Rating:
PG-13
House:
Schnoogle
Characters:
Harry Potter
Genres:
General Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 07/05/2002
Updated: 05/16/2006
Words: 121,941
Chapters: 23
Hits: 20,898

Year V

The Annoying One

Story Summary:
Jesse McCade's in trouble. He's been bounced through two wizarding schools and is hoping to get kicked out of the wizarding world to embark on career as an illusionist in Vegas (or Monte Carlo)...too bad Dumbledore's got other plans.

Chapter 22 - Chapter 22 - Its Hour Come 'Round At Last

Chapter Summary:
What you've all been waiting for, folks. Nicholas St. John-Dupuis, crazed Magical Assassin (and four time ballroom dancing champion) is locked up in Azkaban after his assault on the Ministry...right where wants to be. However, during his escape, he encounters one little obstacle...an equally crazed witch named Bellatrix Lestrange.
Posted:
05/16/2006
Hits:
515
Author's Note:
As promised...here is the breakout scene (after several rewrites). Just so you know...this chapter gets a little bloody.

Chapter 22

"Its Hour Come 'Round At Last"


Lucas DeMerran stood on the bow of the fishing boat, looking through the scope of the rocket launcher he was holding. Though the prison was a couple kilometers off, he could see it just fine. He glanced over his shoulder at the acolyte who was manning the wheel in the boat's main cabin and nodded. "Okay, make sure we hold this position," he called out over the ocean spray as waves impacted the side of the boat.

Another acolyte, a woman with close cropped hair and a nose ring, joined him on the bow. "Are you sure this will work?"

Lucas grinned at her. "Oh yeah...so long as we keep this boat just outside the magical boundary we should be fine."

"And the rocket launcher?"

"Oh yeah, we're good." Lucas couldn't help chuckling as he explained it to her. "You see...if we were using modern technology, the electronics and targeting gear wouldn't work. But seeing as how I can see the prison, I can aim this baby manually and BOOM...there goes the target."

The acolyte shook her head. "You would think they would realize their vulnerabilities to such tactics."

"Yeah well...that's the cool thing about Old-Worlders, they have this deluded sense that they are untouchable." He looked back through the scope again and examined the guard shack that sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean. "And very soon, they're going to learn how deluded they truly are."

* * * * *


Percy Weasley tried not to flinch as he and the Minister made their way through the corridors of Azkaban. Every time they passed a dementor, he felt an unnatural chill and some of the more unpleasant memories flashed through his mind. However, he managed to push it all aside, after all, it was his job as as assistant to the Minister to handle these situations. Tonight, he was ordered to serve as witness to a dementor's Kiss being issued to a prisoner, a duty that made his stomach feel queasy. But despite that, he still felt a little pride at the fact that he was now part of the Minister's inner circle even if he was basically attending an execution of sorts. A dementor was waiting for them outside the designated cell, but when it spoke to the Minister in its hissing language, Percy could sense that the dementor seemed agitated. Though he didn't get a full grasp of their language, he could make out parts of the conversation.

"What is the status of prisoner 347?" Cornelius Fudge asked the dementor.

~~...Does not feel right...~~

"Explain."

~~...Tainted, this creature is tainted...taste is not good...a meal it will not make...~~

"But you can feed on him?"

~~...Can feed...but taste is like...like poison....~~

One of the aurors assigned to oversee the dementors at the prison stepped forward. "With all due respect, Minister, let's get this over with. This prisoner has the dementors spooked."

Fudge turned to look at the man. "How so, Mr. Kindt?"

"Ever since he arrived here, the dementors have been on edge. Unless ordered to, they stay away from his cell. And..." Kindt hesitated for a moment.

"Yes, Mr. Kindt?"

Kindt shook his head. "I don't know, sir. It's just that when a prisoner is brought here, they are usually broken, most of them begging for mercy whenever a dementor approaches them. But this man...for some reason, the dementors' abilities do not affect him. In the last few days since his arrival, he spent most of his time singing."

