Year V

Chapter Eight

Ginny and Joscoe's Not-So-Excellent Adventure

In Southern Germany, there is a large castle called Hohenzollern, perhaps one of the largest and most beautiful castles in Germany. It attracts tourists from all over the world and many tours are conducted through its halls…but not at two in the morning, and the tours did not take visitors to the top of one of the castle's many towers.

But Ginny Weasley wasn't a tourist and she wasn't quite sure how she got there. Only moments earlier, she was in a room at the Leaky Cauldron talking to the American boy, Jesse, and holding his cat when Jesse suddenly tried to grab the cat from her. Then there was a flash of light and she found herself standing on top of a castle tower with Joscoe in her arms. Her first instinct was to call out for help, but she held back and looked down at the cat.

"Did you do this?" she asked.

The calico only purred and looked up at her in reply, which pretty much answered that question.

"Why?"

Joscoe responded with a yawn and then put his head down on her arm and closed his eyes. Seconds later, he had fallen asleep.

"Great," Ginny muttered as she sat down on the roof of the tower and looked down at the rest of the castle below. "Trapped with an Apparating cat at a castle I don't know…what next?"

She yawned and pulled part of her cloak over to cover both herself and Joscoe. It wouldn't hurt to get some sleep, and the cat was obviously too tired to go anywhere at the moment. And after all that had happened in Diagon Alley, a few hours of peace and quiet in an unknown place away from it all would be good for her. As she closed her eyes, she couldn't help thinking about her family and how concerned they would be, but she was tired…just a few hours…of…sleep………..

* * * * * *

Just north of Hohenzollern castle is the small town of Rottenburg. Rottenburg, though it was no stranger to modern times, stubbornly clung to its past and small town roots. Tourists who visited the place, delighted at the sights of the small German town, including the ruins of the old manor house that was on the outskirts of town. Legend had it that the old ruin was haunted, another rumour persisted that a crazy old woman was seen around the area. But whenever a wayward traveler searched the place, all they found was a crumbling ruin…nothing more. And yet, the legend and rumour were true. The place was haunted and a crazed hag named Sabine lived there. Sabine the Insane, Sabine the Terrible, Sabine the Evil…there were quite a few names, but those who knew of her existence in the magical world referred to her as "She-who-should-have-her-arse-tossed-in-St. Mungos-and-the-key-thrown-away."

For Sabine was quite insane, even for what most people would refer to as a "crazed hag". At the height of Voldemort's reign of terror, even the Death Eaters were hesitant to call upon her for fear that she would randomly kill someone because she imagined they had offended her. It was once said that she had chased a Death Eater across Europe and turned him into a parrot because he had scratched her cauldron. When the Dark Lord had been defeated by Harry Potter, Sabine merely retreated to her ancestral home, contenting herself by collecting or stealing magical artifacts. The irony being that even though she had acquired some powerful artifacts, she never used them. She just collected them and left them sitting around the house which seemed to resemble a junk store instead of an actual house. Until that fateful day…five years ago…when that vile creature took one of her "pretties"…taken…stolen…EATEN!

"My Pretty…"she would say for the hundredth time…or was it the thousandth? Not that it mattered, because no one heard her or cared. "My precious pretty…taken from me…by that…that thing!"

And then she would proceed to wail and moan for several hours before drinking too much wine and passing out. All she had of her "precious pretty" was the corner off a torn piece of parchment. She would look at the small piece of parchment and remember the time when it was whole…when it had power. Tonight was more of the same: hours of her crying over a lost map…a map that was eaten by that foul and evil creature.

"Don't worry, Pretty, I will find you." She took another sip of wine then continued to wallow in her self-pity…until the piece of parchment began to glow.

"Pretty?" Sabine shook her tangled gray hair out of her face as she saw lines begin to form on the parchment. Her eyes widened in surprise when she realized what it meant. "Pretty is here!"

The lines on the parchment began to form into a pattern and names began to appear around the various markings. This continued for nearly minute until finally a glowing red dot appeared and a caption appeared underneath.

Burg-Hohenzollern.

