audience, out to the entranceway.

"Okay. Now that that part is done with, you two talk this out, okay? Have fun. Don't snog too much." And with that he left them to sort themselves out.

--------------------

Well that had successfully distracted him for the time being. He decided to return to the common room rather than the Great Hall for fear of being undistracted. He thought about the odd new couple downstairs and how happy they would be. Why couldn't he have fallen for... well anyone but Draco! As much as Draco had hurt him tonight, he still wanted to be with him. The one person he couldn't have, he wanted. Figured. That was his life.

-- If I'm wise, I will walk away,

And gladly...

But, sadly, I'm not wise,

It's hard to talk away

The mem'ries that you prize! --

He pulled his mind back to the Ron-Hermione train of thought and began to doze in his chair in front of the warm common room fire when Ron and Hermione sauntered in, arms around each other, smiling ear to ear.

"I take it your talk went well," Harry said when he saw them.

"Yes it did," Ron answered, leaning down to kiss Hermione again.

"Oh, come on you two. I'm happy for you and all, but do you really have to do that in front of me?" Harry said, smiling at them, trying to look disgusted.

"Sorry Harry," Hermione blushed. "It's just... oh this is so wonderful! If you had told me a week ago that this would happen I never would have believed it, but now... Oh, it's just so nice to have someone, you know?"

Harry looked down to hide the sudden pained look on his face. I bet it is nice, he thought.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Harry." Hermione had caught the look on his face. "I shouldn't have... we shouldn't be parading this in front of you. I know that you... well... Are you alright with this? With us I mean?"

Harry looked up with a half-forced smile. "Of course I'm alright with it, not that it should matter. I'm happy for you both. Really. It's just that... sometimes... well, it would be nice to have someone."

Ron finally spoke. "Harry, you know you could have practically any girl in this school."

Yeah, but it's not a girl I want.

"You'll find someone soon." Ron continued. "I know you will. Hey, you want us to set you up. There's this really cute Hufflepuff that's been asking Hermione about you..."

"No. I'm fine, guys. Really." His smile was even more forced now and looked almost painful. "I'll be fine." As he said this, it was clear that he was trying to convince himself as much as his two worried friends.

-- There's something strange, there's something wrong.

I see a change - It's like when hope dies.

I, who have known you for so long,

I see the pain in your eyes! --

Before Ron or Hermione could respond or try to get more of an explanation out of him, Seamus and Dean burst into the common room and practically tackled Ron and Hermione, taking turns locking each into a huge bear hug. (Seamus hugged Hermione a bit too long and close for Ron's liking and Ron had to yank him off of her.)

"I can't believe it!" Seamus said. "You two finally hooked up. I'm so happy for you!" He pulled both into a group hug now.

"Me too," Dean said, clapping Ron hard on the back. "This is great. Our little boy's growing up." He pretended to wipe away a tear, then weep into Seamus's shoulder as Seamus patted his head.

"You know," Seamus said leaning closer to Ron and Hermione, "I know of some great hidden rooms in the castle if you two ever need some, ya know, private, alone time." Seamus wiggled his eyebrows and nudged Ron with his elbow.

"Seamus!" Hermione said giving him a whack on the arm, though she was smiling and completely unable to give him a stern look. Ron just blushed.

"Hey, you tell Terry the date's off yet?" asked Dean.

"Ooh, yeah, I suppose I ought to do that soon." Hermione said, a sudden worried expression appearing on her face.

"Ooo, ooo, can I tell him?" asked Seamus eagerly.

"No."

Harry had been sitting in his chair still, watching them, smiling (genuinely now). Finally Dean came over and sat on the arm of Harry's chair. "What'a you think of them, Harry? Aren't they cute?"

"They sure are," he answered. "I think it's great."

"They already acted like a married couple," Seamus teased. "May as well get the benefits, eh?"

Harry laughed. He was feeling better with all his friends there. Dean said, "Come on Seamus, Harry, let's leave these kids alone," and he began walking up to their dorm.

"Aww but..."

"Come on Seamus! Coming Harry?"

"Yeah. Just a minute." Dean and Seamus headed up to the dorm and Harry walked over to where Ron and Hermione were standing.

"Congratulations, guys. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks Harry," Ron said.

"And you know, you're our best friend, Harry, and we'll always be here for you. If you ever need anything, any time, no matter what, we'll always be there for you."

"Thanks," Harry said. "You two are the best." And they shared a very touching group hug before Harry headed upstairs to join Dean and Seamus.

--------------------

"What's with you tonight, Draco?"

"Yeah, you been mopin' all evening."

The three were in their room. Draco was lying on his bed, arms crossed under his head, staring at the ceiling. Crabbe and Goyle were sitting on the side of Goyle's bed watching Draco, worried expressions on their large faces.

"I'm fine."

"Draco," Crabbe was saying, "we know you too well for that."

"Yeah. Come on. Tell us what's up. We're you're friends. You know you can tell us anything."