Percy shook his head in disbelief. "Surely you exaggerate, Mr. Kindt." A prisoner, singing at Azkaban?

Kindt turned and glared at him, then suddenly smiled as a voice started to echo from the nearby cell.

"Stay around don't play around

This ol' town and all...

Seems like I got to...travel Oooonnnnnnn!"

"Shut up!" yelled Kindt over his shoulder before returning his attention to Percy. "So I'm exaggerating, eh?"


Back in his cell, psychotic killer, magical assassin, four time ball-room dancing champion, and current prison inmate Nicholas St. John-Dupuis only grinned as he continued to sing.

"A lot of people won't get no supper tonight...

A lot of people won't get no justice tonight...

The battle is getting' hotter...

In this iration...Armagideon time..."

A woman's scream from the cell next to his made him snicker as he kept going.

"A lot of people runnin' and hidin' tonight...

A lot of people won't get no justice tonight...

Remember to kick it over...

No one to guide you...Armagideon Time...."

There was another scream followed by the sound of something being thrown against the wall. "Shut up or I'll rip your throat out!"

"Oooh, I'm shaking here, lady! Too bad you can't follow up on that threat with that wall between us!"

"Bold words from someone who is to receive the Dementor's Kiss, boy."

"Oh yes, I forgot about that," chuckled Nicholas, tugging slightly against the chains that held him too the wall. "I guess that makes your threats even more pathetic." He was about to say more when the door to his cell opened. Three men entered the cell, one of them was the auror known as Kindt, the second man Nicholas recognized as the red headed idiot he had punched in the throat at the Ministry. The third man was an older gentlemen who wore expensive and official looking robes. Behind the three of them, waiting outside the doorway and flanked by two other aurors, was a dementor. A smile tugged at the corner of Nicholas' mouth. "Well, I suppose this is to be my council of execution?"

The older man gave him an imperious look that was obviously meant to be intimidating, but it seemed forced. "Your false sense of bravado and arrogance will not change the decision."

Nicholas shook his head, a knowing smile on his face. He wants to project the image of power and importance...but he can't do it. He has no problem sentencing a man to die, but he doesn't have the balls to carry out the sentence himself. "False sense of bravado and arrogance?" he smirked. "This coming from an old-worlder bureaucrat who has to rely on dark creatures to do the dirty work for him."

"Show the Minister some respect, prisoner 347!" hissed Kindt.

"Or what?" Nicholas shot back. "You'll hurt me? Given what you're all here for, I doubt sucking up to your Minister will commute my sentence."

Kindt brought up his wand, but the Minister held out his arm. "Put it away, Mr. Kindt."

"But Minister..."

"Put. It. Away."

Reluctantly, Kindt did what he was told. Nicholas laughed and leaned forward against his chains. "Now that's a good little doggie, obedient like the dumb animal you are."

Before Kindt could respond, the Minister nodded at the younger wizard who stepped forward and began to read from a piece of parchment. "Prisoner 347, you have been charged with and found guilty of the following crimes."

Nicholas grinned and repeated what he was being told...in French. "Le prisonnier trois-cent quarante-sept, le Ministère de la Sorcérie vous avez chargé avec les crimes les crimes suivants."

The red-headed wizard hesitated, glancing at Nicholas before returning his attention to the parchment. "Destruction of private and government property, multiple counts of assault using dark magic, and over a hundred counts of murder."

"La destruction des propriétés privées et celles du Ministère, plusieurs comptes de violence avec la sorcérie obscure, et plus de cent comptes d'homicide."

"For your crimes, the Minister has decreed that you are to receive the dementor's Kiss this very day..."

"À cause de vos crimes, le Ministre a declaré que vous recevras le Baiser du Détraqueur
, aujord-hui..."

"Enough!" snapped the Minister. "Prisoner 347, you are the most vile creature I have ever encountered. It is clear that you are unrepentant of your crimes."