"Hohenzollern!" cried out Sabine. "Pretty is at Hohenzollern! I shall have you back at last!"

She jumped out of her chair and grabbed her wand and a meat cleaver off a nearby table. A moment later, she popped out of existence as she apparated to the castle. She would have her map back, she swore to herself, even if it meant carving through the guts of that vile beast to get it.

* * * * * *

Back at Hohenzollern, the vile beast that had eaten Sabine's map yawned and shook his head. Ginny was awakened when she felt Joscoe move and reached down to scratch him behind the ears. "Good morning, Joscoe."

Joscoe meowed at her in response. Then Ginny felt the world flicker around her and found herself now sitting on the ground outside the castle walls with the cat still sitting in her lap. "Hey!" Ginny snapped. "I'd like a little bit of warning before you do that."

The calico only purred as he jumped out of her lap and onto the soft ground. He started to walk towards the front gate of the castle, then stopped to look back at her.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," said Ginny as she got up off the ground. Maybe she'd be able to find out where they were exactly and contact her parents somehow. She followed the kitten through the front gate and looked around. There was a sign written in German: Willkommen zum Schloß Hohenzollern. There were other words underneath the caption, but it was all in German as well.

Ginny shook her head and cursed softly. Her German wasn't that good, but that could be fixed. She pulled her wand out of her cloak and pointed it at the sign.

"Interpretum."

The words began to shift and ripple on the sign for a few moments before finally clearing up and translating into English.

Welcome to Hohenzollern Castle

Opening Hours:
March 16 - October 30 9:00 am - 5:30 pm.
November 1 - March 15 10:00 am - 4:30 pm.

Tickets:
Can be purchased at the ticket office in the courtyard.
Meeting point for all tours is at the ticket office.

Guided tours:
Start every 30 minutes, depending on the season, and last approximately 30 minutes. Maximum participants per tour: 60.

"Great," Ginny muttered. "You landed us at a tourist attraction. Now where did you go?" She entered the courtyard and saw Joscoe pawing at the front door of what appeared to be a restaurant. After a few more seconds of pawing the door, the calico turned and hissed softly at Ginny.

"Hey, don't hiss at me," said Ginny. "You brought us here."

Joscoe meowed at her again and sat down. Ginny wasn't sure, but she could have sworn the cat was contemplating on what to do next.

"So what now?" Ginny reached over and scratched Joscoe behind the ears. "Think it's about time we go back?"

Joscoe looked back at the door to the restaurant a mewled softly for a few seconds. Obviously, he was little upset about something.

"Look, they're closed. If you want food, we can get some at the Leaky Cauldron."

Joscoe hissed again then looked up at Ginny again, a sad look in his eyes.

"So you're ready to go back now?"

Joscoe only purred and twitched his tail in response.

Ginny sighed and picked up the cat. "Okay…take us back?"

The cat meowed in response and the world around her suddenly disappeared in a flash of white light.

"Nooooooo!" screamed Sabine as she came running out of the shadows, swinging her meat cleaver wildly in the air. "Pretty! Come back!"

She had just apparated into the courtyard of the castle in time to see a red-haired girl pick up the cat. It was almost like five years earlier…when that annoying little American boy had found the cat. She was about to re-claim her Pretty when someone had taken it from her…again!

"No," she moaned, "not again." She felt the piece of parchment in her other hand start to get warm and looked down on it. The markings were beginning to shift and change.

Sabine's eyes widened when she realized what was happening. The piece of parchment still functioned as if it were part of the original map. "Yes! Find the Pretty!"

The lines continued to shift until they formed into another location…SAN FRANCISCO.

"I have you now!" she screeched and apparated off to the location on the parchment, her maniacal laughter echoing through the castle courtyard.

* * * * * *

"WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER!?!" screeched Molly Weasley for what felt like the hundredth time in five hours.

Jesse flinched. "I don't know!" he said again, he lost count after the first dozen times. "I tried to warn her. Joscoe was probably tired and hungry and went off somewhere. He usually does that."

