Growing Up Weasley

Chapter Two ~ Nostalgic Musings

"I thought you loved me, Ronald Weasley," Hermione cried. "What were you thinking leaving me behind? You are such a prat sometimes Ronald Weasley. You never think of anyone else. I'm never speaking to you again."

"I thought we were friends Ron. Friends and best mates don't just leave," Harry said quietly. "I didn't leave, why did you?"

"Ronald Weasley, what were you thinking? Oh wait, that's right, you weren't," Ginny yelled. "Harry blames himself, you know that? Of course you don't, otherwise you never would have left."

Ron jolted awake, panting. He clutched his hand to his heart in a vain effort to slow his quickly beating heart. He pulled the curtains from his bed and walked over to the window. He could see the first rays of light beginning to appear over the horizon. He looked at the clock in the room to see "Too Early," written on it. It was only 5:30 in the morning, but Ron knew he wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon. He sighed and sat back on his bed. He looked around the room at what he'd be leaving the following morning. He saw the beds and curtains and the other things that every room had. But he saw other things too. He saw more than that. He saw memories and conversations from the last seven years. He sighed once more and decided to get dressed. Ron looked at his clock again. "Still too early." He sighed again and headed down to the common room. He sat in one of the armchairs closest to the fire and stared at the flickering flames for a long while.

"What do I think I'm doing?" he thought to himself. "I have a girlfriend that loves me and things people dream of. And here I am about to throw it all away on a whim." He shook his head slightly. "I must be crazy. I'm running away from Hermione. I can't expect her to wait for me to get my act together. What if she runs off and gets married while I'm off on my self-discovery trip." He blanched at that last thought. "That's it. I'm going to tell Professor Lupin that the disappearing act is off." He sat staring at the fire for a few more minutes, surprised that he didn't feel better now that he wasn't leaving. Realizing that he could only stare at the fire for so long, he decided to wander the castle before heading to Professor Lupin's office. Slowly he stood up and walked out the portrait hole. As he roamed the halls, he kept wondering what he should do. The first place his feet took him to was Fluffy's old lair. He sat down on the cold ! stone floor and thought back to their first year. He smirked as he remembered that they thought Professor Snape was after the stone.

"He didn't turn out so bad," Ron thought. "Since the end of the war, he's been almost nice to the Gryffindors."

Deciding he had spent enough time on a cold stone floor, he got up and let his feet take him to his next destination. Minutes later he found himself walking toward Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. He walked in to find Myrtle actually there and not off trying to find a good peep show.

"Have you decided to come make fun of me too?" she cried.

"Hello Myrtle," he responded.

She looked up. "Oh, it's you. Is Harry with you?" she asked almost shyly.

Ron shook his head. "He's still sleeping. I woke early."

She stopped moaning. "Why?"

Ron slumped his shoulders. "I had a nightmare that was a little too real for my tastes. You see, I had decided that tomorrow I was going to disappear to America in an effort to discover myself. But now I'm not so sure I want to leave."

"Why's that? Why don't you want to leave?" she asked.

"I have a family that loves me and a girlfriend that does too."

Myrtle shrugged. "So stay then."

"Is it really that simple?" Ron asked, shaking his head. "I have to go. I need to have a discussion with Professor Lupin."

Ron left Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and headed towards the Headmaster's office. What should have been a five minute walk felt like seconds as Ron was lost deep in thought. When he reached the gargoyle, he said the password that Professor Lupin have given him if he ever needed to talk.

"The Institute."

Ron went up the stairs now open to him.

"Hello Ron," Professor Lupin remarked.

Ron sighed once more, never realizing he had been doing that a lot. "Hello Professor."

"Have a seat Ron. I wondered when I'd be seeing you up here."

"I can't go through with it Professor." Quietly, he said, "I can't leave Hermione."

"Let me tell you something Ron. You and I both know that I see James and Lily in Harry and Ginny." Ron nodded. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You and Hermione remind me of James and Lily too."

"So you think I should stay here then?" Ron asked.

"I'm not telling you either way. This is an important decision for you to make, but it's one you need to make on your own," Remus explained gently.

Ron put his head in his hands. "I just, I just don't know Professor. I mean, last night at the ball with Hermione was perfect and made me realize she loves me as I am. What would I ever want to give that up?"

"Ron, if she really loves you, she will understand if you decide to leave. Just think about it through the day. Come to see me tomorrow morning like we'd planned and let me know for sure then, alright?"