"And damn proud of it, thank you very much," said Nicholas, not bothering to hide his smile. "Look, can we just skip the whole righteous indignation shit? This is getting boring."

"I hope your pride will comfort you in these final seconds," said the Minister as he stepped away and motioned for the dementor and the other two aurors to enter the cell. "Make this quick." He then turned to exit the cell, joining Auror Kindt and the annoying readheaded wizard.



As Percy followed the Minister and Auror Kindt outside the cell, he could hear the prisoner screaming, "Oh god...NOOooooO!!!! The horror, the horror!" Then there was a chuckle. "Mmmm...yummy, what other flavor's you got?"

Percy's head suddenly snapped up. He wasn't sure how he sensed the danger, but he knew something was wrong. He glanced back where the dementor was standing in front of the prisoner and saw the dark creature hesitate, obviously disturbed by the prisoner's lack of fear. Then several shadowy creatures suddenly leapt from the corners of the cell, attacking the dementor. There was an inhuman shriek and it took Percy a moment to realize that it was coming from the dementor as the shadowy creatures began to tear it apart. Before the two aurors inside could react, the prisoner suddenly kicked out, knocking one auror into the shadowy mass attacking the dementor. The other auror managed to bring up a shield charm as one of the shadow creatures lunged at him. Prisoner 347's hands began to glow and his manacles began to melt. Before Percy could shout out a word of warning, the prisoner flung the hot molten metal that hit the auror in the side. The smell of burnt flesh filled the air as the other man began to scream.

Prisoner 347 looked in the direction of the open doorway and grinned. "Tonight's special is Mage ala flambes, slowly roasted to perfection in a nice rich and bloody sauce."

"Protego!" screamed Percy as he saw the prisoner's arms come up. The flames bounced off the magical barrier that now blocked the doorway. "Minister! We need to get moving!" He turned to look in the Minister's direction and saw his superior already running down the corridor.

"You better go with him, Weasley," said Auror Kindt, who reinforced the glowing barrier with a spell of his own.

"But-"

"Your job is to keep the Minister safe and let us experts handle this," snapped Kindt. "Now go!"

Percy took off after the Minister, leaving Kindt to deal with the inmate who kept hurling fireballs against the barrier.


Nicholas shook his head and sighed in disappointment as he hurled a few final fireballs at the magical barrier in the doorway. "Amateurs," he grumbled. He looked down at the remains of the two aurors in hopes of recovering a wand only to see that both wands were broken during the shader feeding fenzy. The dementor was long gone, torn to dissipating pieces of darkness, leaving the shaders to feast on the two dead aurors. Nicholas looked at the auror known as Kindt who was casting more spells to reinforce the barrier. A couple aurors joined Kindt and began to help him. "Oh yeah...definite amateurs."

Nicholas could hear the shouts and occasional screams of the other inmates in the prison, some were shouting obscenities and others encouragement. He allowed himself a tiny grin and looked at the aurors behind the barrier. "Wow...really good, Auror Kindt...it looks like you got me isolated."

Kindt, to his credit, didn't show any fear. "You may have killed the dementor and those two aurors, but you will not make it out of that cell alive, prisoner 347," he said.

Nicholas cocked his head to one side, the smirk still tugging at the corner of his mouth while the shaders began to throw themselves and claw at the barrier. "Don't be too sure, old-worlder," he said. "There are other ways out of this cell."

"You are done, boy!" shrieked the female prisoner locked up in the cell next to Nicholas'. "You are a fool!"

"A fool, am I?" said Nicholas as he looked at the wall that separated his cell from hers. He clenched his fist and a bright ball of white flame began to form around it. "Better than being dead I suppose." He threw the fireball at the wall, guessing where the occupant of the cell might be standing. The wall exploded and Nicholas calmly stepped through the gaping hole. "As I was saying, there are other ways to esca-"

He was cut off as someone tackled him from the shadows. Sharp fingernails raked across the side of face, but he managed to block another hand whose fingers were apparently trying to go for his eyes. When his vision cleared, he found himself staring at a woman in her late thirties with long black tangled hair and wild bloodshot eyes that hinted at more than a healthy dose of insanity. "You are no follower of the Dark Lord!" the woman screeched.