The three of them were sitting at a table in the Leaky Cauldron. It was about seven in the morning, and the Cauldron was still quiet except for the sound of Tom the Proprietor working in the back.

"It's been nearly five hours," Mrs. Weasley hissed. "And they haven't come back."

"Now, Molly," said Arthur Weasley as he put a reassuring hand on his wife's shoulder. "Jesse's familiar is a little unusual."

This time, Molly reared back on her husband and Jesse found himself wondering how such a harmless looking and loving mother of seven could suddenly turn into a fire breathing demon.

"Unusual?" repeated Mrs. Weasley through clenched teeth, her face starting to turn a deep crimson. "Unusual! Is that what you call a creature that Apparates at will across the country?"

Mr. Weasley's face started to redden slightly and Jesse started to shift nervously in his chair. Mrs. Weasley glared at them both. "What?"

Jesse and Mr. Weasley exchanged troubled glances, each hoping the other would be the unfortunate one to break the bad news. After a few more moments of awkward silence, Mr. Weasley cleared his throat. "Um…yes…well. Molly, I must confess that I wasn't completely honest with you."

Molly Weasley's eyes narrowed, and Jesse could have sworn there was steam coming out her nostrils. "About what, Arthur?"

Jesse started to get up from the table. "Hey, how about some breakfast? I bet you two are hungry."

Mr. Weasley grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back to the table. "Hold on, Jesse. You're not leaving me alone for this."

"But I was just-"

"Sit." Mr. Weasley then looked back to his wife. "Now Molly, don't be too upset…but Jesse has something to tell you."

Mrs. Weasley turned to glare at Jesse, who was starting to wish he hadn't awakened from his coma. "And what do you have to tell me, Jesse?"

"Well," Jesse said with sheepish grin, hoping to keep things as light as possible. "Joscoe can do more than just travel the country…he could be just about anywhere in the world. For all we know, he could be in back home in the states or some place in New Zealand."

"WHAT!?!" screamed the enraged witch and mother of seven.

Jesse rubbed his forehead, wishing he had an aspirin to deal with the throbbing headache that was starting to develop. He knew Ginny wasn't in any trouble…so long as Joscoe stayed with her. But he also knew that Joscoe had the habit of going to some of the weirdest places when he was in one of his "wandering" moods.

Dammit, Jos, where are you?

* * * * * *

Ginny saw the world flicker back into existence around her and found herself standing on a city sidewalk. It was dark outside, but the streetlights illuminated the whole area she was in. She got a strange look by one pedestrian who shook his head and muttered something to himself about imagining things. She looked down at Joscoe again. "This isn't London, Joscoe."

Joscoe mewled again, then wriggled himself out her arms and landed on the ground. He shook himself off a little and stretched before pausing to sniff the air. He meowed loudly and suddenly started to run down the sidewalk.

"Joscoe!" Ginny yelled as she ran after him. "Wait up!"

She ran after him for about two blocks and found him standing in front of what was an outdoor fish market and mewling softly as he pawed at a covered crate.

"I can't believe it…we came all this way for you to get a snack?"

The cat growled at her, jumped on top of the crate and began pawing at the tarp covering the crate. A few seconds later, Joscoe managed to pull out a piece of halibut and began chomping away on it.

"Hey," Ginny said as she tried to grab the fish away from the cat and he swiped at her with his paw. "You can't just steal that. Besides, they're closed."

Joscoe meowed at her and she could have sworn that he was saying "So what?"

"Look, we need to-" Ginny was cut off as the crate exploded, knocking her to the ground and sending Joscoe flying the other direction..

"Yes…Pretty will be back home," a cold voice rasped.

Ginny shook her head and looked up from the ground to see an old woman with tangled gray hair and ragged robes standing over an unconscious Joscoe, a meat cleaver in one hand and piece of parchment in the other.

"Yes," the old hag rasped again, her back turned towards Ginny. "And now, you vile beast…I take Pretty back from you, now!"

Ginny's eyes widened in horror as the old hag knelt down and raised the meat cleaver high in the air. Before she even realized what she was doing, she had already pulled her wand out of her cloak and was pointing it at the old hag.

