Fortalius

Chapter 1 - Detention

Detention!

He had detention! He could not believe he had been given detention. And by Snape of all teachers!

Snape had told him, "Draco, usually I pay no heed to the fact that these... disruptions are your fault. I know how hard you've had it. However, I can only let you off so many times. I'm sorry but I must give you detention."

"But Professor -"

"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy, but it will look as if I'm giving you special treatment."

"Exactly!" He'd practically shouted with exaggerated exasperation.

"Mr. Malfoy, if it makes you feel any better you can torture Potter while you serve detention together."

"What?! We have to serve detention together?!" He didn't think he could take it. What if he couldn't restrain himself? What if they ended up alone together and he just couldn't contain himself any longer? Oh, God!

So there they were, walking towards the Dark Forest, being led by that great oaf, Hagrid, and his sorry excuse for a mutt, quite like that time six years ago, in their first year, except this time, they weren't looking for an evil creature. Rather, they were in search of food for Hagrid's newest mutant pet, a two headed, over-sized rabbit with dragon-like wings and a tail that belonged on a fully-grown golden retriever.

Draco sulked and scowled the whole way. This was ridiculous! How could Snape do this to him. He knew his situation - mostly. Draco had had a hard life, growing up with a cold-hearted, deeply disturbed man named Lucius, who was also a bloody Death Eater. Lucius had tried to train Draco to follow in his footsteps, but (as much as Draco loved to make life difficult for others - particularly one specific other) he was never really all that keen on murdering innocent people who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now that his father was in Azkaban, he did not have to worry about that too much anymore, but he was still quite damaged, and it was BLOODY UNFAIR of Snape to give him detention. Or was he just spoiled. It was hard to say. But either way he was very unhappy about this arrangement.

"Oh, give it a rest Malfoy. It's just bloody detention. You don't have to throw a hissy fit," Harry spat at him.

Draco just fixed Harry with his famous, copyright Malfoy Death Glare. Harry glared back. He'd gotten surprisingly good at withstanding the effects of the Malfoy Death Glare. Draco was impressed. Most shrunk away at this glare. Perhaps it was because Harry was subjected to it so often.

--There's a face that we wear in the cold light of day.

It's society's mask, It's society's way,

And the truth is

That it's all a facade! --

They finally arrived at the edge of the Dark Forest, and Hagrid turned around to talk to them. "A'right, boys. So remember, yer lookin' for a turquoise plant with purple leaves and there may be yellow flowers on it, depenin' on whether 'r not the plant is bloomin' righ' now. Now you two go down tha' path, an' I'll go down this one. We meet back 'ere in about an hour an' a half." Crap, they were splitting up. But what if he lost his cool? Okay, self control! Self control! Wait, what was that again?

"Now you two oughtta stay together, and no fightin'! You-know-who may not be lurkin in 'ere any more, but there are other things. Stay on guard. See you in an hour an' a half then." Strange that Hagrid still couldn't say Voldemort's name, thought Draco, but no time to think about that right now. Must focus. Where was I? Oh yeah:

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap!

--------------------

Detention. Again. Nothing different. Snape always gave him detentions. Harry was quite surprised, though, when Snape had given Malfoy detention as well. He hadn't in a few years at least.

Clearly Draco hadn't expected Snape to give him detention either. He scowled and pouted the whole way. That pout that made his bottom lip protrude and look so full and pillowy. I wonder if it's as soft as it looks. No! Can't think that right now. Not sexy not sexy not sexy! Oh, it's no use.

"Oh, give it a rest Malfoy. It's just bloody detention. You don't have to throw a hissy fit." The lip withdrew and Harry focused on glaring at Malfoy.

True, Malfoy had tortured him through all of his seven years at Hogwarts, but over the past year or two, the pranks and insults had become more playful habit than angry and cruel. They were simply part life at Hogwarts. Now that's not to say that these two boys were best buddies. In fact far from it. They were not about to completely forget all the verbal, physical, and magical battles that had gone on between them over the years - but they no longer wanted to Avada Kadavra each other (just minor hexes).

In fact, each had become quite aware that the other had grown incredibly attractive.