Nicholas punched her in the face and threw her aside. "Of course not," he said as he rolled back to his feet, "but let's keep that our little secret." Then he shook his head a second later, as if he had actually thought about it for a moment. "On second thought," he said as he kicked the downed woman, "how about I kill you and just let it be my secret, okay?"

"Over here!" he heard an auror shout outside the cell door. "He's in Bellatrix Lestrange's cell!" Nicholas turned and smiled at the auror as they kicked open the door and pointed their wand at him. "Stupef-auugh!!!!" A shader had slipped in from Nicholas' cell and attacked the auror, ripping his throat out. The auror's wand dropped to the ground and rolled across the stone floor as more shaders oozed/leapt for the open doorway and began attacking the other aurors and dementors outside the cell.

The wand rolled to a stop between Nicholas and the crazed witch. "MINE!" they both screamed, leaping for the wand. They both grabbed the wand at the same time, but Nicholas managed to yank the wand away from the woman and pointed it at her. "HA! I win, you di-eep!" He collapsed to his knees and dropped the wand after the witch had kicked him in the crotch.

"...Owie..." he managed to squeak.

The witch grabbed the wand up off the floor and pointed it at him as he tried to get up. "Now it's your turn to die, pretender!" she half-screamed/half-laughed. "Avada Kedavra!"

Nicholas pulled the mangled body of the auror in front of him, using the dead man as shield against the curse, then threw a fireball at the witch that sent her scurrying for cover. "Okay, you are so dead," he said, noting that his voice still sounded a little higher than normal. He then threw the dead body at her and limped his way out the doorway, sending several more fireballs in her direction to cover his retreat. "Hey...no fair using the dead body as a shield after I used it!"


Back out in the corridor, Kindt managed to bring up another barrier as he saw Prisoner 347 stumble out of Bellatrix Lestrange's cell, throwing fireballs into it. A dementor moved to attack Prisoner 347, but was attacked by more of those shadow creatures that had suddenly appeared in the man's cell.

Or maybe they were always there.

Kindt shuddered at that thought. It would make sense...he seemed unafraid of the dementors. He played us for fools...

Kindt pushed the fear back and glanced back at the two other aurors that had come to reinforce the barrier. "Hughes, Booth...we're falling back."

"But he's not armed, sir."

Another fireball hit the barrier. "You were saying? We're too confined here, we need to get out in the open if we want a chance to take him down."

They started to retreat down the corridor, Kindt continuing to put up barriers behind them. He realized that they wouldn't do much, but that didn't matter...so long as the barriers managed to slow Prisoner 347 down, it would buy them time to get to the guard shack and get some help...if they made it that far.


Nicholas saw the aurors retreating down the corridor and shook his head. "The UK's finest," he muttered in disgust. "Fucking cowards...." He kicked the body of a dead auror on the ground out of annoyed frustration...and saw a wand roll out of the mutilated corpse's hand. A smile formed on his lips. "Well, well...the day's looking up." With a slight gesture of his right hand, the wand levitated up off the ground and into his fingers.

A small explosion from the cell he had just left informed him that the crazy witch had indeed survived his attempt to bury her in the rubble. This fact was confirmed when the crazy lady stepped out into the corridor, dusty and dirty, but still looking at him with those wild and bloodshot eyes. "YOU!" she screamed, wildy waving her wand at him.

Several red streaks of energy shot out of her wand, but Nicholas had already thrown up a barrier of his own that sent the hurled curses flying back at the witch. He then dropped the barrier and started aiming for the walls, blasting holes into various cells, filling the corridor with dust and rubble. Other prisoners burst out of their cells, causing enough of a diversion for Nicholas to continue down the corridor after the three aurors that were escaping. He willed the wand into a sword and grinned. "And now...the fun begins."