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

The spell hit the hag in middle of her back and sent her flying into some stacked crates. Ginny quickly got up from the ground, scooped up Joscoe, and ran for her life. Behind her, she could hear the old hag cursing as she tried to dig herself out of the debris.

"You'll pay for this, little one!" she heard the old lady screech as she ran around the corner.

"Joscoe…wake up." She shook the cat slightly and he began to stir. "Joscoe!"

The cat opened one eye and mewled softly.

"Joscoe!" Ginny screamed as she felt something hot whiz by her head and hit the wall of a nearby building.

The calico kitten looked up at her, a dazed look in his eyes.

"You need to get us out before-" Ginny cut herself off as the old hag suddenly flashed into existence in front of her, wand pointed at her head.

"Avada-" the hag screeched. But Ginny never heard the rest of the spell, because the world suddenly vanished again in a flash of white light. "Kedavra!"

There was a flash of green as the spell passed through the empty space the girl was only a moment earlier and hit several trash cans outside another nearby building.

"NOOOOOOooooo!" screamed Sabine.

"Hey!" someone yelled, causing Sabine to look up. "We're trying to sleep up here, so shut up!"

Sabine saw a man sticking his head out of a window and glaring at her. His hair was unkempt and he looked like he had just woke up…which probably wasn't that far from the truth . She gave him a lopsided grin and pointed her wand at him.

"CRUCIO!"

* * * * * *

Back at the Leaky Cauldron, Jesse sat at the table and jabbed at the eggs on his plate with a fork. He was eating alone at the moment, but looked over and saw Arthur Weasley sitting at another table, trying to reassure his wife that their daughter would be fine. Jesse believed Ginny and Joscoe would be fine, but the angry glares he got from Mrs. Weasley had him praying that he was right. He looked back down at his plate.

Well, he thought to himself, it was only a matter of time before things went to hell. Not much I can do about it now.

"Oy, Jesse!"

Jesse looked up and saw Fred and George Weasley approaching him. He groaned inwardly…he liked the twins, they were fun to hang out with, but he knew they'd be just as mad at him for making their sister disappear. The twins sat down at the table and it was Fred who talked in a hushed voice. "We heard a rumour that you made our sister disappear. Is it true?"

Jesse nodded his head in resignation. "Yeah."

And here comes the anger and hostility.

The twins kept their expressions neutral. In fact, it was the only time Jesse had ever seen them look this serious. "So, how did you do it?" asked George.

Jesse shook his head. "It wasn't me, it was my cat. He's got this ability…he's kind of like a living portkey, I'm not quite sure how he does it. He can pretty much go anywhere around the world."

"Anywhere," repeated George.

"Around the world," finished Fred.

The twins looked back at each other for a moment, then looked back at Jesse…and he saw their faces break into matching grins. Fred was the first to speak.

"Jesse," he began. "If your cat and our sister return intact, we'll need to talk. We would definitely like to do business with you."

"Huh?" Jesse was not expecting this kind of reaction. "I thought you'd be upset."

"We are," said George. "To think that we were trapped here with Mom and Dad in Diagon Alley, and you had the means to go anywhere without being tracked."

"But what about your sister?"

"Oh yeah, that," said Fred. "Well, if she doesn't come back in one piece…we will have to hurt you. Nothing personal, but she is family."

* * * * * *

The last thing Ginny saw was the old witch pointing a wand at her and screaming the death curse…and then there was a flash of white light. The next thing she knew, she was squinting as the sun shone down on her. After her eyes adjusted to the sunlight, she looked down at Joscoe who still looked a little dazed. She carefully set the cat on the ground.

"Joscoe, are you okay?"

Joscoe stumbled a few feet before collapsing to the ground and mewling. He rolled over to one side and closed his eyes. Only the soft purring told Ginny that he was still alive…probably still a little dazed. She knelt down and scratched the cat behind the ears, causing him to open an eye and meow softly. "Just lay there for a moment, and relax, all right? I'll try to figure out where you dumped us."