When Harry had first noticed that Draco was extremely hot when he was angry, he thought it was just his raging teenage hormones gone mental. When he continued having similar thoughts, had convinced himself that he was obviously clinically insane. After much inner struggling and many, many attempts to convince himself otherwise, he realized what his condition truly was. He had a crush on Draco Malfoy.

It was quite understandable really. Draco was one of the most attractive students at Hogwarts. It was probable that, were they not so afraid of him, every girl in the school would be jumping on top of him. Harry had no intention of doing anything resembling that, but took to staring at him during classes, meals, and any other time he could, and getting his attention in any way necessary. God, he's hot when he's angry.

-- Look at me, and tell me who I am.

Why I am what I am.

Call me a fool, and it's true I am.

I don't know who I am. --

Harry wasn't gay per se. He'd never had a crush on any other boys. He'd even had minor crushes on a couple girls. But nothing like this. This was far stronger that any attraction he'd ever felt before.

Had he always felt this way and just never really realized it? He had, before he discovered his crush, spent a lot of time glaring at and fighting with Draco Malfoy. Was there always some subconscious longing that just hadn't truly presented itself until now? Had he always wanted Draco Malfoy and just didn't understand his own thoughts and emotions? Or had he just finally crossed that thin line between love and hate? He wasn't sure. But he was quite sure now that he had a crush, and there was nothing he could do about it.

--------------------

-- It's such a shame.

I'm such a sham.

No one knows who I am --

Draco had been having almost identical thoughts to Harry's. Had there always been this subconscious yearning drawing him to Harry Potter? Making him beg for attention by pissing Harry off?

Potter had tons of fans. He was the Boy Who Bloody Lived. He could probably get any girl (and many guys) he wanted.

So why hadn't he had a girlfriend in almost two years? Hmm, curious. Anyways...

When Draco first began having naughty thoughts about Harry Potter, he'd bashed himself in the head with a very large book and brushed it off as nothing. But the thoughts kept coming and he was getting tired of hitting himself in the head with various objects. The self-punishment method he had picked up from Daddy clearly wasn't going to solve anything. He now had a large lump, hidden by silky, silver-blonde hair, and a raging crush on the famous Harry Potter, who until then he had always thought to be a bloody git.

--------------------

So Hagrid lumbered off down his path, leading a whimpering Fang, and Harry and Draco were left to stand there dumbly.

"I guess we'd better head in then. Would you like me to go ahead of you and scatter rose petals in your path or shall I follow behind you and fan you with a large leaf," Harry said, eyebrow raised, trying to hide the grin brought on by his own cleverness.

"Well its quite chilly already, so you may leave the fan, and no need to scatter rose petals, but I suppose you can walk ahead of me so if there are any obstacles in the path, you can trip first and warn me. Plus any man-eating creatures will eat you first and give me time to draw my wand," Draco replied. Surely Draco was just as witty as Harry, but that was the best he could come up with at the moment.

"Right then. Follow me."

"Ladies first." That was more like it.

--------------------

"Purple flower, turquoise leaves..."

"No you dolt." Malfoy gave Harry a small, but hard shove in the back of the head. "It was a turquoise plant, purple leaves, possibly yellow flowers. Honestly is it that complicated?"

"Since when do you listen to anything Hagrid says anyways?"

"I retain information well, thank you very much. You should know by now how incredibly smart I am. Besides, I know the plant well. We use it in potions a ton. But of course you wouldn't know hair-growth potion from a glass of pumpkin juice, now would you?"

"Oh, just shut up Malfoy. Have you seen the bloody plant yet?"

"Don't you think maybe I would have said something if I had seen it. I'd like to find it and get out of here as much as you would."

They'd been walking for at least a half an hour in silence except for short spats every once in a while. Malfoy was staring at the back of Harry's head. At the wild black mass that he dreamt of getting his fingers tangled in. If only he could tell the other boy how he felt without getting laughed at or hexed. But he had to be strong. He was a Malfoy. Had to stay strong. Had to.

Harry walked staring straight ahead, trying desperately not to trip and make an ass out of himself (though he did fail at that a couple of times, stumbling over hidden tree roots). He so wanted to turn around and tell Malfoy that he couldn't stop thinking about him and wanted to spend every waking moment with him and wanted to throw him down on the forest floor and do things to him that really weren't allowed on school grounds.