Percy Weasley and Minister Fudge had barely reached the guard shack when they heard a few explosions come from within the prison. Percy heard several screams and watched in horrified fascination as the roof of part of the prison exploded. He could see several dark shapes and realized that they were dementors and they were fleeing.

"T-this can't be happening," stammered Fudge as they entered the shack. "We were well protected...."

"Apparently not, Minister," said Percy, momentarily shocked at the disgust in his own voice. He had always thought of the Minister as a strong and powerful man, but now he was barely more than a simpering coward. This was the man he had tied his career to? Percy shook his head for a moment and pushed those thoughts aside. He could worry about this later. He had to get the Minister and himself off this island. "We need to get to the fireplace and floo back to the Ministry."

A few seconds later, the fire was going and Percy had barely thrown floo powder into the fire when he was shoved aside by the Minister who jumped into the fireplace. Percy pushed aside his irritation and was about to follow the Minister in the fire when he caught a flash out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look out the window of the shack that overlooked the surrounding ocean. He saw something was streaking toward the shack real fast and quickly dove into the fireplace. "Ministry of Magic!" he managed to scream when the object hit.

The guard shack exploded and Percy felt the world disintegrate around him as the fireplace he had just stepped into was destroyed. Whatever caused the explosion had also sent some sort of shockwave into the floo portal, disrupting it. He suddenly felt disoriented as the floo connection literally shattered, leaving him in total blackness for a moment...then he felt cold and realized that he was falling and caught a glimpse of the island before plunging into the ocean.


Partially burned, beaten, and bleeding, Kindt exited the prison and limped toward the guard shack, tightly gripping his wand. Hughes and Booth were gone now, one dragged off by one of those shadow creatures while the other was hit with a killing curse by one of the prisoners. Kindt managed to fight his way out, but knew he couldn't hold out much longer.

Damn the Minister,

he thought to himself as he continued to stagger along. One man did this and we were not prepared for it!

Kindt had heard the rumors over the last month...that He-Who-Must-Not-Named had returned, that he hadn't, that it was all a work of fiction by that Potter brat and that senile wizard Dumbldore....and Kindt was a fool to believe the Ministry line. He did note, however, that Bellatrix Lestrange, a known Death Eater and fanatical follower of You-Know-Who, denied that prisoner 347 was a Death Eater. And while he didn't completely believe Lestrange, there was that little voice that kept asking him the same question over and over again...what if she was telling the truth?

If Lestrange was telling the truth, that meant there was another group out there...he shuddered at that thought before pushing it back to the corner of his mind. He could worry about that later. Right now, his only goal was to get to the guard shack and floo his way out...of...there...he suddenly groaned and dropped to his knees when he came upon the burning remains of the guard shack.

No...this can't be happening.

"Aw, too bad," snickered that now familiar and hated voice Kindt was beginning to fear. "You're only way off this rock...gone."

Kindt suddenly spun around, his anger and fear giving him the energy he needed for the curse. "CRUCIO!"

Prisoner 347 brought his sword up, blocking the spell, its blade glowing slightly as it absorbed the red bolt of energy that crackled harmlessly around it. "Wow, an unforgivable coming from an auror?" He shook his head and clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. "Now what would the Ministry say about-"

The ground suddenly exploded around them, knocking both Kindt and Prisoner 347 off their feet. Kindt looked up and saw Bellatrix Lestrange standing several feet away, flanked by two other prisoners. All three of them had their wands out and sent curses flying. Kindt brought his wand up and managed to block a curse that was hurled at him.

Prisoner 347 blocked the two curses that were sent at him. "Hey, do you mind?" he snarled angrily as he waved his left arm and an unseen force suddenly knocked Lestrange and her companions off their feet. "I'm trying to kill a Ministry official here!" He then let out a feral scream as he swung his sword at Kindt, shattering the auror's magical shield as if it were made of glass.