Ron nodded. "Ok Professor." Ron got up and left the Headmaster's office. Without thinking, Ron found himself in the same hallway as the Room of Requirement. He paced in front of where the door would appear and then entered yet another place filled with memories. Ron was obviously thinking of the DA as the room looked exactly like it did for meetings. He looked around and smiled. The DA was the reason for his good OWL score in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He shook his head at the memory of fifth year. "What a year that way," he thought. The next stop was the Whomping Willow and the path to the Shrieking Shack.

"Hello Mr. Weasley," someone said softly as Ron entered the Shrieking Shack.

Ron whirled around. "Professor Snape. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Nor did I you Mr. Weasley," Professor Snape responded quietly.

The two were quiet for several minutes as each left the other to their thoughts. "If I may ask what are you doing here Mr. Weasley?"

Ron sighed yet again. "I'm trying my best to sort out my thoughts; trying to decide what will happen when we all leave tomorrow."

Professor Snape scoffed. "What's to decide? You go home, get married, have a lot of kids and have a good life."

"What do you care? You've never liked me in the past."

Professor Snape sighed. "While you may have never been a favorite, I never hated you. And contrary to popular belief, I do care what happens to my students."

Ron's shoulders sagged as he answered his now former professor. He ran a hand through his hair. "It's not quite that simple. If I decide I want to, there's a place for me at the Colorado Institute of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"I take it since you're telling me that your friends and family are unaware. Might I ask why?"

Ron was quiet; in fact so quiet Severus thought he wouldn't answer. But finally he did. "For starters they would probably try and talk me out of it and that's the last thing I want." He sighed. "But that's not even the biggest reason they don't know. If I end up at The Institute it's because I'm trying to get out of the shadow of my family. My family and my best friend. I love all of them, but no one ever sees me for me. I'm either 'whoever Weasley' or Harry Potter's best friend. No one sees me for me." Then softly he added, "I don't even know who I am anymore."

An awkward silence fell between them as Severus searched for something to say. "I'm not going to tell you I know how it feels to be you. But what do you want? Do YOU want to accept the position and The Institute?"

"I'm not sure if I do or not. Part of me want to stay here--a woman who loves me, a family that would do anything for me, and the best of friends. What more could anyone want? But then I think about it and I ask what kind of life would it be if I didn't know what kind of man I was."

Severus nodded. "All seems logical to me. In this case, I would suggest finding yourself. Your family will understand, though I would suggest telling them before you leave for The Institute."

Ron shook his head before speaking firmly. "If I tell them before I leave, they'll find a way to keep me here. They love me too much just to let me leave."

Severus sighed and Ron thought he would say something, but the man remained quiet for several minutes. "If you don't mind me asking, what's the position at The Institute?"

Ron grinned. "Defense Against the Dark Arts. For the first year I would be nothing more than apprentice. I may know quite a bit on curses and the like, but I don't know near enough on dark creatures."

Severus nodded and looked at his watch. "We had better be getting back before people miss us. When, Mr. Weasley, were you planning on leaving if you do indeed decide to go?" he asked as they left the Shrieking Shack and headed back towards the school.

"The plan is to take a portkey right after the train gets into Platform 9 ¾. You know, leave during all the hustle and bustle." The two men were quiet as they finished their journey back to the school.

As they reached the doors, Severus spoke again. "I wish you luck in your decision Mr. Weasley. If you do indeed teach at The Institute, I would very much like to pay you a visit."

Ron nodded. "Fine by me. If I don't get a chance to give you my final decision before I leave, just ask Professor Lupin. I'll make sure he knows it's alright to tell you." At that, the two men parted way and Ron headed up to the Gryffindor dormitories while Professor Snape presumably headed off to the dungeons. His looming decision weighed in his mind as he made his way to meet his friend and girlfriend. He gave the Fat Lady the password and entered the common room. To his surprise, there wasn't anyone in the common room. At least there wasn't until Hermione came down.

"Hi Ron," she smiled lovingly at him.

"Hermione," he responded as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

"Where were you earlier? I went up to your room to take you up," she grinned devilishly," and you were gone."

"I went for a walk. It really hit me last night that we leave here for good tomorrow. I'm just a little nostalgic is all, I guess."

She nodded. "I wondered when it would hit you. Are you alright with it?" she asked with a touch of concern.

He grinned. "I'm ok. But my stomach's not. Let's go." He pulled her out of the portrait hole as she laughed at him.

"Come on Ron, we're going to miss the start of the Leaving Feast.," Hermione called up.

"I'm coming right down," he called back as he took one last look at his room.

Hermione smiled warmly as her boyfriend came down the stairs. He took her hand in his, wanting to know she was near him. "Harry and Ginny are down already. I told them we'd meet them there."

Ron nodded in understanding. "Well, let's head down then, shall we?"