Suddenly Harry stopped short. (So suddenly that Draco almost crashed into him.) "Shh!" he whispered harshly.

"What?" Draco said, apparently too loud for Harry's liking.

"SHHH!!" Harry whispered again. He grabbed Draco by the sleeve of his robes and dragged him roughly off the path and behind a large tree, slamming him against it and then pressing himself against the tree just to Draco's right so they were shoulder to shoulder.

"What the bloody hell to you think you're doing?!!" Draco whispered/yelled, panting slightly.

"I heard something - something big - heading our way. Listen."

They were silent for a moment. It was clear something was heading their way. Not necessarily something huge, but big enough that they thought it best to stay out of its way. It was coming fast too. Draco leaned forward to look around the tree and try to see what it was.

"No!" Harry grabbed Draco by the shoulders, shoved him back against the tree, pinning him there with his own body. They were now face to face, pressed together, still panting from fear and adrenaline, both wide eyed from shock at what Harry just did, from the realization of the way they were standing at the moment, and again from fear of what was headed their way.

The thing came, past them, and ran off in the other direction, and as it passed them and kept going, Harry saw it was a centaur - still potentially very dangerous, since centaurs and wizards were not on particularly good terms, but much less dangerous than the many other creatures it could have been.

"It's just a centaur," Harry breathed in relief. Neither boy moved. Both just stood there, still pressed against the tree, breathing deeply, trying to regain their composure and get their heart rates back to normal. They stood, staring at each other, emeralds, boring into molten silver, swallowing emeralds, faces no more than two inches apart.

-- I feel your fingers - cold on my shoulder -

Your chilling touch, as it runs down my spine -

Watching your eyes as they invade my soul -

Forbidden pleasures I'm afraid to make mine. --

Harry's eyes fell to those full, pink lips, and they were beckoning, calling, taunting him. What would Malfoy do? Say? Harry didn't care at the moment. He just wanted a taste. Just one tiny taste, and then... then what? Who cared. Harry closed the tiny gap between them and their lips met for a moment, and both boys' heart rates shot back up again.

--Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game

Too late for second guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap

Lyrics from "Wicked" by Stephen Schwartz --

It was a short, light kiss, only lasting a few milliseconds at most, but at the same time so intense. (They aren't as soft as they look. They're softer!). Then Harry pulled back and both boys stared at each other, eyes wider than before, and finally Harry spoke.

"Oh, crap! What the hell did I just do? I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry..."

"I'm not," Draco cut him off, grinning. God, he's even sexier when he smiles. Harry was about to say something else, but completely forgot what when Draco's mouth moved to meet his, still timid, but much less so now that Harry had made the first move.

-- This is the moment! This is the day,

When I send all my doubts and demons on their way!

Give me this moment -

This precious chance -

I'll gather up my past

And make some sense at last! --

When Harry recovered from the shock of Malfoy kissing him now, he began to kiss back and all timidity was lost and gone. They sank into the kiss, both glad for the support of the tree. Harry opened his mouth just slightly and locked onto Draco's lower lip. Draco gave a tiny gasp, and, after a moment, his mouth opened in return and a tongue flickered out, tip just touching Harry's lip. This time, Harry gasped, and soon both tongues met, and they sunk even deeper into this wonderful kiss.

The kiss was slow and tender, and oh, so intense. Draco's hands came up from his sides to Harry's back, running slowly up and down and finally encircling him at the waist, holding him tight, as if to secure him there. Harry's hands moved from Malfoy's shoulders, to touch his face, feeling the satin skin, and from there, moving down to his soft neck, then back to run his fingers through the silver-blonde strands of silk. One of Draco's hands moved up Harry's back to caress the back of his neck and he felt a warm shiver run through the other boy. Draco held Harry tighter, closer, wanting to feel his warmth, absorb it. Harry's mouth was so soft, so warm. He wanted to stay there forever. But both needed to come up for air. So they did.

They stood, still pressed together, foreheads resting against each other, panting, hearts racing, just standing, feeling the others warm breath against their face. Neither could believe what had just happened. Could this be real? It had to be. It was too incredible and intense to be anything but. Their eyes met.

Suddenly they were very aware of where they were, who they were with, and, oh yeah, weren't they supposed to be doing something? Grudgingly, each let go of the other quite quickly and they stood awkwardly for a moment.