Kindt unconsciously jumped back, but he knew that there was no way he could avoid the blade and winced as he felt the blade's edge catch him across the chest. However, he was shocked that prisoner 347 didn't follow with a killing blow, but instead chose to step back, his sword changing back into a wand. Kindt glanced at his chest . Yes, it cut through skin and drew blood, but it was a light wound. He brought his wand up, readying his next curse when Prisoner 347 and flashed him an evil grin and then whispered, "Crudusceto!"

Kindt was about to send another cruciatus curse when he suddenly felt a throbbing pain in his chest. He stumbled forward and then screamed in agony when the throbbing pain became a tearing sensation that ripped apart his ribcage, but his scream was cut off as his blood exploded out of his body, ripping his chest apart and throwing his now mangled corpse backward.

Bellatrix Lestrange scrambled back to her feet, pulling her wand up. She had suspected what prisoner 347 was, but now having "tasted" his magic, she was certain. "Guilder!" she hissed, then her eyes widened in shock she saw the man's sword shift back into a wand. "No, it's not possible!" Then she saw the auror known as Kindt literally explode as the blood was ripped out of his body and coalesced into a hovering blob in front of Prisoner 347.

A strong hand grabbed her shoulder. "Bella, we must go, the Dark Lord awaits us."

Bellatrix shrugged off her husband's hand. "No, Rodolphus, we must stop him...he is an abomination...he must be-" She was cut off as the floating blob of blood was sent flying in their direction, slamming into and covering all three of them. When Bella finally wiped the blood out of her face, she saw that Prisoner 347 had vanished, though she the heard the cawing sound of a vulture fading off in the distance...it almost sounded like...laughter.

"Bella," Rodolphus Lestrange said again. "We must go before the Ministry brings in reinforcements." Rastaban nodded in agreement, and then disappeared with a pop as he dis-apparated.

Bellatrix looked out into the darkness. "This is not over, Guilder," she hissed. "We will find you...I will find you." Then she and her husband dis-apparated, leaving behind the burning remains that had once been Azkaban Prison.

* * * * *

Back on the deck of the boat, Lucas was putting the rocket launcher away when he heard a screech. He looked up and smiled at the Vulture as it gracefully circled once before descending to the boat. At about five feet above the deck, the vulture seemed to grow larger, changing into a shape of a man. A second later, the vulture was gone and Nicholas St. John-Dupuis was walking towards his friend, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Welcome back," said Lucas as he high-fived and then hugged his friend. "One hell of a show."

Nicholas returned the hug and then looked back at the island. "Hey...it's not everyday one gets to destroy one of the most infamous prisons in the world."

"Did you manage to tag some Death Eaters?" asked Lucas.

"Oh yeah," said Nicholas as he pulled out the blood stained wand. A cold smile formed on his lips. "You could say I marked three of them...all we gotta' do now is...follow the blood."

"Nice," said Lucas. "And survivors on the island?"

"Not going to happen," Nicholas assured him. "The shaders are in a feeding frenzy and will kill everything before they dissipate. No survivors."

He then reached over and turned on the portable stereo system that was on the deck, singing along with the tunes as the CD's main track began to play.


Now the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin' to the top
The sheik he drove his Cadillac
He went a-cruisin' down the ville
The muezzin was a' standing
On the radiator grille

The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah

* * * * *

As the boat sped off into the darkness, a beaten and battered shape clutched a piece of driftwood, unseen by the boat's occupants and unheard as Percy Weasley began to slowly kick his way towards the mainland.


And thus ends the breakout scene. Next chapter, the aftermath and Jesse McCade pays a visit to the hospital wing to talk to Dolores Umbridge. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I myself wasn't too happy with it because it kept reading like a Jerry Bruckheimer script...note to self, stop watching action movies. Well...you know the drill...read, review, threaten...etc...etc...etc...