-- I, who have known you for so long,

I see the pain in your eyes! --

It was true. Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle were not simply Malfoy's goonies. They were his friends too. The three had become increasingly closer over the years, and they had always been there for each other. They shared a lot with each other and really did talk about almost everything. Almost.

"Is it the detention? That wasn't very like Snape, was it?"

"Yeah," said Goyle, "he was kind of an arse to do that, but you have to admit it, Draco, you deserved detention for that."

"Though, it was bloody brilliant!" Crabbe added.

"Yeah!" The two laughed at the memory.

Draco even grinned a bit at his cleverness. "I still can't believe Potter didn't realize I switched the bottles."

"Did you know it would do that if he added the essence of snake skin instead of dragon seed oil?"

"Of course I knew! Didn't think the explosion would be that strong though. Potter must have done something else. I told Snape I'd clean his desk off! But anyway, it's not about Snape giving me detention." Though it does have to do with detention. "It's... It's dumb. Never mind."

"No tell us, Draco," Crabbe nudged.

"Yeah," Goyle agreed. "Maybe we can help or something."

"No, you can't help. I just... I let myself do something stupid, and I just... Well that's it, really. Weakness and stupidity just about sums up what's bugging me."

"Do you want to tell us what happened? Talk about it?" Goyle suggested.

Uhhh, that would be a definite - "No. No, I don't. But thanks, guys. For... you know... caring, and stuff."

"Well, whenever you're ready to talk..."

"I know. And I will be, eventually. Just, not yet. But... thanks." Draco smiled at them and went back to staring at the ceiling, thinking about Harry, thinking about not thinking about Harry, and thinking about Harry some more.

He wanted to be with Harry. He wanted it so much, but, he couldn't. His reputation, his family, his future. Much of the wizarding world was very old fashioned. Granted, his generation was becoming less so, and Hogwarts was quite... liberal (a rather muggle word but appropriate none the less). But it just couldn't be. A Malfoy's reputation is a dear thing to him. And Harry of all people! Oh, yes, that would go over real well at the Malfoy Manner. He could see it now. Having his boyfriend over for dinner. He loved his mother dearly - she'd always given him love and affection, and been there when he needed her - but, well, she was not the most open-minded of people.

Oh, God! This was ridiculous. His reputation and what other people think shouldn't matter this much. Draco was a leader! Not a bloody follower! Or was that just what he'd always let himself believe. And what was so wrong with him and Harry anyway? They were just two people who felt something for each other and wanted to be together, emotionally and physically. They wanted... each other. And Harry had made the first move! Which meant that he wanted Draco like Draco wanted him! Harry wanted Draco. Harry wanted Draco. Harry wanted Draco.

What did this mean? Should he talk to Harry? Harry probably hated him now. How could he have been such an arse. He could tell that Harry wanted more between them, and had led him to believe he regretted that kiss.

-- All I know is' I'm lost -

And I'm counting the cost -

My emotions are in a spin! --

Well, in a way he did at the time. He'd hated himself for being weak. But maybe, he was allowed to be weak. Wasn't he allowed to have some happiness in his life? Couldn't he let himself have this one thing? But now the question was, would Harry let him? Would Harry have him? After what he'd done... said? Maybe not. But he'd have to wait til tomorrow to find out because his brain was exhausted from all the racing it was doing, and, coming to the conclusion that he would talk to Harry tomorrow, Draco drifted off to sleep, somewhat relieved at his decision, but all the more nervous about what would happen tomorrow.

--------------------

"I think he's asleep."

"Is he? Yep, you're right. I hear the snore starting."

"So, you think this has anything to do with Potter?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely a Potter-induced mood."

"Hm. Lover-Boy-Potter or Bloody-Git-Potter?"

"Dunno. But definitely Potter."

"Mm. I'm hungry. Wanna sneak down to the kitchens for a bite?"

" 'Kay."

--------------------

Harry awoke to the sound of an incredibly cheerful Ron bouncing about the dorm, getting ready to go downstairs for breakfast, humming some indistinguishable tune to himself. He was positively giddy.

"Time to get up, Harry - if you want any breakfast at all. Come on. Up, up, up! It's a bright, beautiful day."

Harry groaned. It was a beautiful day, especially considering that it was winter. But Harry was not in the mood to get up or get dressed, or make himself in any way presentable. And most of all, he did not feel like going to class. He hadn't slept very well last night. He'd been tossing and turning and thinking and AHHH! He should NOT have kissed Draco. Damn him. Why'd he have to let himself do that.

He'd had to know. That's why. And he'd thought that the reaction had been a good one. That was until Draco had told him he thought they should just forget about it.

-- If I'm wise, I will walk away,

And gladly...

But, sadly, I'm not wise,

It's hard to talk away

The mem'ries that you prize! --

Harry would never forget about it. In fact the memory would probably stay with him for the rest of his life. He knew that for certain. He should really just talk to Draco instead of burning his brain to a crisp with all the questions running through it. Questions only Draco could answer. Questions Harry already knew the answer to but had to hear Draco answer. Rants and rages that so wanted to burst out of him, and that Harry just prayed to Merlin would not burst out at the wrong person. He wanted to talk to Draco. Just talk. Find out what he was thinking. But, no! He could not go talk to Draco. If Draco wanted to talk to him, he would be the one to initiate the conversation. It had to be Draco.