Ginny stood up and looked around, then gasped when she found herself standing in front of a building that appeared to be made of sails…then she realized that the building was actually made of creamy white tile carefully constructed to make it appear it was made of sails. She looked over at a nearby sign that read: "Syndey Opera House."

Then she turned and found herself looking out over a harbor where she saw several boats going back and forth across the bay. "Australia," she said in disbelief as she turned to look back at Joscoe who was trying to get back up on his feet. "You brought us to Australia?"

Joscoe meowed at her as he stood up on wobbly legs. He shook his head again and then paused to sniff the air. With a soft growl, he started running off around the corner of the building.

"Joscoe, wait!" Ginny cursed under her breath as she took off after the calico.

A few seconds after Ginny had left, Sabine popped into existence, still holding the parchment and her meat cleaver. "Pretty…I'm coming, Pretty. Soon, you will be home again."

Ginny followed Joscoe across a street and saw him enter what appeared to be a muggle telephone booth. But there seemed to be something odd about this phone booth. It was painted blue and had what appeared to be a flashing light on top of it. As she approached the phone booth, a tall man with dark curly hair wearing an overcoat and a very long multi-colored scarf stepped out the booth, holding Joscoe by the scruff of his neck and looking him in the eye.

"And stay out!" the man snapped as he dropped Joscoe to the ground and entered the phone booth, closing the booth's door behind him. Joscoe hissed and started pawing at the door.

Ginny picked Joscoe up, but he was still hissing at the blue booth. "Joscoe, what's wrong?" There was a strange grinding sound and Ginny gasped as she watched the blue phone booth disappear into thin air. "Joscoe?" she asked as she looked down at the cat. "Who was that?"

Joscoe meowed at her in response then glanced back where the blue box had been standing only moments before.

"PRETTY!?!"

Ginny turned and groaned as she saw the crazed hag running towards them. "Oh no…not again."

Joscoe hissed in agreement and they both disappeared in a flash of white light again.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Sabine again for the third time. She looked down at the parchment and saw the lines begin to reform into a new location: London.

With an evil giggle, Sabine popped out of existence as she apparated to London. There was only one place that accursed cat would go, she realized. And she wouldn't have to waste time tracking him.

When the world flashed back into existence, it took Ginny a few seconds to realize where she was. It wasn't until she saw some familiar street signs that she realized that she was back in London…in fact, they were outside of a small fish market that was just down the street from the Leaky Cauldron.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "We're home."

She kissed Joscoe, who meowed once more and struggled to get out of her grip. She let him go and laughed as she watched him paw at the door and mewl sadly. There was a sign on the door that read "Closed due to family emergency."

Ginny shook her head and laughed as she sat down on a bench outside the small market. Joscoe growled angrily and then disappeared in a flash of light. A few seconds later, he appeared next to Ginny, a small fish in his mouth.

Ginny reached over and scratched him behind the ears again. "You know," she said as she watched Joscoe gulp down his meal, "you could have just come here first instead of dragging me all over the world."

Joscoe growled softly at her, then climbed into her lap. Then he looked up at her and purred contentedly.

"So, you ready to go back?"

The cat responded by rubbing his head against her hand.

"Okay…now, let's hope that crazed hag doesn't show up."

Sabine found herself across the street from the Muggle entrance to the Leaky Cauldron. "Yes!" she hissed. "Pretty! I have you now!"

She looked up and down the street, ignoring the occasional strange looks she got from the Muggles who walked by. That was when she saw that little red-haired witch and that wretched cat that had eaten her Pretty. The girl hadn't seen her yet and Sabine smiled wickedly as she reached into her cloak for her wand and started to cross the street.

Yes, she had decided, the girl must die first…and then…that vile beast would pay for his sins. She could see the girl looking back down from where she had come. Perhaps she was making sure Sabine wasn't behind her.

"Not this time," cackled Sabine as she was about to step onto the sidewalk, wand ready. "Ava-"

*BANG!*

Ginny looked up to see the Knight Bus suddenly appear outside of the Leaky Cauldron, then swerve out of control as the driver hit the brakes. She also heard a loud scream and saw a body go flying down the street. That was when she realized in horror that it was the old hag that had been chasing her and Joscoe around the world.