"Er... we should... uh... go get the... uh..." Harry ran a hand through his hopelessly messy locks, unable to form a comprehensible sentence, hoping Malfoy would get the gist of it.

"Right... we, uh... yeah, the... plant... thing... we should, uh..."

"Yeah."

And with that intelligent conversation over, they headed back to the path and continued looking for the plant in silence. Both minds on the events that had just taken place. Both wondering what the other was thinking. Neither wanting to speak.

-- No one speaks - Not one word -

But what words are in our eyes

Silence speaks - Loud and clear -

All the words we (don't) want to hear! --

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They returned to the entrance of the forest an hour and twenty minutes after they had entered, each carrying a bushel of the odd-looking plant, which Harry did in fact recognize from potions now that he thought about it.

They stood, still silent, for a few minutes until Harry finally said, "Uh, Draco?" He looked up for the first time since their kiss to meet Draco's face.

"Harry." Draco leaned against a large rock, staring intently at the plant in his hand, refusing to look up.

"Um... do you think we ought to maybe... talk... about..." He didn't really know what to say.

"What?"

"You know... what just happened... in there... did you... are you..." Harry sighed. What was he supposed to say?

Draco finally looked up, mask of disdain properly in place. "I don't know what you're talking about, Potter."

-- Look around you! I have found

You cannot tell, by looking at the surface,

What is lurking there beneath it!

See that face! Now, I'm prepared to bet you,

What you see's not what you get -

'Cause man's a master of deceit! --

What?! "Don't give me that crap, Malfoy! You know damn well exactly what I'm talking about! We just bloody snogged!!" Surprisingly, the mask fell right away and Draco dropped his gaze again.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "Force of habit, you know." He sighed. "It's just... I never... I never meant for... and you..." He sighed again. "Fuck, I can't even form a bloody sentence. I... maybe we should just..." he sighed, "pretend it never happened."

It wasn't supposed to happen. He shouldn't have let it happen. Draco had had a moment of weakness. A forbidden feeling - weakness. A moment of longing and needing and... weakness. That was it. Draco hated feeling weak! He had always been hexed and punished for being weak. How could he have let this happen? He had lost his will power and given in to his urges. And now that he'd given in, he'd want more. But he couldn't. He wasn't supposed to be weak. He had to be strong. Just had to... Had to.

"Oh." Harry couldn't believe his ears. That kiss was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced. He had snogged before, but never was it that intense, that tender, that... meaningful. Had it really meant nothing to Draco. How could anyone kiss that passionately and feel nothing. That couldn't be. But now Draco wanted to pretend it never happened? None of it? Harry felt a pang in his chest. "Well, if that's what you want, then... fine." He said it a bit more harshly then he intended. He didn't want Draco to see how hurt he was. Oh, well. It was probably written all over his face anyway.

"I mean... I just... I really think its best," Draco sighed. He glanced up at Harry quickly to gage his reaction. He could see the hurt in the other boy's eyes, though they were now focused on the ground. And this time, he wasn't glad the hurt was his fault. That kiss had meant the world to Draco. He had felt how much Harry cared for him, wanted him. He was feeling just as much pain as he saw in Harry's beautiful emerald eyes right now. But it could never work. Nothing could ever happen between them. Nothing more that is. "Its best," he repeated, more to convince himself than Harry.

--Once upon a dream,

You were heaven-sent to me,

Was it never meant to be?

Was it just a dream? --

They heard heavy footsteps and rustling, and soon Hagrid emerged from the forest carrying what had to be an entire bush of the plant that was to become mutant bunny food.

"Hey boys. Oh good, I see ye found some. I'll jus' take tha'. Now you two run along to supper an' I'll bring this back to Sally. She'll be gettin' hungry I wager. I'll see ye back at the castle then." If the two boys had failed to act casual and nonchalant, Hagrid hadn't noticed, and was off to his cabin before either could ask, "Sally?"

"Harry..."

"We'd better get going."

"Harry, I..." Harry shot him an unusually blank look and he finished with, "Yeah, I guess so." They walked in complete silence all the way back to the castle and split up at the entrance doors. They certainly couldn't walk in to dinner together.