And so together they walked hand-in-hand to the Great Hall for their final Leaving Feast.

"You know, even though I'm ok with leaving, it's still a little strange to know that come tomorrow the world will look at us like adults," Hermione commented as they reached the Great Hall.

"It is a little strange, but I'm sure you'll handle it just fine. Just like you handle everything else," he smiled at his girlfriend. They took seats next to each other and across from Harry and Ginny.

"I was afraid we would have to send out a search party for you two," Ginny joked.

Ron scowled at his sister. "I have been good about you and Harry dating. That can change."

Hermione playfully punched Ron's shoulder before crying, "Ron!"

Ron held up his hands. "Fine, fine. I'll be nice to Ginny and Harry."

Ginny smirked. "You know Hermione, you really should have started dating my brother earlier. You help keep him in line."

"Yeah Hermione. If it weren't for you, I would have been beating to a bloody pulp weeks ago," Harry laughed.

"Tonight," Professor Lupin began, "tonight we say good-bye to our seventh years. Now, they don't know I'm doing this, but I'd like it very much if our Head Boy and Head Girl would come up and say a few words. Harry, Hermione," he gestured.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other quickly before wordlessly getting out of their seats.

"You go first Hermione. I had that honor last night," Harry whispered.

Hermione glared at him. "Fine," she hissed back. She took a deep breath before addressing her classmates. "I'm not sure what to say. As most of you know, I usually prepare these types of things in advance. But I'll make do. I've spent the last seven years wandering these halls and I've learned many of life's lessons along the way--lessons about life and love and living your life. But there's one lesson I learned during my first year and I hope I never forget it. That lesson was that life means nothing without friends to share it with. No matter what happens, I know I'll always have someone to share my joys with and someone to comfort me when things don't go so well. Life means nothing without friends," she looked to Harry.

He grinned sheepishly. "I guess it's my turn then. I'm sure all of you know that my life hasn't been easy. I don't even want to imagine my life without my friends. They've pulled me through so many things. Friends are what chance your life for the better. Not fame, not fortune, and not power. Friends are what you risk everything for. Friends are the people that knock some sense into you when you're acting like an idiot. Friends are the people that care about you because you're you, not because of an event you don't remember. And I hope I never forget that. And I hope you never forget it either." Together, Harry and Hermione walked back to their seats. Before they reached their seats, Professor Lupin began speaking once more.

"Thank you Harry and Hermione. I happen to be living proof of just how much friends can mean. When I went to Hogwarts just like you're doing now, I had three friends that became animagi for me so they could come with me during the full moon. Friends mean the world. That said, let us eat." He waved his hands and food appeared on the tables.

Conversation ceased as people began to eat. But it wasn't long before some had had their fill.

"You know, I don't know what I'll do without you guys next year," Ginny remarked.

Hermione swatted at her jokingly. "You'll be plenty busy. I'm sure you'll make Head Girl. Between that, Quidditch and studying for N.E.W.T.s you'll be fine. Plus, we can always visit with you during Hogsmeade weekends. And we're all just an owl away if you want to talk."

Harry put his arm around Ginny. "You'll be just fine. You'll be so busy you won't even notice we're gone. It'll be a great year for you. You'll finally rule the school. Plus, no Parkinson or Bulstrode to deal with. Come to think of it, it's been rather nice not dealing with Malfoy this year. It's been rather peaceful indeed."

Ron nodded vigorously. "It has been rather nice without him making his nasty remarks and trying to get us into trouble. I remember when Dumbledore said he'd died. I couldn't decide if it was better that he had died or if he had lived and spent the rest of his life in Azkaban. Thinking on it, it's better that he died. At least now he can't escape from Azkaban."

"Seriously Ron. The only one who deserved to die was Voldemort himself," Hermione scolded. She saw Ron flinch at the name. "Honestly Ron, he's gone and it's just a name."

"Hey! Let's talk about something a little more upbeat. It is our last Leaving Feast," Harry commented.

His friends grinned a little sheepishly. "Sorry Harry," Hermione laughed.

The excited chatter continued for a little while longer as the seventh years discussed what the future outside of Hogwarts would bring while the younger years talked of summer plans. Of course, even after the Leaving Feast had ended, the Gryffindor seventh years stayed up exchanging plans for the rest of their lives. They spoke of jobs and weddings and true loves. They spoke of fond memories and favorite classes. As they exchanged stories, nothing else mattered. It was just the seventh years talking of their hopes and fears and dreams on the eve of entering adulthood. Many of them spoke long into the night. It was early in the morning when the last Gryffindor went to bed and he was still no closer to a decision.