Then she winced in pain as an oncoming Muggle car hit the old hag and send her flying into the air before landing on the ground with a sickening crunch.

The door to the Knight Bus opened and the conductor stepped out to look around before turning to yell back into the bus. "Oy! Ern! I think you hit somethin'!"

Seconds later, Ginny saw several officials of the Ministry of Magic suddenly appear and try to take control of the scene. She quietly stepped up to the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron and clutched Joscoe a little tighter. But before she pulled the door open, she glanced back to see several people gathered around the now dead hag. A small piece of paper fluttered from between the legs of the small crowd, ignored as a light breeze blew it across the street before it came to rest in a rain gutter.

Ginny shook her head at the somewhat surreal scene as a member of the Ministry of Magic approached her.

"Ginny Weasley?" asked the man in the emerald cloak.

Ginny nodded as she looked up at the man and recognized him as the man who had started working with her father.

"You gave your parents quite a fright, young lady," said Jason Morgan as he opened the door for her. "Your parents said you disappeared."

"Yes," said Ginny as she held up Joscoe. For a moment, she thought of telling him everything, but then she realized that it would possibly lead to the Ministry taking Joscoe away. "I had to get some air and I took the cat with me for a short walk."

Morgan stared at her for a moment, studying her, and Ginny could sense that he knew she wasn't being entirely truthful. Then his lips formed a small smile. "Uh-huh, right. A walk." He gave her a wink and motioned for her to get inside the building. "You might want to talk to your parents about that."

Then he closed the door behind her and she found herself standing in the Leaky Cauldron. She could see her parents sitting at a table with Jesse, Fred, and George. They all looked up and she couldn't help but silently laugh at the reaction on their faces.

"Ginny!" shouted Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as they got up from the table. Fred and George were smiling and Jesse sank back in his chair, a look of visible relief on his face. Harry, Hermione, and Ron showed up a few seconds later. After enduring at least a half hour of hugs and explaining everything that had happened, Ginny finally sat down next to Jesse and placed Joscoe on the table in front of him.

"So," she said after a few moments of awkward silence. "Would you mind telling me why a crazed hag would be chasing after your cat around the world with a meat cleaver?"

Jesse looked over at her and grinned. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

Jesse sighed and shook his head. "How much time you got?"

* * * * * *

Three hours after the "accident" with the Knight Bus and the Muggle car, Jason Morgan found himself standing on the sidewalk, watching the crowd as they walked by. He, along with several other Aurors had modified the memories of nearly a hundred people. It really wasn't that much of a task…convincing them that they had merely witnessed a pedestrian get hit twice while illegally crossing the street. They only had to be convinced they did not see a giant purple bus appear out of nowhere before hitting her. As far as the Muggles were concerned, just the occasional accident.

But after talking to Arthur Weasley and his daughter, Jason had gotten the whole story. The old hag was chasing after Ginny and the cat she had with her. According to Arthur Weasley, the cat functioned like a living port-key. Jason smiled at that thought…he knew they were telling the truth about the cat, but he couldn't help finding it amusing in a morbid sort of way, especially with the way the old hag had met her demise.

He sighed as he looked around one last time. He was the last person to leave the scene of the accident and he wanted to make sure that there was no trace of the Wizarding World left in the street. He pulled out his wand and discreetly pointed it at the street.

"Retego," he said softly. A few moments later, a piece of crumpled paper fluttered out of a nearby gutter and into his hand. He looked it over curiously, wondering what would be so magical for what appeared to be a piece of rubbish. He flattened the paper out and that was when he saw it…the lines and lettering on the paper were shifting, rearranging…until they formed two words: Diagon Alley.

"Hmmm, interesting," he said as he pocketed the paper. He wasn't quite sure what he had, but he was certain that it had something to do with the crazed hag, Ginny Weasley, and that cat. But there would be time to look into that later. For now, it would be best to finish his duties for the day before heading off to Lucius Malfoy's "dinner party" in the evening.