Besides, Harry was still rather pissed. How could Draco kiss him like that, and then say he'd rather pretend it never happened. Harry was so confused. And frustrated. And hurt. Draco regretted that kiss. What had Harry done wrong? Nothing! Draco was the one who initiated the second kiss! But then...

Harry so badly wanted to just curl up in a tiny ball and drift back off to dreamland (hoping dream-Draco wouldn't pop up, that is) and never leave the dorm. But he had a test this morning and really had no choice. So he got up, brushed his teeth, tried to brush his hair but gave up rather quickly, put on his school robes, and met a perky Ron and his remaining, half-asleep roommates in the common room to head down to breakfast.

Crap. Well I suppose I'd have to face him sooner or later. Maybe he'll have changed his mind. Yeah, right! *sigh*

--------------------

Draco was nervous and exited and happy and anxious and scared and his stomach hurt like crazy from the confusion of all these emotions at once, particularly from the nervousness. He was going to talk to Harry. He was going to talk to Harry. Oh, God.

"Crabbe, Goyle? You guys ready yet?"

"Breakfast!" exclaimed Goyle.

"Mmm. I hope there's waffles today!" chimed in Crabbe.

"Yeah, with blueberries!"

"Yeah! Hey Draco, you feelin' any better today?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Much. Thanks."

"Well, you seem much better," said Goyle in his best sarcastic voice.

"I am. Hey, guys... uh, after we finish, or, uh, after I finish, rather, I need to go, uh, talk to someone... privately. So, do you two mind just meeting me at class?"

"Draco, are you gonna tell us what's going on with you and -" Crabbe had been about to say "Potter" but he knew Draco still didn't know exactly how much they'd actually figured out, so he finished with, "uh, what's going on with you and whoever it's going on with?"

"Yeah, Draco. We know something's up."

"Guys, honestly, I don't even know what the hell's going on. Which is why I need to talk to him..." at this, Crabbe and Goyle exchanged a "we were right" look, before Draco continued his sentence "...alone."

"Alright. We understand... kinda."

"Yeah. Just, you know, figure it out soon. The curiosity is killing us!" Crabbe smiled at Draco.

Draco laughed. "I will. I hope."

--------------------

Breakfast.

Terry Boot sat pouting, shooting glares in Ron's direction, positively green with envy, obviously having heard exactly what happened after he left dinner last night. Michael Corner, Anthony Goldstein, and several other surrounding Ravenclaws were trying to comfort him, and assist him in glaring at Ron. The Hufflepuffs were chattering excitedly about what happened last night at dinner or other random topics. The Gryffindor table was rather sleepy, but talking excitedly with each other and with Ron and Hermione about their newfound relationship and congratulating them, etc. The Slytherins were gossiping and sneering about how perfect the Weasel and the Mudblood were for each other, some actually quite sincere rather than cynical.

Draco sat, trying to be discrete - staring at Harry, trying to get his attention.

Harry was looking down at his food, obviously concentrating very hard on not letting his eyes go to Draco, looking up only every once in a while to smile at Ron and Hermione or say something Draco couldn't quite make out. When some students started giving Draco curious looks and trying to see who he was staring at without his usual scowl in place, he gave them a glare, picked up his newspaper, and proceeded to stare at Harry over it, under the pretense of reading.

Harry refused to look at Draco. He was focusing basically all of his energy on not looking at Draco. It was very difficult, as the one person he most wanted to look at was DRACO. Damn it!

Finally, for a split second, Harry forgot he couldn't look over there and his eyes drifted across the room of their own accord, before he quickly remembered he couldn't look at Malfoy. But, wait a second. Was he staring at me. Did I imagine it. No, I think he was staring at me. Carefully, Harry looked back up, and to his surprise, Malfoy was staring at him very intently, apparently glad to finally have eye contact.

Draco lowered his paper slightly at Harry's rather confused look and held his gaze for one wonderful moment. Then, when he was sure he had Harry's attention, he looked purposefully at the door, with only his eyes, then back at Harry. When he saw that Harry understood (he hoped), he looked at the paper, turned a page, skimmed for a second, then folded the paper, stood up, glanced at Crabbe and Goyle to remind them to stay put, and walked meaningfully and gracefully to the door and out of the Great Hall.

Shortly thereafter, Harry announced abruptly, "I'm done."

"But Harry, where are you -"

"You guys keep eating. I'm fine. I just... uh... forgot something. Meet you in class." And he strode quickly (and rather less gracefully than Draco) to the huge doors and out of the Great Hall.

Just as he exited, before he even had time to look around to see which direction Malfoy had gone, he was seized by the arm and dragged forcefully (oh, so forcefully) to a small alcove by the great hall entrance.

"What the -"

"Hi, Harry."