Take It Like a Man

The weekly meeting of the Order of the Phoenix was wrapping up, parchment and quills packed away, and goodbyes were said. Those staying for dinner lingered behind, and the ones not in the Order filed into the kitchen, Fred and George laughing somewhat menacingly about a new product they'd invented. They took seats at the end of the long wooden table, looking around for their next victim.

"Tonks?" Fred asked.

"She'd skin us alive. How about Bill?"

Fred shook his head. "No thanks. I really don't have a desire to see THAT."

George looked around. "Hermione?"

"Ron would skin us alive," Fred pointed out.

They continued to scan the room, until their eyes fell on the perfect victim. "Harry," they said in unison, their lips curling into identical mischievious grins.

Fred pulled out a small rubber ball from his pocket and passed it to George. "Remember. Hit his clothes anywhere, and it should work."

George nodded seriously, and took aim.

Arthur looked up from his conversation with Harry just as George was about to throw the small item. Thinking that it couldn't be anything good, he quickly stepped in front of Harry. As the ball hit him in the stomach, Arthur was horrified to realize that his clothes were beginning to disappear. "Fred! George! What is - Oh, Merlin," he said, weakly, as his shorts disappeared, and he was standing, naked, in front of an entire kitchen full of people.

Fred and George howled with laughter, tears running down their cheeks, Bill joining them in a more surreptitious way. It took others a bit longer to figure out what happened happened, and soon, most eyes were on Arthur. Moody, being closest to Hermione, covered her eyes with a hand quickly, and coughed. Dumbledore, who was still sitting at the head of the table, averted his eyes, staring politely at the ceiling.

Ron was staring with his mouth hanging open. Tonks was staring as well, but her lips were curved in a little smile. "So that's what it takes to get Arthur out of his trousers," she said cheekily, winking when Arthur turned to look at her with an incredulous stare.

Moody and Molly both glared at her, and Molly, in need of a release of tension, let off a noise like a steam whistle. "ARTHUR! You could at least have the decency to cover yourself. And you two," she screamed, turning on Fred and George. "I suppose you think this is funny! Put him right, now!"

"We can't, Mum," Fred gasped.

"It only goes one way," George agreed.

Remus, who'd just been coming in from the pantry, took in the entire scene. He crossed the room, picking his cloak off the peg by the door, and hurried back, just as Snape was saying, "So that's the reason they have so many brats," and draped it over Arthur's shoulders. "It's all right," Remus whispered, pulling an extremely embarrassed Arthur from the room.

Arthur didn't know whether to thank him or glare at him, his pride now mortally wounded. Once a safe distance away from the kitchen, he settled on a thank you. "When I get my hands on Fred and George..."

Remus cocked his head, hearing a series of muted shouts from the kitchen. "I believe Molly is taking care of that for you." He offered Arthur a little grin. "So, what's it like to flash the majority of the Order?"

Arthur laughed a bit. "Not nearly so fun as it sounds," he said ruefully, then went upstairs to put on some clothes.

When he returned to the kitchen, there was a studious silence, except for Bill, who kept snickering occasionally. Fred and George were conspicuously absent, though there was an ominous thumping from the root cellar. Moody looked around, disgusted. "Oh, really. It's nothing we haven't seen before."

Eventually, the conversation rose again, spurred on by Moody, and Arthur made a mental note to buy him something nice. As he sat down for dinner, trying not to blush, he noted the majority of the men shift somewhat self-consciously in their chairs, and he allowed himself a slight smirk.

"Mr. Weasley?"

Arthur turned, looking up at Harry. "Oh, hello," he said cordially, pulling out a chair for him.

Harry sat. "Um, I just wanted to thank you for... er... stepping in front of me..."

Arthur looked at him seriously, but with a bit of a twinkle in his eye. "Harry, you are NOT welcome. Next time Fred and George have anything planned for you, you take it like a man."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, laughing weakly. He made a mental note to stay the hell away from Fred and George for some time.